by Sherry Lewis
For probably the millionth time, she assured herself she’d done the right thing. Sooner or later, he’d have begun to resent her—just as Steven had. He’d look in greener pastures for the kind of wife he really wanted. And he’d leave her.
It’d been painful enough to live through losing Steven, but she hadn’t loved Steven as she did Kurt. Steven had hurt her, but if Kurt stopped loving her, it would destroy her. By leaving now she would save herself from watching his love die.
She smoothed the cover on the bed and crossed to the open French doors, intending to close them before she went downstairs to check everything for the third time. But on the highway, a car slowed and turned into the drive. For one heart-stopping second, she thought it was Kurt, but in the next moment she recognized Theresa’s car. She descended the stairs quickly and pulled open the door just as Theresa reached the porch.
Rushing up the steps, Theresa threw her arms around Abby. “I can’t believe this whole thing. I’m still in shock. Are you going to be all right?”
“We’re fine.”
“How are the kids taking it?”
“Hard, as you can imagine. No matter what he did, he was their father. I’m just grateful they didn’t actually see him die.” She shuddered at the memory of Vic’s death and pulled out of Theresa’s embrace. “I talked to Rachel this morning and she’s already checking into some counseling for them.”
“I still can’t believe you’re not their mother. Why didn’t you tell me the truth?”
“I couldn’t tell anyone. But if I could’ve confided in anyone, it would’ve been you.” Or Kurt.
“You could at least have told me you weren’t married. To think how much I worried about you and Kurt getting involved and all the time— Well, I must’ve sounded ridiculous that night in your driveway when I said those things.”
“You were just worried.”
“I didn’t want to see him get hurt again. I still don’t.”
“How is he?”
“He’s getting out of the hospital this morning. He’s planning on coming straight over here to see you.”
Abby couldn’t see him again. It would hurt too much. “I won’t be here.”
“Abby—”
“No, Theresa. You don’t understand.”
“He told me. But I don’t understand why you’re running away from him now. You’re going to have to make me understand how you can do this to the man you love.”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Do you love him?”
Abby turned and walked into the parlor, but Theresa followed.
“Do you?”
“Yes.”
“Then stay and talk to him. He was so upset when he found out you’d left the hospital I thought he’d leave in the middle of the night, but we finally convinced him to wait until this morning. He wants to work this out with you.”
“Don’t you think I want that? Don’t you think I wouldn’t rather stay here with Kurt than go back to Baltimore? But I can’t, Theresa. I’ve watched Kurt with Brody and your kids since the day I met him. I can’t give him the kind of life he wants.”
“Abby, don’t be a fool. That doesn’t matter to Kurt.”
“Maybe he thinks he loves me now, but in a few years, after he’s had a chance to think it over, he’ll realize how empty his life is and he’ll leave. I can’t go through that again.”
“Look, Jack’s on his way to pick Kurt up now. Promise me you’ll still be here when he gets back.”
She couldn’t stay. If she stayed and gave in, she’d only be setting herself up for heartache. “I have a flight out of Seattle at seven-thirty, and my parents are picking us up in Phoenix. The taxi’s already on the way here.”
“Don’t leave yet. Stay one more day.”
“I have to be back in Baltimore by Sunday.”
Theresa settled her hands on her hips and demanded, “Why?”
“I start my new job on Monday morning.”
“But you two have so much to talk about—”
“There’s nothing to say.” Abby’s throat burned and her eyes stung, and she knew that in a matter of seconds, she’d be crying again.
“Abby—”
“Please don’t, Theresa. I know you mean well, but you really don’t understand.”
“You’re right. I don’t understand how you can walk out on Kurt if you love him.”
“I’m doing this because I love him. I know what he wants and I can’t give it to him.”
“Why don’t you ask him what he wants?”
Abby waved her words away. “I’ve been through this before, Theresa. I know what he’ll say, and I know what he really means. Look, I can’t talk about this anymore. The taxi will be here any minute, and I really need to help the kids get ready.”
Without waiting for a response, Abby squared her shoulders and walked down the darkened hallway into the kitchen. She waited there until she heard the front door close and the engine of Theresa’s car roar to life in the driveway.
She listened to Erin and Michael’s voices drifting to her faintly through the screen door, and her heart shattered. Lowering herself to a chair by the table, she tried to steady her trembling hands, to stem the flow of tears. By tomorrow morning, she’d have lost the kids, Kurt—everything. In two days, she’d return to her old way of life and go on.
In this short time with the kids, she’d grown to love them so completely the pain of losing them nearly tore her apart. Could she love them any more if they were her own children?
She didn’t want to go back to her sterile empty life, to her lonely apartment. She would never have chosen that life for herself, but fate had limited her options.
But Kurt had choices. He could have more children—without her. And because she wanted that life so much herself, she would never deny him the chance to have it. She only hoped this pain would dull sometime soon.
KURT STRAINED against the seat belt, ignoring the soreness in his shoulder. “Can’t you drive faster?”
“I’m already going ten miles over the speed limit. Any faster and I’ll get us killed. Try to relax, would you?” Jack twisted the wheel and brought the car around a sharp curve in the road.
“Tell me how relaxed you’d be if you knew Theresa was leaving.”
“Abby will still be there when we get back to Pine Cove. Theresa’s with her and, besides, the woman loves you.”
“I’m not so sure.”
Jack’s eyes left the road for a second and flicked over Kurt. “It’s obvious to me even if you can’t see it.”
Kurt had thought he could see it once—before she turned down his proposal. How could he have been so wrong? Had he simply seen what he wanted to see? Had he invented Abby’s reactions to him because he wanted so badly for her to love him?
He honestly didn’t know anymore. He did know he couldn’t let her leave without talking to her again and clarifying their relationship in his own mind. She’d run out of his hospital room so quickly the other day that he hadn’t been able to stop her.
He needed to see her again, to look into her eyes and read her emotions. If she honestly didn’t love him, at least he’d know for sure. It would tear him apart, but he’d have to let her go if that’s what would really make her happy.
“Can you please go a little faster?”
“I’m doing the best I can. We’ll get there in plenty of time.”
“Plenty of time for the next Fourth of July picnic.”
But Jack wouldn’t be pushed. “Can we talk about Brody for a minute? I know you’re worried about how he’s going to handle all this, but he actually seemed all right last night. We let the kids make popcorn and watch a movie. He acted pretty normal.”
“It might hit him later.” The ordeal at the cabin and losing Abby, Erin and Michael would throw Brody for a loop. But they’d come a long way this summer, and now Kurt knew how to help his son over the rough spots.
These weeks with Abby and the kids had bee
n good for Brody. Abby had given him unqualified acceptance, Michael had given him friendship, and Erin had given him trust. And he’d slowly realized that Laura hadn’t left because of him. He was starting to believe that her refusal to accept her role as his mother said nothing about him.
Kurt didn’t doubt Brody’s recovery. He did doubt the future he’d seen so clearly that day at Angel Falls—his future with Abby.
Jack adjusted his rearview mirror and let his foot off the gas as they approached another curve. “Between you and me, having Abby around has done Brody a world of good. He needs a mother—”
“I’m not trying to convince Abby to stay so she can be a mother to Brody.”
“I know why you’re trying to convince her to stay.” Jack grinned.
“Then get me back to Pine Cove, would you?”
Jack increased his speed slightly. “I saw Naomi yesterday.”
Kurt couldn’t think about Naomi now. He couldn’t concentrate on anything but Abby and the life she was throwing away.
“She had Jason with her,” Jack persisted. “Sounds like she and Bill have cooled off a little. I wonder if they’ll really get divorced.”
“I hate to see it, but maybe it’s the best thing for them. Whatever they decide to do, I hope they’ll quit using Jason as a pawn.” He craned his neck toward the control panel. “How fast are you going?”
Jack laughed, but he increased the speed a little more. Kurt settled back against his seat and watched the road steadily, as if his concentration would somehow get him to Abby sooner.
The road had never seemed so long, so narrow or so full of curves. He checked his watch again.
Maybe he shouldn’t worry about it. Maybe he should realize that if Abby left Pine Cove without seeing him again, she really didn’t love him. But he couldn’t have been so wrong, could he? He’d felt her response when he kissed her and he’d seen the look in her eyes when they were together. And after everything they’d been through together, he knew she felt the same way he did.
When they reached Pine Cove at last, the car crawled through the center of town. Kurt strained to see every passing vehicle. He couldn’t miss her now that he’d come this far.
Just past the post office, Jack picked up speed again and at long last, Abby’s house loomed into view. But when Jack slowed to turn into the driveway, Kurt’s heart sank. The driveway was empty and the windows stared out at them blankly, shuttered and curtained. The house had obviously been abandoned.
Clinging to one last hope, Kurt climbed the steps and rang the bell. Nothing. He rang again, but got no response. Almost desperate, he pounded on the front door. Shock waves tore through his shoulder, but he welcomed the pain. It nearly matched the agony in his heart.
“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, we’d like to thank you for flying Delta Airlines from Atlanta and welcome you to Baltimore. If you are continuing on with us this afternoon, please remain in your seats. If you are staying in Baltimore, we hope you’ve had a pleasant flight.”
Abby tried not to watch as the airport grew larger. She wanted to ignore the increasing dread with which she faced the life ahead of her and dredge up some feeling that she’d come home. But she felt only emptiness.
She’d spent less than a day in Phoenix. It hurt too much to stay with Erin and Michael and prolong the pain of leaving them. It was better to cut all the strings quickly and get on with her life. In a while, the pain would dull.
By Christmas, she’d probably even be able to visit Rachel and her kids without too much unhappiness. Unless Michael and Erin were successful in convincing Rachel to move to Pine Cove.
Even with Vic gone, Rachel didn’t want to stay in Arizona. She’d told Abby that she needed a clean break, a chance to start over. The kids had liked Pine Cove so much that Abby feared Rachel would actually move up there, which would mean she could never visit them without running into Kurt. Which meant she could never visit them.
Abby pulled her carry-on bag from the overhead compartment and joined the slow-moving line of passengers as it crept toward the front of the airplane. When movement stopped, Abby looked up to see who had halted their progress.
A man in a suit had turned to retrieve his bag, and for a second, Abby thought he was Kurt. But more than once during the past two days she’d imagined seeing him. And more than once she’d had to stop and catch her breath when she realized it was just another man with brown hair and a similar build.
Looking away, she wondered whether Ted would be on time to meet her flight. She’d called from Phoenix and given him the flight information, but Ted ran on some personal clock that was usually twenty minutes slow. And today probably wouldn’t be any different.
She hoped once she saw Ted again she’d feel more normal, that once she got back to her apartment she’d feel better. And that eventually she’d readjust and put the summer behind her and stop imagining she saw Kurt everywhere.
She reached the front of the airplane and started up the ramp to the terminal. Ahead of her, a woman began to move quickly, running into the waiting arms of a man who kissed her deeply. Abby’s heart twisted and she looked away.
All around her, people greeted friends and relatives with wide smiles, and irrational jealousy filled her. She scanned the crowd. Just as she’d expected, Ted was late again.
She reached into her bag for her cell phone before remembering she’d ditched it when she’d left Arizona for Pine Cove. She’d have to get a new one. She looked for a pay phone. At least Ted’s wife could tell her whether he’d even left home yet. If not, she’d take a taxi.
At the edge of the crowd, a man with brown hair and wide shoulders in a plaid shirt stood with his back to her. Once more, her heart leapt to her throat. How long would it take her to stop this painful habit of seeing him everywhere she went?
As she dragged her eyes away the man turned, and his face made her heart thud furiously. He shouldered his way toward her through the crowd. When they were separated by only a few feet, she let her bag slip from her fingers.
“Abby?”
She couldn’t speak, could hardly see him through her sudden tears.
“We’ve got to talk, and this time you’re not leaving until I’m through.” He picked up her bag and wrapped one arm around her waist.
“Your shoulder—” she protested.
“It’s fine. It’s the least of my worries.” Kurt propelled her through the terminal toward a dimly lit restaurant.
Settling her in a corner booth, he sat beside her. She wanted to bury herself in his embrace and never emerge. She wanted to feel his arms around her, feel his lips on hers…
“Abby, listen and don’t interrupt.”
She touched his sleeve and felt the comforting warmth of his skin through the fabric. He really was there. He’d come after her.
“Sweetheart, if you think I don’t love you because you can’t have children, you’re wrong. Yes, I love Brody. He’s the only good thing that came out of my marriage to Laura. But I don’t care if I ever have more children as long as I have you. The only thing I want is your love.”
“You say that now—”
“And I’ll say it in thirty years. I don’t want to marry you so I can have more children. I want to marry you because I love you. Abby, listen to me. I got married the first time for all the wrong reasons, and no matter how hard I tried, I could never make it work. This time, I’m not going to make the same mistake.”
She wanted to believe him. She needed to believe him.
“You don’t marry someone because you want something from them. You do it because you can’t live without them. And Abby, I can’t live without you.”
“But—”
“There are no buts. The only thing that matters to me is you. I could find a hundred women who could give me more children if that’s what I wanted. But children grow up and move away, and a marriage has to last longer than that. I want you. Only you.”
“I can’t believe you’re here,” she breathed.
&n
bsp; His eyes burned into hers and willed her to accept. “Is there anything else? You don’t like Pine Cove? If you aren’t happy there, I’ll move to Baltimore.”
Her tears flowed faster now, but the pain in her heart melted away. “I can’t let you do that.”
“Abby, I’ll do whatever I have to. I love you.”
“You know how miserable you were when you tried to live in Seattle.”
“I was with the wrong woman.”
“And with me you think you’d love the city?”
“I’d love anywhere you agreed to be with me.” He leaned toward her and touched his lips to hers. His arms came around her, molding her against him. He broke away after a moment. “Don’t leave me again.”
She tried to catch her breath. “I won’t.”
“You’ll marry me?”
She could only nod.
“Let’s get out of here.” Standing, Kurt held out his hand to her. “Where do you want to go?”
“Home.” For one long moment, their eyes held.
Kurt nodded. “How far is it?” he asked.
She reached for her bag and slipped her hand into his. “About three thousand miles.”
ISBN: 978-1-4592-0873-5
PICTURE PERFECT
Copyright © 2011 by Sherry Lewis
Originally published as CALL ME MOM © 1994 by Sherry Lewis
All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the publisher, Harlequin Enterprises Limited, 225 Duncan Mill Road, Don Mills, Ontario M3B 3K9, Canada.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
This edition published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.