As Tamara came to know Noel's mother, she came to love her almost as her own, and it was at Christmas, when Noel decided to announce their engagement, that Ariana gave Tammy the gift that so deeply touched her heart. Noel already knew what was coming and for an instant the mother and son exchanged a secret smile as slowly Tammy unwrapped the bright paper, and then suddenly the brilliant ring fell into her hand. It was the signet ring set in diamonds, which had been Kassandra's so many years before.
Oh, my God ' oh ' oh, no! She looked around her in amazement, first at Noel, then at Ariana standing by, and then at Max smiling broadly, and then, reaching blindly for Noel, she began to cry.
It's your engagement ring, my darling. Mother had it sized for you. Come on, let's try it on. But as she slipped it on her finger, all she did was cry more. She knew the history of that diamond ring so well now ' and now the ring that had been worn by four generations before her was hers. It fit perfectly on the third finger of her left hand, and it sat there, beautifully wrought and skillfully woven, the diamonds sparkling brilliantly as she stared.
Oh, Ariana, thank you. But holding Noel's mother tightly only brought fresh tears.
It's all right, darling. It's all right. It's yours now. May it bring you much joy, Ariana looked at the girl gently; she had been completely won over. And now she had decided to take matters into her own hands.
Three days after Christmas, with trembling hands, she looked up the number and dialed the phone. She identified herself only as Mrs. Thomas, got an appointment, and the next day quietly took a cab downtown. She said nothing to Max or Noel; she didn't feel they had to know, but it was time that, lo these many years later, she faced him, and also time that he faced her.
The secretary announced her, and Ariana, wearing a black dress and a dark mink coat, walked sedately into the room. On her hand she wore only her large emerald now. The diamond signet was Tamara's.
Mrs. Thomas? But as Paul Liebman stood to greet her, he opened his eyes wide with shock. Even in his surprise it flashed through his mind how little she had changed, even in almost thirty years.
Hello, Paul. She stood there bravely and waited for him to ask her to sit down. I thought that I should come to see you. About our children. May I sit down? He waved her into a chair and then, still staring, sat down himself. I believe my son has already been to see you once.
It served no purpose. His face hardened still more. And your visit will be useless, too.
Perhaps. But the point, I think, is not how we feel, but how our children feel. At first I felt the same way you did. I was violently opposed to their getting together. But the fact is that whether or not we like it that's what they want.
And may I ask why you'd have any objection?
Because I assume you're bitter about me and equally so about Noel. And then she paused and her voice was softer when she went on. What I did was terribly, terribly wrong. Afterward I understood that, but in the desperation of the moment, wanting the right things for the baby ' the things you could have given him, and I couldn't ' what can I say to you, Paul? I was wrong.
He sat looking at her for a long, long time. Did you have other children, Ariana?
She shook her head with a small smile. No, And I never remarried until last year.
Not because you pined for me, I might assume. But there was less anger in his voice now and the hint of an old warmth in his eyes.
She sighed briefly. No, because I knew that I had been married, that I had cast my lot for good or bad with what happened. I had my son, and I never wanted to marry again.
Who changed your mind?
An old friend. I gather though that you remarried very quickly.
He nodded. As soon as the divorce became final. She was a girl I had gone to school with. And then he sighed across his desk, across his lifetime, at Ariana. In the end, those are the best kind. And that is why I've been so opposed to Tamara and your boy. Not so much because he's your son. He sighed again. He's a fine boy, Ariana. A good man. He had the courage to come here to see me, to tell me the whole story. I respect that in a man. And then he growled softly. It was more than Tamara had the decency to do. But the real issue here is not whether or not you and I were married, but what kind of people they are. Look at what he comes from, at his heritage. Look at your family, Ariana, what I know of it now. And we're Jewish. Can you really justify joining the two?
If they can. I don't think it really matters if I'm a German and you're a Jew. Maybe that only mattered so much then, after the war. I'd like to think that now it doesn't matter quite so much.
But Paul Liebman shook his head with determination. It still does. Those things will never change, Ariana. Long after you and I are gone, those things will go on.
Won't you at least give them a chance?
To do what? Convince me that I'm wrong? So that they can quickly have three children and then come back five years from now to tell me they're getting a divorce because I was right and it didn't work out?
Do you really think you can prevent that?
Maybe.
And what of the next man? And the one after that? Don't you realize that she'll do what she wants anyway? No matter what. She'll marry whom she pleases, lead her life, go her own way. She's been living with Noel for a year now, no matter how you feel about it. The only one who will lose in the end is you, Paul. Maybe it's time you ended that war between us and took another look at this generation. My son doesn't even want to be a German. And maybe your daughter doesn't want to carry any more banners that proclaim her a Jew.
What does she want to be, then?
A person, a woman, a lawyer. They have ideas these days that I don't really understand. They're a lot more independent and free-thinking. She smiled at him slowly. Maybe they're right My son tells me that the war we talk about is our war, not theirs. To them, it's only history. I guess to us, sometimes, it's still real.
I looked at him, Ariana, his voice dropped painfully low "and I still saw those pictures that you held that day. I could imagine him in a uniform ' A Nazi uniform like his father's ' He squeezed his eyes tightly shut, and then he looked at her bleakly. He looks just like him, doesn't he?
She smiled gently and nodded. But Tamara doesn't look very much like you. There was nothing else she could say to him, but at least he smiled.
I know, she looks just like her mother. Her sister looks like Julia though ' and my boy ' He said it so proudly. ' he looks like me.
I'm glad. And then after a long, empty silence, Have you been happy?
He nodded slowly. And you? I wondered about you sometimes, what had happened, where you'd gone. I wanted to reach out and just let you know that I was still thinking of you, but I was afraid to
Why?
I was afraid to seem a fool. At first I was so hurt. I thought you'd just laughed at me all along. It was my mother who eventually understood it. She knew you'd done it for the baby, and she suspected that perhaps you loved me, too. At the mention of his mother, Ariana's eyes filled slowly with tears.
I did love you, Paul.
He nodded slowly. After she thought it over, she knew. And then they sat there for an instant, united after so long. What do we do now, Ariana, about our children?
We let them do what they have to. And we accept.
She smiled and stood up hesitantly, holding out a hand. But he didn't take her hand, he walked slowly around his desk and for an instant took her in his arms.
For what happened so long ago, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't big enough to understand it or let you explain.
It was the way it had to be, Paul. He shrugged and nodded, and then she kissed his cheek and left him with his own thoughts, staring out at the Wall Street view.
Chapter 50
The wedding was scheduled for the following summer, after Tamara had duly finished law school, and the two looked around for an apartment, picked out what they wanted, and Tamara landed a job that was to begin in the fall. But first we're going to Europe!
She had announced it to Ariana and Max with a happy smile.
Where to? Max looked at her with interest.
Paris, the Riviera, Italy, and then Noel wants to take me to Berlin. But this time there was no shadow in Ariana's eyes.
It's a beautiful city. At least it was. But she had seen Noel's pictures from his trip two years before, and she cherished the photograph of the house in Grunewald now she no longer had to strain to remember some fading detail. She could simply look at the photograph and see it all. He had even given her photographs of the schloss she'd heard about from Manfred and never seen. How long will you two be gone?
About a month. Tammy sighed happily. This is my last free summer, and Noel really had to fight to get four weeks off.
What will you be doing on the Riviera?
Stopping by to see a girl I knew from school. They had decided to visit Brigitte. But first Tammy grinned at Ariana we have to survive the wedding.
It's going to be lovely. For months now Ariana had listened to the plans. At last Paul had softened, and he had to admit that he liked Noel, and they had begun to plan the wedding in February, for June.
When at last the day came, Tamara looked overwhelmingly beautiful in a dress made entirely of cream-colored satin and covered by an overdress of priceless Chantilly lace. The cap she wore over her dark hair covered all but her chignon with the flawless lace, and the clouds of veil that floated around her created even more of an impression of ethereal splendor. Even Ariana was impressed.
My God, Max, she looks gorgeous.
Of course she does. He smiled at his own wife proudly. But so does Noel. In his cutaway and striped trousers, he looked more elegant than ever, with the brilliant blue eyes and shaft of blond hair. Ariana had to admit, as she smiled to herself, that he did look very German, but somehow even that didn't seem to matter anymore. Paul Liebman was smiling at the young couple benignly, having disbursed fortunes on the wedding of his wife's somewhat extravagant dreams. Ariana had finally met her, a pleasant woman who had probably been a good wife to him over the years.
Debbie was married to a Hollywood producer. Julia was the loveliest and had the most spirit, and her children looked as though they were both intelligent and fun. But the two women only spoke to Ariana briefly.
They had been too deeply wounded by the past. For all of them, Ariana had ceased existing the day that Paul had left her.
Paul glanced at her once or twice during the wedding, and once, for a long moment, their eyes held, and for the first time in a long time she remembered him with love. And as she stood there, she felt a pang of sorrow over the loss of Ruth and Sam.
Well, Mrs. Tripp, we made it. Noel grinned at Tammy and she nuzzled his neck with her soft lips.
I love you, Noel.
So do I, but if you do a lot of that here ' I'm going to start our honeymoon right here on the plane. She smiled coyly at her husband and retreated to her seat with a happy sigh. She glanced at the large, handsome diamond signet on her finger. She would never get over Ariana's giving it to her as her engagement ring. She had truly come to love Noel's mother, and she knew that Ariana loved her, too.
I want to buy your mother something gorgeous in Paris, Noel.
Like what? He smiled at her over his book. The nice thing about having lived together for almost two years was that it had taken the frenzy out of finally being married at last. They were comfortable with each other, and they both felt at home together wherever they were. So what do you want to buy her?
I don't know. Something exciting. Like a painting or a Dior dress.
Good God, that is exciting. How come? She flashed her ring at him in answer and he smiled.
As a gift from Tamm's father, they stayed at the Plaza-Ath+!n+!e in an elaborate suite. They went downstairs after their first candlelit honeymoon dinner in their rooms, to meet Brigitte at the famous bar. When they got there, the Relais Plaza was jammed with exotic-looking people, men in open shirts with chests covered with neck chains, and women in long slashes of red satin pants or little mink jackets with jeans.
Tammy barely recognized the girl she'd known at Radcliffe. Her face was white, her lips were rouged, and her blond hair had been frizzed out wildly on either side; but the blue eyes still danced as mischievously as ever, and she was enchantingly tiny, and wearing a full tuxedo and a black satin top hat with only a red satin bra.
My dear, I had no idea you'd gotten so conservative. All three of them grinned. Brigitte Goddard had become even more outrageous than before.
You know, Noel, you've gotten better looking too. She grinned mischievously and Tammy laughed.
Too late, you two, we're married, remember? Sorry, guys ' But Noel looked at her warmly and Brigitte only laughed.
He's too tall for me anyway. Not my type.
Watch out, he's sensitive. Tammy put her finger to her lips and the three laughed again. Together they enjoyed a pleasant evening, and for the next week Brigitte took them from one end of Paris to the other, from lunch at Fouquet's to dinner at the Brasserie Lipp in the Latin Quarter, to dancing at Castel's and Chez Regine, then on to the Halles for breakfast, and off to dinner at Maxim's the next day. And on and on and on it went, from bars to restaurants to parties, where everyone knew her and she knew everyone and men practically begged her for attention as she jumped from one crazy costume to another and Tammy and Noel stared in frank admiration.
Isn't she divine? Tammy whispered it to Noel as they wandered through the boutique at Courr+?ges.
Yes, and a little crazy. I think I like you better, kid.
That's good news.
I'm not looking forward to meeting her family.
Oh, they're all right.
I don't want to stay with them forever. Two days and that's it, Tammy. I want to be alone with you for a while. This is our honeymoon, after all. He looked at her petulantly and she kissed him and laughed.
I'm sorry, darling.
Don't be. Just promise me, no more than two days with them on the Riviera and then we go on to Italy. Got that?
Yes, sir. She saluted smartly, and Brigitte returned to them to drag them on to Balmain, Givenchy, and Dior.
At Dior, Tammy found exactly what she wanted for Ariana, a delicate mauve silk cocktail dress that she knew would look incredible with Ariana's huge blue eyes. It had a matching scarf, and Tammy threw in a pair of earrings. The whole shebang cost her over four hundred dollars and Noel almost gasped. I'll be employed by September, Noel. Don't look like that.
You'd better be if you plan to buy those kinds of presents. But they both knew that this was special. It was Tammy's way of saying thank you for the ring. Brigitte had noticed it almost immediately when she'd met them that first night at the Plaza; she had ogled it and then admitted to Tammy that she couldn't take her eyes off her hand. Apparently her father's gallery now had a section just for antique jewelry, but they had nothing as remarkable as Tamara's new ring.
On the last afternoon before they left Paris, Brigitte took them to the Galerie G+!rard Goddard on the Faubourg-St.-Honor+!, and they wandered around it in wonder for more than an hour, admiring the Renoirs, the Picassos, the Faberg+! boxes, the priceless antique diamond bracelets, the little busts and statues. It really was extraordinary. Noel looked at Brigitte with sheer delight and pleasure as they left.
It's like a tiny museum, only better.
She nodded proudly. Papa has some nice things. It was rather a severe underestimation, and behind her Noel and Tammy smiled. It had been why her father had sent her to Radcliffe, hoping she would get a solid background in history and art, but Brigitte had other leanings, like football games and parties, med students, and grass. And at the end of two years of disaster, her father had brought her home to amuse herself more simply in France. At the moment she was talking vaguely about studying photography or making a film, but it was obvious that she had no burning ambitions, yet she was really a lot of fun. She was kind of a sprite that ran off madly in all directions, always amus
ing, but never lighting anywhere for very long. There was a restlessness about her that was rapidly becoming the mal du si+?cle.
The odd thing about her is that she never seems to grow up, Tammy mused about her as Noel shrugged.
I know. But some people just don't. Is her brother like that?
Yeah. Only more so.
How come? Noel looked puzzled.
I don't know, spoiled, maybe unhappy. I don't know. You have to see the parents to understand better. Mama is kind of a nasty Lady Bountiful, and her father is just very withdrawn, as though he's haunted by ghosts.
Chapter 51
The flight to Nice only took a little over an hour, and Bernard Goddard was waiting for them at the gate. He was as fair and beautiful as his sister as he stood there barefoot, wearing a silk shirt and silk slacks. He had an air of being totally absent, as though he had been deposited there without his knowledge. He seemed to come to when his sister threw her arms around his neck. The large silver box of marijuana in the glove compartment of his Ferrari explained something about his vague aura.
But when pressed into conversation with Tammy and Noel, he seemed able to spring back to life.
I'm planning to come to New York in November. He smiled at them sweetly, and for an odd moment Noel had the feeling that he resembled photographs he'd seen somewhere a long time before. Will you be there then?
Yes, we will. Tammy answered for Noel.
You're going when? Brigitte looked at her brother in surprise.
November.
I thought that was when you were going to Brazil.
That's later, and I don't think I'll go to Brazil anyway; Mimi wants to go to Buenos Aires. Brigitte nodded as though it all made sense, and Tammy and Noel exchanged a silent look of awe. Somehow Tammy hadn't remembered them as quite that racy, and suddenly she wished they hadn't planned to stop at St.-Jean-Cap-Ferrat before driving on to Rome.
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