by R. L. Stine
“Well…”
Evan’s mind raced. He knew there was no way he could come up with a good explanation.
“My flowers—!” Aunt Dee cried.
“I… uh… I heard someone out here,” Evan started. “But…”
I’m a terrible liar, he told himself. I’d better not even try to make up a story.
“Get in the house—this instant!” his aunt growled. “I’m going to have a long talk with your parents when they get back. I’m very disappointed in you, Evan. Very disappointed.”
“Sorry,” Evan gulped. He obediently slunk into the house.
Aunt Dee was talking angrily, scolding him, asking him what he was doing outside.
But he didn’t hear her. He was thinking about the two bulging, throbbing bags of blue Monster Blood creatures in the basement.
We’ll get rid of them in the morning, he told himself. Then everything will be okay. Right?
Right?
Right. He answered his own question.
Aunt Dee scolded Evan for a few minutes more. Kermit was already tucked into bed when Evan finally entered the darkened bedroom.
Evan stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. “Did you lock up the bags somewhere?” he whispered.
“No problem,” Kermit replied sleepily. He yawned. “All safe and sound.”
Evan got undressed quickly, letting his clothes fall to the floor. He began to feel sleepy too. The battle against the blue blobs had worn him out.
He sighed.
Tomorrow will be better, he thought. I’ll be able to think more clearly in the morning. I’ll figure out a way to get rid of all the Monster Blood creatures.
He pulled the covers down a few inches and slid into the foldout bed. He settled in. Rested his head on the pillow.
Then he felt the cold, wet creature on his back.
And he started to scream.
19
The dampness spread over the back of Evan’s pajamas. The cold chilled him until his skin prickled.
He leaped up. Whirled around. Let out another cry as the lights flashed on.
He stared down at a wet washcloth on his sheet.
And heard Kermit’s high-pitched giggle.
“Kermit—you jerk!” Evan cried.
His cousin stood by the light switch, shaking with laughter.
“Kermit—do you really think this was the best time to play such a mean joke?” Evan demanded, his heart still pounding.
Kermit shrugged. “Guess not.” Then he started giggling all over again.
Evan angrily grabbed up the cold, wet washcloth and heaved it at his cousin. “Let’s get some sleep,” he growled. “We have a lot to do tomorrow. And it’s no joke.”
* * *
Evan dreamed about blue balloons. There were dozens of them in the dream, and they grew bigger and bigger.
The balloons floated above him, their long strings hanging down. Evan tried to capture the balloons by grabbing the strings.
But as he held on, the strings turned into wriggling snakes.
Evan tried to let go, but the snakes wrapped around his hands. And the huge blue balloons lifted him off the ground and carried him higher and higher—until they popped.
And he woke up.
Morning sunlight washed into the bedroom. Evan felt tired and shaky, as if he hadn’t slept at all. He glanced across the room at his cousin.
Kermit had kicked all his blankets off onto the floor. He slept at the foot of his bed, twisted like a pretzel.
He probably had bad dreams too, Evan thought.
He spotted the wet washcloth on the floor.
Good! Evan said to himself. Kermit deserves bad dreams!
But as he pulled on jeans and a sweatshirt, a heavy feeling of dread swept over Evan.
The Monster Blood creatures. They were down in the basement. Waiting.
How can we get rid of them? Evan asked himself. Should we tell Aunt Dee? Should we call the police?
He stared at himself in the mirror as he brushed his teeth. His eyes were bloodshot. He had dark circles around them.
He shook Kermit’s shoulders and woke him up. “Huh?” Kermit groaned. He squinted hard at Evan, as if he didn’t recognize him.
“Wake up,” Evan ordered. “We have a job to do—remember?”
Kermit blinked several times. Without his big red glasses, his eyes looked tiny.
“We have to dump those trash bags somewhere,” Evan reminded him.
“I have an idea,” Kermit replied.
They hurried to the kitchen. Aunt Dee had left a note on the refrigerator. She went early to the garden store to buy new flowers for her garden. She told the boys to make cereal for breakfast.
But Evan didn’t feel like eating. His stomach felt as if it were filled with lead.
“We’ll eat after we take care of the blobs,” he told Kermit.
Kermit nodded solemnly. He led the way to the basement stairs.
“Where did you hide the trash bags?” Evan asked as they started down the steps.
“I locked them in the little bathroom,” Kermit replied.
“Huh?” Evan let out a gasp. He grabbed Kermit and spun him around. “Isn’t there a sink in that bathroom? And a toilet? And water pipes?”
“Well… yeah,” Kermit replied. “But the creatures are in bags—remember?”
“Plastic bags!” Evan reminded him. “They probably chewed through those bags in seconds!”
Kermit’s mouth dropped open. “Do you think so?”
They stopped outside the bathroom door. Evan pressed his ear to the door, listening hard. “Uh-oh,” he murmured. “I think I hear running water.”
“Oh, wow.” Kermit shook his head. “Oh, wow. Oh, wow. I just remembered something else.”
“Something else?” Evan narrowed his eyes on his cousin. “What else did you just remember?”
Kermit swallowed. “Uh… well… I just remembered that this bathroom is where I hid the bottle that has my hair-growing formula.”
“Oh, nooooo,” Evan moaned.
“I didn’t want anyone to find it,” Kermit explained. “No one ever uses this bathroom. So I hid it in here.”
Evan pressed his ear to the bathroom door again. He reached for the knob.
“No—don’t!” Kermit cried.
“We have no choice,” Evan told him.
He pulled open the door.
20
“Oh, nooooo!” Evan screamed.
He tried to slam the door shut. But Monster Blood creatures bounced into the doorway, blocking the door.
“There are hundreds of them!” Kermit shrieked. “And—and they’re all hairy!”
As the big blobs bounced past the two boys into the basement, Evan gaped into the little bathroom in shock.
Dozens and dozens of the blobs bounced and drank and growled and chomped their pointy teeth. Their sleek blue skin was now covered in thick tufts of long black hair.
Water poured from the sink faucets. The hairy blue creatures bobbed over the sink, gulping thirstily. Others hovered over the toilet, drinking their fill.
Evan gripped the doorknob so hard, his hand ached. He stared into the room, too horrified to move.
“The walls…” he murmured in a trembling whisper. “Oh, no. The walls…”
The walls and ceiling and floor were covered with a layer of oozing blue slime. The pipe under the sink had been chewed clear through. Creatures bobbed beneath it, sucking up water. Others drank from puddles on the slime-covered floor.
“What are we going to—” Kermit started.
He didn’t finish his sentence. A deafening POP rocked the little room as two Monster Blood creatures exploded to become four. A wave of cold, wet slime washed over Evan and Kermit.
Evan staggered back as several growling creatures bounced out of the bathroom. He saw three others pushing their way out through the basement window. Two were bouncing on the stairs.
“We’ve got to stop them!” he cr
ied as another explosion and another flying wave of slime shook the room.
“But how?” Kermit whined.
Evan didn’t have a chance to answer. A wet blue blob leaped onto his shoulder. With an angry snarl, it sank its teeth into Evan’s sweatshirt.
Evan uttered a groan of pain. “It—it’s sucking…” he stammered.
He ducked, swung around. And batted it away with a hard punch.
The creature roared furiously—and dove for Kermit.
Kermit dodged away—and fell over a hairy blue blob. “Help me—!” he cried out as he landed on his back in a thick slime puddle. “They’re totally fierce now!”
Kermit is right, Evan realized. There’s nothing cute about these creatures now. They are ferocious—and deadly.
POP! POP!
And there are more of them every second!
Evan ducked away from another attacking creature. He reached both hands out and pulled Kermit to his feet.
“They’re all getting away!” Evan declared.
“Maybe we should let them!” Kermit declared.
Evan glared at his cousin. “Do you want to be responsible for wrecking the whole town? OWWWW!” He cried out as a hairy blob bit into his ankle.
Evan kicked the creature away.
Kermit shook his head. “They drank up all my hair-growing formula. I’ll never be able to mix it right again.”
We were going to use it for my revenge against Conan, Evan thought bitterly. Well… forget that idea.
“We don’t have time to worry about your hair formula,” Evan told his cousin.
POP!
Another wave of slime slapped the bathroom wall.
“If they keep multiplying and multiplying,” Evan said, “they could outnumber the people in this town. They could drink up the whole water supply. Drain all the flowers and plants. They could keep spreading and spreading—and drink up the entire country!”
Kermit gulped. “And it would be all my fault. I opened the can.”
The growls and snarls and chomps of jagged teeth were deafening. Hairy blue creatures bounced out the window, up the steps, all around the basement.
“We have to get rid of them somehow,” Evan moaned. “No. We can’t just get rid of them. We have to kill them!”
“Oh, wow,” Kermit muttered. Then his expression brightened. “I have an idea!” he declared.
21
“My electric fence!” he cried. “If we can herd them to the backyard, we can zap them with the electricity. Maybe it will dry them up!”
“Hey—!” Evan exclaimed. “Maybe it will. It’s worth a try.” Then he hesitated. “How do we get them to the backyard?”
Kermit shrugged.
POP! Another blob exploded into two.
Evan covered his ears to block out the angry growls and roars. He glanced frantically around the basement. And spotted several brooms and mops leaning against the wall near the laundry room.
“Come on—let’s round them up!” he told Kermit.
He grabbed a broom and handed another one to his cousin. The two of them began swinging the brooms, batting the hairy blobs, poking them, moving them out.
The creatures squealed in protest. But their balloonlike shape made them easy to bat and shove along.
It seemed to Evan to take hours. By the time they herded the last of the stragglers into the backyard, his arms ached and his sweatshirt was drenched with sweat.
“What’s going on? What on earth are you doing?” Andy came running across the yard. She wore bright green leggings and a purple sweater. She goggled as she saw how many bouncing blobs the boys were herding.
“Yuck!” she groaned. “They’re all hairy! Sick!”
“They’re out of control!” Kermit declared. “And it’s all my fault!”
Weird, Evan thought. Kermit never takes the blame for anything. Maybe he’s growing up.
“That’s why I came up with a brilliant plan to kill them!” Kermit declared.
Same old Kermit, Evan thought.
“We’re going to zap them,” Evan told Andy breathlessly. “On the invisible fence!”
“You’re going to shock them to death?” she cried, staring at the bouncing, growling monsters.
“It’s worth a try,” Evan gasped. He slapped a blob into line with a swing of his broom. The black hair over its body stiffened and stood straight up. It tried to bite the broom handle. But Evan slapped it away with another swing.
“Get ready!” Kermit cried. He swung his broom back and forth, frantically trying to keep the angry creatures in line.
“Okay! Push them! Push them forward—into the invisible fence!”
Evan swung his broom hard.
The blobs bounced forward, squealing and growling, snapping their teeth.
Forward. Forward. Toward the edge of the yard.
Will it work? Evan wondered. Will the jolt of electricity destroy the ugly, destructive things?
22
He swung the broom hard, batting the monsters forward.
Swung it again.
They bobbed and bounced over the low shrubs that divided the yards.
On into Conan Barber’s backyard.
“Nooooooo!” Kermit let out a cry and slapped his forehead. “The switch! I forgot to turn it on again!”
Creatures bounced into the next yard. Beneath the tufts of black hair, their skin glowed bright blue in the morning sunlight.
“You jerk!” Evan shrieked at his cousin. “How could you forget again? How could you?”
Andy plopped down on the grass, lowering her head and uttering an unhappy sigh.
Kermit fumbled in his back pocket for the fence control. He finally tugged it out and pressed the red button to turn on the power.
ZZZAAAAAP!
Evan shrieked and leaped into the air as a powerful shock jolted through him.
“I told you not to stand there!” Kermit cried.
Evan jumped aside.
“I turned it up all the way!” Kermit declared.
“Too late,” Evan muttered.
The Monster Blood creatures had all bounced and rolled into the next backyard.
Conan’s yard.
“Oh, no,” Evan moaned softly. “Here comes more trouble.”
All three of them gasped as Conan came lumbering across his yard, a can of Coke in one hand, his other hand balled into a tight, angry fist.
23
“Conan—go back!” Evan warned. But his voice came out tiny and weak. He knew that Conan couldn’t hear him over the growls and snarls of the Monster Blood creatures.
“What’s the big idea?” Conan boomed. “It’s not my birthday! Get these balloons out of my yard!”
“Get back! Get back!” Evan tried to warn him.
Kermit and Andy stood frozen, watching Conan storm toward the bouncing, evil blobs.
Evan waved frantically with both hands. “Get back—!”
Conan scowled at him. “Are you ordering me around in my own yard?”
“But—but—” Evan sputtered.
Conan kicked at one of the creatures. “Whoa. This balloon has hair on it!”
He bent to pick the creature up—and it jumped onto his arm. With a growl, it swallowed Conan’s Coke can.
“Hey—!” Conan protested.
The creature started to swell up from the liquid.
Conan struggled to shake it off. But it clung tightly to his arm.
And then, with a loud, wet POP, it exploded.
Thick slime splashed over Conan’s face. He spluttered, thrashed his arms out in surprise. Wiped the slimy goo from his eyes.
And blinked at two hairy, round creatures clinging to his arm.
“Get these off me!” he shrieked.
With a furious cry, he swung his free arm—and batted the two blobs together. They made a loud SQUISH as they collided with each other. And they dropped to the ground.
Another creature bit into Conan’s leg. Conan stumbled and tripped over another
one.
He pulled himself up quickly, glaring furiously at Kermit. “You invented these hairy things—didn’t you!” he accused. “Don’t even answer. It’s some kind of lab experiment—right? I know this is your kind of thing.”
“No. Listen—” Kermit started weakly.
Another Monster Blood creature exploded, sending a wave of cold slime over Conan.
He spluttered again and tried to wipe it away. Then he shook a fist at them. “It’ll be payback time—real soon,” he threatened. “Payback time!”
And he slunk back toward his house, covered in slime.
Evan breathed a sigh of relief. We have enough problems without having Conan in our face, he thought.
Of course, Conan will be back. But we can’t worry about that now.
He gazed over the backyards. The Monster Blood creatures were spreading out over the entire block.
What are we going to do? Evan wondered.
He turned back to the house. “Hey—Aunt Dee is home!” he cried.
“When did she get back?” Kermit wondered.
“We have to tell her what’s happened,” Andy urged. “We need help. We can’t round these creatures up on our own.”
The three of them took off, running across the slime-puddled grass to the back door. A few seconds later, they burst breathlessly into the kitchen.
Kermit’s mom had her back to them. She was stirring a long spoon in a big aluminum pot on the stove. She turned as the storm door slammed.
“What’s up, guys?” She smiled at them.
“We need help!” Kermit blurted out.
Aunt Dee’s smile faded. “Help? What’s wrong?” She turned back to the stove. “Keep talking. I just have to stir this. I’m mixing up a new batch of spaghetti with hot sauce for my reading club tonight.”
“We have a real problem. Andy found a can of Monster Blood, and Kermit opened it,” Evan told her, all in one breath.
“That’s nice,” Aunt Dee replied, frowning at her hot sauce. She sniffed and peered down into the steaming pot. “I think it needs more peppers.”
“Mom—you’ve got to listen!” Kermit pleaded.