by Chelsea Hale
An uncomfortable silence filled every corner of the room. “I saw James leaving, and I wanted to talk,” she said, fidgeting with the apron strings she had tied in front.
“I don’t have anything to talk to you about. And right now, I’m focusing on my house.”
Kristi looked at what was a misshapen and poorly designed house compared to years in the past, but Kristi would have had no clue what they were making. It would be perfect when it was done.
“I really thought once you had another boyfriend you’d let this whole thing go. Are you still in love with Owen?” Kristi’s eyes narrowed.
“What a ridiculous question. Of course I’m not.” Emery's conviction was so strong, she even surprised herself. She was over wanting Owen. She didn’t want to get back together. It was a step.
Relief washed over Kristi’s face. “Then what’s the problem? Why can’t we all get along? Owen said you were all lovey-dovey with James when he came by to get the measuring cup.”
Did Owen care? Was he jealous of James? She mentally shook her head at the idea. She didn’t care what Owen thought.
“We were just kissing,” Emery said, her cheeks becoming flames across them.
Kristi laughed. “I’m happy for you, sis. I want you to be happy for me, too. Can’t we make this work? You have a boyfriend. I have a boyfriend…”
That’s what Kristi and her mom thought. If she had a boyfriend, she’d get over the hurt. So of course, she played into the idea and brought a fake boyfriend. Who was she kidding? It helped keep up appearances that she was getting over the situation, but then she realized something.
“You know, this isn’t about me finding someone new so I can get over what happened. It’s irrelevant that I’m hitting it off with James. You and Owen both hurt me. You hurt me. You’re my sister. I thought …” But she couldn’t finish the sentence. She let it hang.
Kristi opened her mouth to say something, but Emery cut her off. “This has nothing to do with if I’m over Owen and everything to do with the fact that I don’t trust you or Owen. Having a boyfriend might make the breakup pain easier, but it doesn’t change the fact that I feel betrayed by both of you.”
Kristi rubbed her palms on her apron. She spoke in a soft voice. “I’m sorry, Emery. I really am. I didn’t mean for this to happen. If I could go back and change it, I would. I want us to start over and try and earn your trust again. I’m trying.” Kristi looked like she wanted to hug Emery, but Emery bent over her gingerbread house.
“I’ve got a lot of work to do today,” Emery said finally.
“Okay, well maybe we can talk again later,” Kristi said.
“Sure,” Emery gave a half-hearted nod at Kristi and Kristi left the room.
* * *
Emery looked up when James came back into the room, making sure it was him before quoting another Star Wars line to someone else. “You missed my big line. I was in the middle of trying to construct the house by myself. And all I could think to say was—”
“Help me, Ob-wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope?” He finished the line for her, a twinkle in his eyes.
“That was supposed to be my line,” she said. “You scoundrel.”
“Hey, I’m a nice scoundrel,” he said, playing along. “At least you didn’t call me a scruffy-looking nerf herder.”
“You’re not scruffy-looking.” She couldn’t help it. She busted up laughing. “Besides, I like the five o’clock shadow at nine in the morning.”
In a matter of just a few seconds, he’d melted the stress out of her from talking with her sister.
The more she was around him the more she appreciated his calming presence. It was exactly what she needed during the Christmas season.
James surveyed the house. “Where were we?”
They were just about to talk about his previous girlfriend was where they were at, but something was bothering her, and she knew she needed to clear up the air before she asked more questions about him.
She had spent the entire five minutes while he was away, after Kristi left, thinking how much she didn’t mean what she said to him about wishing that he wasn’t here.
It had completely come out wrong. She’d only meant to say that she had wished they were actually dating each other—that she wished they weren’t pretending. That was what she had tried to say. She could tell by the look he gave her afterwards that he was hurt by her comments.
Now was as good a time as any to apologize.
“About what I said earlier,” she began, watching him squirm just like she was. Of course it was an uncomfortable position. She knew she needed to make it right, but it was probably better if she hurried through her apology. “I’m sorry. The words just came out. I didn’t mean it,” she said firmly.
His eyebrows rose. “You didn’t mean it?” His surprise caught her off guard.
“Of course I didn’t. And I should have never said it. Do you forgive me?” Nerves fired through her body, putting her on edge as she waited for his response.
He opened his mouth to speak but paused and his expression softened into a smile. “There’s nothing to forgive.”
A rush of relief filled Emery. “I just don’t want to ruin what we have between us. I mean, for this week, you know.”
“I completely understand,” he said.
“Let’s finish this Yoda house then,” she said, taking another bowl of frosting out of the fridge.
Chapter 23
James helped Emery build the rest of the gingerbread house. Thankfully the job proved more mentally taxing than he realized for Emery, and she wanted to work in quiet.
That was fine. His mind still reeled from their conversation. He was so confused and to be honest, he was more than a little disappointed too.
First, Emery had admitted that she didn’t really want to hire him to come with her. He wasn’t sure why that should affect him so much, but he was used to being wanted. He was used to having people want him to be around. So why one woman’s opinion should matter so much was beyond him.
Then, she’d told him she loved him. He should have known it was too good to be true. After all, they hadn’t really known each other long, and hello, she’d hired him to be her boyfriend, so obviously she wasn’t interested.
But his brain didn’t register that. His heart certainly didn’t either, and so when he had heard those words spoken in such a quick way he’d said them back.
Out of the corner of his eye he had seen her mom crack a slight smile at the interchange, and he knew that he couldn’t act like it was a strange thing to say. He needed to pretend like it was a perfectly natural moment. And then he realized something. It felt like a perfectly natural moment. He wasn’t pretending when he kissed her forehead. He hadn’t been pretending before. He was just realizing it.
Just as quickly she’d taken the words back. She didn’t love him. She had just told him that because her mom was in the room, but she didn’t mean what she’d said. She was being honest and upfront with him about her feelings. He should be grateful for that, but he wasn’t. It felt like a low blow.
James shook his head. Now, without other people in the room, she wanted to concentrate and focus on the task at hand. She didn’t want to have a conversation with him, and the air felt as thick as the frosting he was unsuccessfully spreading over the gingerbread structure.
* * *
James arranged the pillow and his blanket when Emery came out of the bathroom in her pajamas. She looked adorable in her pink pajamas, with her hair pinned on the top of her head.
She looked at James and quickly diverted her gaze to the floor. “Are you sure you’re all right on the floor? I can take a turn. I don’t mind.”
He appreciated the offer, but there was no way that he would switch places with her. “I’m okay.”
“Okay, well keep me posted. I don’t want you super uncomfortable down there and regretting you ever agreed to this.” She climbed into her bed, pulling the sheets over top of her.
He laid down, situating himself and getting comfortable. He had wanted to ask her about her feelings, her real feelings about him especially after she’d said, ‘I love you,’ but once she took it back, he wasn’t sure how to bring it up again. And there wouldn’t be much of a point to bringing it up either, would there?
“My sister talked to me today.”
That was news to him. “When?” he asked.
“When you stepped out to take your phone call. I wonder if she was waiting by the door to find a time when she could talk to me.” Emery sighed.
James turned over to face Emery in the dark, propping his elbow on the ground and leaning his head into his hand. “What did she say?”
“Mostly that she wants to be friends again, and she figured that now that I have a boyfriend that should make things easier between us.”
“And does it?” He tried to keep the curiosity out of his voice. He really wanted to know.
She blew out a breath. “I suppose it should, right? Because on the outside, that’s what dating you means—that I’m over my ex.”
James digested the words. Obviously Kristi would think that. It was one of the reasons why Emery had hired him in the first place. It shouldn’t be surprising that the conversation would go that way. But Kristi didn’t know that they were faking this relationship for that exact reason. But would it be enough?
Would Emery be able to get over Owen or was it just something that looked good on the outside but wouldn’t heal Emery on the inside. He hadn’t thought of that before. She’d been so focused on the external part of their fake relationship, but was it fixing any of her internal problems about the whole situation? He wanted to help her.
“But it’s not, is it,” he said the words quietly.
“Not really, but I figured out something today.”
“Want to tell me about it?”
“I realized that this whole thing isn’t about me getting over my ex, it’s about me coming to terms with their betrayal. That’s harder to do. This isn’t about whether I’m over Owen or not, or whether I have a boyfriend with me or not … this is about the betrayal side of things, not about getting over him.”
“Are you over him?” he asked, not sure why he wanted the clarification. He already knew the answer, didn’t he?
She was silent so long, he wondered if maybe she’d fallen asleep.
“Yes,” she finally whispered. “I’m over him. But I’m still bugged every time I see them. It just reminds me of the pain I was in … am in. She’s my sister. He was my boyfriend. And it all still stings.”
“I wish I could make the situation better. It’s all just rotten.”
“You are making it better. Just you being here is making it better. I just don’t know what to do when she wants to talk to me.”
“Be polite and it will get better.”
“You’re right. Thanks, James.”
“You’re welcome.” He laid awake staring around the black ceiling.
She shuffled around on her bed. A few minutes later she said, “James, are you still awake?”
“Yes.”
“Is now a good time to tell me about all of those broken hearts you create?” Her voice sounded smaller, quieter. Was she shy about asking the question? Did she really want to know?
Would opening up to her right now be a good idea? She was obviously looking for something in the midst of her turmoil about her sister and her ex. Would his stories help her or just make things worse? He decided to brave it.
“What do you want to know?”
“What happened?”
“With the last one? We weren’t seeing eye to eye.”
“I’m baffled as to why that would be. You’re easy going and fun to be around.”
She was just stroking his ego. She wouldn’t do that if she knew how rich he was. Actually, she probably wouldn’t care one way or the other about it, and that thought made him like her even more.
“I want somebody who likes me for me, and not what they can get from me. I don’t like people who pretend to like me.” His last two girlfriends pretended to be interested in him, but only cared for his money. But he couldn’t say that to Emery. Not yet.
“Oh. Right. Well, that’s a good reason,” she said.
She didn’t say more, and James wondered what had stopped the conversation so quickly.
“I didn’t mean you pretending,” he said. “I meant people pretending they like certain things to impress me.”
“Oh, like they pretend to like Star Wars or something?”
“Right, something more along those lines.”
“You’re a puzzle, James,” she said softly.
Was he a puzzle she wanted to figure out? “Am I?” He wasn’t trying to be. Was it so unrealistic to think someone could love him the person before they start loving his money and investments? It wasn’t too much to ask, was it?
“Yes, you are. You don’t want to people to pretend, and yet, at the drop of a hat, you’re willing to pretend for me. I’m using you to solve my own problems while you’re being my boyfriend for a week.”
He wished it would be longer than a week. “This is totally different. This is helping out a friend.”
“Are we friends?”
“I think so.” He wished they were more, but he could settle for friends at the moment.
“You’re good at pretending to be my boyfriend,” she said.
“I’m still being me while we’re pretending to be together. I’m not changing who I am.”
“Is that so? Nothing you’ve said was out of character for you?” There was nothing but curiosity in her tone.
He shook his head in the dark though she couldn’t see it. Was he admitting too much? “I’m just being me,” he said finally aloud.
In fact, for the first time in a long time, he was being just him. He didn’t have to put on airs or use his connections or his wealth in this situation. He could let all of that go and just be him. The thought was so freeing, that for a moment he considered telling her everything.
“That’s refreshing and a quality not many I’ve dated have had.” Her lilting tone sounded musical in the darkness.
“You mean the guys you’ve dated pretend they like Star Wars and they really have no clue at the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.”
Emery laughed. “Or they just tell me what I want to hear when I want to hear it. They want to impress me by knowing things and people and places. You’re not so much worried about that.”
“Well, not that this will help my case, but you’re the one who initiated all of this, so I figure if you don’t like something, that’s not too much of my fault.”
She laughed. “But you’ve been perfect with my family, and you’ve focused on the things we have in common. I mean, I’m sure there are things that we aren’t compatible on, but I haven’t found them yet. Really. How are you still available?”
The question struck him and not for the first time. Was it really the fact that he felt used by women or was he always looking for a reason not to continue in a relationship?
“I suppose I just haven’t found the right woman yet.”
Emery yawned in the darkness. “Whoever she is, she doesn’t know it yet, but she will be one lucky woman to finally win your heart.”
“You’re nice to say it.”
“I’m serious.”
“And why haven’t you found your match yet?”
“Maybe I work too much,” she said in a joking tone.
“Or maybe you’re just as scared as I am that your whole world will be different if you meet someone you can rely on and trust and love.”
She exhaled. “Wow. Or maybe that. Or maybe I’m scared that every time I think I find the right one they break my heart and I’m left to pick up the pieces for it to happen all over again.”
“For the record, I don’t think Owen was ever the right one for you.”
“No? What makes you think so?”
“You have a spark—
lots of spunk and life. He is much too mellow for you. You would have been drained by him. You need someone who can keep up with your excitement about the world.” Someone more like me, he thought before letting the thought disappear into the darkness.
“That’s insightful.” She paused a long time, before finally saying, “Maybe that’s what I’ve been missing.”
Maybe it’s what we’ve both been missing, he thought as he drifted off to sleep.
Chapter 24
“This week is going by fast,” Emery commented, as she and James drove together to the soup kitchen. Too fast, in some ways. Was it crazy that she wanted to slow time down a little and enjoy more moments with James?
The next two days flew by. Between preparations for the Christmas Eve auction and helping with other volunteer projects, James and Emery stayed busy, with barely any alone time during the day.
“It will be over soon, you’re doing great.”
She nodded. If he was referring to time with her family, that was exactly what he should say, and it would be over soon. But it also meant that time with him was coming to an end. Every night they’d talked for what seemed like hours. They laughed and joked together until her side had hurt from laughing to hard. She was going to miss that.
It was already Christmas Eve morning.
Emery groaned at the volunteer assignments when they arrived at the soup kitchen.
She and Kristi had always been assigned to the same food table and this year was no exception. Emery had hoped that her mom would put the couples together so she’d be with James, but her mom was one for traditions.
Emery looked over at James on the other side of the room.
He smiled at her. It was the kind of smile that would make her go weak in the knees whether they were pretending or not. He really was exactly the kind of distraction she needed, and she was grateful he’d come.
“You two just can’t be separated, can you?” Kristi asked, scooping mashed potatoes onto the next plate.
“What do you mean?” Emery asked.
“I’ve watched you for the last ten minutes. If there is a lull in the line you find it and you’re swooning over him.”