by Lynn, Sandi
He sighed. “Look at them, Elle. They’re beautiful. It was my way of being able to be close to you when you weren’t around.”
I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist.
“Thank you. It means a lot.”
He let out a sigh as if he was relieved there wasn’t going to be a battle. I walked over to his bed and slightly giggled, remembering the night I struggled to get his clothes off.
“What’s so funny?”
“I was just remembering the night you were passed out on this bed, and I was straddled over you, taking off your clothes.”
His sexy smile captivated me as he laid himself down on the bed and spread out.
“What are you doing?” I laughed.
“I don’t remember you doing that, and I want to, so I thought you could reenact it for me.”
I bit my lip as I pulled my shirt over my head and threw it on the floor.
“Um, I don’t think you did that.”
I seductively smiled. “No, I didn’t, but I’m going to make it a little more interesting this time.”
I unbuttoned my pants and took them off, throwing them on top of my shirt. I straddled him and slowly unbuttoned his shirt.
“Fuck it. I need you now,” he said. Before I knew it, I was lying on my back and he was on top of me.
* * *
I stayed in the kitchen while Connor went to the elevator and greeted Peyton.
“Okay, Connor, what’s so important that you need my help with?”
I stepped from the kitchen. “That would be me!” I exclaimed.
Peyton shrieked as she ran to me, and we hugged, jumping up and down.
“Oh my God, Elle! I’m so happy you’re here!”
Connor smiled. “I’ll let you two catch up. I’ll be in my office if you need anything.”
I took Peyton to the kitchen and poured us each a glass of wine. We moved ourselves to the comfort of the couch in the living room.
“So, tell me what’s going on with you and Henry?”
She smiled her big Peyton smile and told me they were doing great, and she thought he was going to propose at Christmas. We talked for a few hours before Henry called her and asked her when she was coming home. She took my hands and held them in front of her as I noticed her eyes start to tear.
“You’re my best friend, and I hate that you have to fight cancer again. I want you to know that I will always be here for you, no matter what. You will beat this, Ellery Lane, or I will kick your ass. Do you understand me?”
I hugged her and smiled. “Yes, Peyton, I will beat this because you scare me.”
She let out a laugh and walked out the door. I walked upstairs to find Connor in bed, sound asleep. I changed into my nightshirt and climbed in next to him. I watched his chest slowly rise and fall with each peaceful breath. I envisioned this being my future. I laid myself down and snuggled against him. He stirred and put his arm around me, bringing me in closer to him. It was the perfect end to the perfect day.
* * *
The week went by rather quickly as I visited the soup kitchen and the art gallery. Connor took me shopping and bought me some new clothes. I insisted on paying for them myself, but he just laughed and told me to stop being silly.
While Connor was at the office, I would occupy my time by painting and hanging out with Peyton. Sal called me to let me know that two of my paintings sold and that I needed to paint more. I asked Connor if he bought them, and he just laughed. Before we knew it, Thanksgiving was here, and I was a nervous wreck to meet his family.
Chapter 38
We pulled up the long, winding driveway to the Black family home in Hoboken, New Jersey. I bit my bottom lip as Connor put the Range Rover in park and put his hand on top of mine.
“Don’t be nervous. My family will love you.”
I smiled and took Connor’s arm as we walked up the steps to the grand house. He opened the front door and we stepped inside. The smell of turkey and stuffing filled the elegantly decorated home. There was laughter coming from the other room as a brown-haired boy peeked around the corner of the wall. He took one look at Connor and ran to him, jumping into his arms.
“Hey, buddy, how are you?” Connor smiled. The boy hugged him tight. “Camden, this is my special friend, Ellery.”
Camden looked at me with his blue eyes and just stared.
“Hello, Camden.” I smiled and held out my hand. He continued to stare, unsure of me, and then looked back at Connor. He put both hands on Connor’s cheeks and smiled. My heart melted at that moment; it was obvious this boy loved him.
“It’s okay, Camden. You can touch Ellery.”
He looked back at me and slowly put his hand in mine as I gently shook it.
“Connor, darling.” A woman emerged from the other room.
“Mother, this is Ellery.”
She looked at me and took hold of my hands. “You’re just as beautiful as Connor said you were.”
I blushed. “Thank you. It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Black.”
“Call me Jenny, dear.” She smiled.
Jenny was a beautiful woman who Connor resembled a great deal. She was tall and thin, and with her light brown bob-style hair and green eyes, she didn’t look her age. She looked much younger.
Camden was struggling to be put down as Connor and I walked towards the living room. Everyone in the room stopped talking and turned to stare at us as we walked in. Connor put down Camden as he ran over to a young woman. I felt like I was on display the way everyone was staring at me. The young woman jumped up and gave Connor a big hug.
“Happy Thanksgiving, brother.”
He smiled and kissed her on the cheek. “Cassidy, this is Ellery.”
She turned and hugged me. “I’m so happy to finally meet you.”
I smiled and hugged her back. Her smile was big and her green eyes were full of light. She was exactly my height, and she wore her black hair short and stylish. Connor took me around the room and introduced me to the rest of his family and friends.
Cassidy took my hand. “Come on, let’s see if Mom needs help in the kitchen.”
I looked at Connor, and he nodded for me to go with a big smile on his face that made me miss him already. It surprised me to find Mrs. Black in the kitchen cooking Thanksgiving dinner. Usually the rich have their own personal chefs to do that for them.
“So, Ellery, Connor says you’re an artist,” Jenny said as she basted the turkey.
“Yes, I paint pictures for a small art gallery in New York.”
Cassidy smiled. “I bought one, but I didn’t know my brother was dating the artist. You paint beautiful pictures, Ellery. You’re very talented.”
I was starting to feel more relaxed as she handed me a glass of red wine. As Jenny pushed the turkey back in the oven, she turned to me.
“Connor hasn’t really told us anything about you, so why don’t you fill us in.”
Panic started to set in. How could I tell these people, who I just met less than thirty minutes ago, about my past and present life?
“You have to excuse my mother,” Cassidy said. “It’s just that you’re the first girl Connor has ever brought home, and we just want to get to know the woman who finally managed to steal his heart.”
I smiled as I took a sip of wine. Just as I was about to say something, an older woman walked into the kitchen. She was in her late sixties with black hair and gray streaks running through it. Cassidy ran to her and hugged her tight.
“Aunt Sadie, you made it!”
“Of course I did. I couldn’t wait to see my favorite niece.”
“I’m your only niece, Aunt Sadie.” Cassidy frowned.
“And that’s why you’re my favorite.” Sadie smiled. She turned to me. “Now, who might this young pretty woman be?”
“Her name is Ellery, and she’s Connor’s girlfriend,” Jenny spoke.
Sadie smiled and gently hugged me. “It’s nice to meet you, dear.” She pulled away and looked at m
e with serious eyes—like she was looking into my soul. “You’re sick,” she said. My eyes widened, and fear started running through my body. What did she mean by that?
Jenny looked at her sister. “Sadie, that’s rude.” Sadie looked at me and grabbed my hands, turning my wrists over and staring at my tattoos.
“Forgive my sister, Ellery. She has a bit of a gift and, sometimes, she can be very bold with it.”
“Are you sick, Ellery? Do you have a cold or something?” Cassidy asked.
“It’s more than a cold,” Sadie answered.
Oh God, here we go, and thank you, Connor, for not telling your family ahead of time and for not telling me that Aunt Sadie has a gift. I took another sip of my wine and looked at them.
“I have cancer,” I blurted out. Just like that, without hesitation, I just let the words fall out. They stood there and stared at me. I couldn’t have been placed in a more awkward position even if I tried. Sadie finally spoke up to break the tension.
“This isn’t your first bout with it, is it?”
Holy mother of pearl, I bet she’s going to bring up my suicide attempt next. Great first impression.
I heavily sighed. “No, it isn’t. I was first diagnosed with cancer when I was sixteen.”
At that point, Connor decided to make an appearance. He heard what I said as he came from behind and wrapped his arms around my waist.
“Her cancer came back recently, but she’s in a clinical trial in California, so everything is good at the moment. She’s doing fine, and she’s going to be fine, so there’s nothing more to discuss.”
His tone was commanding and everyone knew it. I smiled as I pulled him out of the kitchen and into the hallway.
“How could you not tell me about Aunt Sadie?” I asked furiously as I hit him in the chest.
“Ouch, Elle, that hurt.”
“That’s not the only thing that’s going to hurt, Connor Black.”
A smug smirk blew across his face as he looked at me.
“Promise, baby?”
“Ugh, you make me so mad!” I whispered as I turned the opposite way.
He wrapped his arms around me and whispered, “I’m sorry. I never took much stock in what Aunt Sadie had to say. I always thought she was kind of crazy.”
“Your family must think I’m a walking disaster of a human being, and they are probably wondering what the hell you’re doing with me.”
He squeezed me tight. “They love you. I can tell, and it doesn’t matter what they think about our relationship. I love you for all that you are, nothing less, and, for the record, I think you’re a beautiful disaster.”
I laid my head back on his chest and looked up as he leaned down to kiss me. I bit his lip for that “beautiful disaster” comment.
“Ouch, you really need to save this shit for the bedroom, Ellery. You have no idea how much you’re turning me on with all your hitting and biting.”
I couldn’t help but laugh and turned around to gently lick his bitten lip. Dinner was exceptional and the rest of the day went smoothly. Cassidy and I talked about our jobs while Connor sat on the floor and played with Camden. We both stared at them as Camden was teaching Connor how to stack the blocks.
“I’ve never seen my brother as happy as he is right now,” she said to me.
I smiled and looked over at him. “He’s a very special man.”
Just then, Jenny interrupted. “Ellery, how did you and my son meet?”
A smile spread across my face as Connor looked at me with fear in his eyes. I decided to spare him the embarrassment and replied, “We met at a club.”
She smiled. “Well, lucky for him you were there.”
I smiled back and looked at the relief that washed over his face.
Chapter 39
I was leaning over the bathroom sink, washing my face, as Connor was getting undressed. “I loved watching you with Camden today. It was so special and sweet.”
“Yeah, well he’s a pretty special kid.”
I folded the washcloth and put it on the sink.
“Watching you with him made me think of some things.”
I walked out of the bathroom, and I opened the drawer to take out my nightshirt.
“What things?” he asked hesitantly.
“I don’t know; just how good you are with him and…”
Instantly, he cut me off. “I can’t have children, Elle. I took care of that many years ago.”
My back was turned to him, and his words shredded their way through my body. I took in a deep breath and continued to undress and get into my nightshirt. The air that surrounded us changed.
“Aren’t you going to respond to that?” he asked.
I turned around. “Okay, why didn’t you tell me that before?”
I was feeling a little betrayed that he wouldn’t have told me that sooner in our relationship. Maybe he thought it wasn’t necessary because I was going to die anyway.
“I don’t know, Elle. It just didn’t seem to ever be appropriate.”
Then it came. The words only my mouth would say.
“Was it because you thought I was going to die, and it didn’t matter if I never knew?”
The look on his face broke, and anguish washed over him.
“How could you say that?”
I turned to face the window. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it, and anyway, I don’t want kids. With my fucked up family genes, the kid wouldn’t stand a chance.”
He walked over to me, put his arms around me, and pulled me into him.
“Don’t say things like that.”
“It’s the truth. My mother died of cancer, my father was an alcoholic, and now me having cancer for the second time... Think about it, Connor – the child would be doomed the minute it was conceived.”
It killed me to say those words, but it was the truth, and I was being honest with him.
“You’re wrong, and I don’t want you talking like that ever again.”
I loosened myself from his grip.
“Well, it doesn’t matter anyway because neither of us wants kids, so end of discussion.”
I walked over to the dresser and grabbed the lotion bottle.
“Does it bother you that I can’t have children?”
“No, and like I said, it’s for the best anyway.”
I was lying. It did bother me, and it bothered me that he didn’t tell me. I braced myself as I asked the next question.
“Why did you do it, Connor?”
He took in a sharp breath. “Do you really want to hear the answer to that, Elle?”
I didn’t, but I did. I needed to hear him say it.
“Yes, I do, since we’re being honest and not keeping secrets.”
He swallowed hard and didn’t say anything. I didn’t think the words would come out of his mouth, but my mouth had no problems at all.
“Since you can’t say anything, let me say it for you. You were never going to fall in love, and that meant never having kids, so why torture yourself with only experiencing half pleasure every time you fucked a woman when you could experience the whole natural pleasure and not have a worry in the world, except being ignorant about STDs.”
His face fell and anger grew in his eyes. He was genuinely pissed at what I said.
“I’m not even going to respond to something as fucked up as that!” he yelled. He continued his rant. “You’re pissed that I can’t have kids? Aren’t you the one who said she doesn’t believe in happily ever after and fairytale romances?!”
All I could think about as he was yelling at me was how, since meeting him, he’d changed all that for me, but obviously, I didn’t do the same for him. I walked over to the floor where I left my pants and pulled them on.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” he yelled.
“I’m not staying here tonight. You’re a dick, and I don’t want to be near you right now.”
“I’m a dick?” He laughed. “You’re the one being a bitch and overreac
ting about me not being able to have kids.”
Did he just call me a bitch? I spun around.
“I’m a bitch because you didn’t tell me about this sooner?!”
The anger and darkness now consumed his eyes.
“You really want to go there, Ellery, about not telling each other things?”
He was now bringing up the cancer, and he was hitting below the belt.
“I regretted that from day one, and you know it!” my voice was yelling. “How dare you throw that in my face?!”
“Then, I guess we’re even!” he yelled.
Oh, he shouldn’t have said that. My blood was boiling, and my veins were pulsating full of anger.
“Maybe it’s best you stay in the guest room tonight, until we both cool off.”
I spun around and pointed my finger at him. “I’m not staying in the guest room. I’m going home to my apartment that you so graciously call a ‘box.’”
“Really, Ellery? You’re going to run?” He waved his hand. “Why not? It’s what you do best anyway.”
Tears filled my eyes at his cold words as I stormed out of the bedroom and out of his penthouse. He didn’t come after me, which told me he was really pissed off.
The night air was cold as I looked around the crowded streets of New York. I realized I didn’t have my keys, so going back to my apartment wasn’t an option. I waited for a text or call or even for him to tell me that he was sorry and take me back upstairs with him, but he didn’t. I hailed a cab and had him take me to the nearest hotel. I was weak and exhausted as I laid myself on the bed. I looked at my phone, hoping if I stared at it long enough that he’d call me and tell me he was sorry.
I fell asleep, sprawled across the bed.
* * *
The next morning, I was rudely awakened from an incoming text.
“Where the hell are you?! I went to your apartment and you weren’t there.”
I rolled my eyes and quickly typed my response.
“It’s none of your business where I am. Remember, I’m doing what I do best.”
Within seconds, I received another text.