by Suzi Davis
“We climbed this tree,” I said quietly as I remembered, my voice touched with surprise. Sebastian nodded, his eyes still bright.
“We did. I remembered today too. I had some time to kill this morning so I decided to come to the park. I wandered for a little while but I soon found myself here—but that’s not all.” He slipped off his backpack at the base of the trunk and linked his hands together, offering me a boost with a challenging grin. “You’ve got to see this.”
The way he said it, I knew it was something I couldn’t miss. I only hesitated for a second, nervous about how high we might climb but if I’d done it before, I could do it again. I gave him my foot and giggled as he suddenly launched me upwards and into the tree.
With Sebastian’s help, I climbed higher and higher into the air. It was surprisingly fun, joyful smiles lit up both our faces. There was more to it, though. There was something familiar, something reassuring about climbing this tree together. My soul felt at ease even while my heart beat ever more quickly in anticipation. I became more tense and excited by the second as my whole body sensed that something was about to happen even though my conscious mind had no idea what it was.
As we reached the highest fork in the tree, we both found spots to sit down. The crook in the bough formed a perfect and unexpectedly comfortable seat, cradling us high above the earth. The whole tree swayed, rocked gently by the wind that was stirring the branches and twisting through my hair. Sebastian leant forward and took my hand, my heart skipping a beat as my eyes met his.
Without saying a word, he moved my hand to the bark near my leg, pulling my fingers over its peculiar texture in a slow caress. My eyes widened, as I realized there were words carved into the tree, each letter formed in such an odd, flowing script that it almost appeared to be a part of the tree itself. The carving had obviously been done some time ago, only parts of the letters still visible as the tree had slowly healed. I could still easily read our names: “Sebastian” and “Grace nn”.
“It looks like you tried to carve my middle name too,” I wondered as I lightly ran my fingers over the letters. “I remember now… sort of. This is our tree.”
“Our special place where we made many memories we can’t remember and had conversations forgotten like they were never spoken,” Sebastian murmured. His voice sounded strange, like he was both happy and sad at the same time. “I have something for you too.” He reached into his pocket as he spoke, felt around and then frowned. He met my curious gaze with a sheepish smile. “I left it in the backpack. Just wait here, I’ll be right back.”
I laughed. “Where am I going to go?”
I couldn’t watch Sebastian climb back down. It made me feel dizzy to look straight down to the ground far below and without him by my side, I felt markedly less safe. Instead, I gazed out over the treetops, admiring the beautiful view spread out before me. The warm, midday sun made the autumn leaves glow in bright tones of amber, gold, even ruby red, the stunning colours sprinkled through the surrounding trees like bright splashes of paint. I could see all the way out to the ocean from here, the water blending with the sky in a hazy mist that made the horizon appear to stretch into forever. The building tops from Victoria’s bustling city streets were also visible towards the border of the park. My heart swelled with happiness at the beauty of it all. I loved my home, I loved my life. Even with my missing memories and the scars that lightly wrapped around my right arm and side, and the one that marked my throat, I truly felt lucky: like I had it all.
I quickly glanced down to see that Sebastian had now completely disappeared from sight, presumably searching through his bag at the base of the tree. A sudden gust of wind rocked the tree, making me grab onto the rough bark around me. I suddenly felt nervous to be up so high in this old oak, all alone. I shivered, chilled by the steadily increasing breeze despite the sun’s warm rays. Another blast of wind made my hair fly out all around me, tangling it in my face as the tree swayed once more.
“Graysssssssssssse.”
The whispered voice in my ear made my heart nearly stop. Icy fear overwhelmed me as I struggled to look around.
The tree continued to sway as the wind incessantly gusted through the branches, howling all around me in a sudden rage. Clouds were swept across the sun, the day suddenly becoming colder and darker. I thought I heard Sebastian cry out below me but his words were whipped away by the howling wind. I clutched onto the tree, my heart beating wildly as the old oak lurched back and forth.
“Graysssssssssssse.” Clear as day, the voice hissed in my ear, riding the violent waves of wind again.
“What do you want?” I cried out in fear, my words torn away from my lips as soon as they were spoken.
The wind seemed to pause, dying down briefly as if considering its response.
“YOU!” The voice roared in my ears along with the wind as a monstrous blast slammed into me, knocking the air from my lungs and tossing me backwards out of the tree.
My terrified scream pierced the air as I started to fall, my hands grasping wildly around me for something, anything, to hold onto. Branches cracked and snapped as my body bounced off them but I continued to fall downwards. An image of Sebastian flashed through my mind and I thought sadly, I don’t want to die. Then… CRACK! My head connected with something hard. A bough? The ground? It didn’t matter, it was over. Peaceful blackness swept through me.
Chapter Three – A Gift
“Grace?” Sebastian’s voice pushed through the darkness around me. He sounded so strange, so far away. “Grace, please. Open your eyes.” Why did he sound so afraid? So desperate? “Oh God, Grace. I’m sorry. I’ll go for help.”
I hadn’t realized his arms were around me until he started to move away, his steady warmth receding. I swam through the darkness desperately, chasing the sound of his voice, terrified that he was abandoning me, that I’d be lost in this blackness forever. My eyes flew open.
“No,” I gasped.
Sebastian was instantly back by my side, his beautiful eyes full of fear, his expression sad and worried.
“Grace,” he whispered, relief flooding through his eyes. “Are you alright? Try not to move.”
I winced, a sharp pain throbbing just above my left ear. I reached up and gingerly felt my skull, my fingers carefully probing through my hair. A large, painful goose egg was already forming just behind my ear but at least there was no blood. I groaned, struggling to sit up. Sebastian realized my intention and slid his arm beneath my shoulders and helped me to sit, his eyes never leaving my face.
“I’m ok, really,” I tried to reassure him, wincing again as I spoke.
“Grace, you just fell out of the top of a tree and hit nearly every branch on the way down. You’re not ok, you need to see a doctor,” Sebastian responded. “You have no idea how much you just scared me. If I hadn’t caught you…”
“You caught me?” I looked up at him, his eyes were steady and intense on mine, a shadow of fear still lurking within them.
“Yes.” He glanced up quickly at the branches directly above us, his face pale and serious as he squeezed his eyes tightly shut. “The memory of you falling is going to haunt me for the rest of my life. I don’t think I’ve ever been so afraid,” he whispered.
I reached out and gently stroked his face. “It’s ok. I’m ok, a little bruised and banged up, and I might have given myself a concussion but nothing’s broken, I think.”
Sebastian opened his eyes, studying me seriously for several long seconds.
“That wind came out of nowhere. I never would have left you if I—”
I let my fingers slide over to rest lightly on his lips, silencing him. “I know.”
He reached up to take my hand, gently kissing my fingertips before entwining his fingers with mine. The wind began to rise again beneath the trees, stirring my hair and sending shivers down my spine. A single leaf became caught in the breeze, twisting and tumbling in the wind, down, down, down. I shuddered.
“Sebastian… it w
asn’t just the wind that made me fall,” I announced quietly. He frowned back at me, obviously confused by my hushed and serious tone. “Something strange happened. The wind… it wasn’t normal; it felt supernatural. I know this is going to sound crazy but right before I fell, I swear the wind was whispering my name. And when I did fall, well, it felt like I was pushed out of the tree. I’m scared, Sebastian,” I confessed. Sebastian’s eyes were wide. He looked shocked.
“Don’t be scared,” he murmured as he carefully took me in his arms. “Grace, you’ve been through so much lately. I don’t think you’ve given yourself time to process it all. Even if your conscious mind can’t remember the trauma we went through in Greece, your subconscious obviously does—with the nightmares, and now hearing voices… Grace, I really think you should talk to someone about this.”
I pulled back from him, confused. “I am. I’m talking to you.”
“I mean a professional, Grace.”
“You don’t believe me,” I whispered, the sudden hurt choking my throat. “You think I’m crazy.”
Sebastian slowly smiled back at me. “That would certainly be the pot calling the kettle black.”
I tried to smile at him but I couldn’t. He sighed.
“Grace, post-traumatic stress is a common disorder with some very real and serious symptoms. I don’t think you’re crazy but I am worried about you and I think it would be a good idea for you to meet with a counselor or someone, even if it’s just a one time thing.
“I know just how confusing and terrifying this is for you. My nightmares have been worse lately too,” he reluctantly confessed. He hesitated and then slowly continued. “In my dreams, I do these horrible things: I hurt people, Grace, I beat them, I torture them, I enjoy it. I’m myself but I’m not myself. I’m evil. And then I wake and I’m so confused. Sometimes, it’s like I can’t remember who I am or what’s real.”
I stared at him in mute shock, so glad that he was finally talking to me about his dreams but so scared by what he was saying.
He shrugged. “Maybe we both need to talk to someone,” he admitted. “But first, we need to get you checked out by a doctor.”
His voice was surprisingly firm, Sebastian wasn’t typically this bossy with me. I knew he must really be worried. I slowly nodded my agreement, then immediately regretted the action. My head swam with pain, the large goose egg on my skull throbbing mercilessly. I squeezed my eyes tightly shut.
“Ouch,” I whispered.
“Maybe I should call an ambulance…”
“No, you can drive me. Just help me up, please?”
Sebastian helped me stand and then propped me against the base of the tree while he picked up a few objects that had been strewn across the ground.
“I was looking for your gift when you decided to try your hand at flying,” he explained with a dry smile as he stuffed a thin blanket back into his bag. “I was quite lucky really; I just looked up in time. I must have better reflexes than even I knew. You sure knocked the wind out of me though.”
“Sorry about that.”
“And you ruined our picnic,” he continued, his eyes searching the ground as he spoke. His expression suddenly brightened as he quickly picked up a small object from the dirt and dropped it into his pocket. He tried to appear casual but my curiosity had been piqued.
“What was that?” I asked. I tried to hide a shiver as the wind stirred the leaves around us. The sun was still hidden behind a cloud and the day was turning cold and chilled as the afternoon wore on.
“What?”
“The thing you just picked up off the ground.”
“It’s nothing. We can worry about that later. We should go get you checked out, Grace. You’re looking pretty pale still.”
“I’m always pale,” I dismissed.
“And always pretty,” he added with a grin. I knew he was trying to distract me.
“What’s in your pocket?”
Sebastian’s eyes sparkled back at me mysteriously, his lips remained firmly pressed together.
“Don’t tell me it’s ‘nothing’. It’s the reason why we’re here,” I guessed.
Sebastian cocked his head to one side. “I suppose it is, or it was… This wasn’t how I pictured this moment,” he muttered, reluctantly pulling the object from the pocket of his jeans. “This is what I came back down to get. I know it’s not your birthday until next week but I had this made for you. Since it was ready today and I wanted to… well, I just couldn’t wait to give it to you.” He shifted, not quite meeting my eye for some reason. I felt like he might be holding something back.
Another gust of wind made me shiver. The air all around me seemed to buzz with electric anticipation so clearly I could almost hear a ringing in my ears; but perhaps it was from the fall. My hair was standing on end. I found myself barely breathing as I waited.
Sebastian hesitated, his eyes scanning over me and his earlier concern returning.
“Promise me I can take you straight to the hospital after this. No more delays?”
“Ok,” I quietly agreed. My whole body was starting to throb and ache, and going to the hospital suddenly seemed like a good idea. But I had to know what he was hiding first. The wind was steadily rising, whipping at my clothes and causing my hair to fly wildly all around me. It didn’t scare me anymore, not here on the ground with Sebastian by my side. I reached out my hand expectantly, a slight tremor to my fingers.
Sebastian dropped a small, coin-like object into my palm. The wind abruptly died, an eerie silence weighed down upon us as the world held its breath.
I gasped as I realized what I was looking at, what I was holding. My eyes filled with tears as I was overwhelmed by so many emotions, my pain instantly forgotten.
It was a small, silver pendant, circular and light. It formed a complex Celtic knot, the thin silver band twisting in and around itself, looping and intertwining to form a beautiful, circular silver knot. The design framed and expanded around the small amber piece embedded in its center. The tiny, familiar, amber heart glowed and sparkled with its own magical light, pulsating warmly in my palm in perfect rhythm with the faint buzzing in my ears and the fading, throbbing pain in my head. I couldn’t stop staring at it, in wonder and in awe.
“It’s a Dara Knot,” Sebastian explained, he sounded almost nervous. He carefully picked the pendant up from my palm and threaded a thin, leather chord through it. “Doire or Dara means “oak tree” in Gaelic. The knot is a symbol for power, wisdom and inner strength. It symbolizes the oak tree, the complex and beautiful balance of power, the way the roots mirror the strong branches, lurking just below the surface in an invisible but vital source of strength. And obviously the oak tree has special meaning for us…”
I didn’t speak. I could barely breathe as he leaned forward and brushed my hair aside so that he could slip the pendant around my neck. It felt unnaturally warm against my skin and unspeakably familiar. He opened his mouth as if to say something else but when his eyes met mine, he stopped.
“When did you do this?” I finally managed to whisper, blinking back my stunned tears. “After you gave me the crushed ring in the hospital, I thought I had lost it. I never thought I’d see this piece of amber again.”
“You did lose it.” Sebastian gave me a crooked smile. “It somehow ended up with David’s things. One of the nurses must have found it and put it back in our hospital room before we left. But then I thought, since your birthday was only a month or so away, that maybe I would have the amber stone refitted into something you could wear. Don and Shauna said there was a necklace you used to always wear, and so I thought you might like another pendant… Was I wrong?” He stared at me intently, his brows pulled down.
“No, it’s beautiful.” I reached up to gently stroked the pendant, my fingers brushing against the small, warm heart at its center. My own heart swelled with love for this wonderful, thoughtful, amazing man. “It’s perfect. Ever since we got back from Greece, I’ve felt like there was something miss
ing—other than our memories. But this makes me feel complete somehow. I guess I missed that necklace that I lost,” I added with a laugh, feeling silly. Sebastian beamed back at me.
“Happy birthday.”
“Thank you. I really do love it. It’s the perfect gift, from the perfect boyfriend.”
“Perfect fiancé,” Sebastian corrected happily. “Now, you owe me a visit to the hospital. Can you walk?”
“Will you carry me if I can’t?” I teased.
“I’d love to.”
And before I could object, Sebastian swept my feet out from underneath me and scooped me up into his arms. I giggled, breathless but was interrupted by his sudden, urgent and passionate kiss. His lips pressed against mine hard, his kiss hungry and desperate, ending just as suddenly as it began. He pulled back just enough so that he could look into my eyes. His dark eyes smoldered beneath his long, black lashes.
“Never scare me like that again. I’d sooner die than see any harm come to you.” The intensity with which he spoke scared me, I’d never seen him like this before—at least not that I could remember. I silently nodded my agreement. His gaze softened, his mouth relaxed. “Good. I love you, Grace.”
“I love you too. Thank you for catching me. And thank you for the necklace.”
“Thank you for loving me,” he replied simply, his tone lighter as he began to walk. “Now let’s go get your head checked out.”
I reluctantly allowed Sebastian to take me to the hospital. I really was feeling much better; my head had hardly hurt at all since he’d given me the necklace. It was already a great good luck charm. Of course it ended up being Dr. Mackey who examined me (the doctor who my mother had her eyes on) and diagnosed me with a mild concussion. He was amazed by my lack of injuries, especially after Sebastian told him how far I had fallen. I was sure my mother would hear the story of my tree-climbing adventures from him, despite supposed doctor-patient confidentiality. I could already guess what she would think of the news that I had been climbing trees in the park. That alone was enough to make my head ache.