He thought that Cade would put up a fight about the longer walks, but despite his past behavior, Cade showed his mate that he trusted him by changing the range on his embedded chip. Cade originally set it for one mile, but Brogan who always had to push his boundaries asked for three and Cade changed the setting without an argument.
When Cade gave in so easily to his request, Brogan felt a little guilty. He’d given Cade every reason not to trust him, but he didn’t exchange a word when he made the change. Brogan could tell by the tremble in Cade’s hand as he made the change that he had some doubt, but he still made the change.
As a three-time runaway, Brogan could understand why Cade had that doubt, but Brogan would be stupid to run again. If he did, this time his stay at the Omega Center would be longer, and Cade would break their bond. If he did that Brogan ran the risk of spending the rest of his life at the Omega Center because no self-respecting Alpha would want him, or worse an Alpha would take him to use as a sex toy, and there wouldn’t be a fucking thing that Brogan could do about it.
Huffing from exertion after his walk Brogan filled the water bowls for the dogs and because he was tired checked his watch to see how much longer it would be until Cade came home from work. He wanted to take a nap, and his watch showed here was plenty of time to take a nap before he began dinner. An inhale made him realize he needed a shower as well, but the persistent yawning told him that no Matter how inviting a shower sounded, it would wait until he’d had his nap.
The alarm on his cell began to chime after the two hours Brogan had set it on and he was tempted to turn it off and close his eyes. Pizza would be great for dinner, but Brogan didn’t feel comfortable enough of his role in this house to blow off cooking dinner and suggesting take out.
Cade swore they were okay, but Brogan wasn’t willing to take that chance with his life.
After hitting the snooze button twice, Brogan rolled off the bed and walked towards the ensuite bathroom to wash away the sour smell from his body. He adjusted the water temperature and sleepily stripped off his clothes.
Steam was fogging up the mirror but Brogan for the first time in months, Brogan took inventory of his body. There was now a noticeable swell now, and he didn’t have to tell anyone that he was pregnant his body made the announcement for him.
His stomach big, but not yet huge but big enough that he couldn’t see his dick anymore that ended at the bottom of his darkened treasure trail, but he could see the changes on his chest. There was no missing way his chest was swelling, and the nipples became larger, darker and tender in preparation to feed this child.
The drastic changes were why he didn’t look at his body, but the changes now were so profound that he couldn’t ignore them any longer. If Cade were here and saw him checking out the changes, he knew that the Alpha would see this as a sign of acceptance and not the curiosity that it was.
Not wanting to see how his body was morphing any longer, Brogan stepped under the hot water and tried to wash away the sorrow he was feeling. More than hot water was needed for an emotional cleanse so he attempted to focus on other things, like dinner. He was planning something with chicken, but he didn’t know what. He knew he wasn’t the best cook in the world, but he was getting better. Okay, he was trying. Thank God for Pinterest.
Quickly dressing in a pair of sweats and old t-shirt Brogan made his way downstairs to the kitchen. He found a recipe for southern fried chicken that seemed simple enough for him so pulling the large butcher knife from the wooden block, Brogan began breaking down the chicken.
Had he had a say he would have purchased a bird that had already been cut up but Cade’s mom told him that he needed to learn how to cut up a chicken so here he was. He hoped that he didn’t end up slicing off a finger. That would get him out of cooking dinner.
Having completed the easy part, the legs and the wings and separating the back from the breasts and now he was attempting to cut through the breast bone and complete the job when he felt the kick. The baby kicked and surprised him causing the knife to slip, cutting his thumb and took him back to a place that he thought he’d never have to visit other than his dreams.
The cut was small with very little blood, but that’s not what Brogan saw. He saw blood everywhere and he backed into the refrigerator to fend off Jaden Matthews once again.
He screamed, “Leave me alone!” but the big man continued to advance towards him, and as the figure got closer, Brogan blindly thrust the knife at the advancing threat to defend himself, “Stop!”
As his attacker advanced the more Brogan struck out with the knife until all he could see was a bloody mess. The once pristine house decorated in black and white now had a pop of color as it was decorated with Jaden’s blood.
Tired from the act of defending himself, Brogan slid to the floor and closed his eyes. He prayed that he had done enough to immobilize Jaden because he didn’t have the strength to continue. Tilting his head back against the refrigerator, Brogan worked to get his breathing under control.
He’s not sure how long he sat there, but he knew that he was going to have to call Cade. There would be no running this time. Not wanting to face what he’s done, Brogan squeezed his eyes closed tighter before opening them, only to find there was no blood or Jaden.
Well, there was blood, but it was his from when he cut his finger.
Finally trusting his legs to hold him upright Brogan stood and began to clean up the mess he had made during his little freak out. He wanted any evidence of what happened gone before Cade came home and decided that he wasn’t worth keeping.
With the kitchen cleaned Brogan put the chicken in the oven because he wasn’t in the right frame of mind to deal with frying it as he’d planned. As he cut up vegetables for a side dish, Brogan tried to figure out what happened, why all of a sudden, he was back in the life or death struggle with Jaden. His mind was still furiously trying to figure out what happened as he placed the dish in the oven and then the baby kicked again.
Hard.
For days he’d been feeling the little flutters in his stomach and had passed it off as gas. He’d even had Cade to pick up the over the counter antacid his gynecologist had deemed safe for pregnancy, but now he realized that this wasn’t gas at all.
The baby was moving.
At the realization, Brogan had his second meltdown and this time the breathing exercise wasn’t going to help. He’s pretty sure that the kicking triggered the first flashback, but he didn’t connect the two and didn’t have time to think about that now.
Feeling lightheaded he moved towards the den, but his knees buckled with his first step and ended back on the floor in the kitchen.
As he sat on the floor, he felt the baby as it continued to move making him feel weird and guilty. He never gave his first pup the chance to move because he needed to take control of his life to prevent him from being under the thumb of an Alpha. But look what happened, he killed his baby, and he’s still under Cade’s control.
Right now, all he could think of was that he had killed his baby for nothing because he was pregnant again with a baby that was insistent on reminding him that he was growing inside of him. During his last doctor's visit, he found out that his son was going to be an Omega and he was mourning that discovery.
The only reason he’d forced himself from the bed was that he had to prepare dinner. He painted on a fake smile and tried to send happy feeling through their bond, but Cade wasn’t stupid and had confronted Brogan.
“You said that we would communicate, Brogan. Be honest with one another,” Cade had accused, “but how can we make us better if you lie?”
“I’m not lying,” Brogan had lied as he tried not to panic, he latched onto the most plausible excuse he could find for his blues. “It’s. It’s hormones. You were there when the doctor told us that I would have mood swings because of m hormones.”
For a moment he thought that Cade was going to challenge him on that but, he nodded his head and said, “How do I know that you’
re having a bad day if you don’t tell me? I could’ve picked up dinner for us or ordered takeout. Don’t cook the rest of the week, relax. I don’t want you to overdo it.”
Brogan took advantage of the out and used the hormone excuse for at least two weeks. It magically got better when Cade decided to have a doctor check him out. He sealed the deal by using their bond to let Cade know that things were right again in his kingdom
He never got a chance to learn what sex and what gender the other pup was, and this was his punishment. He killed his first child and now he had to suffer the indignity of giving birth to an Omega and watching him grow up into the hell he’d been forced to live.
Getting rid of this baby was not an option. Even if he weren't attached to the baby, Cade would take him back to the Omega Center, and that was a place he never wanted to see again. His mother took the easy way out, but that wasn’t an option for him either. Despite his dislike of being an Omega, he didn’t have the balls to kill himself.
After learning the indignities his mother had suffered at the hands of his father and later, from Brogan himself, Brogan knew that Omegas were stronger than Alphas thought them to be and his mother was stronger than most. She certainly had been stronger than he was, look how she took the shit that his father dished out and she held on until her children were old enough to take care of themselves before taking the power away from her mate by killing herself.
Cade wasn’t that bad of an Alpha, but Brogan was a sorry excuse of an Omega but to be honest he hadn’t put forth much effort in trying. He had struggled with being an Omega because he fought so fucking hard to hold on to his Alpha status. If anyone asked him, no, he doesn’t want to be an Omega and has no desire to be one, but he doesn’t have a choice.
He wasn’t even sure if he liked Cade, but in this situation, that didn’t matter either. He was an Omega and Cade was his Alpha, and he was pregnant. The sex was good, and they talked some, but Brogan held back as much as the bond would allow him because he didn’t want to give Cade all of him.
As he looked up at the stove from his position on the floor, he decided that If he had his way, he would never cook another meal again, but Cade insisted that he cook. He tries, but they usually end up eating eggs in some form. He would have thought that Cade would have given up and ordered out each night, but it seems that he’s a stubborn motherfucker.
Unlike Brogan, Cade has the luxury during the day to order out. What he wouldn’t give for a meat lover’s pizza from the Italian restaurant around the corner from the office. The dripping cheese and the… oomph.
That wasn’t a kick.
That was a sharp pain that felt as though someone was gutting him with a hot knife and once the pain subsided, he felt something warm and sticky gush from his body. Even though he was delirious with pain, Brogan realized what was happening, but he was helpless on the floor still clutching the knife he’d been using to chop the vegetables.
“Oh God, baby,” Brogan whispered before another painful cramp assailed his body, “am I such a horrible person that you don’t want me either?”
That was his last lucid thought before he slipped into darkness.
From Alpha to Omega Page 31