“You aren’t saying anything. Does this mean I’m fired, or do you want her number?” Betsy asked.
“What is Shannon doing living with her father?” I asked, and immediately regretted it.
“She just returned from overseas a few days ago.”
“Where was she?” I couldn’t believe I was actually asking Betsy to continue this conversation. Part of me needed to know, and the other part knew this was a bad road to travel down. I just couldn’t stop myself.
“I’m not sure, I’ve lost track. Shannon works as a pediatrician volunteering her time in some of the poorest countries. I mean, she’s like a walking angel,” Betsy said with a giggle. “Not your type at all, but I know for a fact she’s free for dinner tonight.”
It figured that Shannon would do something amazing with her life. She was a loving, giving person even when we were teenagers. That’s why I had fallen in love with her. And that is the same reason I shouldn’t do this.
“How do you know she’s free?” I asked, trying to talk myself out of it, but failing miserably.
“I know she’s free because she’s having dinner with me. But I’m willing to let you stand in for me. I mean, since you’re such a wonderful boss and all,” Betsy said with a grin.
I ignored Betsy’s comment. She wasn’t going to provoke me again. Right now, I only wanted to think about Shannon. Dinner? It could work. We could spend an hour or two and catch up on what has been going on for the last twelve years. The tricky part would be asking her about her father. She must have known how much I despised that man.
As far as I could see, I probably wouldn’t gain any insight to the towers from the Hamel family. But it was one dinner and if nothing else, at least I’d get to see Shannon again.
“Where were you meeting her?” I asked.
“Lobster Hut at eight,” Betsy said with an infuriating twinkle in her eye. “And don’t be late. Shannon hates to be kept waiting. Oh, she’s also about my height, but blonde with blue eyes. I’ll email you a picture so you know what she looks like.”
Lobster Hut wasn’t a place I’d take the only woman I’d ever truly loved out on a date, but this wasn’t really a date. I also wasn’t out to impress her. If I did want to impress, I know where I’d bring her. Shannon loved the mountains, or at least she used to. I can’t stand them any longer. All they are to me now is a location with poor cell service.
“Will you tell her you’re not going?” If they were actually friends, I can’t believe Shannon would accept Betsy’s change of plans without warning. At least not the Shannon I used to know.
“Nope. No need. Besides, I’ll be seeing her tomorrow. We’re going to the theatre.” Betsy gave me a wink and added, “Unless you decide you want to go with her to that, too.”
I growled, “Why do I keep you?”
Betsy laughed. “Because everyone else quits within a week.”
That was true, but it was because they couldn’t deliver what I asked. Betsy, on the other hand, can usually anticipate my requests. A dinner with Shannon sure in hell wasn’t one of them, but after the day I’d had, I had to admit it was nice to have something to look forward to.
When she left my office, I opened my drawer and pulled out another cigar. Smoking wasn’t allowed in the building and I sure in hell wouldn’t tolerate any of my employee’s doing it. But I own the place and I’m the only one allowed to break them. As I spun around to look out the window again, thoughts of Shannon flooded my mind. Everything about her, from her toes to her lips, haunted my dreams for years. I knew there never would be anyone like her again. The feel of her, the scent and the taste of her, were all fucking embedded deep within me. We had been each other’s first lover, and I had thought she’d be my only. Not a day had gone by that I hadn’t thought about being buried myself deep inside her, telling her how much I loved her and promising to give her the world someday. It felt like ages ago, and still, just hearing her name, made my cock ache for her.
Damn it!
That was all in the past. When it ended, I thought my life was over. Thankfully over the years I stopped wanting her, stopped dreaming of the family we could’ve had, even if she never completely left my mind I was happy being a bachelor, and once I got into the towers, I’d enjoy it even more. Someone like Shannon didn’t fit into the equation.
I heard the chime on my laptop and I knew it was Betsy emailing the photo. I didn’t even bother reading her message. It wouldn’t matter how many years passed, I’d know Shannon anywhere. I hit delete and turned back towards the window.
If only everything could be erased as easily.
I needed to stay focused. This wasn’t about catching up or rekindling an old flame. I wanted information about the Bachelor Towers. Now all I needed to do was convince my cock of that.
Fuck. This is going to be a long-ass day.
Chapter 2
Shannon
What the heck is he doing here? The last time I saw Jace Goldstein was twelve years ago. It was a day I’d prefer not to recall. He was the only man who’d ever broken my heart, and even now I’m not sure I’ve fully forgiven him for it.
Keep walking. Don’t look this way. Praying wasn’t out of the question, but I didn’t need a miracle. Not to deal with Jace. He’d never tried calling or contacting me before, why would he bother now? Even if he noticed me sitting here, he’d probably just ignore my existence.
That’s fine with me. I don’t have anything to say to him. Well, maybe, “Fuck you, asshole.”
The anger and hurt still left a bad taste in my mouth but I didn’t let it define or control me. Instead I used all that negative energy and used it to focus on myself. But in the back of my mind, the driving force was to show him that I didn’t need him to be happy.
Come on, Betsy. Hurry up and get here. She’s the one person I had confided in about what transpired between Jace and me all those years ago. She knows that I loved him and he…he just walked away without any explanation. Hell, if I let Betsy know Jace was here, she’d probably march over to his table and chew his ass out for breaking my heart, and she definitely wouldn’t care who in the restaurant heard. I’m not that bold. Never have been.
The best thing I could do in the moment is pretend I didn’t see him. Staring intently at the pattern on the wallpaper was the best option right now. I almost feared that my breathing would draw his attention, but it was caught in my throat anyway as his image burned in my mind.
How the hell was it that he was even sexier than he’d been when we were young? Jace used to wear his hair in a short brush cut, but he’d never been able to grow decent facial hair. Well, that wasn’t the case any longer. I could picture myself running my hands through those gorgeous locks of his, and I’m sure that beard would tickle the inside of my thighs so sweetly.
If everything on him has matured, I wonder what his cock looks like.
The last thing I need right now is to get all hot and bothered in a restaurant. But Jace looks like he could be a cover model. A hot, sexy Speedo model.
My heart was pounding out of my chest. I’ve moved on, been with other men, but damn, that man knew how to use his cock. Then again, he wasn’t so bad with his tongue, either. He had a way of making me forget my home life, one based on control. Nothing existed when I was with him, except for the two of us. That’s why I was devastated when he left. I felt…abandoned and trapped. That’s why I went away to college, just to escape.
I hated to admit it, but home had become the last place I ever wanted to be. Even now, I can only be there for a few weeks at a time. Every new foreign country is more appealing to me than living with my father.
He wasn’t abusive, at least not physically. Instead, my father would find something every day that I had done that wasn’t living up to his expectations. I was, and probably still am, a constant disappointment. Now I don’t even bother trying to please him.
Jace had made me feel…special, perfect. A reality slap showed me that I’m neither. I squeezed m
y eyes closed tightly and focused on the pain that Jace had brought into my life, pushing the memories of pleasure deep into the recesses of my mind. His dumping me had probably been for the best. I never would’ve gone to medical school otherwise. Jace and I had big dreams for a life together back then. Five children, a dog, a cat, and a home with a treehouse in the backyard. Neither of us had given any thought to how we would afford it, but then again, who did at that age? All I knew was that I loved him and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.
That’s not the case anymore. I love my work. I love the children I help all over the world. I love reading a good book. Hell, I even love hot chocolate on a cool night. That’s the extent of my use of that particular four-letter word. “Happily ever after” is for dreamers, and I’m no longer one of them.
A heavy sigh escaped my lips. Examining the wallpaper helped me avoid eye contact with Jace, but did nothing to get him out of my mind.
Come on, Betsy. Where the hell are you?
“I would think you’d rather be looking out over the ocean than at a wall,” Jace said from beside me.
Shit!
Betsy couldn’t be far behind him. She ran late, but never this late. If I didn’t respond, Jace would never leave. That’s the last thing I needed. Turning, without even a smile, I stated, “Didn’t know you liked lobster.”
What the hell, Shannon? You’re daring him to start a conversation.
“I’m more of a steak man,” Jace replied, pulling out the chair across from me.
“I can suggest a few places if you’d like.” Someplace other than here.
“But you’re not at any of them,” he said.
A shiver ran through me as our eyes met. He was looking at me just like he used to. But I’m not that same sweet, innocent girl. “That’s the point.”
Jace had a smug look on his face. “It would defeat the purpose of my being here.”
“Enjoy the seat while you can, because I’m meeting someone.” And Betsy, you’re going to get an earful for being late.
“I know you are. It’s me,” he said with a grin.
Crossing my arms, I said firmly, “I’m meeting my best friend.”
Not even flinching, Jace replied, “That used to be me.”
“That was a long time ago, Jace. Now we are…nothing.” It was the ugly truth.
Jace nodded. “I wish I could dispute that. Maybe I can make it up to you over dinner.”
I couldn’t hold my laughter. “You think buying me a lobster dinner will make up for breaking it off without an explanation?”
“Shannon, I didn’t just walk out. I said goodbye. You knew --”
“Don’t. I don’t want to hear it. You know damn well what you did was wrong.” I had been looking forward to a fun night out with Betsy. I hadn’t been prepared to hash out the most painful parts of my past in public.
“I do. But we can’t go back and fix our mistakes,” he said.
“So you know you made one?”
Jace said, “We make choices. Ending it back then was what was best.”
For you. Not me. “I couldn’t agree with you more. Now if you don’t mind, my friend should be here soon.”
“Betsy sent me.”
No fucking way. Betsy wouldn’t do that to me. Not after knowing how I feel…not felt, about you.
“You’re mistaken,” I said in a firm tone.
“Hate to disappoint you again, but she did. Actually, she works for me.”
Betsy never mentioned working for Jace before. Had she been intentionally keeping that from me? Sure, I’ve been out of the country for more than three years and we have a lot to catch up on, but I still didn’t think she’d send me the one man I hate to have dinner with.
“Let me guess, you threatened to fire her if she didn’t let you join us.”
Jace laughed. “I’m not sure we know the same woman. Betsy doesn’t seem like one who’d cave to such a threat.”
He was right, she wouldn’t. That didn’t explain why he was here and she wasn’t. “Well, what happened, then?”
“You might want to ask her when you go bowling tomorrow.”
I can’t believe he even knows that. Not cool, Betsy. “Trust me, we will be discussing this.”
I had two options. I could get up and walk out, even though I was starving, or I could power through dinner and hopefully do more eating than talking.
The waitress approached and handed us our menus. “Did you want to hear the specials today or would you like a minute with the menu?”
I want to be anywhere but here. “I’ll have the stuffed lobster tail.”
Jace said, “Me as well.” We handed the menus back without even opening them. “Now we can talk.”
We can sit here in silence for all I care. But that won’t get me any answers.
I met Betsy at college. That’s a long time to be friends and then pull a stunt like this. I need to know why Jace would use her like this to get to me.
“Jace, why are you here? And don’t say it’s because you were hungry or felt like lobster.” He used to be able to make me laugh so easily. I’m not in the mood for his jokes right now.
“Betsy mentioned she was having dinner with you. I hadn’t seen you in a long time and thought we might…”
“Catch up? Pick up where we were? Because I’m not interested in either.” I could feel the tension rising within me. Jace had a lot of nerve showing up, even if Betsy had agreed. Was he really so clueless as to what he’d done to me?
“All I wanted to do was talk,” he said.
That was more than I wanted. “You’re about twelve years late for talking.”
Jace nodded. “There wasn’t anything I could say back then. Nothing that would’ve made it easier for you.”
My anger was building, and if I wasn’t careful, this sweet kitten would soon show her claws. But I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he still had an effect on me. “We have a few minutes until our dinner arrives.”
It was obvious that Jace wasn’t as comfortable as he had been a moment ago. Deep conversation hadn’t ever been his strong point. Then again, we had found activities that didn’t require a lot of words, except for “Yeah, baby” and “Fuck yes”.
I could feel the heat building between my legs. It’d been too long since I’d been with someone who could make my toes curl, and after all these years, Jace had probably picked up a few new techniques. Not that he needed any.
Damn, I miss that. But there’s no way Jace and I could just go off to a hotel and have a good fuck and it end there. At least not for me. My emotions are tied to the physical attraction. And since I still want Jace now, it means somewhere deep down inside of me, I still care. That pissed me off even more.
“I wasn’t planning on talking about the past, but if you want to --” he started.
“I don’t.” It didn’t matter what he had to say - it wouldn’t mean anything to me twelve years too late.
“I hear you’re a doctor,” he said.
“Yes.” I also didn’t want to spend the time talking about me.
“I had no clue that you wanted to be a pediatrician.”
Neither did I. “People change.”
“Betsy told me you travel all over the world,” he tried.
“Seems Betsy has kept you informed.” I’m going to need to watch what I say to her from now on.
“Actually, today was the first time she’d ever mentioned your name to me.”
That was hard for me to believe. Betsy wasn’t good about keeping her mouth shut. But if that was true, then she might just survive our little talk later. “Why did my name come up now?”
I could see something in his eyes, a slight hesitation. Was he trying to hide something from me? Whatever it was, I didn’t care.
“I believe Betsy was trying to set us up on a…date. She’s not aware that we…know each other already.”
Know each other? You were my first lover. I think that’s more than jus
t knowing someone.
It appeared that Jace had no clue that Betsy and I are best friends. Of course, she never bothered to tell me that she worked for him, either. Might have misjudged you, Betsy. You’re not the bigmouth I thought you were. But definitely an instigator.
“And you didn’t bother to tell her?”
“I saw no point in it. I mean, if you wanted her to know anything about me, I’m sure you would’ve informed her already,” Jace responded. “Does she know about me? About us?”
He wasn’t about to turn the questions back on me. No way. “That doesn’t explain why you accepted her offer. I’m sure you knew that I had no interest in seeing you again.”
“With good reason, too. But that didn’t mean I didn’t want to see you. I’m glad to see that you’re --”
“Happy. Just not as happy as I was before you sat down.” Not sure ‘happy’ truly described me, but my life was full of things I enjoyed. Helping others made me feel fulfilled. I had a purpose in life, a good one. There was nothing between me and happiness. There just seemed to be something missing and I couldn’t ever figure it out.
“I’m not here to ruin your evening.”
“Don’t get full of yourself,” I laughed harshly. “I’m very capable of getting up and leaving you sitting here alone.” I was tempted to, but part of me didn’t want to say goodbye just yet. I wish I didn’t miss him, but I do, and it sucks.
“I’m glad you haven’t. I’m…very sorry for how things ended between us. I guess that apology is long overdue.”
“And not necessary. If you hadn’t left, I wouldn’t be where I am now. So maybe I should thank you.” For ripping my heart out and stomping on it.
“This is obviously a sore subject. Maybe we can talk about something else,” he suggested.
Chuckling, I said, “You think?”
The lobsters arrived, providing something to do other than speak. But this wouldn’t last long. Eventually one of us would break the silence. I needed to be prepared for a quick end to this dinner. I’ll never know which was driving my body at that moment, my mind or my heart, but as I took the last piece of lobster meat between my fingers, ready to dip it in the melted butter, I knocked the bowl over in his direction. As I grabbed for it, my hand hit the tall glass of ice water, sending the contents in his direction. and the cold water soaked Jace from the waist down.
Uncontrollable Bachelor (Bachelor Tower Series) Page 2