by Lynn Emery
“What you built, the Fish Shack, the land, all that was more than money to you two.” Neva shook her head slowly. “It was the love you shared.”
“There you go with them romantic notions. Thought you was gonna be a hard-nosed businesswoman.” Mama Jo tried to make her tone light.
“Tell me the truth Mama Jo. What is Desiree threatening you with.”
“I told you I just decided to give the girl another chance.” Mama Jo seemed to shrink further into the rocking chair cushion.
“No,” Neva said simply.
“We’ll build another store. Better than that old place.” Mama Jo swallowed hard.
“Tell me about Rose,” Neva said, her voice low and insistent.
“Now look here, quit using that high an’ mighty tone with me.” Mama Jo tried to be the strong matriarch who could face down the toughest challenger.
Neva had more of her grandmother than Mama Jo realized. She was not going to be diverted or bullied. An instant replay of a her fight with Desiree came to her. The clue was as much in what Desiree had not said. Like a flash of lightening in a dark room, Neva caught of glimpse of things hidden. Neva thought of the young woman in the photo next to her bed. Her smile was bold, reckless even. There was a touch of defiance in the way she seemed to dare the camera to capture her.
“Rose went to Houston, but it turned out wrong. So wrong you lied to me all these years.”
Mama Jo let out a long, low moan. Twenty-five years worth of pent up pain flowed out in her voice. “Desiree swore she wouldn’t tell you. Lordy, Lordy.”
Neva leaned forward. “I want to hear it from you. Everything. Starting with why she left.”
“You was such a pretty baby.” Mama Jo reached out and touched her hair. “Loved those Dr. Seuss stories.”
“No more fairy tales, Mama Jo,” Neva said softly. She caught her grandmother’s hand and held it. “We’ve got too much riding on the truth.”
Mama Jo’s eyes looked far back across time. “Old as I am, I found out sometimes the truth is like shiftin’ sand. Don’t look to be the same from day to day.”
“What happened to my mama?” Neva was prepared to wait all day is need be.
Mama Jo closed her eyes and rested her head against the carved wood of her rocking chair. “Rose was always rambunctious. If I said up, she said down. I’d say black, she’d say white. It just got worse as she got older. Until–”
“Go on,” Neva prompted.
“When she got to be fourteen, Rose went crazy for boys.” Mama Jo opened her eyes again. “Me and her daddy had our hands full, lemme tell ya. They was just as crazy for her.”
Neva could understand why. In the pictures, faded as they were, it was obvious her mother was beautiful. “Not unusual for teenagers.” She felt defensive on Rose’s behalf.
“Yeah, but they wasn’t all boys. When she was fifteen, we caught her with a twenty-three year old man.” Mama Jo let out a long breath. “An’ that was just the beginning. She had you when she was seventeen. A wonder it took that long.”
“I heard she liked to have a good time but....” Neva’s voice faltered.
“Sure you want to know?” Mama Jo looked at her in a hard searching way. Her expression indicated she was prepared to go on but was unsure if Neva could handle it.
“Yes,” Neva said after only a moment of hesitation.
“Your daddy was one of the Norwoods from Centreville, Mississippi. He took off with another man’s wife when you was a year old.”
“I only saw him once when he was passing through.”
Neva felt the sting of rejection still. Hilton Norwood had come to Solitude when she was ten years old. He drove up in a shiny new Lincoln Continental. Seated next to him had been a woman wearing too much makeup. In the back seat were five screaming children. The woman continually turned to shout “Shut up!” They drove up to Mama Jo’s house and stayed for only a few minutes. The handsome man had looked at Neva as though she were a curiosity and nothing more.
“You was better off without him, believe me.”
Neva thought of how he’d met his death three years later. “I know.”
“Rose carried on for all of a week before she took up with a married man.” Mama Jo shook her head slowly. “She was smart. We begged her to go to college. But runnin’ the streets was what she wanted more. Guess we shoulda been thankful she finished high school.”
“Then she didn’t go to Houston to study nursing.”
“Yes, she did. Landers Community College had a practical nursin’ program. After three weeks of fightin’ us she finally agreed to go.”
Neva looked at her. “How did you finally convince her?”
Mama Jo took a deep breath and looked back at her without flinching. Her lips parted but she did not speak for several moments. When she did, her voice was weak. “I threw her out. Her daddy tried to stop me but it was no use.”
“She had no choice.”
“It was either go to that school or else.” Mama Jo covered her face with both hands. “I shoulda known better. Houston was the worse place for a girl like Rose.” She sobbed in quiet despair.
Neva absorbed this new picture of her mother. Rose had made terrible mistakes, that was clear. Neva could very well guess just what big city vices had snared her mother.
“Was she on drugs?”
Mama Jo lowered her hands to reveal a face wet with tears. “Heroin. She was stickin’ needles in veins all other her body.” She sighed and gazed at Neva with eyes that were tortured. “Rose would do anything for money.”
For a long time the two women sat thinking of a promising life destroyed. Neva did need her grandmother to say more. Rose had become a prostitute and no doubt a thief to feed her habit.
“You did the best you could,” Neva said finally.
“No. She tried to come home and I– I told her not to bring that filth in my house. Told her she wasn’t fit to be around you.” Mama Jo’s tears were now dry. She seemed all cried out for the moment. “I threw her out again. Two months later she was dead.”
“Was there a car accident?”
Mama Jo wore a bitter smile. “That’s the only other part of what I told you that wasn’t a lie. She was with a dope peddler. The car crashed after some other hoodlum chased ‘em down and shot up the car.”
Neva knelt down in front of Mama Jo. She put her hands over the two knarled fists clenched in her grandmother’s lap. “She made terrible choices that pulled her down.”
Mama Jo’s face lit up. “I found out later she was tryin’ to straighten up. My cousin in New Orleans said Rose had been to a treatment program. Her and the man she was with both had tried to change.” The light faded and sadness took over again. “Too late.”
“It’s not your fault Mama died. You tried to help her have a different life.”
“But she would’ve been on drugs if I hadn’t made her go.” Mama Jo would not accept consolation. “She would be alive,” she whispered. Her voice was hoarse with grief.
“You sent her to get an education, not to become an addict and a prostitute. She did those things to herself, Mama Jo.” Neva squeezed her hands.
“I’m old and tired. The only thing kept me goin’ was Dub and you.” Mama Jo wrapped her arms around Neva. “I just had to protect you.”
“And you did. I’ll always love and cherish you for it.” Neva let the tears flow as she pressed her face into the cotton fabric of her grandmother’s house dress. Mama Jo smelled of Camay soap and vanilla. “It’s time to heal.”
Mama Jo seemed drained now that her burden had been shared. Neva helped her into bed and left instructions with Tranice before she headed back to the store. Despite her assurances to Mama Jo, Neva had been shaken to the core as the full impact of the truth hit her. Everything around her looked strange. Her perspective had shifted. There was no golden-hued ideal Rose to compare herself to anymore. Through the sorrow of knowing the real woman, Neva felt her own burden lift. It was time to become hersel
f, free of the fear that she was not worthy. To learn of Rose’s flaws, her all too human weaknesses, helped Neva feel relieved in a strange way. Far from feeling disgust or alienation, she loved her all the more.
There’s another family skeleton, she thought as she drove around a curve in the highway. It had been buried for a much longer time. First Neva would deal with the Bellows threat. She was going to rock their world to it’s very foundation. Neva thought of Desiree’s arrogant pose. Giving her an unpleasant surprise was something she looked forward to even more. Neva intended to fight back with the same kind of strength she’d inherited from Mama Jo, and boldness that came from Rose. Nothing had changed. In fact, it had only added strength to her desire to protect their family legacy. Mama Jo and Rose deserved no less.
Chapter 19
“Say, man.” Vernon slapped Chandler on the shoulder as he came in.
Vernon and Chandler had been working different shifts for the past month. They only saw each other in passing. With Chandler putting in extra hours, they hardly had time to hang out.
“Hi.” Chandler glanced up from the monitor only for a second. “I’m just finishing this sequence. There was a problem with unit six.”
“Yeah, Robert told me all about it. You can go on home now.”
“Nah, I told him I could stay just in case.” Chandler shrugged. “Might as well.”
“This ain’t no substitute, brother.” Vernon leaned against the desk. “Like I said three weeks ago, call the lady.”
“And like I said three weeks ago, mind your own business,” Chandler said with annoyance. “I know what I’m doing.”
“Uh-huh, right.” Vernon gave a short grunt to show just what he thought.
His silence goaded Chandler more than anything he could have said. “She’s got some nutty idea about me and Alise–”
Vernon broke in. “You let Alise play you. Then if that wasn’t bad enough, you let Neva know it.”
“Will you give it a rest?” Chandler ground his teeth.
“Women have radar when it comes to that kinda stuff. The minute you start looking guilty, boom! I told you.” Vernon pointed a forefinger at him before he went to a check on a set of gauges across the room.
Chandler had to admit it, Vernon was saying exactly what he’d told himself. He had let his doubts crowd out good judgement. Chandler had forgotten his own lesson to Tariq. He’d confused duty to his son with feelings about Alise. They were not inevitable entwined.
“Okay, okay. Now that you’ve gotten ‘I told you so’ out of your system, shut up about it.” Chandler sat back in the chair. “Anyway, it’s too late. And it’s more complicated than Alise now.”
“Like what?” Vernon called back to him.
“Like the way she’s changed since we met. We’re moving in opposite directions now.” Chandler thought of the way Neva had balked at giving up a few days.
“Oh yeah?” Vernon moved to a computer to tap in new settings. “She’s sure a fighter. Those guys that tried to jump her found out, right?”
Chandler stood up and crossed the room in two seconds. With one large hand on his friend’s shoulder, he turned Vernon around to face him. “What did you say?”
“Didn’t somebody tell you? It was even in the newspaper.”
“I haven’t read the newspaper for days. And I’ve been here more than home. Why didn’t you tell me? What happened to Neva? Is she all right?” Chandler dug his fingers into Vernon’s skin.
Vernon grimaced. “Ow!. I’m gonna need my arm.”
“Sorry.” Chandler let go. “Now what happened?” He felt a tightening in his chest.
“Lainie surprised some guys breaking in to trash the place. They attacked her then Neva showed up. I heard Neva kicked butt. They tried to grab her and–”
“Was she hurt?” Chandler cut him off.
“I don’t think so. Not too bad at least.”
“You’re not sure?” Chandler advanced on him.
“The newspaper said they were treated for minor injuries and released, but I’m sure folks would have told me if–”
Chandler looked at the clock on the wall. Three o’clock, which meant she was still at the store. “I’ve gotta go. Tell Robert when you see him.” He strode toward the door.
“Okay, I–”
“Check the log for the last readings. Everything looks fine,” he called over his shoulder.
“Wait up, thought you were going to put in more overtime?” Vernon was talking to empty space before he’d finished the sentence. “Man, he’s got it bad.”
Chandler shed his flame retardant jumpsuit in record time. In minutes he was driving toward the Fish Shack. The twenty minute trip down Highway 61 seemed to last hours. Scenery flew by at sixty miles an hour. His only thought was Neva needed him. He arrived at the store and was relieved to see her car. As he walked toward the door, he saw her. Neva stood near the front window talking to Lainie. She looked up and stared at him for several moments. Lainie followed her gaze. Neva met him half-way.
“I heard about what happened. Were you hurt?” Chandler looked at her from head to toe.
“I’m fine. Really.” Neva cleared her throat. She glanced around to see Lainie and Kenia watching them. “You didn’t have to come all the way out here.”
“Yes, I did.” Chandler stepped close to her.
“I’m taking a break,” Neva said to Lainie who nodded. “Let’s go outside.”
They walked in silence for a few moments into the woods down a path. Chandler wanted so much to reach for her.
“Why didn’t you call me?” He moved as close as he dared.
“No point. There was nothing you could have done.” Neva’s voice of flat.
“Are you sure?” Chandler stopped walking. “Neva."
She stopped with her back to him. She stared ahead as though talking to the trees before her. “I saw it coming, you know. All the time I sensed you had unfinished business in your life.”
“Alise and I are through, but....”
“Frankly, I don’t have time for buts, for you to work out whether you want to be divorced or not.”
“I shouldn’t have let Alise manipulate me.” Chandler held up a palm. “Not that I’m putting all the blame on her.”
“If she did it once, she’ll do it again.” Neva turned sharply.
“You’re saying you don’t trust me. Do you think I’m lying about my feelings?”
Neva sighed. “I don’t want to deal with it.”
Her words were like a blow. “That means yes then.” Chandler felt a ball of anger and pain in his stomach.
“You know what you feel.” Neva met his gaze steadily.
“You’re using this as an excuse to break it off,” Chandler said.
“I think you want it both ways, Chandler.” Neva folded her arms. She wore a smile that lacked real humor. “You want Alise to warm you up when you go back to Detroit and me to cool you down here in Louisiana.”
“That’s it!.” Chandler spun around and stalked off.
If he’d had any romantic notions she just cured him of them. I was right months ago. Good thing I got to know the real woman. Chandler tried telling himself he was better off. On his way home, he listed all the advantages to not being involved. Even as he did so, memories of her scent, the feel of her hair in his hands kept interrupting his feeble effort. Chandler sighed. His heart was not listening to his head. He faced more lonely nights. Somehow he would have to get over her.
***
Neva gazed around the understated elegance of Hollis Claiborne’s law office lobby. His secretary, a haughty middle-aged woman, went about her duties. A brass and wood name plate with ‘Bernice Quigley’ sat on the front edge of her desk. Bernice had glanced at Neva as though she wanted to send her to the service entrance. Her whole attitude indicated Neva was impertinent to think she had business here. Neva took perverse pleasure in the possibility she was a source of irritation to this glorified office girl. The phone rang and Bernic
e answered it. After speaking in a low voice, she hung up and stood.
“You may follow me. Mrs. Bellows is ready to see you now.”
She led Neva down a short hall that ended at a set of double doors. Neva resisted the urge to gasp when she stepped into the office. Facing her was an idyllic scene. A floor to ceiling window looked out over a lush lawn where ducks and geese floated on a wide pond. Neat grass spread out like a living green carpet. There were willow and oaks trees. A gazebo was on the other side of the pond in the distance. She knew that down a private street were two large family mansions, one for Hollis the other for his oldest son.
Neva gazed around the office. A large desk of dark wood dominated the room on one side. On the other was an arrangement of chairs around a small conference table. Kate sat at the table. She raked Neva with a head to toe examination. Marian’s clipped voice cut into her speculation.
“Good morning, Ms. Ross,” Marian Bellows intoned
“Hello,” Neva replied as she shook the dry, stiff hand. She forced her attention away from Kate’s icy gaze.
“Come in, Ms. Ross. Tell Bernice how you like your coffee,” Hollis said with gracious dip of his head. He seemed primed to play the southern gentleman.
“Thank you. Cream, no sugar, please.” Neva smiled at the woman’s dour expression. She sat down in a chair upholstered in fabric of rich jewel tones.
“My but it’s certainly hot for so early in the season. Don’t you think?” Hollis took the cup and saucer from Bernice and handed it to Neva himself. “I hope we get rain soon.”
“So do I.” Neva glanced at Marian and Kate. What are they up to? It did not matter, she was ready to play along.
“This has been the driest May for over sixty years I understand.”
“It’s certainly a problem.” Neva was willing to chit chat. Let him think she was unprepared, even awed by them.
“Owen, he works for me– I believe you know him.” Hollis sat down in the chair near Neva on the other side of a small cherry wood table.