by Bennett Cerf
I hear New York is gay and mad. People are spending money like drunken sailors and it’s 1929 all over again only more so. That’s really a little depressing. How are Chris and Phyllis—when are you going to have another baby—are Saxe and Lew and the old gang happy? Is Pauline more beautiful than ever—how much do I owe Random House now—what is Red Lewis planning for a new book—did Walter Clark ever come in? Oh there are a million questions I’d like to ask. Don’t bother answering them. And let me know that you and Bob are happy—and that you’re having a good time out of life. I wish I were with you.
Love,
Donald
February 11, 1944
Dear Maje:
Haas looked so disgustingly healthy when he blew in from Florida that Miller, Commins, and Mr. and Mrs. Cerf turned right around and wrangled accommodations on a train headed for Miami next Thursday. I understand it is terribly overcrowded down there and filled with the worst gorillas in the country, but the thought of that hot sun and my tochus on a beach kind of balances everything. Seriously, we all need a couple of days of relaxation of that sort, because the going around here has been pretty hectic for a long, long time.
We are really seriously talking with Bob Linscott about having him come down to Random House. I am sure that if a deal can be worked out, you will be in favor of it, because I know that you share my feeling for Bob. He is no longer happy at Houghton Mifflin and, if he comes here, he will be able to take a terrific burden off my shoulders, particularly in regard to the entertainment and coddling of authors. I will let you know the minute something is settled. What held me back from talking seriously this long was the thought of post-war problems but, from the present look of things, there will be plenty of work for all of us, including Bob if he comes, for many years to come.
I have spent a lot of time with Dick Tregaskis. He is almost entirely recovered from his wounds and is pounding out a new book as fast as he knows how that will be bigger than GUADALCANAL DIARY. It is going to be called INVASION DIARY and will cover the raid over Rome (in which he participated), Sicily, Salerno and the whole battle of Italy up to the day on which he was hit. Then there will be several chapters on base hospitals and hospital ships—all first-hand, brand new stuff—and a final chapter comparing the Nazi and Jap fighting machines. After all, Dick is the first reporter who has seen both of them at first hand. I am terribly excited about the book.
Another great possibility is a book we are getting chapter by chapter from a guy down in Buenos Aires. The tentative title is ARGENTINE DIARY. If it comes off, it will be a bombshell. Add these two books to an already strong Spring list, and you can see that our only problem is going to be one of paper. Quent’s book is an “A” book with the Book-of-the-Month Club, but I don’t think it will be taken. Anyhow, it is a cinch that it will sell 50,000. Quent’s doing a weekly radio program now and is more popular than ever. The [Edgar] Snow manuscript is not yet ready which is a break for us, since we couldn’t handle it in the proper way at the same time as the Reynolds.…
You and your bunch seem to be doing a wonderful job. Keep it up and know that all of us think about you and talk about you constantly. I feel that this letter hasn’t got much bounce in it, but I am simply pooped and know that you will take the will for the deed. Everything is in great shape here.
My love,
Bennett
February 21, 1944
Dear Don:
We were happy to get your cable about the Illustrated Modern Library. The books went like hotcakes and it burns us up to discontinue them for the time being. The paper situation being what it is, however, we have absolutely no choice in the matter. We are trying to work out some kind of a deal whereby A. S. Barnes & Co. can publish these Illustrated Modern Library books for the duration with all rights reverting to us again immediately upon termination of the war emergency measures. Whether Washington will approve of this or not we have no way of knowing. I will keep you posted. Meanwhile, we are going ahead with the necessary art work and plate setting of the next ten titles anyhow so, no matter what happens, we will be in good shape to go into the thing with a bang as soon as the necessary paper is available.
As far as the regular Modern Library is concerned, we definitely will not ever be out of 100 titles at a time. We decided to do most of the skimping on the Giant series. These books, of course, eat up far too much of the available paper in proportion to the profit realized. We may have to cut our list of active Giants down to somewhere around 15 to 22 for the duration, but I think you will agree that this is preferable to letting too many of the little ones go out of stock. Of course we’ll be careful to see that the best selling Giants are always available, although we may have to ration orders on them. As you can see from the above, this is getting to be a perplexing and irritating business in some respects. And you can thank your lucky stars that you are missing plenty of heartaches. It has gotten to the point where a set of knockout reviews sends a publisher into a near panic. Good God, he says, clapping his hands to his head, I am afraid we’ve got another best seller on our hands. Isn’t it terrible? I am not really kidding about this at all. When you have just so much paper to meet all demands, most of the kick of putting over a new book disappears completely.
To answer the other questions propounded in your note of February 8th:
1. Phyllis and Christopher are wonderful. Phyllis is now the official chairman of her department at 99 Park, and has been written up in several newspapers. When that dame gets under way, I pity anybody who blocks her path. Talk about juggernauts. Your first wife was an amateur compared with my Phyllis! As for Christopher, he knows his whole alphabet and is rapidly reaching the “why Daddy?” stage. My patience, it will surprise you to know, is not limitless and I am afraid that I am not exactly the best father in the world. I am really crazy about the runt.
2. I doubt that we will have another baby. Phyllis got more of a scare about the Caesarian than I suspected at the time. I guess we’ll have to wait for another Harriman weekend! (Meanwhile, Edith Young is four months on the way.)
3. Everybody around here is as happy as can be expected. Saxe, Lew, Phyllis and I are shoving off Thursday for a couple of weeks of sunshine in Miami. I understand conditions down there are incredible, but they can’t take the sun and the beach away from us. That is all we want. I originally dictated this paragraph to Jez to read that the question whether Bob Linscott came with us or not was still in abeyance. Well, it isn’t in abeyance any longer. Bob just called up from Boston to say he is definitely coming with us, and I am happier about this than I can say. I hope you will agree with me that his acquisition is a tenstrike for Random House—not so much right now when we are restricted by lack of paper, etc., but for post-war expansion when we’ll really have an editorial board, in my opinion, that is better than anyone else’s in America. Bob will be particularly valuable in the business of entertaining authors, agents and editors. Women fall for him like a ton of bricks. I had him for dinner about ten days ago and the next morning Beatrice Kaufman and Peg Pulitzer called up separately to ask for his telephone number. And a certain young lady, who shall be nameless but who was once married to you, exclaimed upon hearing the news, “Goody, goody, now I can really walk out.” I went to some pains to explain to all of these worthy creatures that we were not getting Linscott down to take care of them! Saxe is delighted about the news and the only one who has any reservations whatever is Harry Maule. I anticipate a wee bit of trouble in that direction insofar as agents are concerned, but Bob is such a tactful fellow that I am sure everything will be ironed out in due course. The salary arrangement is a straight $200.00 a week with a small percentage to be agreed upon later on books that he is directly responsible for. Sooner or later we are going to have to give some of our key people a small stock participation in the business. That sort of thing is in the wind now and I think we owe it to some of the fellows around the office. If you have time, I’d like your views on this subject. Nothing, of course, will b
e done until you get back, but we ought to be thinking about it now.
…
Incidentally, when Houghton heard that Bob was thinking of leaving them, they offered him a staggering increase and anything else he wanted on a silver platter. He said ruefully that if they had given him half as much voluntarily he never would have dreamed of leaving. Isn’t it funny how our estimation of something goes soaring when somebody else wants it? For instance, I never really cared much about Jezebel’s fanny until I caught you potching her.
4. Your fourth question, in case you may have forgotten it, reads “Is Pauline more beautiful than ever?” By Pauline I presume you mean Jezebel. If this is true, why the hell don’t you say so? Jezebel is definitely more beautiful than ever and has now reached the super-dreadnought or Madeleine Boyd class. A nearsighted gentleman mistook her yesterday for Alice B. Toklas.…
5. Red Lewis is definitely planning another novel. He says he’s got the title for it already but won’t tell us what it is. He also says he thinks it will be his most popular subject since ARROWSMITH. He expects to start work on it in about two months. We may have it for publication in the Fall of 1945. He is in very good shape.
6. Quent Reynolds’ THE CURTAIN RISES looks like a runaway. The first edition of 26,000 copies is already sold out and 10,000 more are on press. The official publication date is March 6th. This book, like all the others on our list, are going forth to you regularly and I only hope that a few of them will actually reach you. I am also sending two more Spring catalogues to you in separate envelopes. Let me know if they arrive.
7. Walter Clark’s manuscript ran to some 1200 pages and needed cutting. He stayed at my house for three days last week and he and Saxe had some long sessions which I think will produce the necessary results. The book has some wonderful stuff in it but, frankly, I don’t think it’s as good as OX BOW. The best novels on our list this year are LIMIT OF DARKNESS by Howard Hunt and a book by Samuel Hopkins Adams called CANAL TOWN, which has really got the old zing in it. Then we’ve got Dick Tregaskis’ INVASION DIARY coming up. It will be a big season for us. Bob Haas will investigate Robert Boothby’s THE NEW ECONOMY immediately and will write you about it as soon as he has some details.
That’s enough about business for a while. Interesting as all these activities are, I am sure I don’t have to tell you that any one of us would happily swap places with you in a minute. You’re doing a job that is helping, in its infinitesimal way, to end the war; we’re just betting along in the old groove waiting for you guys to finish it for us. It is true that New Yorkers are throwing money around like crazy, but this isn’t quite as awful as it sounds. There are so many things they can’t buy that there is all the more left for flinging away in restaurants, theatres and night clubs. And wait until they see their March 15th tax reports! I had mine made up early so I could get paid before I left for Florida. Wow! Keep pitching, Klopfer, and know that we all miss you and love you.
As ever,
Bennett
March 3–44
Dear Bennett:
By golly, I was glad to get your letter of Feb. 21 to-day. Do you know that is the first letter I’ve received from you this year! I haven’t received either the Spring list or any RH books except the Illustrated ML’s that Pat sent me. I’m sure you’ve written many. I know you send books but they just haven’t gotten to me. Business certainly must be annoying what with all these restrictions and an unlimited market. But I’ll be damned if I can feel sorry for the life you’re leading what with you, Thrup, Lew & Saxe going down to Florida. I’ve had exactly four days off since Oct. 15th and that means days net, as we work seven days a week over here. It’s amazing how one gets out of the habit of weekends or even Sundays off. And since they are sending over Groups without the grandchildren, now we are having to supply offices and EM to these Groups. That cuts down personnel and makes the work even harder. It would really be a strain if there was something around here that one wanted to do, but as there are no attractions about I don’t mind it. But that’s enough grousing now—I am tired and stale as all hell but I guess I’ll be that way until the end of the war.
It seems too bad that the Giants have to go out of stock but if you can keep the regular ML up and not use contracts etc for the Giants during this war period I guess we can revisit this after the war. I should think the object of the game at the present time is to publish books that will sell 5000 copies the first year and will still be selling 5000 copies 20 years from now. Try to find them!
I didn’t know we were once more negotiating for the services of one Linscott. I can’t tell you how happy I’ll be to have him in the RH family. You wouldn’t have made a happier choice in the editorial end and I know Bob will enjoy working with RH and all of us will be delighted to have him added to the business. The sex life of at least six girls around town ought to be more satisfactory now that he’s moved to N.Y. That’s quite an organization you and RRH are building up at Random House. I wonder about two things. (1) will there be any reason for me in it at the end of all this horrible mess and will I be any asset to the business (2) will Random House be any fun at all as a “big business” instead of our very personal venture? Oh well, I can worry about that when, as, and if I return. As far as stock interests for the key people in the business is concerned, I’m all for it if some satisfactory method can be devised so that when and if they quit their interest can be repurchased by the company. I’ve never heard of a minority stockholder getting out of a privately owned corporation with anything but hard feelings all around. And once you have stockholders you have to start paying dividends, watching salaries and in general acting like an honest corporation instead of working on the basis of “It’s OK if it suits the three of us.” It’s not a simple procedure and you have to go into it mighty carefully or everyone will be unhappy at the result.
I’m sorry to hear that Walter Clark’s novel is not as good as Ox Bow. In my mind, he’s potentially the best writer we have—but that second novel has to be really good. Have Saxe give him the works. News of Red Lewis is grand—that’s sure future profit.
Keep your hands off Pauline. Just because I turn my back for a few minutes don’t try to take advantage of the poor girl.
And don’t be a God damned fool, Cerfie, to want to change places with me or anyone else over here in this God forsaken part of England! Thank your lucky stars every day that you’re at home with your wife, kid and business and leading a pretty normal life with friends and relaxation and stimuli at your command. This show hasn’t the slightest element of fun about it. It’s nothing but hard work—a degraded type of excitement and tragedy every damned time the boys take to the air and that’s every day that the weather permits. The flow of new runs and airplanes seems endless and as we lose some another batch of expendables comes walking in. Every time a fully equipped B24 crashes $390,000 is signed away by the CO and ten lives under the age of 30 are snuffed out. It isn’t pretty and you’re lucky not to have anything to do with it. I still think I’m doing exactly what I should be doing but no one can ever make me say I like it or that I prefer it in any way to my normal, dull routine life. The whole air show is approaching a climax and we’ll just keep pouring it on as the weather clears up a bit and we can move. It’s going to be costly but last week’s bombing proved to me that the old Luftwaffe can never stop us from hitting any target in Germany that we really want to hit. That goes for Berlin too! London is being kicked around a bit now, but nothing serious and we get a very minor share of it every week.
And now I’m about written out—but give my love to Thrup and that infant prodigy of yours. Please thank Louise* for her thoughtful letter and love to Saxe, Lew, Pauline and all of my friends at RH.
Love,
Donald
March 11, 1944
Dear Benito:
Your letter of Feb. 11 arrived to-day. I have already received and answered one written subsequent to that date. So you see how irregular the mail service really is.
Our December figures certainly were lousy in comparison with last year’s! But the thing that I don’t like to see is those old inventory figures going down. I hope we are not just selling our birthright every time we make a good sale. God damn it this is the time to build for after the war when we will need it. I expect to be flat broke at the end of it because I’ll probably have to sell what stocks I have to pay any income tax when I finally get out. I’ll owe for ’42, ’43, ’44 and ’45 and I won’t have the dough—Maybe I’ll go down and live on the farm and vegetate. You fellows are doing a grand job without me there and I don’t know whether there’ll be any place when I return. The addition of Bob will take a lot off your shoulders. Lew certainly can handle the sales end—Bob Haas and Ray the manufacturing with time to spare for the general office work, and hell, that’s all you really need. With Linscott to take some of the author work off your minds you will have time to look into other ends of the business that are top heavy with executives. Do you really think we can hold to that $2000000 level after the war? It seems fantastic to me but I suppose it’s perfectly possible. I guess I always was a small time operator. And is it any fun anymore, or are you just developing a big audience like Doubleday’s or S & S? We’ve had so damned much fun out of the business that I hate to think I’m a stranger to this new phase of it.
The 8th AF really went to town in the last couple of weeks. Give us two more of clear weather and we’ll have the Luftwaffe in the ropes. Our boys have done a beautiful job! I don’t imagine there’ll be much rest between now and the end of the invasion, when, as, and if!