She tried to stay annoyed with the world – that way at least the tears seemed to stay away.
When she pulled up out the front of the Burtons’ house, Barbara and Grace raced down the steps and over to Emily’s car door, with the old dog, Sasha, ambling slowly after them.
Thank goodness for Barbara, Emily thought for the umpteenth time as she took comfort in her friend’s tight, lingering embrace. Grace leapt about fighting for attention until Emily finally bent down and scooped her up.
‘I hope you’ve been good for Auntie Barbara,’ she said, nuzzling the squirming, wriggling dog in her arms.
‘Come on, I’ll put the kettle on, and you can tell me all about it,’ Barbara said, getting Emily’s suitcases out of the boot.
Inside, Emily slumped heavily onto a kitchen chair, suddenly aware of just how tired she really was. She barely registered Barbara taking her cases up the hall. She thought to get up, but couldn’t. She laid her head on the table, and was then vaguely aware of Barbara back in the kitchen filling the kettle and putting it on.
After what seemed only seconds, Emily was startled when a mug thudded on the table in front of her. She forced her droopy eyelids open and her posture upright. She must have dropped off; she felt decidedly groggy.
‘God, you poor thing, you’re exhausted. Would you prefer to have a lie down instead?’
‘Actually, I wouldn’t mind, if that’s okay?’
‘Don’t be ridiculous. Of course it’s okay. Just make yourself at home. Feel free to have a shower if you want – there’s a clean towel in the guest bathroom for you.’
‘Thanks Barbara,’ Emily said, hauling herself slowly to her feet. ‘For everything.’
Chapter Fourteen
Emily woke up slowly, opened her eyes and looked around. It took her a second or two to register where she was: at Barbara’s house, in the guest bedroom. She sat up and rubbed her hands across her face.
Now sitting cross-legged under the quilt, she realised bright light was filtering into the room from behind the drawn curtains. She’d lain down for a nap – surely she hadn’t slept right through the night? A pang shot through her stomach followed by an audible rumble.
She thought back to the day before. Had it only been twenty-four hours since she’d phoned Barbara, loaded the car, and driven away from her marriage?
She felt another sharp twinge that was too high for a hunger pang. Fear? Regret? Sadness? She wasn’t sure. She’d left John. Had actually done it. But had she meant it, really meant it?
What if John got the jolt he needed and changed? She’d heard over and over that men didn’t change; that you were stuck with what you’d got. But surely there were exceptions. What if John was one? Maybe he deserved another chance.
Emily climbed out of bed and began packing the few things she’d taken out back into her suitcase.
There was a gentle tap on the door, and when Emily stood upright, Barbara was standing before her.
‘What are you doing?’
‘Packing. I’ve got to go home. Thanks for everything, but I’ve made a mistake.’
‘Okay. But I’ve cooked eggs and bacon, so at least have a decent meal before you go. You missed dinner last night.’
‘Yes, sorry about that. I can’t believe I slept right through.’
‘Well, I can – you’re on an emotional rollercoaster. You may as well have run a marathon. Leave that and come and have breakfast – it’s almost ready.
Emily sat down to a plate of crispy bacon, mushrooms sautéed in butter and mixed herbs, grilled tomatoes, poached eggs on lightly buttered crusty bread, orange juice, and a mug of steaming, rich, milky coffee.
‘Barbara, this is amazing. Thank you,’ she said, pausing after her first few mouthfuls of food. ‘Just what I needed.’
‘Good. In my opinion, nothing beats a big country breakfast for starting the day with a clear head.’
Emily nodded, despite her head feeling anything but clear. She was relieved Barbara hadn’t said anything about her decision to leave. After the initial murmurs of appreciation, they ate in silence.
Finally Emily put her knife and fork down and, after a deep, contented sigh, said, ‘Thank you, that was wonderful.’
‘Pleasure. Now, I’ve been thinking about your predicament …’ Barbara started.
‘Sorry?’ Emily blinked at her with surprise. She was suddenly aware that for the fifteen or so minutes they were eating she hadn’t thought once of her situation and the daunting time ahead.
‘Unless you really have decided to go back to John, which I definitely don’t agree with. Obviously I’ll support you if that’s your wish – it’s your life to live, not mine – I just want you to be happy.’
Why couldn’t my mother have told me that yesterday? Emily wondered with a heavy heart.
‘You’ve no idea how much that means to me. Did, um, John call, by any chance?’ she asked tentatively. She wasn’t sure what difference it would make, but couldn’t help asking.
‘He did, as a matter of fact. Late last night when you were asleep. Seems to think you’ll be home soon. He said, and I quote, “Tell her to hurry up and get over her little hissy fit because we’ll have two sheep to pack into the freezer in the next few days”.’
‘That’s it?’ Emily said, feeling both angry and disappointed.
‘Well, he did say you’ll probably need to get more freezer bags on the way,’ Barbara said, offering Emily a crooked smile and raised eyebrows.
‘The nerve! I can’t believe he’s that blasé.’ But as the words left her mouth, Emily was forced to admit that she really hadn’t expected much else – hoped, yes, but expected, no.
‘So I take it you’re not going back to pack the chops?’ Barbara asked with an innocent lilt to her voice.
‘No bloody way. He can stick his lamb chops and his freezer bags up his arse, for all I care!’
‘Good girl, that’s the spirit,’ Barbara said, patting her friend’s hand.
Emily scowled into her coffee.
‘Now, on to other matters. I hope you don’t mind, but yesterday I made a few calls on your behalf,’ Barbara said.
‘Oh?’
‘The good news is there’s a cottage available for rent a few farms away on the McFarlane place. They don’t want much for it because they don’t want to upset their pensions, but also don’t want squatters moving in and trashing it. They’ve given me directions and permission to visit if you want to check it out. I didn’t give your name – just said an artist friend from the city needed somewhere quiet to live for a few months.’
‘Wow, that’s great. And thanks for not mentioning my name.’
‘Well, don’t go getting too excited. There’s bad news too. I phoned most major businesses around town – again, remaining discreet of course – but I’m afraid no one’s hiring at the moment. The financial downturn seems to have well and truly hit.’
‘Damn, I was really counting on getting a job straight away.’
‘Something will turn up – it always does. You did say you had a little tucked away, so it’s not too dire, is it?’
‘Not totally. And Dad did offer to help.’
‘Of course. I’d completely forgotten about your parents. We didn’t get around to discussing your visit. So, what happened?’
‘Well, not a lot really. Mum was all concerned about her reputation – having a daughter with a failed marriage and all. No great surprise there, much as I’d hoped otherwise. But Dad was a bit of a dark horse.’
‘Oh?’
‘He actually raised his voice to defend me – told Mum he didn’t want his daughter being miserable. You know, I can hardly remember the last time he raised his voice to her.’
‘Really?’
‘Yeah, but now I feel guilty about thinking him weak all these years. I’ve been pretty disrespectful.’
‘Well, maybe that’s the something good that is going to come out of all of this – a renewed relationship with your father.’
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‘Hmm.’
‘I vote today we pack a picnic, visit the house that’s for rent and forget about everything else for a while.’
‘Sounds like a fine plan. But I wouldn’t mind getting my hair cut – like, much shorter,’ Emily said, the thought just suddenly coming upon her. She ran her hands down her mouse brown hair that was pulled into a ponytail low at the back of her neck. ‘I know it’s a really clichéd thing to do when your relationship ends, but I don’t care – I’m just suddenly sick of it. What do you think, should I do it?’
‘Absolutely. I think it’s a great way for you to draw a line between your old and new life.’
‘Well, don’t let me chicken out, then. Because I might want to if I can’t get an appointment until next week.’
‘No need for that; I can do it for you right now.’
‘Really? You can cut hair?’
Barbara laughed. ‘You don’t need to sound so sceptical. I was a hairdresser for a while before I moved here. Didn’t I tell you?’
‘No.’
‘I’m a little rusty, but not totally devoid of talent. And I certainly wouldn’t offer if I didn’t think I could do a decent job. So, what do you reckon?’
‘Let’s do it. Right now, before I chicken out. If that’s okay with you, of course.’
‘Great. Let me at it,’ Barbara said, rubbing her hands together and looking Emily over with a critical eye.
Just under an hour later, Emily was sporting a bob that was a little longer than chin length at the front and sloped up to be very short against the back of her head, with soft feathering slightly below it.
She turned her head this way and that, trying to see in the bathroom mirror in front of her and the round one Barbara held behind her. She felt it all over with her hands and was surprised to not feel at all apprehensive about the dramatic change.
‘So, what do you think?’
‘Oh, I love it. Thank you. What do you think?’
‘Perfect. You look great. It really frames your face. Come on, let’s get going on our little outing now.’
Chapter Fifteen
‘Now, I only roughly know where this house is so you’ll have to bear with me,’ Barbara said apologetically.
‘Well, I don’t know this area at all so I don’t mind getting lost and doing some exploring.’
Emily drove and Grace stood on Barbara’s lap watching where they were going. Sasha lay on the floor in the back, showing none of the younger dog’s excitement at the adventure they were apparently on.
Emily tried to curb her sudden new habit of flicking her head back and forth to make her new haircut swish about, and of looking at it in the rear vision mirror every few moments. She felt a little naked at her neck without her ponytail. The style made her feel fresh and vibrant, but it would take some getting used to.
It took them fifteen minutes and a number of wrong turns before they pulled into a driveway. At the end of the driveway, approximately one hundred metres ahead, a house sat in a large barren clearing, stark white against the blue-greens and browns of its scrubby surrounds. Once, it might have been considered minimalist, modern and classy, but Emily thought the whole setting now looked lonely, depressing and uninspired. She kept her feelings to herself though – not wanting to seem ungrateful for Barbara’s efforts to help her – and was relieved at her friend’s next words.
‘Oh! Not at all what I was expecting,’ she said. ‘Perhaps it’s one of those places that look better up close.’
They pulled up in front of the square concrete building. The plain front door with its flaking, faded dark blue paint stood between two large, white aluminium-framed windows. If it wasn’t for the windows, the house could have been an ablutions block in one of the caravan parks she’d visited as a child. It was bald faced, with minimal eaves and no verandahs.
The only vaguely homely touch was a pair of 1950s-era concrete pots sitting on either side. Strips of peeling white paint hung off them like the dog-eared pages of a book, and a couple of dry straggly wild oats waved in the slight breeze.
Grace leapt out of the car and bolted off around the side. Sasha stayed snoozing in the sun. Emily and Barbara’s silence matched the eeriness of the place as they walked the perimeter of the house, which revealed nothing more of interest.
Back at the front door, Barbara squatted to tilt the pot on the left and peer underneath. She held up a single key with a smirk. Emily rolled her eyes in response.
‘I’m almost too scared to open the door – this place gives me the creeps.’ Barbara said.
‘Not exactly the epitome of the welcoming family home, is it?’ Emily said, relieved she didn’t have to pretend anymore.
‘Shall we, just out of curiosity?’ Barbara turned the key and pushed the door ahead of her, but remained standing on the threshold. Emily joined her in peering into the hallway. They turned to look at each other with raised eyebrows before giggling.
Stretching out before them was an expanse of low pile commercial carpet in a gaudy pattern somewhere between floral and geometric that somehow managed to include more than every colour of the rainbow.
‘It’s like an entire paint shop threw up in there,’ Barbara said with a laugh.
‘Well, I guess it won’t show the dirt.’
They took a few steps inside.
‘Now, that’s not fuchsia, not lipstick and not really musk. What would you call that pink?’ Emily asked, indicating the walls.
‘Now that, darling, can only be described as “nipple pink”.’
‘God, you’re right – that’s exactly what it is,’ Emily said, putting her hand across her mouth to stop herself giggling. ‘It’s just awful.’
‘Well, at least you’d also have a new job.’
‘As renovator, painter and decorator?’
‘No. As a madam. If the entrance is anything to go by, this place would make the perfect cheesy brothel.’
Emily giggled again. ‘God, couldn’t you just imagine it? Mum would have a fit.’
‘So, shall we just close the door on this awful experience? There is no way I’m going to let any friend of mine live here. Let’s go and find a nice boring green tree to sit under and have our picnic.’
‘Good idea,’ Emily said, relieved to be leaving the house, but disappointed she hadn’t solved her accommodation problem.
They pulled the door closed behind them, put the key back under the pot, called Grace, and piled back into the car.
‘You really didn’t miss much, Sasha,’ Emily said, looking at the old dog still sleeping on the floor. An ear lifted and fell, and the end of her tail twitched twice in acknowledgment.
After driving for a few minutes and finding a stand of gum trees in a clearing just off the road, they spread out the picnic rug and unloaded Barbara’s large esky.
Again Sasha stayed in the car with the doors open. Grace, sensing the food, stayed close.
They ate in silence for a few moments before Barbara spoke.
‘Now, it’s really none of my business, but I think this might be a good time to ring John. Let him know you really have left him – if indeed you have.’
Emily had been thinking the same thing as she’d munched on her sandwich. ‘To be honest, I was hoping to have had a bit of a plan so I’d feel more confident. If I had somewhere to live at least … This is a lot harder than I thought – maybe I would be better off staying with him.’ A couple of tears broke through her lashes and she rushed to wipe them away.
But they didn’t escape Barbara’s notice. She patted Emily’s hand. ‘It’ll all be okay – you’ll see. You just have to have faith.’
‘In what, though?’
‘Yourself, the universe. The power of positive thinking.’
That’s easy for you to say, when your life is perfect, Emily thought, instantly annoyed at herself for being spiteful when Barbara was being so good to her. ‘I’ll call him when we get back,’ she said, taking another bite of her sandwich. She’d phone her
dad as well, see if he had any bright ideas. Hopefully her mother would be out doing the groceries or something.
After they finished eating they leaned back on the tree trunk. Emily closed her eyes and found herself thinking about the old cottage and the B&B she’d hoped to have one day turned it into. She knew she had to let it go, but it was the only thing she could remember being really excited about in recent years.
Except, of course, for her wedding, she thought wistfully; the excitement of leaving her mother behind and starting a new life with a man she thought she loved. But that had been a different type of excitement – more temporary. Indeed, she thought, acknowledging the irony with a silent inward snort.
‘You know,’ Barbara said, sitting up straighter, ‘I reckon you should write a list of all the things you have to do, right down to the littlest thing, and then cross them off one by one. That way it all might seem a bit more manageable. Like, first you have to phone John. I’m sure once you’ve done that you’ll feel a weight off your mind. It’s just a thought,’ she added, slumping back against the tree and closing her eyes.
‘Hmm, good idea,’ Emily said, already beginning a mental list. She’d write it all down when she got back to Barbara’s and found pen and paper.
‘Ouch!’ Barbara cried suddenly, slapping at her leg.
At almost the same moment Grace yelped and leapt up, and Emily felt something bite the flesh behind her knee.
‘I think the ants have found us,’ Barbara said.
They quickly packed everything up, being careful to shake the picnic rug and make sure they weren’t taking any of the ants with them.
‘I hope you took notice of where we are,’ Emily said, turning the key in the ignition. ‘Because I was too focussed on finding somewhere nice to eat.’
‘I couldn’t concentrate over the rumbling my stomach was doing,’ Barbara replied, laughing. ‘But if we head towards that hill over there we shouldn’t be far from my place,’ she said, pointing to her left.
Emily grinned. ‘Well, looks like it’ll be the trial and error method of navigation then,’ she said as she put the car into gear.
Saving Grace Page 9