Siobhan… would she have known? Lara’s business had been fairly well advertised on social media and so Siobhan surely knew it existed, but perhaps, even if she’d been apprehensive, she wouldn’t necessarily expect Lara to be here because there was more than one wedding coordinator in Chester, after all, and not every couple would hire one anyway. But regardless, would she be feeling anxious now, nervous, as Lara was? Would her eyes be skimming the room, just in case this happened to be one of Lara’s bookings, just in case Chloe and Gez were one of the couples using that kind of service? How well did they know the bride and groom anyway? Would they have heard from Chloe or Gez that they’d hired Lara in particular? Was that why they’d arrived so late – hoping Lara would have left by now? Perhaps not – perhaps Chloe and Gez, if they had said anything, had only mentioned the company name and perhaps Siobhan wouldn’t have made the connection even then.
These and a million other questions too vague and half-formed filled Lara’s head. And then she looked down again at Emma, who was still waiting patiently for a response to whatever question she’d just asked. But Lara couldn’t focus on that now. She didn’t think she could focus on anything now.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘I need to…’
No suitable lie sprang to mind, and so Lara simply hurried away, excusing herself with a brief apology, desperate to get out of sight before Lucien or Siobhan saw her. She couldn’t leave, of course, but perhaps she could head off and stay behind the scenes; with a bit of luck she’d be able to skulk around unnoticed until everyone went home.
Throwing one last glance towards the doors as she left Emma’s table, she saw Lucien put up a hand in greeting to Gez and Chloe, who were now back in the room and partying hard once again. Chloe was swaying on her feet and looking decidedly grey, but she was doing her best to dance, her dress a lot more creased and a lot less elegant than it had been that morning. There were a few ominous stains on it too, but Lara couldn’t think about that now.
They made their way over and Lucien shook hands with Gez while they exchanged a few words. Then Lucien took Siobhan by the hand once more and led her onto the dance floor, and Lara was shot by an arrow of jealousy, a dart of betrayal that lodged right in her heart.
She was hurting but, more than that, she was furious at her reaction. She’d imagined herself well and truly over this – so many times – but it seemed she’d been wrong. Fighting her emotions with every ounce of strength she had, she made a dash for the doors, out towards the river. If she could just have a few minutes to collect herself, steel herself, she might just get through the rest of the night. Perhaps a few minutes would be enough. But then, perhaps no amount of time would ever be enough. The idea that she might always feel like this threatened to overwhelm her. She hated that she still cared, and she hated that she was this weak – that she couldn’t seem to put it behind her.
She sucked in a breath and turned her face to the sky. No – she could do this. A few minutes were all it would take, and surely nobody would miss her? The party was in full swing and everything was going well.
The evening air was fresh and the moon was rising, a huge creamy orb, just visible above the treetops. At any other time, Lara might have marvelled at the brightness of it, at how she could see the seas and canyons that marked its surface even from millions of miles away, and how magical it was as it appeared, haloed in a clear sky not yet bothered by any but the brightest stars. But she didn’t see it, nor did she see the gnats that hung in a lazy cloud beneath the canopy of trailing roses on the veranda, or the fuzzy moths that fluttered and bumped against the yellow lanterns. And she certainly didn’t see Regan, coming the other way. She had no idea the other woman was there until she almost ran into her.
‘Steady on!’ Regan laughed, hands out to stop her.
‘Oh… I’m sorry,’ Lara began, sniffing hard but hardly daring to look her in the eye. She hadn’t wanted anyone to see this, but if she’d had to choose a witness, the last person on her list would have been Regan. Well, perhaps not the supremely irritating Theo either, or Lucien, of course, or Siobhan… Well, basically, she hadn’t wanted anyone to see, though her reasons for not wanting Regan involved were entirely different. She had developed the greatest professional respect for Regan as she’d worked with her today, believing her to be smart, organised and capable, and Lara hoped that Regan might leave tonight with the same impression of her. That was hardly going to happen if she found an emotional jellyfish dashing about the place and wailing about every little upset.
‘I just have to check something…’
But then a pair of firm hands settled on her shoulders to put a stop to her escape, and Lara looked up to see Regan regarding her with concern in her brown eyes.
‘Is everything alright?’
‘Yes.’ Lara gave a brisk nod. ‘Of course.’
‘Well, it doesn’t look that way to me. Is it something I can help with?’
Lara shook her head.
‘I’m a good listener,’ Regan insisted.
‘It’s really nothing.’
‘It doesn’t look like nothing. Come for a walk…’
‘Please,’ Lara said desperately, ‘I’d really rather not talk about it. If you get me talking, the floodgates will open and you might regret asking.’
‘Let them open if it helps,’ Regan said firmly.
Lara only shook her head with more force, clinging to the last vestiges of her control and hoping against hope that she could do it for long enough to get away from this situation without a complete breakdown. If she needed to cry (and the thought that she did made her boil with anger once more at her own weakness) then at least, if she could keep it in until she got home, she could cry everything out of her system then and the incident wouldn’t affect her night’s work.
‘Lara…’ Regan said. ‘Let me get you a drink – wait here.’
‘Honestly,’ Lara began, and then she paused. Regan wasn’t going to give this up; perhaps Lara ought to tell her something just to get her off the case. A half-truth… it wouldn’t hurt, would it?
‘Look, it’s nothing. Someone just came in – a guest – and I was shocked to see them. We had… well, we were together once and it didn’t end all that well. I’m not upset, you understand, and once I’ve had a moment to compose myself it will be fine. It was just seeing him walk in… the shock… I wasn’t expecting it and it threw me.’
Regan took a moment to digest what Lara had told her, holding her in a steady gaze as she did.
‘I understand,’ she said finally, and something in the way she said it told Lara that perhaps she understood a little too well. Had Regan experienced something similar in her past? What secrets were hidden behind that professional, capable exterior?
‘Please… I don’t think you do. I mean, I know you do, but… I appreciate your kindness, but I really do cope better if I can just ignore the thing that’s bothering me and get on. Being nice to me will only make things worse.’
Regan stepped back and gave a vague shrug. ‘Whatever works for you. If you need me don’t hesitate to come and find me.’
Lara’s smile was a bit on the damp side, but it was a smile nonetheless. She’d meant what she’d said when she’d told Regan how much she appreciated her concern, but this wasn’t a burden she wanted to foist on someone she’d just met. For that matter, it wasn’t a burden she’d willingly foist on anyone. ‘Thanks.’
Regan left her with a little nod and went inside. Lara turned back to the dark shapes of the trees that lined the riverbank and let out a long sigh. At least most of her duties were over now, so she shouldn’t need to be in the main room very often – not until the end of the night at least. Then it would be up to her to oversee that all the gifts and cards were collected and sent on to Chloe and Gez’s home, and that all suppliers not answering to Regan were happy and had cleared away after themselves. Which meant dealing with Theo’s band, though Lara wasn’t going to think about that just yet. A few minutes ago she
’d have been concerned by the idea, but now she had far bigger worries.
Lara didn’t think she’d ever seen anyone look as drunk as Chloe did by the end of the night, and she’d seen some impressive states since starting her business. Lucky for Chloe, she had her lovely new husband to look after her, and he’d taken his duties in that regard very seriously.
Lara had seen them to a car and had a brief word with Gez before they’d left for home, and he’d seemed very happy with how the evening had gone, which had made Lara feel a lot better considering how trying it had been. Their honeymoon was to follow in a week or so, which was probably just as well, Lara thought, because Chloe was in no state to go anywhere and would probably need a week to recover.
She’d spent the following hour wrapping things up and chatting to various suppliers and contractors, some of whom she knew from previous weddings. All the while, at the back of her mind, was the thought that if she was backstage with them, she was far less likely to bump into Lucien and Siobhan. With a bit of luck, they’d already gone, though she lingered a little longer with Regan just in case. By the time Regan started to pack up, almost all the guests had left and Lara felt safe enough to go back into the main room, though she wished she hadn’t when she found Theo and Chas, sitting at a table drinking whisky.
‘Don’t worry – it’s only one for the road,’ Chas said as he glanced up to see Lara looking at him. Perhaps her face was showing a particular disapproval, but she certainly hadn’t asked for an explanation. Her gaze flicked to Theo, looking to see if she could find the man who’d danced with Gez’s great-aunt when she’d been left all alone. But he wasn’t there now and Lara had to wonder whether she’d dreamt him after all. The only Theo she found now was the one she didn’t like at all, the careless, almost mischievous cockiness back in his expression. He downed the contents of his glass in one go and slammed it onto the table.
‘Want another?’ Chas asked.
‘I think the bar is closed now,’ Theo replied.
‘The venue is about to lock up,’ Lara said.
‘Yeah; the van’s packed,’ Chas said. ‘We were just having one for the road, but I’ll go and see if I can’t persuade the bartender to sneak us one more before we head off.’
Lara pursed her lips but said nothing. She was sure her expression said it all for her – not that Chas seemed to care. He just grabbed the two shot glasses from the table and sauntered off, whistling to himself.
Lara was left alone with Theo. As she looked at him now, the image of him dancing so chivalrously with Great-Aunt Emma flashed into her brain and she felt, even then, a softening towards him. She wanted to say something encouraging, something about how nice she’d thought his gesture. But instead, her brain beamed in another image that chased that one away: Lucien and Siobhan smooching at a table when she’d been forced to walk that way, when she’d been half-mad with panic that they might break off and see her.
And then they had. Lara must have looked almost comical as she’d frozen, mid-stride. They’d looked straight at her, but neither had made any move to come and speak to her. Nor did they at any other point during the night. She still didn’t know whether to feel relieved about that or hurt that they cared so little that they weren’t even going to attempt any kind of truce – especially Siobhan. Had Lara really meant so little to either of them? Had their years of friendship counted for nothing?
‘You’ve been paid?’ was all she could think to say.
‘I think Gez has sorted something with Chas.’
‘That’s good. Thanks for… well, not buggering off when I couldn’t find your booking.’
‘Thanks for saving your bacon, eh?’
Lara’s forehead contracted into a frown now. She did not need her bacon saving by anyone, least of all a smug little cat-nabber. Was he implying that she was incompetent, unable to do her job? It hadn’t been her fault that her list of bookings wasn’t right. She looked at Theo, and the man who’d danced with Great-Aunt Emma definitely wasn’t there. No, she decided, the man she’d hoped to see again really hadn’t ever been there at all. She must have imagined him.
‘If you’ll excuse me,’ she began stiffly, ‘I’ve got a lot to do before I can go home.’
‘Are you OK?’ he asked.
Lara stared at him, caught off guard. ‘Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?’
‘Only… I couldn’t help noticing you seemed upset earlier.’
‘Oh? Earlier when?’
‘I don’t know… I’d just got back on the stage after I got off for a dance and I saw you rush out.’
‘Really? Well I wasn’t upset. I had something that needed seeing to urgently.’
‘You’re sure?’
‘Of course I’m sure.’
‘But if you needed—’
‘I don’t. I don’t need anything other than to get finished up here so I can go home to my cat.’
At this, the concern he’d worn lifted and he changed into someone that Lara recognised only too well. ‘Our cat, you mean.’
‘Whatever,’ Lara returned sourly. She didn’t want to admit it, but it was becoming more and more difficult to deny that he had a point. Whether she liked it or not, it was obvious they were sharing the same cat. She couldn’t imagine how Fluffy could have chosen two less well-suited people to throw into this co-ownership arrangement though. If cats thought like humans, then Fluffy was probably having a good old chuckle on a nightly basis over his little prank.
‘We’re done…’
They both looked to see Chas walking back towards them.
‘No chance of another drink,’ he continued. ‘They’ve already cashed up and I couldn’t persuade them to open the till again.’
‘Probably because it’s illegal,’ Lara said coldly. ‘There are licensing laws for a reason, you know.’
‘Whatever,’ Chas sniffed. He looked at Theo, ignoring Lara. She couldn’t decide at that moment which of the two men she wanted to punch the most.
‘Are you coming or what?’ he asked, jerking his head at the doors. ‘The van’s packed up – Sam and Joe are just sharing a ciggie by the river.’
‘I think they lock the gates any time now,’ Lara said crisply, just in case they were thinking they might spend the night messing around by the river, sharing ciggies or whatever other juvenile activity they were planning on doing. Probably swapping football cards or poring over grubby porn magazines that one of them had stolen from their dad or something.
Theo got up from the table. ‘Yeah, ready for the road if I’m honest.’
‘Got to go home and feed your cat, eh?’ Chas said with a broad grin. Lara ground her teeth and internally counted to ten. Theo turned to her.
‘See you around then.’
‘I’m sure,’ Lara said.
She watched them walk away. What an arrogant, smart-arsed, smug little… No, Lara!
She chased the image away. Why on earth would she want to kiss a man like that?
Ten
The following Monday morning Lara rammed the last corner of toast into her mouth and chewed rapidly. It was lucky that a work commute for her meant walking the length of her garden because any further and she would never be in on time. She could never figure out how it had happened that her morning routine had become so lax; she’d never been like this when she’d had a proper job where she had a boss to answer to and a desk to be at by nine. Somehow, being her own boss had changed all that, and not always in a good way.
She had to be disciplined, of course, otherwise there lay a slippery slope, and, if she wasn’t careful, in a year’s time it would be rolling into work in pyjamas with a bowl of cereal in her hands. And what kind of example would it set for Betsy if Lara swanned in whenever she felt like?
Pouring the last of her coffee down her throat before the toast had even left her mouth, Lara grabbed her phone and the keys to the summer house before heading out of the back door.
It was as she was tucking the phone into the back pocket of
her linen trousers that it pinged to announce a message.
‘Tough,’ she muttered. ‘Whoever you are I don’t have time for you now.’
There wasn’t anyone she could think of who would need her that urgently – apart from a client, of course – but they’d more likely call the business number to speak to her. It was probably her mum, fussing about something she’d lost and hoping that Lara would know where the offending item was. She often did this, and yet Lara had more hope of finding the Loch Ness monster than she did of finding whatever it was that had disappeared into the sea of her mother’s clutter.
Whether it was or wasn’t, it would have to wait for a few minutes because she had to be at her desk before Betsy arrived so that she could divide up the tasks for the day into things that Betsy could do and things that she herself needed to take care of. Before she could do that she had to unlock the side gate to the garden so that Betsy would be able to get in, and without giving the text another thought, she hurried out to open up.
Fluffy was on the patio, stretched out in the early morning sun. Lara had felt unnecessarily triumphant that he’d been around for most of the weekend; to imagine Theo out looking for him gave her a certain pleasure that she was well aware was unbecoming. Still, it was there all the same, whether she liked it or not, and she decided not to let it spoil the fact that she got to enjoy her cat for most of her lazy Sunday.
She paused and crouched to give his belly a tickle, causing him to open his eyes and give her a look of the vaguest vexation before deciding that she wasn’t so annoying after all and settling back to sleep. Lara smiled and stood up again. He probably wouldn’t go far for the next few hours, and maybe she could persuade him to take up residence in her office for the remainder of the morning with a few cat treats once she’d got the workday up and running.
The Break Up: The perfect heartwarming romantic comedy Page 11