by Suzi Davis
“You don’t know what you’re saying, you idiot. Be careful!” she snapped, her voice cracking through the air all around me. The fog swirled in irritation. “The blame does not lie with the dead, Gracelynn; we’re only trying to help you. But you can’t do this alone and your magic won’t be strong enough without assistance. You don’t know what you’re up against.”
I hated her, whoever she was. I didn’t want to believe her but I sensed that she spoke the truth. And it made me even angrier.
“How can I find him?” I asked quietly, bitterly.
“David, he is the key,” the voice echoed around me. I could feel the spirit’s presence pulling away.
“What does that even mean?” I cried out in frustration.
“Ask him. Ask David Turner to help you. Guide them.”
My jaw dropped.
“David Turner? Is that David’s full name? Does that mean… does he have the ability to use the Lost Magic? Has he been hiding it from me?”
“David… he is the key…”
The voice faded away and the fog thinned around me, the tendrils slowly unfurled and drifted apart in wispy waves. I could feel my physical body stirring, my mind struggling to awaken.
“I’ll find him,” I promised the fading light as darkness crept in around me. “I will save Sebastian. And I will take revenge against those who have taken him from me.”
I opened my eyes to find myself upstairs in my bed. My skin crawled as I realized someone must have carried me there, and that David was the only one likely to be strong enough to do so. I had been left in the dark but the faint glow of light was coming in from under my door, I moved towards it. Slowly and quietly, I crept out of my room and over to the top of the stairs. The Jensons were still awake and were talking downstairs, just beyond my sight. Their hushed voices floated up to my ears.
“We looked through everything in his room and Grace’s. There’s no sign of a note or any indication that he was planning on harming himself or running away,” Mr. Jenson murmured.
“The police won’t do anything until he’s been missing for over 72 hours and even then, he’s considered an adult now… Oh, Don, I’m so afraid.” Mrs. Jenson’s voice was strangled as if she were fighting tears.
“It’ll be ok, Shauna. We need to be strong—for Grace. Just imagine what she’s going through. She didn’t even know how bad he’d gotten. Perhaps we should have told her sooner, despite his wishes.”
Yes, you should have, I thought bitterly, but my anger was only half-hearted. I couldn’t blame the Jensons. I knew they loved Sebastian as if he were their own son. They had only done what they thought was right. They had only done what he asked. And in truth, I had realized for some time that something was seriously wrong with Sebastian. I had just been trying to ignore it, trying to pretend everything was going to be fine. I think Sebastian and I had both wanted to believe it, even if we never truly had. Fear chilled my heart as I recalled the spirit’s warning, that I should fear not just for his life but for his very soul. The situation was much more dire than any of us had realized. How would I find him? How would I save him?
“Hear anything interesting?” David remarked from behind me. He spoke in a low, soft voice but even so, I scowled, holding a finger over my lips. The voices below us had fallen silent. “Come,” he whispered, gesturing for me to follow. Warily, I tiptoed after him down the hall to the room he shared with Sebastian.
He sat down on his bed, I sat on Sebastian’s. We stared at each other in silence, both expressionless, both waiting for the other to speak. Finally, I could take it no more.
“I’m tired of playing these bullshit games, David. I need the truth. I want you to tell me the truth.” I released a thread of magic, weaving it around my words to ensure that he could not disobey them. It made me angry that I had to resort to using magic but my choices were limited, my hands bound. I would do anything and everything to get Sebastian back.
David’s expression didn’t change for a second.
“The truth for the truth,” he finally offered. I nodded my agreement.
“Do you know where Sebastian is?”
“No. The Jensons are worried that he might have harmed himself or run away but, I don’t think he did.”
“He didn’t,” I stated flatly. David tilted his head to one side curiously but I didn’t pause. “How much of the past do you remember?”
He opened his mouth as if to speak and then closed it again. He shrugged.
“Not much.”
“How much? Tell me exactly what you remember.”
His eyes narrowed, his gaze hardened. He began speaking slowly, as if I were somehow dragging the words from him.
“It didn’t take me long to realize that the nightmares we’ve been experiencing since the explosion contain elements of truth. There are memories tied into them. It was just separating fact from fiction that was the problem.”
“But you have?”
“I’ve made educated guesses,” he conceded. “Then a few weeks ago, something changed. I know there’s darkness in my past, I think we all have secrets that might be better to remain hidden, but I no longer fear the truth. With acceptance comes power. Once I really and truly wanted to remember… I did.”
That was when the realization struck me; he could use the Lost Magic again. I had awoken the ability within him, he was one of those that I was supposed to guide, despite the fact that he hadn’t really sought me out. David could use the Lost Magic, of that, there was no longer any doubt.
“How much do you remember?” I repeated. I was gathering the magic within me as I spoke, ready to defend myself if need be, ready for anything.
He leant forward on his bed, his eyes burning intensely into mine. Despite myself, I couldn’t help but be aware of how attractive he was, his angular features, his solemn eyes, his tall, muscled frame. An electric energy filled the air, flowing freely between us. I tried to calm my heart but it seemed determined to steadily rise to a wild and nervous pounding.
“I remember too many things; too much for just twenty years or however long I’m supposed to have lived. I can’t remember my family but I do remember my friends, Sebastian and several others. The two who came looking for you, Nathaniel and Jai: I’m sure I knew them once before.” He paused to study my expression but I kept it neutral, careful to give nothing away—for now. I was secretly relieved to hear that he hadn’t remembered everything yet, but what he had remembered might still be too much.
“I remember being powerful. I can remember feeling invincible, immortal almost. There was a time when I was an unstoppable force. I remember some of the horrible things that I have done and experienced, and it makes me wonder why I only now feel guilt? I’m certain that I’ve never felt it before but I should have. I should have lived every day in horror at what I had done, my every move shadowed with remorse and regret. It makes me afraid to remember who I once was that I should feel no shame, no sorrow at my actions. Some of the things I’ve remembered…” His voice trailed off. He squeezed his eyes tightly shut as if blinding himself to the horrific memories. Slowly, he reopened them. His face was pale, his expression solemn.
“I can remember loving Sebastian as my closest ally and brother—both in the past and now. And I remember hating him as my most bitter enemy once, as well. I can also remember hating you with such angry, bitter passion it terrifies me… but I don’t know why I should have hated any of you?” His voice was cool and detached, a cold curiosity for the truth and nothing more. I wasn’t sure how to respond.
“Now will you answer my questions?” he asked.
“Some.”
His lips tightened but he didn’t object. Surely he had expected no less.
“I remembered a girl,” he began slowly, his eyes studying my face. His cold curiosity was gone and had been replaced by a soft and reverent passion. “I don’t know who she is. I can’t remember her name or her face, just that I loved her. I worshipped her. But I wronged her, I know it. Who
was she? Tell me her name.”
I blinked rapidly. It was the last thing I had expected him to say.
“I don’t know. I never knew there was a girl you loved… Sebastian might know but he knew you so much longer than I did. We only ever met twice: once in Ireland and once in Greece, in Thessaloniki and at the Necromanteion, on the day of the explosion.”
He scrutinized me through narrowed eyes and then finally he nodded.
“I don’t remember traveling to Ireland at all or ever having met you before Sebastian introduced us in the hospital in Athens. Why can’t I remember much of what happened before the explosion? I know that you know.”
“Because I erased all of our memories,” I answered without hesitation. Surprisingly, David took this in stride as if I were just confirming what he already knew or at least had suspected.
“How?”
This time I paused.
“With magic,” I finally answered.
“And I used to be able to use this magic as well?”
“Yes. We all did. But you and your friends were dangerous. Sebastian and I were trying to stop you and we took away your powers—all of our powers,” I corrected.
David considered this.
“How long have I been alive for?”
“I don’t know exactly. Once again, Sebastian would be able to tell you more.”
“If you had to guess.”
Again I paused, unsure of how he would react.
“At least several hundred years. Maybe a thousand, maybe more.”
He stared at me, silent but unfazed.
“You still have powers,” he stated. “I can feel it. You have bound me to speak the truth and I can’t make a single false word cross my lips. How did you do that?”
“It’s complicated. But enough of this. Do you want your memories back?”
“The ones you stole from me? Yes.”
I briefly winced at his choice of words.
“I will restore your memories but I will need you to make me some promises first. I will bind you to your words with magic; you will not be able to break these promises,” I warned. I felt uncomfortable doing this: I knew it was wrong to control someone else this way but how else could I trust him?
“What do you want from me?” he asked suspiciously.
“I will restore your memories and with them, I think you will be able to control your own magic again. But I will only do this if you promise you will help me to find Sebastian and if you promise you will not harm me or Sebastian or anyone else.”
“No,” he answered immediately. “What if I need to protect myself?”
“Fine. Promise you won’t harm me or Sebastian or anyone I say is a friend.”
“No.” David’s eyes gleamed. “I won’t harm you or Sebastian or anyone who Sebastian tells me is a friend. Even though I remember hating him once, I also remember loving him as my brother. Sebastian I know, Sebastian I trust. You, I no longer can.”
I glared back at him. It was almost a relief not to have to pretend to be friendly anymore.
“Not good enough. It might take us some time to find Sebastian and I won’t have you hurting whoever you want along the way. Promise you will only harm another person if you must do so in defense of your own life. Say it out loud and I will bind you to your words. I want to be able to trust you. I want you to keep your promises.” The magic flowed through me as I spoke, my words echoing slightly about the small bedroom. David lifted his eyebrows but he didn’t further comment.
“I swear I will help you to find Sebastian. I swear I will not harm you or Sebastian. I swear I will not harm any person unless I must do so to defend my own life. Satisfied?”
“For now.”
“Now give me my memories back.”
“I will but I can’t give them all back to you.”
His eyes flashed with anger. He jumped to his feet, leaning towards me menacingly. Suddenly, I remembered how he had nearly slit my throat in the Necromanteion, and despite the vows he had just spoken not to harm me, I still felt a sliver of fear pierce my heart. A soft gasp escaped my lips before I could stop it.
“Don’t break your word to me, Grace, or I might find cause to break mine.”
“You can’t break your word but that’s beside the point. I can’t give you all of your memories back at once because it would kill you,” I explained. He slowly sat back down, his eyes throwing daggers. “I did it to Sebastian once by mistake. I didn’t realize what I was doing and I thought I was helping him by making him remember everything but it only made things worse—more nightmares, spells of confusion, headaches that would make him bleed from his nose and ears—it was slowly killing him. I can’t make you remember absolutely everything but I will give you back your clearest memories, the ones that would have meant the most to you. The rest will be there too but they will be fuzzier, less focused and harder to dredge up from your subconscious. It’s the best I can do.”
“Fine. Do it.”
“It will probably hurt,” I warned him. “And once you remember… you’re probably going to be angry. You’re going to hate me, and most likely Sebastian too. You’re going to be a very different person.”
“I doubt that,” he dismissed. “I’m already very angry with you, Grace, and as I said, I don’t trust you. But I can’t imagine hating you again, not now after all the time we’ve spent together. And Sebastian is… he’s like family to me. He’s all I have. I couldn’t hate him, no matter what. And besides, what do you have to fear? I made you those promises, as you asked.”
“Yes but…” How could I explain to him just how evil, how dangerous he once was? I supposed it didn’t really matter. He’d remember himself in just a few minutes. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?”
“Yes.”
“You definitely want, more than anything else, to remember your past?”
“Yes,” he answered impatiently, not understanding that his own desire was an important part of the spell.
I grabbed my necklace, squeezing it tightly for strength and courage while allowing the wild torrent of magic to flow through me and flood into David’s mind.
“Then remember, David Turner,” I whispered.
David’s eyes flew wide open as my words and magic reached him. For a moment he just looked shocked and then his face crumpled, his whole body curled up and slid to the floor, writhing in silent pain. For that I was grateful, his screams would surely have brought the Jensons upstairs to investigate. It only lasted for a minute and he only made one noise, a quiet, strangled moan as a single drop of blood trickled from his nose.
It felt strange just to sit back and watch but I knew that there was nothing I could do. I anxiously waited for his body to still, for his eyelids to flutter, then open. His gray eyes stared straight up into mine.
“You,” he fumed. His eyes were bright with anger and recognition.
I swallowed nervously, trying to hide my fear. There was no doubt that he had remembered, that the spirits had given me his true name after all.
“Hello, David Turner,” I answered calmly.
“Never call me that again,” he warned. He slowly sat up, dabbing the blood at his nose. He looked furious.
“I take it you remember me now?”
“You’ve gone too far this time, Caoilinn.” He rose threateningly as he spoke.
“Sit down. You can’t hurt me,” I reminded him.
“Can’t I? But I want to so badly,” he purred, showing me a terrifying smile.
And that was when I felt it, his magic pushing against mine, his will trying to manipulate me. He was desperately trying to take back the vows he had spoken just minutes before. He was trying with all his will and all the magic at his disposal to break the bonds that tied him to me. I knew he wouldn’t be able to find a way out of it but I was still shocked and a little afraid. It was confirmation of what I had feared. Not only did he have a natural ability to use the Lost Magic but now that his memories had been returned, he could c
ontrol his magic just as easily as he ever had. David would need little guidance, little training; he was almost as powerful as me.
“Stop trying to use magic against me—it won’t work.”
“What are you talking about?” David snapped. His efforts abruptly stopped. I knew it had been him, there was no doubt in my mind, but either he was trying to cover it up or he had been unaware of what he was doing. Either way meant trouble. David was definitely back and he was just as dangerous as ever.
“You can use the Lost Magic again. That’s why I restored your memories and that’s why I need you to help me. I think someone else who controls the Lost Magic has taken Sebastian.”
“I thought you took the magic away from everyone and then destroyed it?”
“Yes, well, it didn’t work out exactly as I had planned. I’ll explain it all later but right now—”
“You will explain it now,” David interrupted, his voice icy cold. “I realize that I am bound by your deceitful magic to help you, but how will I be of any use if I do not understand exactly what it is that I am up against?”
He had a point.
I fidgeted impatiently. I was eager to start looking for Sebastian but he was right, he needed to know.
I explained to David as quickly and simply as possible about how my attempt to destroy the Lost Magic had failed, how I had awakened the natural, dormant ability within people around the world and how they were now all my responsibility because of the hasty promises I had made before the spirits in the Necromanteion.
“Then where are all the others who should have come flocking to you? Was it just Nathaniel and Jai you sent away, or were there more?” He smirked when I didn’t immediately answer. “Let me guess. Selfish Caoilinn, always thinking of yourself—you don’t want to help them, do you? They’re inconveniencing you and complicating your relationship with Sebastian, so you thought you’d just leave a group of extremely powerful near-immortals with no control or understanding of their abilities to their own devices? Bloody brilliant,” he spat at me, reminding me for a split second of Mags. I gave my head a quick shake.