‘Topher, I’m not guilty of any of these things. I’ve never hurt a student. I’ve never put a hand on one. Not even a hand on their shoulder and I did not try to kill myself! I’m mortified you think I would.’
Topher glared at me. I knew that look. He’s working out the best course of action for him. How he can best protect his own interests. My needs are unimportant to him.
‘You have to tell the police what happened. I have to tell them the truth,’ I told him, but he shook his head.
‘No, you’re not well enough. Leave it for a little while. Wait until things calm down.’
‘Topher this isn’t going to calm down. Four people are dead, two of them children. This is never, ever, going to calm down.’
‘We’ll get you a good solicitor,’ said Topher. ‘Don’t worry about the assault case. I’ll get Peter Robinson to help. He’ll come in and take care of the car accident part of it and the potential manslaughter. We’ll do our own investigations. Oh, Lily,’ he sighed, ‘you know, you could go to prison for this?’
I bit my lip. Tears fell steadily down my face and I closed my eyes trying to hold back the sobs, which were trapped in my throat. My heart was pounding, threatening to leap from my chest. Making me dizzy from the images whirling through my mind. If only I could slow them down. Review them one by one. I couldn’t think. I needed to think. I needed peace to gather my thoughts. What was that noise? I snapped my eyes open. I was still connected to the heart rate monitor. I snatched at the sticky tabs on my chest, pulling them off. Gasping at the pain as the adhesive tugged at my skin. The machine squealed and the police officer at the door peeked in. Topher pulled the plug out and the machine fell silent.
Would he disconnect the machine so calmly if I were dependent on it?
Topher came over and grasped my hands. I squeaked with the pain. Was he so stupid he’d forgotten about my hands?
‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry,’ he said, releasing his grip.
For once he really did look sorry. I met his gaze with something bordering disbelief. ‘I’m not guilty of anything. I’m not guilty of hitting a student and I’m certainly not guilty of causing the accident, you must believe me, Topher. You really do have to believe me.’
He slipped off the bed and looked at me. ‘I don’t know what to believe anymore, Lily. You said a Range Rover ran you off the road, but where’s the evidence? Have you got any witnesses? I don’t want to believe you would be so cruel as to hurt me this way. You know how my parents died. I don’t want to think that you would try and punish me by killing yourself in a car crash.’ Tears were falling down his face and he wiped them away with the back of his hand. ‘Could you be so wicked as to harm our children in the same way and leave them without a mother?’
Of course, I hadn’t forgotten his parents had been killed in a motoring accident. Their car lost traction on an icy road and hurtled through the crash barrier. I covered my face with my hands. Now I knew the gut-wrenching fear they felt as their car careened down the slope. Did they pray? Did they hold on to each other? Did they declare their love for each other? Did they think of their son?
There was no hope for the occupants after the vehicle careered down a mountainside. Topher was just nine. It happened long before I met him, and he didn’t tell me the full story until I was in hospital in New York. Through sobs and tears, he’d lain beside me on my hospital bed, stroking my tummy where James was growing and he’d told me how much family meant to him. That he’d do anything to keep our little family together.
I thought since the birth of James and Darcy he had recovered from losing his parents. I thought he had put his grief behind him. Now I saw it was as raw today as it had been on the day of their accident.
‘I’ll do my best Lily,’ he said, as he prepared to leave. ‘I’ll do my best to keep you out of prison.’ At that point, I realised he’d not been listening to me at all. He didn’t believe me. He wasn’t on my side.
There was only one person in the world I could possibly rely on. And that was Stephanie.
Chapter Eleven
Lily
It took some effort, but finally I got the nurse to agree to call Stephanie.
I relaxed back on the pillows and tried to doze but my mind raced – reliving everything: David firing me, the accident. I drifted into consciousness as I heard her Jimmy Choo’s click clacking down the corridor, long before I saw her striding into my room.
‘Oh I’m so glad to see you,’ I sighed.
‘Well, I’m glad to see you too,’ she said. ‘You had me worried. I left work early for our lunch date. I got to your place. Heather let me in and we sat drinking tea together but you never turned up. I even went to the park with the children.’
‘I’m so sorry,’ I replied. ‘I really am deeply sorry, but it’s been terrible. I have to tell you what’s been going on.’
Stephanie sat down in the chair where Topher had just been. She put her handbag on the floor and crossed her long legs.
‘Okay, tell me,’ she said.
‘So, we had our call and I told you I’d been fired and why.’ I began.
Stephanie nodded. ‘Yes, I remember the one. I’m hardly likely to forget it,’ she said. ‘What happened after that? Heather told me when you spoke to her there was a Range Rover tailgating you.’
‘I’ve been going through what happened afterwards. Again, and again. I’ve been trying to make sense of the pictures in my head,’ I said, closing my eyes to shuffle through my memories. ‘I remember driving away from the school and you’re right, suddenly there was this guy on my tail. It’s coming back to me now. In a big vehicle. It was all blacked out. The car was black. The windows were black. I couldn’t see anything, but I was sure it was a man. And he was flashing his lights at me, but he wasn’t hooting. Don’t you think that was odd? He kept flashing his lights and I pulled onto the North circular to come home and I thought he’d just go past me and maybe hoot or wave a fist as he went past. But he didn’t. He just stayed behind me, on the inside lane and he kept flashing. I tried to pull off into a garage and he nudged the back of the car, so I shot forward. Oh, Stephanie, I was so terrified. I was absolutely petrified.’
She leaned forward to squeeze my hand. She hesitated momentarily, withdrew her hand, and reached over for my left hand. I wondered briefly if she’d remembered the last set of bruises. She’d not asked about it and it was good not having to lie to her again. ‘How do you know what type of car it was when I can’t remember?’ I rubbed my head with the heel of my right hand. I can’t quite open my right eye, and when I do the room refused to stay still.
‘Like I just said, you called Heather and you told her it was a Range Rover. Do you remember that?’
I shrugged. ‘Everything is still a bit hazy. I seem to remember trying to work out what I’d done to upset him. Then there was a lorry up ahead and I had to overtake it because it was going so slowly and so I indicated and pulled out into the outside lane. When I looked in the rear-view mirror, I saw the black car – the Range Rover way, way behind me. I thought he might have calmed down. But then I indicated to pull back in again and the lorry hooted. I panicked. Then I was shunted forward, and I looked in the rear-view mirror and he was right behind me. That bastard hit me. My car hit the barrier!’ I gasped for breath and Stephanie passed me some water. I took a sip and carried on.
‘I’m trying to hold onto everything and trying to keep calm. Keep the car under control, you know? Then as I am about to pull back into the inside lane the lorry edges closer and I think I’m going to hit it, but that doesn’t happen because the Range Rover shunts me really, really hard and my car hits the central reservation again and the car just flips. I remember everything swirling around inside the cab of the car and I was hit with the whole lot of stuff I leave in there: coffee, random pens, pencils, crayons, and empty crisp packets. All of the shit I leave in my car. It was all just whirling around my head. Then I remember the jolt as I landed on the other side and was upright and
I remember feeling relieved I was upright. But there was so much noise. It was deafening. I’d never heard noise like it. I couldn’t believe I was okay, and I just opened my eyes and that was when I saw the people carrier. Just before I hit it, I saw a little girl in the back. She had a car seat like Darcy’s.’
I pulled my hand away from her, so I could raise both to my face to cover my sobs. ‘I hit the people carrier,’ I repeated. ‘And they’re dead. Everyone was killed.’
Stephanie paused before speaking, took a deep intake of breath. ‘Yes,’ she said. ‘It was in the papers. A family of four. I’m sorry, Lily...’
I dropped my hands and looked at her. ‘Topher doesn’t believe me,’ I told her. ‘He thinks I’ve done this on purpose. He thinks I tried to crash the car. To be honest, I’ve actually no idea what he thinks, but I know he doesn’t believe me. He doesn’t believe me about the assault. He doesn’t believe me about the crash. And now I’ve got this detective chasing me. She wants to interview me. She wants to interview me under caution.’
‘Yes,’ said Stephanie, ‘but that’s standard practice. Who is it?’
I nodded to the bedside cabinet where the detective had left a card.
‘Ah yes, Denise Jones. Oh well there’s nothing to worry about. I know her. She’s been helping me with the John issue, and we’ve become friends.’
I watched Stephanie tap the card against her beautifully made-up lips, wondering why she’d not told me about this new friendship.
‘You can trust her,’ she continued. ‘Why don’t we get her to come in here and you can have an off the record chat? In any case, I can sit in on the chat and I can give you the benefit of my legal expertise. We’ll make sure Denise realises it’s off the record. You can just tell her everything you’ve told me. To be honest she can even start looking into the assault allegations if they’re taking it to court. If they sacked you then they are going to take it further. Therefore, someone in the police must have been aware of it. I’m sure it’s not something they will keep private and tucked away within the school.’
‘I don’t know. I really don’t know. David Jacobs said there would be something in the post, but I haven’t seen anything so far.’ Briefly I wondered why she’d not mentioned this Denise before. Why she’d not brought her to the anniversary party, but my head was still pounding. ‘I’ve asked my mother to bring my post in, but she’s not done that yet. Topher said there’s nothing there for me.’
‘Okay,’ said Stephanie.
I gave her a weak smile as I saw her mind whizzing, working out all the options. I loved her practicality. I’d never ever known anything faze her, ever. It was one of the first things I loved about her.
‘Okay, I’ll call Denise and get her to come in and talk to you. I’ll sit with you while it takes place.’
‘And Topher?’ I asked.
Stephanie gave me a strange look. ‘I think we will manage this without Topher,’ she mused. ‘I think it would be the best thing all round. When you’re out of hospital, you can do the formal interview with Detective Jones and with the solicitor Topher arranges for you, but in the meantime, it seems to me it would be better for you to have a chat with her woman to woman and see where it goes from there. Okay?’
‘Okay,’ I sighed, resting my head on the pillows again. ‘Thank you.’ Despite the amount of trouble, I found myself in, I was feeling much more at peace. I knew I had called exactly the right person.
Chapter Twelve
Lily
I had no idea how Stephanie managed it, but two days later, Dr Sanders had given the all-clear for an interview and Detective Constable Denise Jones was ushered into my hospital room. The two women greeted each other warmly with a hug. Stephanie called a nurse, and an extra chair was brought into my room. Stephanie put it in the corner and sat there, briefcase by her side and legal pad on her knee.
DC Jones took the chair nearest my bed. ‘Hello again,’ she said.
I gave her a quick smile.
‘Okay,’ she continued, ‘I’m going to have to caution you. I know Stephanie said this would be just an informal chat between us but I’d lose my job if I were to do that. Stephanie has agreed to act as your legal representative, so this will be a voluntary, preliminary interview and both she and I will be taking notes. You’ll have to come to the station once you’re released from hospital for a formal interview.’
I nodded, grateful for Stephanie’s intervention. We’ve had out differences in the past, but she was proving to be a better friend than I could have hoped for.
‘Now,’ said DC Jones, taking out her own notepad and sitting with pen poised, ‘tell me in your own words exactly what happened.’
I sat back and I related to her my journey into work, my confusion over the lack of students in the class, and my conversation with David Jacobs.
‘Let me stop you there,’ she said. ‘You were accused of assaulting a student at the school?’
‘Yes,’ I said, ‘but I’ve not seen any evidence. They promised to send me details of the allegations in the post. It’s been a week and Topher says that nothing has arrived from the school.’
‘Okay,’ DC Jones nodded.
‘Will you look into it for me, DC Jones?’ I asked.
‘Call me Denise,’ she said, breaking into a smile that transformed her face. ‘Most people call me DJ. But yes, I will look into this for you. I’m surprised it’s not been raised with the police already. With the facilities and the computer systems we have nowadays, the two cases should be linked via your name and date of birth.’
‘I’d be grateful if you’d check up on it for me. I’m going out of my mind. Obviously at this stage, I haven’t had a chance to put across my side of the story or prepare a defence.’ I was stuttering. I couldn’t even bring myself to consider that anyone could possibly accuse me of such a thing. I’d enjoyed teaching my students. Plus, I’ve been slapped too many times during my own childhood to ever do that to anyone else.
‘Tell me a little bit about your background. How did you come to be teaching at the school?’
‘Before I married, I was a concert violinist. I had an accident when I first became pregnant and I’ve not been able to play properly since. I mean, I’m good enough to demonstrate what needs to be done, but…’ I laughed self-deprecatingly. ‘Those who can’t do, teach. Isn’t that the saying?’
DC Jones raised her head, tilting it to one side. Looking at me with sympathy in her deep-set, dark eyes. ‘It must be awfully hard for you.’
‘It is, but I have my children and my home to keep my going,’ I replied.
‘And your husband,’ said Stephanie.
‘Oh yes and Topher. How could I possibly forget I have Topher?’ I tried to ignore the frown Stephanie shot in my direction.
‘So, the day of the accident, you drove home? You were upset?’ said Denise.
‘I think I was in shock. I talked to Stephanie briefly on the phone before I drove away. I did some deep breathing meditation type exercises I used to do before I went on stage. I calmed myself. I calmed my breathing. I phoned my housekeeper to say I was on my way home. As I was driving. I saw a large black Range Rover, in my rear-view mirror. He was flashing at me. He followed me onto the North Circular and then when I was trying to overtake a lorry, he hit me.’
‘Let me get this straight, you’re telling me somebody used their vehicle to propel you off the road? You didn’t mention a Range Rover when we spoke before.’ Denise Jones’s eyes reduced to slits.
‘I couldn’t remember anything at first. It’s come back to me. I was overtaking a lorry – actually hasn’t… didn’t he come forward? Did he not see something? He hooted at me. It was the horn which alerted me to the Range Rover trying to mow me down.’
Denise looked at her notes. ‘I can’t see anything about a lorry driver in here. I’ll have to look into it. Leave it with me,’ she said. ‘So, is that the last thing you remember?’
‘Yes, pretty much. I think the car rolled. Or
at least I’m assuming it did. I just remember everything in the in the car flying around my head.’
Again, she flicked back to her notes. ‘Yes, that can happen. You were lucky to escape.’
‘Good old Vanessa,’ I said. ‘She’s always kept me safe.’
‘Vanessa?’ Denise stopped writing and looked up.
‘Yes, Vanessa,’ I replied. ‘She’s my Volvo.’
‘Was,’ said Denise. ‘She was your Volvo. You’ll be needing a new one.’
A tear trickled from my eye and I brushed it away furiously. How could I possibly be crying over a car when I’ve killed four people?
Denise looked at me. ‘Okay, I’ve made some notes. I’ll take this away.’ She turned her head towards Stephanie. ‘You’ll be doing the same? You’ll do your own background checks on this new evidence?’
‘I most certainly will,’ said Stephanie. ‘We need to keep each other appraised of what’s going on.’
‘Agreed,’ said DC Jones. ‘I’ll leave it there for today, but I will do some investigating to see what CCTV there is. I’m surprised no one has come forward so far. I’ll look into the lorry driver as well and then I will get back to you. Now your doctor has agreed you can be interviewed I would expect that, once you are released from hospital, you’ll be called in for a formal interview.’ She looked at Stephanie. ‘Will you be the solicitor again?’
Stephanie let out an indelicate snigger. ‘No, I don’t think so. I think Mr Gundersen has someone else in mind for his wife’s representation. Plus since I’m a personal friend, it’s a conflict of interest for me. I was happy to sit in today.’
DC Jones nodded. More air kisses with Stephanie, then waved at me and headed off.
‘Feel better?’ asked Stephanie.
‘I do,’ I replied. ‘Thanks for helping me get that off my chest. What happens now?’
The Love Trap: an unputdownable psychological thriller Page 5