“That action right there tells me that you’ve changed. Your Omega responds to a command from an Alpha, so let’s stop fooling ourselves Brogan and get down to brass tacks. You need to decide what it is you want. Cade will be here in a week and I gotta tell you that makes you damned lucky that he even still cares enough to come. If you were mine you wouldn’t have gotten two more chances, let alone three. I suggest that if you don’t want him then tell him, but if you think that your life sucks then imagine trying to find another Alpha with your track record.”
He wanted to tell her that he did have an Alpha who wanted him, but then he remembered that Jackson wouldn’t want to claim him and that would make the situation of working for him uneasy. He couldn’t go back to his dad and if he broke his bond there would be no way that he could go back to Sports Related.
But did he want to go back to work now? What he wanted was what he killed. A family, a baby that was a part of them both, but he had to find a way to get Cade back first.
“Well, Brogan?”
“I want Cade,” he whispered.
“Good,” she smiled and leaned back in her chair. “Let’s work on getting him back and we’ll start by you telling me why you aborted your child.”
This was the hard part for him, sharing and caring with people. He’d never done this before but once he began to talk it felt cathartic, but it also felt that he was losing a part of himself. Brogan supposed that he should be telling Cade this, but he found that it was easier to confess to someone who hadn’t known him before and didn’t compare him to who he used to be.
“After Jaden I didn’t want to be under any Alpha’s thumb, and I wanted Cade to stop looking, to stop wanting me. It’s terrifying to go from being the architect of your own life to suddenly have to be at someone else’s bidding. I wanted to do something so vile that I wouldn’t be wanted; something that would let me just be but that wasn’t the case. So now here I am waiting for someone else to decide my fate while I have no choice.”
“That’s a pretty speech, Brogan,” Amanda smiled “but tell me, if Cade had been the one turned would you have had this epiphany, or would you have had him collared and chipped unable to talk to his family and friends?”
Heat colored his face because he knew that he would have treated Cade in the same manner that his father had treated his mother and the thought of that made him sick.
“What do I have to do to go home?” he asked instead of answering her.
“Answer me.”
“No,” he softly answered. “I would have made him cook and clean and perform sex on me all day because I could. Because he’s so pretty I would have dressed him up and shown him off and I would have thought of new ways to humiliate in the same vein as my father, but it doesn’t matter now because I have nothing of my own; even what little freedom I had left has been taken from me. Is that what you wanted to hear?”
“I want to hear that you’re not going to run any more. Perhaps we should have let you go with your father that first night you were here, then we wouldn’t be having this conversation. You’d have begged for Cade to take you back.”
“I’m begging now.”
Working on getting Cade back meant working out his time on the Omega Center's farm. If it wasn’t on such a large scale and for such long hours, he would have enjoyed the work. But that’s all he enjoyed there.
His every move was dictated and then there were classes on how to cook, clean and overall be a good Omega. As though that could be taught in a book. He could only wear the Center appointed sweats and hoodies.
The cooking classes were put to use because all of the Omegas had to cook their meals, and the meals were assigned by dorms. This week Brogan’s dorm was on lunch duty.
Cade was due to visit him tomorrow and then he would learn how long he was to stay at the Center. The time was based on Cade. If he wanted him, then Cade could take him home after four months, but if Cade decided to wash his hands of his mate then Brogan would spend a year in the Center and he wasn’t sure he’d survive that.
After a long morning in the fields Brogan came inside to shower before heading to the kitchen to help with lunch. When he entered the small room, his nose was assaulted by the strong smell of come.
“Eric?” He asked.
“My mate came today to work on our bonding,” Eric gave him a little smile.
“I thought that you didn’t want to be an Omega so why do you seem so happy about her visit?”
“I don’t - didn’t want to be changed, but I have been, Brogan. I saw all the shit you’ve gone through, and unlike you I realize that I can’t change things. Fighting is only going to make me miserable and I don’t want to live like that.”
“So, you’re just going to give in and be her bitch?”
“I’m not hers or anyone’s bitch, but I am hers and fighting it or running away is not going to give me my knot back and is only going to make me miserable. Misery may work for you but not for me. I’ve known Penny for a long time, and I think that we can have a good life. Since this is who I am now I can’t do anything about it I’ve decided to learn to live with it.”
As Brogan worked through the rest of his duties that day he thought about what Eric and Amanda had said and determined that they were right; he was Omega now and there was nothing he could do to change that.
The more he thought about it the only thing he would change right now was his actions in Florida because had he trusted Cade and told him the truth then he would be at home with his Alpha right now being spoiled and preparing for his baby.
That night his dreams were different, instead of dreaming about the baby, he had new dreams, it was him and Cade and a family. There were three children and he was pregnant with a fourth and they were happy. The next morning when he woke, he felt like a new person.
He was humming to himself and took extra care to make the state issued sweats look good. After lunch he was led into one of the visiting rooms, and it made him smile. Someone had taken the time to try to make this room look presentable.
The walls here were painted a blinding white and instead of institutional furniture, it resembled more of a lounge. There was a huge brown leather sofa and matching chairs. Oak tables flanked the sofa and the chair, and the sofa were separated by a matching coffee table with outdated magazines.
Brogan was nervous, so he picked up one of the magazines and thumbed through it until he heard a knock before the door opened.
He was smiling until the door opened to admit a grim looking Simon and Elias.
Chapter 21
Cade opened his eyes and for a moment he forgot. Forgot that finding Brogan had proven to be a worse nightmare than not knowing where he was. When he’d was missing, in Cade’s mind, Brogan had been perfect, loving and maternal, but apparently that had all been an illusion that had been destroyed five minutes after finding him.
Copious amounts of alcohol helped but when he sobered up, the truth was still there; Brogan had killed his baby and Cade wanted to kill Brogan.
That had been his first reaction, but now a week later, he was still angry, but he was worried about Brogan as well and that made him angry at himself. Why should he worry about someone who didn’t give two shits about him? He’d tried to drown those feeling in alcohol but even that bottle couldn’t turn his feelings off.
Mother. Fucking. Bond.
It prevented him from dismissing Brogan from his life. Today he was supposed to visit him at the Omega Center. It wasn’t the temporary one that he’d been in the first time, this one was a working farm that was an hour away. He couldn’t face Brogan just yet, but he didn’t want him to walk into an empty room, so he sent Elias and Simon.
Simon hadn’t wanted to go because he didn’t want to reassure Brogan of anything after what he’d done to Cade, but Elias talked him into going.
The months that he’d been searching for Brogan, Elias and Simon had been his rocks. His family had been incredible, but he didn’t want his family to
think badly about his mate, so he glossed over what had really happened and made light of the news reports of why Brogan was gone. But with Simon and Elias he could tell then the truth. Including telling them that Brogan had killed his child.
The couple had just found out that they were pregnant, so the news hit them especially hard. The partners at Sports Related knew some of what happened, and Benji told him what happened in Florida, that Brogan was going to tell him what happened, he’d just wanted to wait. That was the problem.
Had Brogan told him, he wouldn’t have given Jaden an audience and there would be no reason for Jaden to be in South Carolina. He wasn’t blaming Brogan for Jaden’s actions there was no excuse for that, but he could have helped to prevent it had he trusted Cade enough and that’s what hurt. One word from Brogan and none of this would have happened.
Picking up the bottle of amber liquid in front of him, Cade poured himself three fingers and tossed the drink back. As he drank the burning liquid his eyes caught the artwork Simon had placed there earlier for Jackson Bennett’s campaign.
Jackson Bennett.
Another son of a bitch who’d tried to take his mate.
After Jackson had told him where to find Brogan the older Alpha had explained how Brogan had come into his life and explained that Richard Ford was attempting to force his son onto him. Had Jackson been a man without scruples then he would have taken him without a second thought, but Brogan turned him down. Brogan wanted Cade.
Just not his baby.
Those words kept repeating over and over in his head. A part of him wanted him to believe Jackson’s words, but a huge part of him was afraid to. He wanted to drown those words out of his head and signaled the server for another drink, but when she placed it in front of him, those words wouldn’t let him drink it.
Brogan was the one who fucked up so why was he the one paying the price.
Leaving the last drink untouched, Cade paid his bill and left, but couldn’t stomach the thought of going home so he went to Simon and Elias’s apartment.
He told himself it was to see how the visit went, but he couldn’t stay in that house with those memories.
After a couple of knocks, an angry Simon answered the door, “This better be good!” he bellowed but changed his attitude slightly when he saw that it was Cade standing there. “Cade,” he greeted in surprise.
Stepping aside Simon let his friend inside and caught him when he stumbled over some invisible object on the floor.
“’M okay,” Cade slurred as he stepped away from Simon.
Rubbing his eyes Cade took in the scene before him and noticed that both men were disheveled, and Elias was buttoning up his shirt.
Simon somehow managed to look embarrassed and shrugged his shoulders and said, “You know how pregnant Omegas are.”
“No Simon, I don’t,” Cade reminded him before turning to leave. “But that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t enjoy your time with your mate.”
“Are you okay to drive?” Simon asked as Cade weaved towards the door.
“No, he isn’t,” Elias decided as he moved towards Cade. When he reached his friend, he announced in a tone that brooked no argument from either Alpha, “You’re staying here tonight.”
When he made a feeble protest, Simon shook his head and laughed, “You heard him, you’re not going anywhere.”
“You’re drunk, Cade,” Elias stated the obvious and steered the drunk man to the sofa and gently pushed him down, “when was the last time you ate?”
“Ate with Jackson,” Cade sadly informed them, “He wants my Brogan.”
“Why were you eating with him?” Simon asked with a hint of growl in his voice going protective over his friend. “I know it wasn’t work because the only thing he needs right now is the artwork and I’m working on that.”
“Talked about Brogan. I love him,” Cade confessed wistfully. “Brogan not Jackson,” he corrected as though Simon didn’t understand to whom he was referring.
“We know son,” Simon told him confidently.
“What am I going to do?” He asked with a hiccup. “He obiv.. obli… well he doesn’t want me so why can’t I let go?”
Simon gave a deep sigh and plopped down next to Cade on the sofa while Elias discreetly left the room, “He wants you Cade, but he’s scared too. I was mad - am mad at him for what he’s put you through, but I have to admit he’s going through his own shit as well.”
“He got to you too,” Cade grinned before frowning as something occurred to him. He looked at his friend and accused, “You want him too!”
“I promise you Elias is all I want and can handle,” Simon laughed at his drunk friend who was going to be horrified at his behavior when he sobered up. “and after talking to Brogan he only wants you. We’ll discuss this more tomorrow, but know that Brogan only wants you, he just has trouble telling you.”
What Simon was telling him was important, he was sure of it but his eyes were growing heavy and he couldn’t concentrate. All he wanted to do was sleep. He wasn’t sure why he was fighting it because he always saw Brogan in his sleep and the Brogan in his dreams was nice and sweet and more importantly, wanted him.
“Where are you creeping off to?” Simon’ voice stopped Cade in his tracks as he tried to sneak out the door without waking his hosts. “I mean it’s bad enough that your drunk ass cock blocked me, but now you’re just gonna run off?”
“I was just trying to give you your privacy,” Cade explained as he ran his hand down his face and scratched the stubble on his chin. “I…”
“You let your guard down last night and now you’re embarrassed and want to sneak out like some one-night stand rather than stay here with your friends.”
Simon was right, he was embarrassed, but not just about last night. He was fucking embarrassed about everything but leaving was not only about that. He didn’t want to have to stand there and watch Simon and his mate being happy and talk about their baby.
Now that Simon had caught him, he was not going to let Cade leave easily.
“Go sit while I make some coffee.”
Pursing his lips, Cade nodded and walked back to the sofa. He loved his coffee, but Brogan has ruined that for him as well. He spent many mornings going through withdrawal, not having his first cup until he was in the office because the smell of the elixir triggered Brogan’s morning sickness.
Even after Brogan was gone, he still didn’t have that first cup until he was in the office because he hadn’t wanted to get back in the habit of drinking it at home and have to stop when Brogan came back.
“If you want, you can shower in the guest room and I have something you can wear so you don’t have to put on clothes that smell like booze.”
“I don’t want to be a bother,” Cade said stiffly.
“Shut the fuck up. Your family and this is not putting me or Elias out of the way, you idiot.”
“When I feel better, we’re going to have a talk about you calling me an idiot,” Cade laughed.
“Well let’s get you a shower and coffee and let’s talk,” Simon told him, and he headed for the kitchen while Cade moved from the sofa and walked down the hall to the spare bedroom.
He sucked in his breath when he walked into the room because he wasn’t prepared for the changes he found there. He wasn’t sure which of them were doing the work, but the spare bedroom was being turned into a nursery and there were baby things everywhere. As if drawn by a magnet, he walked over to the bed to touch them.
There was a crib still in its box and Cade was sure it was still there because Elias didn’t trust Simon to set it up properly and would call Jamal to help. The items on the bed are what fascinated him, the clothes.
The items were folded neatly and placed into piles and Cade went through them all. Everything was gender neutral greens and yellows and so tiny that it was a wonder that a person could be this small. The baby would be six months before it shifted for the first time, but until then it would be in it's human form, soft and v
ulnerable.
As he held a onesie to his face marveling in the softness, he hated Brogan at that moment because he didn’t get to do this. Go out and buy things just because and listen to his mate complain because it was too early. When he placed the item back on the bed, he realized it was wet from where he’d rubbed in on his face because he was crying and that made him angry.
Rushing towards the bathroom Cade jumped under the hot spray and cried until he concluded, he would take Brogan back, but on his terms. Richard Ford was in jail and would be for some time, but Brogan would be free and under Cade’s authority and he would make him pay.
Once the tears had stopped, Cade stepped out of the shower and found that Simon had left a t-shirt and sweats for him on the bed where Cade had made a mess of the baby things.
From Alpha to Omega Page 24