by Kip Nelson
“You, of course, are welcome to stay as long as you like, although part of the reason I brought you up here was to have a little chat with you. I can tell you are men of good intentions, since you were willing to help Miranda, but I have my patients to think about. I can't jeopardize their safety, so I'm going to have to ask you to surrender your weapons. Now, this isn't a reflection on you, but you've already seen what can happen when you least expect it. So, if you don't mind, I'd like to put your weapons in a safe place,” he said with an amiable smile.
Surrendering their weapons was the last thing either Mack or Luis wanted to do, but they had little choice as the argument presented to them by Gary was logical. The only other choice would have been to bid farewell and leave Miranda to whatever fate awaited her. Mack wasn't ready to make that decision yet, so it was with a heavy heart that they placed their guns on the table.
“Thank you,” Gary said, “I know it's not that easy. I'm sure the world is unkind and I dread to think what you've been through, but like I say I have to keep the safety of my patients in mind. When you decide to leave, I'll be happy to return them to you. I must say, it's good to see some new faces, though. Please, tell me what you've been through. I'm eager to hear any news about the world,” he said, leaning forward and looking intrigued, ignoring the guns on the table for the moment.
“I'm sure hearing about it all just would depress you. You don't want to know about some of the stuff we've seen. There are bad people out there and they're trying to use fear to rule over people. We were captured by one particularly bad man who had established a camp and intimidated other people into offering supplies as tribute for him,” Mack said.
“And by the fact that you're here either you escaped or you caused the downfall of this man?” Gary said.
“We managed to deal with him,” Mack said, making it clear he wasn't someone to be trifled with, and that he was ready and able to defend himself if necessary. If Miranda had been right, then Mack hoped to at least give Gary second thoughts about trying to keep them against their will.
“But don't get me wrong, there are good people out there as well. We were taken in by a nice family on a farm, and there have been others who have shown us kindness. I like to think that's the way the world will go. If we all work together we can make it through this.”
“A good sentiment, and you'll find nothing but friendliness here.”
“I'm a little surprised you haven't had anyone else coming up here,” Mack said.
“We are out of the way. I suppose it depends how many people are trying to leave the city. They could be on their way here now, for all we know. But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. There's no use in worrying about things like that. There's so much in this world that is unpredictable, we might as well just take things as they come. Were you coming this way anyway, or are you only here because you came across Miranda?”
“Because of Miranda. We had heard that the place existed, but we were on our way to the city and didn't want to take a detour if we could help it.”
“Mmm, well, it is certainly sad to know that the world has fallen. It strikes me that sometimes we take so many things for granted, and yet, anything can change from one moment to the next. Still, all we can do is try our best. Now, while you stay here you are, of course, our guests, but there are certain restrictions in place, for your own safety and that of our patients. You should try staying in places with the orderlies as they are trained to handle our patients. The dangerous ones are locked up, but even so, the other patients still can be...unpredictable. The gardens are particularly nice this time of year. So I would suggest you take a walk around them tomorrow.
In the meantime, there is a small ward just through those doors and you are welcome to use that as your rooms. The beds already are made. We do have water and a little food. We try to keep to a shift schedule to try keeping things consistent. So there should be someone around to help you find your way. Once again, thank you for bringing Miranda back to us, and I'm sure we can talk more tomorrow. I have many more questions for you, but now I had better go check on the patients before I turn in,” he said. With that he rose and shook their hands firmly, and then left the two of them in the room.
“What do you make of this?” Luis asked.
“I don't know,” Mack said, “I just don't know.”
“I noticed you didn't tell him about Saul and Grace.”
Mack walked toward the window, but again he could not see much in the darkness outside. “No, I didn't want to lose what little advantage we have. He seems to be telling the truth, but I don't know that I trust him yet.”
“I hate to think of Miranda, if she is telling the truth. To be honest, I don't know what to believe.”
“I did notice you were keeping quiet,” Mack said, turning to face Luis.
“I was trying to observe, to see if there was anything that jumped out at me, but there was nothing. Even taking away our guns was completely reasonable given where we are, and he seemed to really care about the patients here.”
“Mmm,” Mack said, “but if he is playing a role the mask will slip. If not from him, then from somebody else. So, we must remain vigilant and act at the first sign of trouble. We could be in a lot of danger here and we don't even know it.”
“I do wonder what would have happened if we had asked to be let go. Do you think he would have allowed us to leave?”
“I don't know,” Mack said honestly.
“I wish we could get some sort of word out to Saul and Grace. They must be wondering what's happened to us. If they think something's wrong, they might try to come in here.”
“No, I told Grace to leave if she thought we were in danger.”
“Do you really think the two of them are going to listen to your orders? I don't think either of them are built for that,” Luis said. Mack laughed.
“Maybe you're right,” he replied. “But either way, for now I think we should do what the good doctor said. If we act suspiciously, he might think there's something wrong and I don't want to tip him off. Let's get to bed and we can investigate more in the morning.”
With that they walked through the common room and nodded to a couple of orderlies before reaching their ward. They climbed into the cold beds, although sleep didn't come easily for either of them, especially not for Mack, who had a lot on his mind. He couldn't stop thinking of the look that Miranda had given him, and hoped he would not come to regret his actions. He also thought of Saul and Grace, who were out in the cold night, waiting for some sign that was not going to come.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
OUTSIDE, the air was thick and the night was heavy. The Archer Institute was a looming tower full of danger and the unknown. The forests that surrounded Saul and Grace were pitch black, and the moonlight did little to illuminate the world. They both sat on the ground with their backs leaning against the small wall just by the gate that led into the property. It seemed as though they had been there for a long time, but since neither of them had watches they couldn't tell exactly how long.
Indeed, the entire concept of timekeeping was another thing that had been lost. They were no more tied to a schedule than the animals or birds of the world. They rested when they were tired, ate when they were hungry, and drank when they were thirsty. The days blended endlessly together. Grace had lost track of the days and weeks a long time ago, and it struck her how strange keeping track of time seemed when, in this world, it didn't really matter. All that mattered was seeing a new day.
Like Mack, finding the remnant of that kayak in the river meant that death was playing on her mind. While being a hacker she never really had thought of death as she was so detached from the world, and so young, that it seemed like an abstract concept. It was something that happened to other people, and would inevitably happen to herself someday, but only to the future version of herself, so she need not have worried about it. But after careening down from the sky in a plane crash and seeing everyone apart from Mack perish
around her, to the constant reminders since then that it only took a moment to die, she couldn't stop thinking about how quickly it was possible to lose your life, and the vast emptiness of the universe was upon her.
“They're taking their sweet time,” Saul grumbled, not for the first time. When Grace didn't respond, he looked at her. “Gone shy on me?” he added.
“Hmmm? No, sorry, I was just distracted,” she said, and turned to face him. They were sitting close together, so they just about could make out each other’s faces in the dim light.
“Yeah, I'm kinda worried about them,” she added, craning her neck toward the building. “I mean, there hasn't been any gunfire or other commotion, so they can't be in that much trouble...”
“But the fact we haven't heard anything at all is not good.”
“Yeah,” Grace replied, and both had a worried look on their face, “what do you think we should do?”
“Mack didn't want us going in, and it's not going to do them any good if they're working on a plan and we barge in there and mess things up.”
“But I hate the thought of him being in trouble and we're just sitting out here, doing nothing. I feel so useless. One thing's for sure, I'm not going to leave them in there if they need our help. I don't care what he said, we're not just leaving them behind.”
“Are you sure about that? You know he doesn't like people going against his orders,” Saul said with a sly smile.
“Yeah, well, I may not be a hacker anymore, but I still have my sense of what's right and I can't just leave my friends there. Don't tell me you'd actually walk away?” she said, an incensed look on her face.
“I'm not that bad. So, what were you thinking about?”
“Nothing really...” she said, intending not to talk about it at all, but Saul didn't say anything else, and the silence hung between them like a sheet of glass that needed to be broken.
Eventually she sighed. “I was just thinking about how hopeless this all seems. I mean, I never really had a solid outlook on life, but at least I felt like I was accomplishing something. Now I look around at the world and I don't really see anything waiting for me. I mean, is survival really the only thing we have to strive for? Shouldn't there be something more?”
“What else is there?”
“I don't know...I mean, Mack is searching for his wife, I guess, but the rest of us? What are we really doing? I guess it all just seems empty.”
“You're too young to be getting so depressed.”
“Got any words of wisdom for me old-timer?” she said teasingly.
“Only that I wasted most of my life feeling like I was less than everyone else, that I had made the wrong decisions, and chosen the wrong path to walk down. Now none of that matters. Maybe none of it ever did. What if all this time people deluded themselves into creating some meaning when there never was anything? Maybe we've all just been running around this planet like headless chickens.”
“I'm not sure I like the sound of that. I just...I keep thinking about everyone who has died, and for what? I guess I just don't know how I'm supposed to be feeling.” She spoke in a morose tone and hung her head. Saul looked at her with pity.
“I kinda wish that Mack was here instead of me because I'm sure he'd be able to tell you something more inspirational, but all I can tell you is I've reached this point of my life and I still don't know how I'm supposed to be feeling. When I was younger, I always looked at adults and figured they had it all worked out, but the more years that have passed the more confused I've become. So, a while ago, I stopped trying to figure it out, and I just decided to live my life the way I wanted. Maybe some will say I've been selfish, and I sure as hell haven't been a saint, or been the best example of what humanity should be, but I didn't want to go down with any regrets. Sometimes I think we spend too much time thinking, if that makes sense, too much time trying to understand why we're here. In the end, we forget we are here and we end up not doing much of anything,” he said. Although in his opinion it wasn't much in the way of insight, it actually helped Grace a great deal.
She looked into the darkness and pondered his words as they lingered on her mind, for she was starting to become an adult. From a young age, she had felt different from other people, and thus had sought the life of an outlaw, living on the fringes of society with as little interaction and attachment to humanity as possible. Now that she had been thrust into this new world, she saw she eventually would have to change and become something else, someone else, but who that person was going to be still was undecided. The process of transformation was one that she still had to try willfully surrendering to, even though her most basic instincts told her to fight.
As she sat beside Saul, she reflected on the differences between him and Mack. He was slightly older, and yet Mack seemed more in control of any given situation, and although Saul seemed reluctant to take on any kind of responsibility, Grace remembered how he had been when the two of them had faced Saul's brother, and how Saul had prevented Grace from killing him. He had shown moments where he could be as inspirational as Mack, but he seemed always to want to bring himself down and ignore those moments of heroism, instead preferring to punish himself. Perhaps after the life he had led, it was easier to pass on responsibility to someone else and wallow in a state of comfortable self-pity.
Grace could empathize with Saul in this as she, too, had felt it easy to push away the necessary acts of living, in her old life at least. There, she had been all too happy to sit in her apartment for days, sometimes weeks on end, surviving on only the most basic diet, shying away from anything that would give her life meaning in the traditional sense. But now, to her surprise, she actually was relishing the new attitude she was displaying, and not only was learning a lot about those around her, but also herself. Embarking on this journey of self-discovery was both exciting and frightening as she had no idea where it would lead. It certainly was not turning out the way she had expected her future to be.
When she had been caught by the United States government, she had expected a life of imprisonment. Yet, even if she hadn't been caught, she only saw herself living in a matrix of ones and zeroes on the periphery of society, only indulging in the briefest moments of humanity before staying in her lonely, isolated sanctuary of self-imposed solitude, because that was easier than opening herself up to feelings. The world had turned its back on her a long time ago, so who was she to try forcing herself upon it? But now she had been thrust into the open world as one of the unfortunate few who were faced with rebuilding the human race, no matter how long it would take, or how arduous it would be.
On her young shoulders stood the weight of a civilization, and the future of all those who would follow her. However, it was a task of such magnitude that she was not fully cognizant of all the ramifications. As a result, it was an abstract concept that lurked like a shadow in the recesses of her mind. Yet it was there all the same, and only grew in strength as the days went by. She longed for the simplicity of her old life, in which she at least could be certain of her purpose from day to day and her role, and wasn't floating in this world lacking in both structure and form and everything that she had relied on before.
While they were waiting for any sign from inside the institute, Grace had a lot of time for contemplation. An array of thoughts careened through her mind, twisting and churning like a mighty wave. It was a sharp contrast to the still night that lay around them. It was quiet, almost too quiet. In every shadow Grace swore she saw some kind of movement, and in every slight rustle she was sure she heard a menacing whisper. Yet, when she peered harder or strained her ears that little bit more, she realized her mind was playing tricks on her. She found herself once again wishing that Mack and Luis would return soon and everything would be fine, and they could resume their journey to the city. And yet, there was a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, a small knot that made her feel nauseous, that told her something was very wrong.
“Did you hear that?” Saul said in a whisper s
o low that it startled Grace and made her heart leap.
She rolled her eyes, having been so deep in thought that she had lost track of her perception. Saul glanced out and put a finger to his lips. Grace listened quietly, but the only sounds she could hear were those of her own breathing and her heart thumping in her chest. Saul slowly raised a hand and pointed to Grace's left. Turning her head slightly, she moved her eyes and stifled a gasp as she saw the moonlight reflecting off a pair of unblinking eyes. Her heart rate increased and she had to focus on her breathing to try controlling it. She tried following Mack’s example, for he always sought to communicate first and help people wherever he could. He had taught Grace to try not to listen to an initial reaction of fear, but to move beyond that and trust that the other party was willing to reciprocate.
“Hello? Are you okay? I'm Grace,” she said softly, her words barely audible, and yet they seemed as loud as a thunderbolt as they brought down the night’s silence.
Whoever the eyes belonged to did not reply to Grace. In a swift movement, the unknown entity had turned and was retreating quickly. In an instant Grace instinctively was chasing after it, while Saul looked back toward the building and cursed, wanting to help Grace but aware that he shouldn't leave his position in case there was a signal from Mack. After a quick internal debate, he decided he didn't want to lose Grace either, and he was all too aware this could be some kind of trap. They already had split up the group. The last thing they needed was to be split up again. So Saul was giving chase as well, whispering harshly to try getting Grace's attention.
Behind her, Grace heard Saul trying to catch up, and in her current state of concentrating on following this mystery person she forgot it was dark and waved him away, not realizing he would not have been able to see the gesture. As it was Saul caught up and she had to whisper to him harshly to quiet down as she didn't want to do anything to scare away whatever was running away from them. She had chased the figure around the fence and down the road a little before it had dived into the forest. Just when Grace thought she had lost him, she saw the eyes blinking at her again. They were in an area where the moonlight broke through the trees, and in the faded light Grace saw a small man in a hunched, defensive posture. It was difficult to make out too many details given the extent of the darkness, but he seemed to be in a state quite similar to that in which they had found Miranda; feral and wild. He also had a childlike expression on his face, and plainly was terrified. Grace knew she had to be delicate, so she spoke gently and clearly, hoping he was able to understand her.