But she wasn’t going to miss her snorkeling. She should get something out of this ill-fated weekend.
Kimberly quickly changed, grabbed the things she needed and made a quick trip by the restaurant—where she didn’t see Jack.
“Going snorkeling?”
Kimberly turned abruptly, thinking Jack was behind her, but it was Devin. “Jack and I were supposed to go together, but he’s MIA. No surprise there.”
“Where is he?”
“I haven’t a clue. I have to go or I’ll be late.”
“You need a partner.”
“Maybe another person in the group will need a partner, too.”
“Hold up a minute. I’m going with you. I’ll meet you at the pier in ten minutes.”
Kimberly was on the boat before her cell phone rang. She had a good mind to ignore it, but she answered.
“Where are you?” Jack asked.
“Where do you think I am? I’m on the boat.”
“Why didn’t you come by to get me?”
Kimberly was too full of anger for words. He was the one who didn’t show up and he asks me? “I must have sat at the wrong table at lunch, because obviously I didn’t see you.”
“The time got away from me. You should have called.”
“We’re almost out of range,” she said and hung up. She wanted to toss the phone in the ocean. But she turned it off and stuck it into her bag.
Her eyes veered to the horizon. Devin patted her hand. “He loves you. Just remember that.”
Kimberly was too angry to respond.
“Beautiful day, isn’t it?” someone beside her said.
Kimberly used her television face to control her erratic emotions and nodded. She even managed to produce a smile. “Yes, it is.”
“My daughter and I take a trip once a year before the high tourist season. I just love it. Usually, we come in the winter after hurricane season, but both of us had projects that prevented us this time. Those currents can get vicious after a storm.”
“I usually come every summer,” Kimberly said.
“I’m Shelly, and this is my daughter, Casey. I was just telling her that you look familiar.”
“Where are you from?” Kimberly asked.
“D.C.”
“I’m a meteorologist,” she said, naming the station she aired on. “I do the morning forecast.”
“I knew I’d seen you before. But I thought your hair was longer.”
“I just cut it.”
“That’s why you look so different. I usually listen to you as I dress in the mornings.”
Kimberly smiled.
The boat stopped and the guide anchored it. Then they were in the ocean—and the shock of the cold water gripped her breath until her body acclimated to the drop in temperature. It was truly a different world beneath the Caribbean water.
Many in the group were couples, and even though Devin was with her, Kimberly felt the loss intense and sharp. The tango of lovers. Legs touched. Warm looks. The dance of lovers beneath the waters she’d experienced with Jack on their first honeymoon. All that was missing.
The reefs were gorgeous. But it couldn’t take the place of having her husband’s undivided attention for a change. Was she asking for too much? Was she acting needy?
Kimberly had known the truth all along, but had managed to push it to the back of her mind. Jack didn’t marry her because he wanted to, but because he felt obligated to. She finished college, but she’d always wondered, if she had not been pregnant, would he have married her at all? And was that the reason she couldn’t keep his attention now? He felt an obligation to her and the children.
Kimberly felt tears welling up. But she couldn’t afford to cry while wearing a mask. She forced them back. She loved Jack with every beat of her heart. But love meant having the strength to give him up if the relationship was stifling him.
More and more, she felt she was holding him in a place where he didn’t want to be.
Chapter 4
Damn. Kimberly will be really steamed when she returns, Jack thought, deeply regretting his lateness. He couldn’t help feeling annoyed, too. He shouldn’t have to tiptoe around his wife to expand his business.
Since Kimberly was gone and there was no sense worrying, he might as well work. But the warm sun and the gentle breeze of the Caribbean beckoned him. He gathered his papers into his briefcase and trucked out to the beach, moving his lounge chair away from the others before he parked himself on it, with his cell phone close by. He was waiting for a call from Lauren. He might as well get the work finished. He and Kimberly were leaving in the morning.
He’d promised himself and Kimberly he’d never give her a reason to regret marrying him, but he wondered sometimes if she did—if she sometimes wished she’d married that guy back home, from the wealthy family, safely established in a third-generation business. With him, she’d never have to worry about a catastrophe that could pull the rug from under your feet.
At least he’d chosen his locations well. Each of his brewpubs was making a profit.
And at least he and Kimberly had tonight together. Right now she wouldn’t understand, but eventually, Jack was certain, she’d come around. Or would she? She was testy lately. In the past she always fell in line with his dreams. She understood the work required in owning your own business. But after all these years she was becoming more demanding.
The tropical breeze blew over his skin, relieving the heat a bit. He ordered a gin and tonic, then tried to reach Kimberly again. Her phone was turned off. The waiter served his drink, and after signing the check, he took a sip and opened his briefcase.
At least Kimberly was getting a vacation out of this. She was overworked. It was easy for her to think expanding wasn’t important and that they had enough. There had been a time before his father died that his family had lived well. Beautiful house in D.C., in a nice safe neighborhood, nice clothes and cars. Everything a growing family needed. And at first, after his father’s death, although stricken with grief, they managed to do well for a couple of years.
Then his mother remarried—a loser named Raymond. Raymond knew just how to win them all over. He was one of those smooth-talking men who knew just the right words to say for every situation.
Jack wasn’t that smooth-talking. He was more like his dad. He did what needed to be done to keep his family safe. But not his stepdad. Raymond managed to run through every cent Jack’s late dad had amassed.
Jack and his older brothers were forced to work while they went to school, to help their mother make ends meet until she was able to function on her own.
His younger sisters and brothers wanted to work, too, but his mother assigned chores around the house for them to do.
Yes, Kimberly felt nice and safe in their huge house with four floors including the basement. The third floor alone was large enough to hold a family with three kids.
His dad had done well, too. Not quite as well as Jack had, but they had been comfortable. But what had taken his dad a lifetime to build, his stepfather had squandered in little over a year.
Life had a way of turning on a dime. Kimberly thought that because he wasn’t around every moment the kids were home that he didn’t spend enough time with them. What parent did, unless they were obsessive like her? Did he complain about that? He thought about the baby that was not to be and felt an abiding sense of loss.
It was late that afternoon before Kimberly made it back to the island. “Thanks for diving with me, Devin. I hope it wasn’t too much of an imposition.”
“Will you stop worrying? I enjoyed myself, sis. I’m at your service anytime.” Squeezing her hand lightly, he left her at the door and drove away. A moment later, Kimberly let herself into the room.
It was a beautiful day after all, especially after she met the mother and daughter from D.C. And Devin certainly kept her entertained, relating childhood episodes with his brothers and sisters. She’d thought she’d heard them all, but Devin always revealed somethin
g new. She’d wished again that she could have brought the children along.
Will wonders ever cease, she thought, with a sarcastic look on her face. Jack was in the room, already dressed for dinner. He was opening a bottle of wine.
“Enjoy your snorkeling?” he had the nerve to ask.
“Yes,” she replied without elaborating.
“I’m sorry you had to go alone.”
Kimberly peeled off her clothes. “I’m accustomed to being alone.”
Trying to keep a grip on his temper, Jack poured a glass of wine and handed it to her.
“Thank you.”
“I picked out a nice little restaurant a short walk from here. I think you’ll like it.”
“I’ll shower and get ready then.” Kimberly was determined to avoid the subject of his absence. Just like she’d avoided it her entire marriage. She took the wineglass with her into the shower. The water felt good running over her body.
After she finished and toweled dry, she rubbed lotion all over, dried her hair and fixed it, and dressed carefully. At this point she didn’t know what to do about her marriage. Perhaps it was because she’d let things go so long that Jack still had tunnel vision about their relationship. It was hard to be optimistic, but she tried to look on the bright side. At least they had two more days to talk, to work out their differences, before they returned home.
When she came out of the bathroom Jack gave her a long whistle. “You’re gorgeous.”
“Thank you,” she said demurely.
He gave her a rose and they left for dinner. She hoped he didn’t think that small gesture made up for his absence. She lifted the rose to her nose and inhaled. She tried not to put a negative spin on his actions. After all, the rose was a sweet gesture.
It was another lovely evening, with the energetic beat of calypso music. The brisk breeze blowing across the water had increased. They walked along the shore after they ate, she carrying her shoes in her hands.
“This is nice, isn’t it?”
“Very. I wish we could stay longer,” Jack said.
“We have a couple more days.”
“I’m sorry, honey, but we have to leave tomorrow. I have a million things to go over for a Tuesday meeting.”
Kimberly had promised herself she wouldn’t argue, but Jack pushed all the wrong buttons. “If this wasn’t a good time for you, why did we come?”
“The children were worried. I thought, if we got away together, it would ease some of their concerns.”
“So this vacation wasn’t about spending time together after all—or an attempt to build on our marriage.”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t spend more time with you, but…”
“If you had been up-front about this, then I could have made different plans,” Kimberly said. “We didn’t have to come here.”
“Didn’t you have a nice time?”
“But I thought I’d be spending the vacation with you, Jack. Aren’t you even listening to me?”
“There was work to do.”
“I work, too, but I take time out for our family. You have to take a more active role in the kids’ lives. And I want a husband, not a bank.”
“Yeah, well, when you want to buy something and you don’t have to worry about the cost, you spin a different tune. You don’t have to worry about where the kids’ college money is coming from, do you?”
“Of course those things are important, but I want them to remember being part of a warm, loving family, too.”
“I love my kids.”
“I know you do. You married me for them, didn’t you?”
“Are we back to that again? What did you expect me to do, Kim, leave you?” He sighed tiredly. “Kim, we’re always going over circular arguments. There’s no end to them. Here we are, on a lovely Caribbean island. We could be enjoying the evening, but you’re fighting about nothing.”
“Do you even want this marriage, Jack?” Kimberly asked softly.
“If I didn’t I wouldn’t be here. Does that answer your question once and for all?”
Silence stretched between them.
“Sometimes I wonder if you know me at all,” Kimberly finally said.
“Why do we have to go through the same drama all the time? Why can’t we enjoy this last night on the island together?”
“Because you do things without even considering my wants or needs. Why didn’t you at least discuss it with me first?”
“I didn’t see you today.”
“And whose fault is that?”
“It’s life. There’s no reason to pass blame. It’s unproductive.”
Kimberly started walking toward the hotel. She wasn’t a defeatist, but she finally admitted to herself she didn’t know what to do to bring her husband around. If Jack didn’t want to spend time with her, there was nothing she could do about it. More than ever, Kimberly believed that Jack kept his promise when he married her. He never said he’d love her forever, but that she’d never go without the things she and the children needed. He’d always provided a roof. They’d never gone hungry. She made good money, too, even before she went full-time, but it was a drop in the bucket compared to what the pubs and the resort netted.
But she was hungry for a need that a full stomach and a roof could never provide.
“Where are you going?” Jack asked.
“I have to pack.”
Sighing, he followed her.
“Wait a minute. I don’t need to leave.” Suddenly, Kimberly stopped and faced him. “I’ve spent most of the vacation alone anyway. Why don’t you go back and I’ll stay?” All the time she’d spent trying to get him to see reason was for nothing.
“Is that what you want?”
“Just answer one question. What material thing do we need that we don’t already have? The kids have so many clothes that the tags are still on some of the ones I give to charity. They have way more than they need, except time with you. We all have more material things than we need.”
“You don’t appreciate a thing I do for my family, do you?”
“I appreciate it, Jack. I just think we have our priorities skewed.” She turned and continued into the cabana.
Jack wanted to tell Kimberly that, regardless of what they had now, life could turn on a dime. She could have all the clothes in the world, but when disaster struck, all of it could disappear like a puff of smoke.
But she wouldn’t understand that. As much as he’d tried to convince her that they needed a secure future, she would never understand.
Of course he wanted to spend more time with his children. Of course he wanted more time with her. But couldn’t she appreciate that he was trying to make sure she’d never suffer as his mom had? His father had provided, but they’d lost everything except the house. His family would never know what going to bed hungry felt like.
That night, Kimberly and Jack slept on opposite sides of the king-size bed. Jack, with his arm thrown over his eyes. He didn’t even try to bridge the distance.
Stewing in her inability to forge a meaningful bond with Jack, Kimberly hugged the opposite edge.
All Kimberly’s dreams of a husband who loved her, and of growing old together, went up in smoke. With the exception of sex, they had nothing in common. They’d grown apart. Eventually, they’d end up like her parents. A year after Kimberly left for college her father had asked her mother for a divorce, and soon after moved in with a much younger woman. He’d given the excuse that he and his wife had nothing in common any longer. They’d grown too far apart, a gorge too wide to even try to connect. And truthfully, he didn’t even want to try.
If their relationship continued as it was, Kimberly could see herself in the same situation after April left home.
In the middle of the night Kimberly’s cell phone rang. Thinking something horrible had happened, she was surprised when she heard her producer’s voice.
“The storm’s coming closer to you than first predicted,” he said without preamble. “I know you don’t have
coverage there. If I get a film crew to you from a feeder station, can you cover it?”
“How close is this storm supposed to hit?”
“Far enough away that the island doesn’t have to be evacuated, but close enough that you’d get some of the effects. It’s shifted. The path has moved a couple of hundred miles closer.”
Kimberly wasn’t too happy about being so close to a hurricane, but when her producer mentioned it was predicted to be little more than a tropical storm, her concern diminished.
“I wouldn’t ask you to stay if I thought you’d be in any danger,” he said, when Kimberly hesitated. “You do have storm shelters on the island, don’t you?”
“Of course. I’ll do it,” she finally said and hung up.
“Who was that?” Jack asked groggily.
“My producer. The hurricane is coming closer than they first predicted and they want me to cover it.”
Jack slapped the covers back and sat up on his side of the bed. “Is he crazy? You’re not staying here to cover a hurricane.”
“Don’t worry,” Kimberly assured him. “It’s not going to hit this island.”
Jack stood, rounding on her. “I’m not leaving you here with a hurricane looming. I hope you have sense enough not to argue about this.”
“I’m staying,” she said adamantly. “If I run into trouble, Devin is here.”
“That’s not the point. You’re leaving on the plane with me in the morning.”
“I’m staying.” She turned her back to him and pulled the covers up to her shoulders.
“Kimberly, your stubbornness borders on insanity. You don’t even need the damn job. Is it the reason you never got pregnant again?”
“What?” Kimberly slapped the covers back and pushed into a sitting position.
“We tried for years to have another child, but conveniently, we never did.”
“How the heck did we get from the storm to us? You’re the one who refused to have tests done. I took them.”
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