Chapter 16 – The Pain of Perdition
Alec began to scream, as he poured forth his powers into the inanimate man, and he felt them being violently pulled out of him. He felt himself being pulled somehow down into the man, following his energies into an all-consuming void. There was pain, intense pain, where he was going. Vivid images, cruel faces, painful ignorance – all imposed themselves violently upon him as he fell. Alec couldn’t control what was happening to him as his powers became a chain that pulled him into some strange portal.
As he felt himself losing all control of himself, his physical body seemed to dissolve away and he was only a spiritual being. Horribly, the spirituality around him was the worst forms of humanity’s distorted will.
He remembered his childhood in the orphanage, and living after the orphanage in the tannery, where he had been so lonely. He’d had no friends, other than the rare opportunity to see some of the other kids who lived out on the streets of Frame. At the tannery he’d been shunned, an outcast left with the worst jobs, a resident of the bottom of the lowest rung of society. He’d not thought of anyone who could be a friend, a refuge to escape the loneliness. He hadn’t thought about Jesus as a friend. He’d only wallowed in his self-pity, right up to the moment when Aristotle had come and liberated him.
And in that time in the tannery, he’d grown insolent towards the others who worked there, jealous of their better lives, better jobs, better conditions. His soul’s compassion had withdrawn within a tight shell as despair and lack of faith had begun to harden him. He’d been bitter.
His mind tumbled again, and he remembered the despair he had felt when he had seen Leah dead, because he didn’t have the power to heal her. It flipped again and he suddenly comprehended how selfish he had been in abandoning all other priorities to come back here to the cave to heal himself ahead of promoting the interests of the Dominion. Another twist, and he recognized the avarice he had felt often times as he thought about all the money he made from his water sales partnership with Natha.
Negative feelings filtered through him as he felt like he was falling into and through the body in the cave, moving downward into a different dimension where he was without any physical presence. Only his soul existed as it dropped, and he felt all the mean and self-serving cracks and crannies of his soul being exposed. There he felt again the lust he felt for Bethany, seemingly increased because she was beyond his reach, satisfied within her relationship with Tritos now. No wonder Cassie had turned away from him after seeing his soul, he thought. It was stained and tattered into an abysmal, ugly mess.
And looming over all, he began to squirm even more under this scrutiny, as he saw how proud, overwhelmingly proud, he had been of his healing powers. Here he was now, because he believed he could cure anyone, with any injuries. This man whose body had turned into this trap of self-examination, showed him how self-centered he was in thinking about himself first and foremost, even when it seemed he was helping another person. He felt consumed by misery and self-loathing as he thought about all the times he had put himself first. There was nothing about him that seemed worthwhile, nothing that earned the right to have the privilege of great powers, let alone of life itself. His pride, his smug belief in his own self-sufficiency was his greatest sin, his greatest downfall.
At that point he blanched as realization hit him. The body he was trying to heal, the body that seemed dead and not dead, could only be the body of his Savior, resting in the tomb while he descended to Hell to bring freedom to all souls. Somehow, Alec had entered John Mark’s cave, but it was also the tomb where Jesus had been buried.
As that realization rose to the surface of his awareness, through the heavy layers of guilt and sin, Alec felt gratitude well up. Through the great leap of salvation of the Savior, he was allowed to be imperfect and still in communion with God. Even though he was filled with so much sin, God loved him still, unconditionally.
Was going down to Hell a matter of a person constantly reliving and realizing all their faults, he wondered? Was that what Jesus had taken on, accepting all the pain and doubt and regret and loneliness that every soul must feel when it realized how flawed it was? It must have been an inhumane burden, and Alec gave his profoundest thanks for that holy sacrifice.
There was another spiritual twist, and he began to weep tears of gratitude and sympathy, as he found himself physically within his own body again, slumped down on the floor next to the holy casket. A flood of warmth, of love and joy came over him as he lay there, comprehending the greatest concept of holy love that a human was able to carry, and he fell into peaceful slumbers.
Chapter 17 – John Mark’s Mission
“Alec, wake up,” a voice said as Alec lay on the stone floor of the lowest level of the Cave of John Mark.
He raised his head and looked around the dim chamber. The lid was still off the sarcophagus, and a small brown man sat lotus fashion on the floor near the door. Alec stood, and gently replaced the lid on the casket with reverence, after looking down at the battered face one more time before he pulled the linens back to cover it. Perhaps he imagined it, but even amidst the bruises and contusions, he imagined he saw serenity in the features.
Alec noticed that his left hand was marked with vivid scars on both the back and the palm. John Mark watched him. “That hand has touched the divine. It will never be the same,” he said. “Here, in the Cave, it is only a visual mark, but out there in the world, it will provide a different type of reminder.”
Alec thought for long seconds about the implications of that simple statement.
“You can’t begin to imagine what Hell is really like,” John Mark said, his tone indicating a change in topic. “You’ve had a little taste of pain, and maybe dipped the nail of one toe into the best end of the pool. But what our Savior has taken on, for all of us, for all time, is beyond any human’s comprehension.”
Alec thought about his self-loathing and self-disgust, and all the moments he had thought only about his own desires above others.
“No human has ever experienced anything like what you just exposed yourself to,” John Mark said. “If you hadn’t had such a hubristic sense of pride in your healing abilities, you wouldn’t have experienced that either.”
“What’s that mean?” Alec asked.
“Arrogance, ambition, pride, self-satisfaction. A failure to understand just how limited we are, and how little we ever achieve compared to our potential,” John Mark explained with a smile. “Don’t ever think that you’re at the top. Don’t ever think you can’t be better. Don’t ever think that you can’t do better. Don’t give up on trying to improve yourself.”
Alec had a startlingly clear recollection of countless hours spent sitting with Aristotle, riding on the front of a long gone carnival wagon, listening to the exact same message.
“I will work to make myself better,” he humbly said.
“Nobody has ever come to this cave twice either, Alec,” John Mark told him. “Not that I need to say anything else to let you know that you are marked for a special fate, but you are special.
“And never, not once, has a pilgrim from our world come to this chamber in the cave,” he told Alec in a more solemn tone.
“How can I be in Christ’s tomb?” Alec asked. “He was sacrificed in that other world.”
“He was sacrificed for all who are created in God’s image,” John Mark said. “We all -- his world, our world, other worlds as well -- have access to his sacrifice and grace and salvation. So in that regard, you have access to Christ, and this is a profoundly personal and real manifestation of that. I doubt that anyone else has ever handled their exposure to salvation as you have.
“Now, I have a special set of duties for you to carry out before you return to your obligations. There are things you need to learn, and messages you need to learn, that require some very unusual steps,” John Mark explained.
“I am going to send you on some journeys,” the prophet began to explain. “There are things y
ou must hear and learn, and perhaps do.”
“What do I need to learn?” Alec asked with interest.
“There is a great threat to the Dominion that you know nothing about,” John Mark said. “An invasion is beginning, in a remote corner of the land. The invaders are traveling in a fashion you will recognize when you see it. I am going to send you to that far-off land so that you can learn about this threat and determine how to address it. And when you come back from that journey, you will be sent on two other journeys to begin to take the steps to prepare the Dominion to defend itself.
“Take this,” John Mark held out a small sealed jar. “This will be your means of return from Michian.”
Alec reached out to take the jar, and he rolled the name of the land around in his mind as he accepted it. “How will this bring me back?”
“It is a jar of dust from this very cave,” John Mark motioned. “Open the jar, pour out the sand in a circle around you, and call out my name. You will return here.”
“When will I go and when should I come back?” Alec asked.
“You’ll go in just a few seconds, when I send you,” the prophet replied gently, and you’ll come back when you think you’ve learned enough and are ready to return.” He tossed Alec his back pack. “And one last thing. Because your speech is so different, your accent would give you away if you were to speak in Michian, so you will go there, and exist there, as a mute, without a tongue, unable to speak.”
Alec looked up from the jar in startlement and began to protest.
“I will see you soon, Alec. Go with God’s blessings, and remember that you can always do more or be better,” John Mark blessed him with hands raised. “But know that he loves you now and always as a very special son,” and the dim light in the cave faded to black.
Section 2
Michian
Chapter 18 – Arrival in the Empire
Alec blinked rapidly as the utter blackness of the cave was replaced instantly by bright sunlight, and he found himself standing in the front row of a huge crowd, lining a street as a great pageant proceeded past. The sun was blindingly bright overhead, and the air felt intensely hot. Alec’s eyes were still squinted closed, but he was aware of many bright colors around him. The buildings on the far side of the street were painted in extravagant hues, and the people around him mostly wore robes and billowing clothes that were bright shades of green and yellow and blue and violet, while the band of musicians who were passing by were dressed in white and blue striped outfits that looked like pajamas to him.
But what struck Alec immediately was the drama taking place on the finely ground stone surface of the road he was facing. A member of the band was sprawled unconscious, surrounded by a few of his band mates, while the rest of the group attempted to play on as if their performance was undiminished by the circumstances.
Alec grabbed the bag of medical supplies John Mark had apparently sent with him, feeling its weight slung over his shoulder, The soft dark leather bag was bulging with materials, and Alec stepped forward to look at the condition of the laid out player, who had a large wooden instrument lying next to him.
The surrounding band mates were not offering any assistance to their companion as they stood over him, and Alec peremptorily spread his arms and pressed them back to give the man room. Alec allowed his health vision to carefully examine the man, looking for possible injuries and illnesses. Beyond the evident dehydration, there was nothing else troubling the man, a stout man perhaps a decade older than Alec. Reaching into his bag of materials, Alec pulled out a small bundle of leafy twigs. He pulled one of the twigs loose from the bundle, and broke it in three places, then stuck the fragments into the nostrils of his patient.
The man inhaled the pungent aroma of the fetid egg fern and coughed, then opened his eyes, looking wildly about him.
“You need water and rest,” Alec tried to say, but only inarticulate noises emerged from his tongueless mouth. The realization of his state distracted Alec immensely, but the cheers of the surrounding band players pulled his attention back to the matter at hand.
Alec looked around. Hanging from a hook on a lamp post nearby was a bucket. Alec grabbed the shoulder of a musician and pointed at the bucket, making imploring sounds.
“Do you want something?” the man asked in a slow languid accent.
Alec placed an arm under his patient and attempted to raise him. He was joined by a perceptive band member, so that they raised the ill man to his unsteady feet. Alec pointed in the direction of the bucket again, and together the two of them dragged the patient over to the post, where Alec sat him back down on the ground, leaning against the post. Another band member had carried the musical instrument over next to him, and then the four players abandoned their companion to rejoin the rest of the band that had moved on down the parade route.
Pulling the bucket down, Alec saw that it fortunately was half full of water. He unbuttoned the man’s robe to open the front, then cupped his hands and dowsed the man’s head with water to try to cool him. He cupped his hands a second time and brought them to the man’s mouth. Alec grunted encouragement to the man to drink. The overheated player rolled his eyes to look up at Alec as he placed his lips in the water, and greedily sucked down the little Alec offered.
Alec decided to speed the man’s recovery along, and placed his hand on his shoulder, allowing a trickle of healing power to filter into his chest, and pulling his body temperature down. He used his right hand, his left still darkly splotched and feeling slightly painful after the encounter in the cave.
“I’m much better, thank you,” his patient said, speaking for the first time. Alec removed his hand, and sat down on the dusty curb beside the man, as a regiment of soldiers trooped by in rigid formation. “I wasn’t feeling well, and then all the sudden I felt my knees buckle, and that’s the last I knew until we were sitting here.”
Alec reached over and brushed away the remnants of the fern from the man’s upper lip.
“We owe you a great deal. That was a terrible embarrassment to our clan. Thank you for correcting the situation so quickly,” a voice said over his shoulder.
Alec looked up at a gentleman wearing a set of robes that had a blue and white stripe pattern similar to the band player’s. “By the time they reach the emperor’s review stand, no one will know anything was amiss.” The man knelt down next to the musician. “You nearly cost us a great deal of honor, you know,” he said without malice to the patient. “This boy saved your bacon. Do you feel well enough to go home and rest?”
“I’m fine now,” the man on the ground said, rising. “He took good care of me. I apologize to you and everyone. I’m just not used to this heat. Will we be able to ride the restorer back to the villa soon?”
“You know the restorer is going to be busy for at least a week, or longer if we lend it to the army much more,” the man in robes said. “Let’s go to the reverence stand, then back home,” he motioned to a person Alec hadn’t noticed in the background, a girl his own age wearing a headpiece, short skirt and sleeveless tunic, all also striped in blue and white. “Rief,” he said, and she stepped out from the crowd, picked up the instrument, then the three of them started to push back through the crowd, disappearing quickly from view.
Alec stood in his spot, trying to make sense of all that he had just heard.
“Down in front,” someone called, and he was jostled by spectators wanting to watch the flow of events in the parade, as a dozen jugglers were now exchanging large metal plates from one to the other.
“Come on,” a voice said urgently, and there was a strong tug at his sleeve. Turning, Alec saw the girl servant who had just left with the large musical instrument. “We can’t wait forever just for you to watch the jugglers.” She adjusted her hand to grab his elbow and pull him forcefully towards her. “I’m not going to get in trouble for being slow because you’re dallying,” she said with exasperation.
Alec let himself be led away from the street, jostling peop
le aside through a dozen or more layers of spectators until he was in an open space behind the crowd, where the four connected wooden tubes of the cast-aside musical instrument lay. The girl released him, picked up the instrument, then looked down the street. “They’re just in sight. Let’s go,” she said, breaking into a trot to catch up with her masters. Alec hesitated a moment, then began to follow her.
They traveled in a beeline until they were just two steps behind the girl’s leader, then slowed their pace to maintain their position. Still dazed by the holy experience in the cave, and then the abrupt transference to this strange society, Alec tried to make sense of what was happening, but had no more than begun to reflect on the situation than the thick crowds on his left abruptly ended as a series of tented pavilions took their place along the parade route. He said “Rief,” Alec thought. Was that a command to do something, or the girl’s name?
Alec guessed which tent they might be headed to as soon as he saw a large blue and white striped structure along the ornate row, where every tent seemed to have a different combination of colors, shapes and symbols. A servant pulled a flap open and the small group walked in without fuss. Inside, a small row of tiers allowed the occupants to sit sedately near an opening and watch the parade go by, while a buffet on the side was copiously supplied with food and drink.
Against the Empire: The Dominion and Michian Page 11