by Suzi Davis
“Did he? Well that’s not entirely accurate. It’s more that I’ve been waking and having difficulty falling back asleep. But David is often the same way. He shouldn’t have worried you,” Sebastian added disapprovingly. He frowned. “It wasn’t his place to say anything.”
I was surprised. It was the first time I’d ever heard Sebastian say anything even remotely negative about David, besides the fact that he sometimes mumbled in his sleep. Sebastian had sounded almost menacing for a second. I shivered again, dismissing my concerns as just my tired mind playing tricks on me. I tried to focus on the issue at hand.
“But what is it that’s waking you? David’s snoring?” I teased. Sebastian only faintly smiled. He suddenly looked tired and years older than just 19. Every now and again, his eyes would take on a sudden depth that seemed to stretch back hundreds of years like they were right now—it gave me chills.
“Don’t worry about me.”
I searched his eyes for the truth and he abruptly looked away.
“You’re having nightmares too,” I guessed. He didn’t answer, so I pushed on. “I bet that’s what David’s problem is too, that’s why we’re all waking up. It must have to do with the explosion.”
Sebastian hesitated before responding. “David and I have discussed it. We figure it’s some sort of post-traumatic stress. I’m sure it’ll pass with time.”
“Maybe… but what if it’s something else? Sebastian…” I struggled to find the right words to describe what I was feeling. There was a nagging sense of unease building within me that was difficult to explain. “Don’t you find it strange that none of us can remember what happened that day in Greece? And that our memory is so patchy? It just doesn’t make sense. I keep feeling like there’s something that we’re meant to remember. Something important, something dangerous…”
“No, Grace,” Sebastian cut me off with a firm shake of his head. “There’s nothing good in the past to remember. Just leave it alone.”
For a second I was taken aback by his firm, disapproving tone and the sharpness to his voice and eyes. He had rarely spoken to me like this before and I definitely didn’t like it.
“No, I won’t just ‘leave it alone’. Why would you even say that?” I answered firmly, responding to the fire in his eyes with a sudden blaze of my own strength.
His expression immediately softened. I could tell he hadn’t meant to start an argument. He raked his hands through his messy, wavy black hair that was now long enough it curled around his ears.
“I’m sorry, Grace. I’m just tired, that’s all. I’ve given up on trying to remember; I just want to move forward now, to leave the past and whatever mysteries it might hold behind us.”
“I don’t know… it just seems so strange. Doesn’t it bother you that you can’t remember?”
“No,” he answered with a shrug, and I could see that he spoke the truth. “I don’t have the slightest desire to remember those forgotten events and neither does David. We both agree that there must be something that our subconscious minds are trying to protect us from, so why fight that?”
I didn’t answer. I could remember feeling the exact same way right after the accident. As the days passed, it had bothered me less and less that I’d suffered such significant memory loss. By the time we left the hospital in Athens and returned to Canada, it bothered me so little that I had almost stopped thinking about it entirely. But something had changed. Lately, those gaping holes in my memory seemed to be constantly on my mind and it upset me that Sebastian didn’t feel the same way.
“There’s more than just the memory loss Sebastian,” I began, cautiously. He frowned, waiting for me to continue. “There were fourteen other survivors of the explosion, none injured anywhere near as badly as us but we all suffered almost identical memory loss. I’ve been doing some research and it turns out that there were some other strange similarities about the members of our group that I think might be important.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, almost everyone appeared to be in their twenties…”
“Appeared?”
I nodded. “Not a single person had any identification on them.”
“That is a little strange, I’m sure there’s an explanation though.”
“But there’s more. We weren’t supposed to be so deep within the ruins of the Necromanteion, no one’s allowed in there. We weren’t with any registered tour group, they don’t even know how we got in there. And they never found any cause for the explosion—nothing. The fourteen other survivors never had anyone come claim them at the hospital either, no family, no friends, no one. There was no record of them anywhere, like they didn’t even exist. Just like David.” I finished. Sebastian looked puzzled as he contemplated my words. He eventually gave his head a little shake.
“Grace, I think you’re making a mountain out of a molehill here. If it doesn’t bother the authorities or anyone else, why should it bother you? I’m sure there’s an explanation but you don’t need to be the one to find it. I don’t like you researching the explosion, I don’t like to even think about it. I almost lost you that day. I only want to look ahead, to our future. We survived a near-death experience, we’re together, we’re getting married,” he reminded me with a gentle smile, “I have everything I need. Why would I want anything else?”
He pulled me back into his arms and I tried to relax against his chest. There was something about what he’d just said that wasn’t sitting right but I couldn’t quite place what it was. Maybe he was right, maybe it was best to just forget. Perhaps I should just “leave it alone”. I tried to shake the feeling and focus on his warm body against mine, his strong, firm embrace, his delicious, clean scent…
“Are you ready to go inside?” he whispered in my ear. Another shiver slid down my spine but this one was warm and pleasant. I smiled.
“No, we’re not finished just yet,” I told him firmly. I looked up to see a slightly worried expression on his face. I let my hand slide up the side of his neck, gently and playfully twisting my fingers into his thick, dark hair. “You haven’t made me forget my nightmare,” I reminded him.
I expected him to smile back at me but he didn’t, he looked quite serious as he gazed deeply into my eyes.
“I love you,” he said quietly, his eyes steady on mine, his warm hands cupping my face. My heart skipped a beat as he slowly began to kiss me. His lips met mine gently at first, slowly and tenderly kissing me, softly brushing against mine. As always, with just the slightest touch, he had ignited a fire within me. I pulled him closer, kissed him harder, parted my lips eagerly, intoxicated by the taste of him and the heady passion that overwhelmed me. As his hand slid under the thick coat I wore, I easily shrugged out of it, completely unaware of the night’s chill.
With Sebastian and David sharing a room, and the surprising vigilance of the Jensons, Sebastian and I were rarely left alone. I was ecstatic for the opportunity and decided to take full advantage of it, pulling Sebastian down with me onto David’s coat that only partially protected us from the chilly, damp grass. I shivered but Sebastian was immediately beside me, warming me in his arms. His hands gently slid over my cool skin, leaving a trail of heat and desire wherever he touched. I arched my back in pleasure, shifting closer against him, slipping my hands beneath his shirt and pulling him to me.
“We should go inside,” he whispered, his breath tickling my ear and making me bite my lip.
“I don’t think so.” My kisses moved up the side of his neck, reaching his mouth with a passionate hunger that could not be denied. My head spun, the world began to slip away as I became lost in a hazy dream of passion and pleasure, with Sebastian and myself at its center.
“Why do you have to make this so hard?” he groaned softly, his hand squeezing my hip as he gently rolled me away. As he sat up I could see where the dew had soaked into his shirt, causing it to cling to the lean form of his body. His eyes lingered on me, enjoying the dew’s same effect on my thin pajamas. I reluct
antly sat up beside him.
“Why do you have to be so old-fashioned?” I shot back playfully. He grinned back at me.
“Actually, I seem to remember this whole ‘let’s wait until we’re married’ thing to be your idea,” he reminded me. I rolled my eyes.
“I thought you would have talked me out of it by now.” We both laughed. “But seriously… why are we waiting? I can’t quite remember anymore.”
Sebastian smiled at me, his eyes full of amusement and mirth as he helped me to my feet and wrapped me back up in David’s warm jacket.
“I feel like I’ve been waiting for you forever, Grace. And now that I’ve found you… I just don’t want to rush a thing. We’ve got the rest of our lives to be together, let’s just take it slow and savor every moment.”
“Does that mean you’re still refusing to set a wedding date?”
“Yes,” he laughed. I threw him a grumpy look, only half-teasing. “And I’m not refusing, just delaying—for now at least. It makes sense to wait and see how your first year at university goes.”
“I don’t even know if I want to go to school anymore,” I announced.
“Now you’re being ridiculous.”
“No, I’m serious. I know I’m registered to start at the University of Victoria after Christmas but I’m really enjoying assisting the curator at the art gallery and lately I’ve just been feeling like, well… like there’s something more out there for me—for us. Maybe I’m not meant to just go to school, get married, have a career, start a family…” Sebastian smiled at the idea.
“What else is there?”
“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “Maybe if I could remember—”
“Not this again,” Sebastian groaned, but he was still smiling. “Come on, you need to get some sleep. You’re making even less sense than I usually do.”
“Am I really that bad?”
“It’s awful,” he laughed.
“Maybe I should just stop talking then.”
“I couldn’t agree more.” And with that, he pressed his lips against mine, effectively silencing me with a kiss. But in the back of my mind, on the very edge of my conscious thoughts, the shadows of doubt began to stir…
Chapter Two – Familiar
I didn’t go back to sleep that night, I couldn’t. Every time I closed my eyes, images from my nightmare flashed through my mind. I didn’t want to be alone either so I stayed with Sebastian in his room and watched him and David play chess until dawn. Only once the sun had risen above the horizon and the house started to brighten, did I feel safe returning to my room. The strange shadows and sense of unease that had plagued me in the night had been banished with the dark.
After I had showered and dressed, I joined the boys downstairs for breakfast with Mr. Jenson (Mrs. Jenson was away for a few days on a work-related trip). The strong scent of freshly brewed coffee and burnt toast greeted my nose as I descended the stairs. I smiled to myself, Mr. Jenson had obviously been “cooking” again. Sebastian and David already sat around the small, round table in the center of the kitchen, the charred remains of their breakfast before them. Mr. Jenson smiled at me hopefully as I entered. He was all ready and positioned in front of the toaster.
“Good morning, Grace. Sleep well?”
“Not really,” I admitted with a small shrug. “No toast for me, thanks,” I added hurriedly. Mr. Jenson’s shoulders fell. “But I’d love some coffee?”
“Just brewed a pot myself! Let me get that for you, dear.” He smiled, so obviously pleased to take care of us in Mrs. Jenson’s absence that I pressed my lips together tightly to hold back a smirk.
“Good morning,” Sebastian greeted me as I took the empty seat between him and David. He reached for my hand and gave it a quick squeeze, his ready smile warm and his eyes bright. He looked a lot happier now that it was daytime, and I had to admit, I was feeling the same way. Our eyes stayed locked together for several long seconds as I marveled over how after almost exactly a year, he could still give me butterflies with just one lingering look.
“Ahem,” David cleared his throat from beside me, breaking the moment between us. He was smiling as I turned to face him. “Good morning, Grace.” His eyes quickly looked me up and down. “You look exceptionally beautiful today. Are you off to the gallery?”
I blushed uncomfortably at the compliment, it somehow didn’t seem appropriate.
“No, they don’t need me again until Sunday. I’m going to be assisting in the set-up of a new installation piece.”
“Then why must you look so ravishing on a rainy Thursday morning?” David’s eyes strayed once more to the top buttons I had left undone on the thin cream blouse I wore, and the necklaces layered around my throat. Paired with a tight pair of jeans and a pair of heels, it was certainly a lot more fashionable of an outfit than the more casual and comfortable clothes I typically wore at home.
“She’s going to visit her mother,” Sebastian explained, a knowing sparkle in his eye.
“Oh, I see,” David responded. He was still watching me curiously. I turned my body away from him slightly, focusing all of my attention on Sebastian.
“I was hoping you might come with me?”
“I’d love to but I promised David I’d drop him off downtown and then I have a few errands of my own to run.” I didn’t bother trying to hide my disappointment. Sebastian smiled. “But we could drop you off on the way and then I can pick you up again later. We could go somewhere for lunch, if you’d like?”
I smiled appreciatively. “That sounds perfect.”
“Grace, you’re not afraid to face your mother alone, are you? I always thought you were so… fearless,” David commented, his eyes both curious and amused.
“You obviously haven’t met her mother,” Mr. Jenson cut in as he placed a cup of coffee down on the table in front of me. He shared a quick, knowing look with Sebastian. “Sorry, Grace, but she really is quite an intimidating woman.”
“So that’s where you get it from,” David commented.
“I am not afraid of my mother,” I corrected firmly. I shot Sebastian a disapproving look but he didn’t look the slightest bit ashamed to be caught grinning. David smiled over his cup of coffee at me.
“Of course not.”
“How is your mother, Grace?” Mr. Jenson asked, politely changing the subject.
“She’s doing well. She’s finally found a new staff member to replace Walter since he quit: a very competent woman named Ellen who has taken over running the household.” I paused. When I had said Walter’s name, a memory had hovered just on the edge of my thoughts almost as if I had seen him recently but I knew that wasn’t true. What was it? I gave my head a slight shake. “And my mother has her sights on a recently-divorced doctor she met at the hospital. They’ve been spending some time together lately, so… who knows what might happen?”
“Well that’s nice,” Mr. Jenson responded. He sounded like he actually meant it too, which only spoke for his kind, forgiving character considering how rude my mother had acted towards both of the Jensons in the past.
“When will you be ready to go?” I asked Sebastian.
“As soon as you are.”
“Alright, let’s get this over with,” I said as I stood.
“I can put that coffee in a travel mug for you, Grace, hold on.” Mr. Jenson swooped in, enthusiastically reaching for my cup. “Does anyone want some more breakfast?”
“No,” the boys answered in unison.
“Thanks though, Don,” Sebastian added.
“Oh, it was nothing really, my pleasure. Now you better get going. You don’t want to make Grace late for her appointment with her mother. I know I wouldn’t want to be!”
“Very funny,” I responded. Mr. Jenson grinned and waved as the three of us made our way out.
Since we had returned to Victoria from Greece a month ago, we had made a few interesting discoveries. One was a mysterious bank account in Sebastian’s name. He hadn’t even remembered the account ex
isted until he received a monthly statement from the bank. He wasn’t sure where the savings had come from but the Jensons seemed to think that his parents (whom he couldn’t remember beyond the fact that they had died a long time ago) might have left him an inheritance. There had only been a few transactions over the years, one to pay my tuition at Craigflower Academy last year when my father had cut me off, and another withdrawal when he had bought his motorbike a few years before that. The real surprise was the remaining balance. The account contained a substantial amount of money. By substantial, I meant it was clear that Sebastian could easily support both of us for the rest of our lives in a way that my mother would certainly approve of… if we wanted. Neither of us had any desire to live like that but it was reassuring to know that money would not be a concern. Sebastian had withdrawn a small portion from the account after rediscovering it, and he had bought a car (since his motorbike had been lost somewhere just outside of Quetico Park in Ontario when it broke down on our road trip last summer). He had also given David some cash to help get him back on his feet while he looked for work and a place of his own in Victoria. Sebastian had offered the Jensons some money too, at the very least to pay them rent for allowing the three of us to stay with them but of course they wouldn’t hear of it. They didn’t truly need it either. Despite their modest lifestyle, the Jensons were actually quite wealthy themselves.
“Shotgun!” David called out as we approached Sebastian’s “new” car. It was a dark blue, two door, 1970 Dodge Challenger that the previous owner had put some real time into fixing up. The boys were constantly drooling over the curved hood scoop, chrome wheels, shiny exhaust and an engine that roared when it gunned to life. It was Sebastian’s compromise since I didn’t want him to get another motorcycle. This old muscle car was supposed to be “safer”.
“There’s no way I’m climbing into the back of that thing.”