by Aiden Bates
Eli sighed again and shuffled his feet a little. “I asked him to wait for me.”
I looked up, the movement quick. Why the hell was he telling me this?
He nodded. “Yeah, I told him I had to be married to Benji for three years, but… Shit. But then I told him if he waited, we could be together.”
I gasped. I couldn’t help it. But I still didn’t speak. I didn’t trust my voice to hold steady with my heart still hurting for Grady.
“What can I say?” His smile stretched across his face, tight and strained. “I’m actually a pretty crappy guy, apparently. But I think you already knew that, right? I don’t actually know how I fooled Gray for so long, now that I think about it. But I think you deserve to know this about our conversation, Rome.” Eli’s voice cracked but he recovered himself. “He turned me down flat.” He shook his head. “And I know how Grady felt about me. At least, I thought I did. I thought he was a sure thing.”
“Your back-up guy,” I murmured.
Eli nodded. “I guess. I was that much of a bastard that, yeah. He was my back-up guy. But do you know what he said?” A tiny smile crept onto Eli’s face like he was remembering the scene. “This is an exact quote, by the way. He said, ‘not just no, but fuck, no.’” Eli shook his head again, the gesture affectionate. “Fuck, no. I feel kind of like my little boy grew up. I mean, I feel rejected, but I get why. Do you know why, Rome?” His gaze zeroed in on mine again. “It’s because the man he’s truly in love with is you.”
His words seemed to echo inside me. They didn’t make me feel better, though. They made me feel worse. I didn’t know if I could fix things with Gray, regardless of who he loved.
Eli brushed the last remnants of snow from my parents’ graves, like his attention was elsewhere. “I shouldn’t have come between the two of you. I’m…” He cleared his throat. “I’m going to take a step back from Gray’s life because I really haven’t been a good friend to him.” He sucked in a breath then met my eyes again, a rueful smile on his face. “It looks like I need to reflect on myself and my behavior a little bit, see if I can learn to be a good friend.” His eyes gentled, and I wanted to reach out, to form a connection, to remember the Eli I’d first known at Elsdon before we became different men.
I put my hand on his shoulder, and Eli’s smile widened.
“I hope we can be friends one day, Rome. We both love Grady so we have that in common. I am truly sorry I came between the two of you. That was wrong of me. I had no right.” He chuckled, the sound tired. “No wonder Benji was fucking jealous. And it’s hard to come face-to-face with the fact you’re gliding through life as a bastard and treating people who think of you as a friend—and more—like shit.”
“Thanks, Eli.” I owed him that much for having the balls to come to me and apologize, even if I’d lost so much I wouldn’t be able to regain it. “Thanks for letting me hear those words.”
“One last thing?”
I nodded, and he smiled.
“I know Gray well enough to know he doesn’t hold grudges.” He laughed, a genuine sound this time, and a bird sitting in the tree flew off. “I should know that—I’ve tested him enough times on it over the years. So I hope you can make things right with him. I think you can if you try.”
I slept on Eli’s words and when I woke, my heart held a little more hope than it had since Gray and I argued. I wanted to get dressed and run over to the Lakeshore First Elementary, even if that meant staking it out and looking like a creeper by sitting in my car outside. Gray’s love and forgiveness were almost worth an arrest and a felony charge for hanging around an elementary school
I rolled over and groaned. I couldn’t do that, but only because Matthew had set the Hayes Financial extraordinary AGM to elect the new chairman of the board for today. So that meant I had to turn up to the office.
I grimaced. I had to fight off my unexpected competition, so that when I did go to beg for Grady’s forgiveness, I wasn’t approaching him as a broken man.
I dressed in my most expensive tailored suit and my power tie. I had to stroll into the meeting, the perfect contract of casual and success. I had to remind the board of directors that they knew me, knew my motivations and capabilities, and that they didn’t know this other pair of random nominated jokers beyond them being relatives of current board members. Which reminded me, I needed a long hard look at my board members when I became chair.
So, I had two tasks. Go in there and take the board by storm, then go sweep Gray off his feet. I had this.
I cruised into the boardroom like I already owned the space. And I just had to keep remembering I did. My name was at the top of every letterhead.
I met the other guys with pleasant smiles and a handshake of steel. I had no intention of ever letting either of them near my company again.
Introductions were done, and they gave such impassioned speeches that even I was nearly moved to vote for them. But then I returned to my senses and I just told the board how much better Hayes Financial would be under my care, how we’d maximize profits and protect against loss, how my experience as CEO and at my father’s side all uniquely qualified me to keep my promises, and I let them do the math.
Matthew called the vote, and I allowed myself the tense ten minutes of the duration of the blind ballot.
But it was an unnecessary luxury. I won.
I won and all I wanted to do was pull out my cell phone and speed-dial Gray.
Matthew pulled me into a hug as my fingers hovered over my pocket. “I knew you had it in the bag. Sorry if today was stressful, but you’ve established yourself now. Well done, Rome. Hayes Financial is back under the leadership of the right guy.” He drew away and clasped the back of my neck. “I couldn’t be prouder of you if you were Cooper.” His eyes gleamed, and I nodded.
“Thank you, Matthew. Thank you for more than I can ever list. I know I speak for my dad when I tell you how grateful we both are for everything you’ve done for me and for the company.”
“I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.”
And I knew he meant it. “Hey. Do you mind if I slip out? I have some things I really need to take care of.” I slid my cell phone from my pocket, ready to make some important calls.
Matthew smiled. “Go get that guy,” he whispered.
23
Grady
December
The day had arrived. My last day at my elementary school. And it was nothing more than a regular Friday. After I told the kids one last fart joke, I saw them all loaded onto their buses and wiped the tear from the corner of my eye as I waved them out of my life. Teaching elementary level had been a big chunk of my life, and as much as I was going to be somewhere I was meant to be, and what I’d wanted since I sat in my own university classes, it was hard to say goodbye to the little boogers.
Today, instead of being filled with workbooks and worksheets that I’d need to spend an hour grading, I’d stuffed my messenger bag with goodbye cards, various gifts and too many pictures to pin on my fridge.
I made my way down the hallway to the staffroom to say goodbye to anyone who had lingered too long at school on a Friday afternoon before a break. The custodians had already taken over the building for the evening, and it smelled like industrial cleaner and faux pine.
I pushed the door open and—
“Surprise!” Fifty voices all shouted at me at once, and I grinned as unexpected emotion rushed through me.
It was scary to leave somewhere I was valued.
Before I could get my bearings and see each face in the sea of them seemed to be looking back at me, Eli approached me. I’d been successful at avoiding him since the great fro-yo conspiracy, as Adrian had taken to calling it.
“Gray?”
I glanced at him. Hopefully one of those withering glances, intended to shoot him down where he stood, but it didn’t work. Although, something was different. Something glittered in his eyes that looked almost like humility, but that wasn’t the Eli I knew.
“Gray, I need to talk to you. Do you have a moment?”
I’d never heard him ask for something he wanted before. Not like that, at least. If he wanted something, he took it—even my time. I nodded.
“I was a shitty friend,” he started and then he stopped, looking at me. “I know, I know.” He shook his head. “I should have led with something you’d believe coming out of my mouth.”
Someone shoved a drink into my hand, and I drank it without checking the contents. Unfortunately, the machine coffee was bad on a good day, and last thing before a break, it was practically on its knees, hindered by the last dregs someone could scrape from the wholesale coffee can and a machine in desperate need of cleaning.
Eli sighed. “I know I’m a day late and a dollar short, but I need you to know that I now know that. And I hope you can one day find it in your heart to forgive me for the way I’ve treated you, because even if I didn’t deserve it, you’re the best friend I’ve ever had.”
I took Eli’s elbow and drew him to one side. The rest of the room was filled with people eating cake and discussing their plans for Christmas.
He made all sound so easy. “Even if I forgive you right now, and we put everything either of us has said or done behind us, how will Benji feel about us resuming our friendship where we left off?”
His eyes saddened and his shoulders drooped. “I’m not going through with the wedding.” He nibbled his lower lip. “The business arrangement behind it isn’t worth it.” Then he shrugged his shoulders, the movement almost carefree. “I remembered I want to marry for love, and I don’t love Benji.”
I blew out a sigh, but relief washed through me rather than disappointment. I’d known Eli too long not to be grateful he’d finally made a good decision. “I’m glad you’re not putting yourself through a loveless marriage. You’re right—it wouldn’t be worth it.” Then I met his gaze. “And I really do hope you find the person you’re meant to be with.”
“I saw Rome the other day—”
I clenched my fists as he mentioned Rome’s name. Nothing good ever came of Eli and Rome crossing paths, and I didn’t need to hear Eli talk any more shit about Rome. “We don’t need to discuss that.” We might never get back to being friends if we did.
“No.” Eli held a hand out. “I just wanted to tell you that I apologized to him, too. I shouldn’t have come between you, and he deserved to know that.”
“Oh.” I didn’t know what else to say. It seemed way too late for Eli to be saying any of this.
“Shit, Gray. Look. I was pretty envious of what the two of you had. You looked so in love, and I wanted that.” He pushed his hair off his forehead. “Hell, I still do. Only I want it with the person meant for me. And…” He paused and looked around the room before dropping his voice. “I hope you and Rome can make up because it’s pretty clear you belong together.”
Sunday night. Family dinner. I paced and looked at the clock, again. Mom should have told Adrian half an hour earlier than everyone else—then he might have been ready when I arrived to grab him.
“Adrian,” I yelled, looking around his tiny apartment. “What are you doing in there? Sewing your clothes together yourself? Growing the cotton?”
“Ha ha!” Adrian clearly wasn’t amused. “I’m trying to look my best for Mom.”
“Jesus, man. And I thought you were born looking that good.”
He ignored me. Or he just didn’t hear, but Adrian usually had a listening problem rather than a hearing one.
I sat on his scruffy sofa and looked around. Adrian always broke the mold. Most of my brothers had stayed at home while in college or university but Adrian had moved out, against Mom and Dad’s advice—which was pretty much the same as him wanting the job. I smiled in grudging admiration. He was only the baby, but he certainly got what he wanted.
Then I lay back and sighed. Adrian was dragging his feet on getting ready, and I really didn’t want to go to family dinner at all. Everything had gone wrong, and I hated sitting in front of my brothers and their perfect lives when mine wasn’t working out at all.
“Do you think anyone will notice if we give this one a miss and just hit Hot Toddy’s instead?” I called.
Adrian laughed in reply. Yeah, the change would be a fine thing. Mom would probably assemble a search party to rescue us from the clutches of hot guys dancing and too much brightly colored alcohol.
“Did you get your lesson plans redone?” Adrian appeared in the doorway between his room and the rest of his apartment.
I groaned. “Yes, thank fuck.”
Every single one of the lesson plans I’d slaved over for the university had been soundly rejected, and I’d spent the past few days worried I’d just kissed my new role goodbye.
“Have they been accepted this time?” He smoothed a hand over his shirt as he spoke like he’d spotted some wrinkle no one else could see.
“As far as I know.” I was operating on the no news was good news theory. “I hope so, anyway. Not my most auspicious of starts in a job, I guess.”
“I think they’ll get it, dude. Going from worrying about covering core math to discussing the theories behind literature is a big jump.”
“But I don’t want to be that guy. I want to hit the ground running. Competent. Confident.” I stopped. Shit. Apparently, I wanted to be Rome.
My chest tightened. I didn’t just want to be Rome, I wanted to be with him.
But I looked back at Adrian, determined to hide that desire from everyone I knew, even the brother I spent the most time with. “Now I just want to relax until the semester starts.”
Adrian was chatty on the short drive to Mom and Dad’s, and I didn’t do much but mumble the occasional encouraging reply. My head was full of thoughts of Rome and all I’d lost. Usually I enjoyed everything about family dinner night, including the familiar drive there because that had always been my way home, and it signified love and safety and comfort.
I sighed as I flipped on the blinker and slowed the car to turn into my parents’ winding driveway. It curved up the mountain to their modern design house and revealed the house slowly to anyone approaching. Dad had commissioned the house design from an architect friend, and Mom joked that next to us boys, it was his finest achievement.
I’d always thought Mom was his finest achievement, and vice versa. They complimented and challenged each other in only the best ways, and I longed for a relationship like theirs. I’d thought I was right there, actually, but… I sighed again.
I wanted Rome so badly, but I didn’t know how to come back from the whole Eli situation.
I pulled into the huge parking area in front of those house, but it was completely empty, and the house was in darkness. Each of the windows looked like gaping dark mouths.
“Was dinner canceled?” I took my keys out of the ignition as I looked at Adrian.
“No. I don’t think so. Let me call Mom and see where everyone is at.” He reached into his pocket. “Shit. I forgot my phone.” He tapped his chin thoughtfully. “Okay. Change of plans. You head inside and check that everything’s okay, and I’ll borrow your car while I get my phone.”
I looked at him. “What? Is this what every horror movie in the world cautions against? The two main characters should never split up… and the spoiled baby brother should never, ever take off in his older brother’s only mode of transportation, right?”
But Adrian already had his hand out for me to drop the keys into. “Dude, I need my phone.”
I half laughed. “Of course you do.”
“Have you got your house keys so you can get in?” He opened the car door and began to walk around to the driver’s side.
I automatically unfastened my seatbelt. Adrian had a way of getting his own way without any of us questioning it too closely.
He appeared at my door. “Come on, I won’t be long, and I’ll be right back to pick you up if we can’t find the others.”
I glanced at the upstairs windows. Somehow, I doubted they were a
ll playing hide and seek in the dark. “What am I doing again?” I muttered as I approached the front door. Then I spun around. “Wait! Hang on, Adrian, I’ll come with you.”
But he started the engine and waved at me through the closed window as he screeched down the driveway.
“Careful with my car!” I yelled, but his lights were already out of sight around one of the sweeping curves and I sighed.
I raised my hand and knocked on the door, but no one answered. Then I cupped my hands and peered through the large glass window. Nothing moved within the house, but a light flickered in the backyard—something more than Mom’s usual assortment of whimsical fairy lights.
Curiosity piqued, I headed to the side of the house so I could get to the back. The only sound was the wash of the pool water against the sides as the filter worked under the surface, but I still held my breath.
I glanced into the house, trying to see straight through, but anyone around there managed to stay annoyingly just out of sight.
As I stepped around the corner into the backyard, I released my breath in a woosh of surprise. A circle of candles glowed on the lawn, and Rome stood in the middle of them, alone. He smiled at me and held out his hand.
My heart beat wildly, and I walked towards him, slipping my hand into his, sparks of heat racing up my arm as our skin made contact.
“Hello,” he whispered into the quiet of the night and gently squeezed my hand.
“Hello,” I replied, suddenly shy.
Despite everything and the way I’d felt about him and Eli keeping things from me, Rome was all I wanted.
“Gray, I don’t know where to start,” he said. “I am so, so sorry for making you feel like you couldn’t trust me. I’ll never keep anything from you again, I promise.” He drew me against him. “I love you. I’ve loved you for a very long time—since we first met at school, and I want to love you for the rest of our lives.”