by Suzi Davis
“Stop,” I interrupted, my voice firm but without any magical aid. Nathaniel didn’t seem to hear me.
“A few nights ago, we both awoke just after midnight and we both felt… different. Strange things have been happening ever since—”
“Stop,” I repeated. David’s eyes were wide. “You need to leave,” I announced, quickly crossing the kitchen and holding open the door. “Now.”
“Grace!” David objected but I threw him a glare and surprisingly, he backed down.
“It’s you, Grace, we know it’s you,” Jai declared. “You have the answers we’re seeking.”
I shook my head.
“I can’t help you. You need to leave. Now.”
“Please,” Nathaniel joined in, his voice soft but pleading. “Grace, we don’t understand what’s happening but it’s all led us to here, to you. Please, help us—guide us.”
And it was that one word that pushed me over the edge.
“No! Get out! I didn’t ask you to come here. I don’t want you here. Go! Just leave me alone,” I yelled. Tears of fury shimmered in my eyes as I could feel my life falling apart. Between work, planning a wedding, Sebastian acting so strangely, and all these ghosts and spirits and magic… I just couldn’t handle it all. I didn’t want any of this!
They were all staring at me; David’s face was blank, Jai looked shocked, Nathaniel looked disappointed. I refused to feel ashamed.
“Get out,” I repeated in a calmer voice. “Sebastian will be here any minute. You need to be gone before he gets here. I’m not sure what would happen if he saw you but I can almost guarantee it wouldn’t be good.”
My words brought David back into action.
“She’s right. He doesn’t want anything to do with the past. Seeing you here might trigger some of his memories, it could send him over the edge. You need to go, now.” David stepped forward, shoulders back and dark eyes glaring. Even without magic, he was intimidating and commanding. I was relieved that he was presently on my side.
“Please,” Nathaniel whispered, hesitating as he passed me. I just shook my head.
“I can’t help you.”
“I think we’ll stay in Victoria for a while,” Jai suddenly announced from just outside the kitchen door. “We’ll be waiting, Gracelynn.”
And with that, they both walked off. David closed the door behind them and then spun around to face me.
“You remember everything, don’t you?” he demanded with a quiet intensity that made my mouth go dry. I didn’t see the point in lying anymore.
“Yes.”
“Can you restore my memories?”
“I could try, if I wanted to.”
“But you don’t?” he guessed.
“No, not yet.”
“Will you tell me what’s going on at least?”
I hesitated. Maybe it was a mistake, but I had no one else to talk to. Sebastian didn’t want to hear it but I needed someone to confide in. I wasn’t sure if I could do this alone.
“Some of it. I can’t trust you with it all.”
“I see,” he answered haughtily, his eyes and voice growing cold. “And why is it that you get to decide what exactly I should and shouldn’t know? Why should you have so much power over what I can and can’t remember? Who are you, Grace?”
His eyes burned into mine, molten steel clashing with sapphire ice. I found myself speechless, lost in the fury in his eyes.
The kitchen door opened.
“What’s going on?” Sebastian demanded. Sweat clung to his brow and darkened the neck of his shirt. He was still breathing heavily from his run, his eyes alert with adrenaline, darting back and forth between us.
“Nothing,” we answered simultaneously, both stepping back.
His eyes moved to the steaming pot of tea and the four cups that were set upon the table.
“Expecting company?”
“We were going to make breakfast,” David answered smoothly. “Just waiting for you to get back. I didn’t realize you were such a slow runner. Grace, you’ve put an extra cup out.”
It was a frightening reminder how quickly and convincingly he could come up with a lie.
“Oops,” I smiled, shrugging it off as I returned the fourth cup to the cupboard. I could feel Sebastian’s eyes on me as I moved.
“I’m going to have a shower,” Sebastian announced. It felt like he had changed what he was going to say. “Maybe you want to get dressed before breakfast too? I’m sure David can handle the cooking on his own.” Sebastian’s eyes twinkled with amusement. I assumed he was making reference to my complete ineptness in the kitchen or perhaps he was laughing at me—I’d forgotten I was still in my pajamas. Either way, at least he seemed to be in a good mood.
“Maybe I’ll join you in the shower,” I teased boldly, hoping to distract him.
David rolled his eyes and turned his back on us but Sebastian smiled back at me wickedly.
“That’s a hard offer to turn down, but you aren’t Mrs. Caldwood yet,” he reminded me as he pulled me close. I leant against his chest, breathing in deeply and filling my lungs with the light, clean scent that always clung to him, despite his run. “And I know you’re hiding something, you’re an awful liar,” he murmured softly into my hair. His voice was a low, seductive purr. “Do I even want to know the truth? I could easily make you talk, if I wanted to.”
“Probably not,” I whispered back into his ear, aware of David’s still silence behind us. “But I’ll tell you if you want me to.”
He sighed. I shifted back from him to see that his brows had pulled down, a crease appearing between them. Up close I could see the light purple marks shadowing his eyes and the hint of tension to his gaze, as if he were somehow in pain.
“You can have the first shower,” he offered as he let me slip from his embrace. “I want to speak with David privately anyway.”
I stiffened, my feelings instantly hurt but I tried not to let it show. I had known he wouldn’t take me up on my offer, he didn’t want to know anything that might have to do with the past. But I was hurt that he wanted to speak privately with David and not with me. Maybe I deserved that. I had, after all, just been caught trying to deceive him and yet still couldn’t show any remorse for it. He forced me to keep secrets until he was ready to hear the truth.
“Thanks. I actually shouldn’t stay for breakfast, I need to be at the gallery before eight thirty today.”
Sebastian nodded, barely acknowledging my words as he poured himself a cup of tea, a frown still on his face. I left the kitchen with a new sadness weighing upon my heart and a sliver of fear piercing my soul. Jai and Nathaniel could both obviously access the Lost Magic, it wouldn’t be long before their memories returned. I knew there would be others coming to seek out my guidance too—how could I continue to turn them away? What would happen if I did? Niamh had warned me that some of those who possessed the Lost Magic might be dangerous yet they would still seek me out. How could I put the people I loved, my family, my friends, the Jensons and Sebastian in that kind of danger? Could I hide it all from Sebastian? Could I do this without him? And what was wrong with him? Why did it feel like I was losing him, like he was pulling away from me somehow? What was I supposed to save him from and how?
As I reached my bedroom door, I saw something shiny dangling from the knob. It was the charm bracelet my father had given me. The whole thing hung from my doorknob, its one and only charm—the single, silver key—returned to its place.
I wanted to take it and throw it, to scream at the top of my lungs. But instead, I calmly removed it and dropped it back into my jewelry box in my room. I moved slowly and deliberately, my skin crawling with the sensation of invisible eyes on me.
Once I’d gathered my things for the shower, I paused in my bedroom doorway.
“Don’t push me,” I hissed back into the empty room, “or I’ll push back.” And with that, I slammed the door shut, vowing to myself that I would forget about it all. I would not allow the Lost Magic
to push its way back into my life. I would not allow it to come between me and Sebastian. I was getting married in just six more weeks and I was certain that if I could just push through, if I could just make it to that day, once Sebastian and I were married, everything would be ok, everything would make sense again. Perhaps it was a childish belief but I clung to it with all my heart.
I was worried Nathaniel and Jai might show up at my work but they never came by the art gallery, even though I would sometimes think I caught a glimpse of them in the busy Victoria streets outside. The demands placed on me by the gallery’s curator continued to increase but I enjoyed the added pressure and workload; it kept me busy and my mind off my troubles. It also gave me a good excuse to avoid David, and Sebastian too, since they were usually together. Sebastian said he understood the long hours I was putting in at work, and I had to admit, all the time he was spending with David did seem to be doing him some good. He had apparently started to sleep better, and he was starting to smile more even if it was in a bitter, wry sort of way.
No one else came looking for me over the next two weeks; magical spirits and humans alike left me alone. Sometimes I could tell I was being watched, and once or twice I thought I heard my name whispered on the wind but I was able to push it all away. I didn’t want to let the Lost Magic into my life and so I broke my own rule and used the magic to keep it all away. I was starting to think that my bizarre plan might actually work, that I was going to be able to make it to my wedding day without any further setbacks. That Sebastian and I would be together, forever, in the way that we had always dreamt.
There was only a month left before the wedding when my mother called an emergency meeting with Sebastian and I. I was actually grateful for the opportunity, it was the longest we’d been alone together in a few weeks and the perfect excuse to ditch David. Things felt strained between us as we drove in silence over to my mother’s house.
“Are you ok?” I asked Sebastian as we turned onto Beach Drive.
“I’m fine,” he responded politely, his eyes never straying from the road ahead.
The sky outside was gray and overcast. A winter chill had settled into the air and seemed to invade the space between us. I tried to push my anxiety aside.
“You’re not saying much,” I commented.
“Just trying to concentrate on driving.”
“Oh. Ok.” I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. Something was definitely wrong but I didn’t know what to say or how to approach the subject. Ever since the day Sebastian had attacked Clarke, I wasn’t entirely certain of how to tread around him. He had acted so differently that day, sometimes I felt like he was a stranger to me which was bizarre and untrue but still… “I’m worried, Sebastian. I know we haven’t been spending as much time together lately but—”
“I’m sorry,” he apologized. He slipped one hand off the wheel and linked his fingers through mine. I relaxed slightly. “We’ve both just been really busy, that’s all. We’re good,” he reassured me.
“But I don’t even know what you’ve been busy doing.” I wished I didn’t sound so petulant.
“Oh, the usual: helping David look for work, finding a place for us to live after the wedding, arranging our honeymoon,” he added with a grin. The idea immediately brightened my mood. I could tell the thought of our honeymoon had the same effect on him. He squeezed my hand gently, his thumb slowly massaging the back of my hand.
“I didn’t realize you were arranging our honeymoon.”
“I know, it’s supposed to be a surprise. You didn’t think I’d let your mother plan that too, did you?”
We both laughed. It felt so good to laugh together.
“I suppose not,” I admitted, still smiling. As we settled back into a more comfortable silence, our smiles both slowly faded. “What about you though?” I continued more seriously. “How are you doing? I know you don’t like to talk about… what you’re going through but is it getting any better?”
Sebastian immediately frowned. He released my hand to make the turn into my mother’s driveway, the gates sliding apart as soon as we approached.
“I’ll be fine,” he dismissed. He had pulled away from me again, his eyes distant, his demeanor cold.
“Are you still getting headaches? And the nightmares, are those getting any better? And the… confusion?” I didn’t mention his strange mood swings, I didn’t need to. We both knew what I was getting at.
“Don’t worry about me. I’m dealing with it, it’s getting easier. That’s all you need to know—that’s all I want you to know,” he told me gently but firmly. His eyes looked tired again.
“Ok,” I answered quietly. He turned the engine off and got out the car, coming around to open my door for me.
“Come on, your mother’s waiting. Let’s go face this wedding crisis.” He offered me his hand with a smile. I knew he was trying but his eyes weren’t sparkling today, they looked as dark and shadowed as a moonless night.
“Ok, let’s go,” I agreed and I tried to smile back. In the back of my mind, I began to wonder: when did I start having to “try” around Sebastian?
My mother was thrilled to see us, and by thrilled I mean she smiled and was polite towards Sebastian and only criticized my outfit once. The wedding emergency that she had called us over for was all to do with the seating. She had received most of the RSVP’s from the three hundred invites she’d sent out. But now she was trying to arrange the seating so that the most important guests sat near the front and all the right people sat together, and divorced couples (like herself and my father) and other enemies were kept apart. It actually was quite complicated.
“Now, Clarke and his wife, Tanya, were supposed to sit with their parents at table six,” my mother explained, gesturing to the large seating chart that had been spread out over her long dining room table.
“You invited Clarke?” I glanced at Sebastian nervously but his expression was relaxed and completely impassive.
“Of course I did. The Simons are practically family! Miranda and I have become so close over the past year. And we were all invited to Clarke’s wedding,” she reminded me. “Besides, you said you had checked the guest list weeks ago before the invitations were even sent out. If you didn’t want me to invite him, why didn’t you bring it up then?”
I bit my tongue. I couldn’t exactly tell her that the guest list sat as an unopened email attachment in my inbox even as we spoke. Instead, I studiously avoided her eye and gazed at the massive seating chart before us. Hundreds of names were spread out before me, patterned around circles that represented the tables and color coded by importance, or menu preference or relation… I wasn’t entirely sure and I didn’t honestly care. My head swam and the lines and letters blurred before my eyes. Two-thirds of the names I didn’t even recognize, my heart began to sink. Was this really what I wanted? At the head of the chart were mine and Sebastian’s names, seated at our very own table accompanied by David, Sebastian’s Best Man, and…
“Bridgette?” I spoke aloud, interrupting something my mother had been saying. I tapped the name written in flowing cursive, silver ink beside mine. “Bridgette Kaiser?”
My mother glared at me.
“Yes, she’s your Maid of Honor. Grace Lynn Stevenson have you looked over a single thing that I’ve sent you?” My mother spoke softly and sharply, her lips tightening to show the thin lines around her mouth.
“I have but…” I rapidly searched my mind for a believable semi-truth. “There’s just been so much going on lately and I’m still having headaches. My memory’s just not what it used to be. I just… my Maid of Honor? I haven’t seen her since I was sixteen, Mother.”
Her expression barely softened. I glanced to Sebastian for help but he was looking down at the chart, his brows pulled down and his lips muttering silently. My mother’s gaze burned into me for a moment longer before she finally spoke.
“Sebastian has a Best Man, you must have a Maid of Honor to balance the wedding party; it simply won’t
look right otherwise. You’ve said it yourself, Bridgette was like a little sister to you while you stayed with the Kaisers in Berlin. And you’ve kept in touch over the years.”
“Yes, through Christmas cards and the occasional email. I haven’t heard from her in months.” Actually, that wasn’t true. Bridgette had sent me a birthday card and had emailed me several times over the past few months. I’d been so preoccupied with everything going on, I hadn’t yet answered her. I shifted uncomfortably.
“Well, sadly she’s the closest thing to a friend that you have, Grace. She was thrilled when I told her she was to be your Maid of Honor. Her parents have even been discussing flying her out here a few days early so that she might help you prepare. The girl completely adores you, Grace. And she’ll compliment you perfectly at the altar: she’s much shorter and plainer than you,” my mother added matter-of-factly.
We were interrupted by Ellen’s sudden entrance. I couldn’t help but appreciate her timing.
“There are two young people here for Ms. Grace,” Ellen announced, her eyes glaring down her hooked nose disapprovingly at me.
All eyes shifted to me. Even Sebastian looked up, his eyes suddenly bright and focused. Unease crept down my spine.
“Why are your friends suddenly calling upon you at my house?” my mother demanded, obviously annoyed. “I have better things to do than take phone messages for you all day. This is getting ridiculous! Send them away.”
“You’ve been getting calls? From who?”
“I don’t know, they never leave their names,” she dismissed. “Go answer the door and come back quickly—we’re not finished here.”
Sebastian and I locked gazes.
“Do you want me to come with you?” he asked, his voice low, his expression, dangerous. Did he know something?
“No,” I answered, a little too quickly. “I’ll be right back.”