by Ava Walsh
As I work, my mind drifts to the fact that I will have to face Ethan soon. It’s inevitable. I hear he’s a part of the wedding as well. Glancing at the clock above the counter, my pulse rate kicks up a notch. He’s here in Lakeville this very minute. I managed to casually ask Amanda when he was flying in. It would be nice if I could question her about him without appearing too obvious. The magazines, newspapers and social media help me to keep up with him. But Amanda would have the real inside scoop. Is he in a relationship? Does he ask about me? Realizing that I’m being pathetic, I roll my eyes and focus on keeping the customers happy.
Reaching a table, I unload my tray and make small talk with the folks at the table. The commotion behind me draws my attention. I turn to see a small group gathering around a newcomer. My brows lift. What’s all the excitement about?
“We all love you,” I hear someone say.
“Yes, we’re very proud to have such a big football star come from our little town.”
My eyes widen. Football star. There’s only one football star who comes from Lakeville. My mouth dries as the crowd parts. Standing in the midst of adoring residents is Ethan. Our eyes meet, and I’m suddenly paralyzed. Shock, excitement, dismay, every emotion courses through me at once, making me numb. The tray slips from my fingers. Thank goodness it’s empty. A smile spreads across Ethan’s face, and he steps toward me. It’s as if time has slowed down and everyone else had disappeared from the restaurant. He’s still as handsome as ever. His green eyes still sparkle with mischief. His hair is a bit longer than I remember and sexily windblown, and his lips are curled in that seductive way that brings women to their knees. Is it just me or does he appear bigger, more muscular?
“Lindsay,” is all he says.
“Ethan.” I manage to get his name out. My very brain is frozen. I must look like a gawking idiot. Swallowing hard and blinking rapidly, I weakly ask, “What are you doing here?”
His smile fades just a bit. “I’m here to see you. Amanda told me you were here.” There’s confusion in his eyes until his gaze roams over me, taking in my attire. I’m dressed in the red checkered uniform Mr. Edmond requires his workers to wear. My cheeks flush red with my embarrassment as realization flashed in Ethan’s eyes. He blinks, and then bends down to pick up the tray I dropped.
“Thanks,” I murmur, unable to meet his gaze. Before I even realize that Ethan has moved, I’m drawn into a strong embrace. My arms fly out to wrap around him. His intoxicating scent fills my nostrils. He smells the same as he did years ago when my naked body was wrapped around his. Everything that I have ever felt for this man, every feeling that I tried to suppress over the years, comes crashing down on me. The burden of the secret I keep is also there, as a crushing weight on my chest. I subtly pull away from him.
“Look at you, Lindsay. I can’t believe it’s been so long. It shouldn’t have been that way. Things should have been different,” he says. I look up at him. He’s looking at me, but he seems to be talking to himself. My brows crease with confusion. Ethan appears to snap out of the trance he was in. “How are you?”
I can feel the many eyes of the patrons on us and want to disappear. I hate attention. “I-I’m okay. How are you, Ethan?”
He smiles. “You’re the only person to ask me that since I arrived. I’m great. Even better now that I have seen you.” Heat flickers in his gaze as he continued to look me over.
My eyes widen. Needless to say, I’m taken aback. Is he flirting with me? No way. It must be my imagination. “It’s great to see you, Ethan, but I need to get back to work.” I blush as the words leave my mouth. I wonder what he’s thinking after discovering that I work here.
He doesn’t say anything about it, only nods. “Uh, yeah, of course. What time do you get off?”
I eye him, hesitantly answering. “F-four.”
“I’ll stick around until then.”
He turns and heads to an empty table before I can respond. Is he going to stay here for another hour? I stifle a groan. Ethan’s presence in the diner will drive me up the wall. With any luck, I’ll be able to hide in the kitchen the majority of the time.
It’s the longest hour I have experienced in my life. As I move around the restaurant, I can feel Ethan’s eyes on me, following my every move. It’s so disconcerting. When I can take it no longer, I scurry to the kitchen, hoping that the boss isn’t there to reprimand me for shirking my duties. I push through the doors and lean against them when they close.
“What’s wrong, sweetness?”
I open my eyes to look at Marion. “Er, nothing. Just tired. You know, taking a breather.”
She doesn’t seem convinced. “Mhmm, and this has nothing to do with the tall drink of water who came in earlier? My, my, that Ethan Taylor is even better looking than when he left, if that’s even possible.”
“Why would him being here affect me?” I’m trying my best to sound nonchalant.
“Don’t think I didn’t see you two hugging.” Marion points to the small circular windows in the kitchen doors.
“We’re friends. We practically grew up together. Old friends sharing a hug after years apart is no big deal.”
Marion lets out a laugh. “I saw the way he looked at you. There was more than friendliness in those eyes, I tell you.”
Okay, now I’m thinking I would prefer to go back outside and put up with Ethan’s searing glances rather than put up with Marion’s speculating gaze. “Oh no, I forgot to bring table four their drinks.” With that, I turn and high-tail it out of the kitchen, leaving Marion smirking knowingly.
Chapter Seven
Ethan
I watch her emerge from the back room, her steps hurried. A frown forms on my face when I realize that she is heading toward the door. It is then I notice the handbag over her shoulder. Is she leaving without saying a word to me? “What the hell?” I jump up and quickly follow her out the door.
“Lindsay! Wait up. What, did you forget I was waiting for you?”
She glances over her shoulder, giving me a glimpse of her distress. Did someone inside the diner upset her? Catching up with her, I grasp her elbow. “Lindsay, hold on. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, I just- I’m late. I have to get to work, my other job.” She pulls out of my grip and keeps walking.
I follow her until she stops at a white car. “Oh, I thought you would be finished for the day. I had hoped to take you out, you know, so we could catch up.”
“Catch up on what, exactly?” She turns to look at me, her eyes blazing with anger. But why anger? I’m sure it couldn’t have been anything I said or did.
I shrug. “On everything, I suppose. It’s been years.”
“As I recall, it’s your sister and me who are friends, not you and me. So I don’t see what we need to chat about.”
I take a step back. I seem to be pissing everyone off today, first Amanda and now Lindsay. At least I know what I said to anger Amanda. What is Lindsay’s deal? “What’s wrong? You seemed fine inside and then you just came out in a blaze of fury. Did something happen inside?”
She looks at me for a few seconds and softens. “I’m sorry, Ethan. I- It’s not you. I’m just stressed.” She averts her gaze. “Look, I have to go.”
“Okay. What time will you be free?”
“I’ll be home by nine tonight.” She stops, clamping her mouth shut.
“Alright, let’s meet up then.”
My gaze drops to her mouth, drawn by the way her small white teeth worries her lower lip. Such succulent lips. I remember how they felt against mine. She hasn’t changed much. If anything she’s more beautiful, and her raven hair has been cut shorter. Crystal blue eyes stare up at me as if she’s considering my offer. All I want to do is kiss her, to experience how she tastes again, how her body feels pressed against mine. She opens her mouth to speak, but my mouth covers her in a swift movement. I’m just as surprised as she is by my lack of control. Swallowing her small gasp, my lips move over hers, urging her to kiss me back. F
or a brief second, I fear she won’t, until I feel the tension seep from her body and her lips begin to move, parting slightly. It’s the only invitation I need, my tongue plunging into the warm cavern of her mouth.
Our kiss becomes more urgent, greedy. My hand curls around the nape of her neck, pulling her closer. I’m on fire, my blood heating, coursing through my veins like molten lava. How is it that one kiss from Lindsay can drive away my self-control? Her small moan pulls me back from the precipice of my lust, reminding me that we are in a parking lot. I pull my head away, instantly releasing her. We are both breathless. I step away, seeing the shock in her eyes.
“Lindsay, I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”
Her eyes dart around anxiously, probably hoping that no one witnessed our exchange. I don’t give a damn if the entire world saw. I’ve just discovered that I still want Lindsay Williams with such fierceness that I might go mad if I don’t have her.
“I should go.” Lindsay opens the door and ducks into her car.
“Wait, I didn’t get-” She slams the door, cutting me off. “Your address.” The engine roars to life and she drives off in a screech of tires. I watch, dumbfounded, as her car disappears. I run my fingers through my hair in frustration. A woman has never run from me after being kissed before. Lindsay’s bizarre behavior has me floored. Sure, it might be a bit awkward after what happened between us and the fact that things ended over the phone, but it’s like she’s terrified of my presence. But why? I don’t intend to give up so easily. She left without giving me her address, but I know where her mother lives. Plus, it’s a small town. She won’t be that hard to find.
I walk back to my car, wondering what the hell I’m doing. If Lindsay doesn’t want anything to do with me then I should just let it go and leave her alone. I have never chased women. What makes Lindsay so special? I sigh, already knowing the answer to the question. She’s the first and only woman to make me feel something more than lust. Years ago, when she expressed that she wanted me, as much as I wanted to take her immediately, I was hesitant. Because I realized that she was the kind of girl for a real relationship.
Regardless of my rakish ways and who everyone assumed I was, I had intended on attempting a real relationship with Lindsay. I was willing to try the long distance thing until she finished school. After all, I had enough money to visit her anywhere she was, often. But she wasn’t interested, and I let it go, returning to my string of women and partying. As I sit in my car, staring ahead, I wonder if I should let it go this time around as well.
“No, I have to talk to her.” It’s time we settle the score once and for all. I’ll tell her how I feel and see what happens.
Chapter Eight
Lindsay
It’s well past nine as I make my way home. Pulling my phone out, I dial my mother’s number.
“Hi, sweetheart.”
“Hey, mom. Is Casey all ready to go? I’m on my way now.”
“Oh, she’s fast asleep. Maybe you should just leave her with me tonight.”
I contemplate the suggestion. It would save me the extra ten minute trip to my mother’s place. And I really don’t want to wake Casey up. If I do, she’ll never go back to sleep tonight. “Okay, if you don’t mind.”
My mom chuckles. “You know I don’t mind. I love having Casey here. You know how lonely I get sometimes.”
I sigh. “Yeah. Okay, thanks, mom. I’ll drop by tomorrow.”
“Good night, honey.”
I hang up the phone feeling guilty. Mom has asked me to move back in with her several times. Since my dad died, she’s been craving company. But I can’t bear to stay in that house without remembering how disappointed in me my father was before he passed away in that very house. Letting out a sigh, I park my car and head inside. Now isn’t the time to dredge up such memories. I’m way too tired. I have also tried to avoid thinking of the kiss Ethan and I shared earlier. My lips are still tingling hours later. I reach into my bag for my keys and open the door.
“Lindsay.”
With a yelp, I turn around to see Ethan walking up the steps. “Oh my God, Ethan. You scared me.”
“I’m sorry.” He is standing a few feet away from me with his hands in his pocket.
“How did you find me?”
He shrugs. “I considered visiting your mother but after asking around town, I got your address.”
My heart stills at the mention of him going to my mother’s. Thank God he didn’t. Casey is there. “What do you want?”
“I want to talk, Lindsay. Can we just sit and have a decent conversation, please?”
That would require him coming into my apartment. I glance back at my half open door nervously. “Um, okay. Maybe we can stay out here or go into your car.”
Ethan’s brows crease, and he gives me a strange look. “Perhaps we would be more comfortable inside. Come on, Lindsay. Are you afraid to invite me in? It’s not like I’m some stranger.”
Do I tell him that I’m self-conscious about the state of my apartment? He’s used to glamorous hotels and penthouses. My place is on the negative side of the glamorous scale. “Well, it’s just that- my apartment isn’t in order for visitors.” Ethan takes me by surprise when he lets out an annoyed growl and steps past me. He pulls me inside in the process. “Hey, I didn’t say you could come in,” I protest.
“Shut it, Lindsay. I’m already inside.”
Seething, I close the door and turn to face him. “Fine, you’re in. What do you want to talk about?” We might as well get it over with so that I can send him on his way. Thank goodness I decided to leave Casey with my mom tonight. I don’t even want to imagine how it would have gone down if Ethan had seen her tonight.
“I want to talk about us.” Ethan is staring at me with the same intensity that I’m sure I have in my own gaze.
“There is no us, Ethan. There, we’ve talked. You can go now.”
There is a string of expletives, which cause my brows to shoot up. “You kiss your mother with that mouth, Ethan?”
“I like kissing you more.” Color crept up my neck and spread to my cheeks. He grinned wickedly, knowingly. “I know you like it too, Lindsay. The way you melted in my arms earlier today was all the indication I need.”
Well, he isn’t wrong. The kiss we shared was everything, and I would love to experience it again and again. I purse my lips. “It won’t happen again. I’m not going down that road with you, Ethan. Sure, I had a crush on you a few years ago, but we parted ways, and I don’t feel the same way anymore.”
He steps closer to me. I’m very much aware of his imposing presence, making my apartment seem smaller than it is. I want to take a step back, to put distance between us, but I refuse to let him see how much his proximity affects me.
“As I recall, it was more than a crush. Have your feelings for me truly faded, Lindsay?” His tone is low and seductive, washing over me like a gentle caress. His eyes are smoldering, penetrating my very soul. If I lie, he’ll know.
“No.” The word spills from my lips, emerging more breathless than I had intended. I swallow hard. Since I’m being honest, I might as well let him know about our daughter. If he ends up hating me, so be it. Keeping the secret for three years has been torturous. “Ethan, I-”
His mouth captures mine, cutting off my confession. “I never stopped thinking about you,” he whispers against my lips, “About where things could have led.”
His admission takes me by surprise. I want to ask him how he found time to think about me with all of his female companions occupying his time, his bed. But I’m enjoying the way his lips are gently grazing mine too much, and I don’t want to him to stop. He pulls me closer so that I can feel the evidence of his need. I can’t help but feel flattered that I’m affecting him in such a way. His tongue plunges into my mouth and I let out a small moan, wrapping my arms more tightly around his neck.
Ethan pulls back slightly to grin at me. “Obviously I still want you. Bedroom?”
If we
go into my bedroom, he’ll see Casey’s crib. “Right here,” I whisper, glancing at the couch. I’m relieved when his grin broadens and his head dips to cover my mouth with his once again. It doesn’t take long for the passion between us to erupt into a full, all-consuming blaze. Years of pent up desire and emotions erupt. The tender kiss we share becomes more urgent.
Ethan’s mouth leaves mine to feather kisses down my neck. His hands cup my bottom, pulling me against his erection. I feel his hands slip beneath my shirt to caress my skin. A shudder runs through me. I’ve dreamed of his hands on me so many times. My shirt is pulled over my head, followed by my bra. Ethan wastes no time palming my bare breasts, bending his head to flick his tongue over one nipple. I gasp, moisture seeping into my panties. He moves on to the other breast to deliver his delicious assault.
It has been almost four years since I’ve been touched like this, so my body is extra sensitive to his touch. The slightest graze makes me feel like I’m about to combust. “I want to feel your skin against mine,” I whisper.
He lifts his head, a smile tugging on his lips. There is something like relief in his eyes. Did he think I wouldn’t want him? What woman wouldn’t? He hooks his thumbs into the waistband of my pants and slides them over my hips and down my thighs. Every piece of my clothing is removed, leaving me vulnerable to his probing gaze.
“You’re so beautiful, Lindsay, every inch of you. I wondered when I would get to feast my eyes on you again.” He begins to remove his clothes and I watch, mesmerized by the ripple of his muscles with each movement. The need to touch him gives me the courage to step forward to run my hands over his velvety skin. My hands slide over his defined chest and abdomen, slipping lower to his jutting erection. I glance up at him before gripping him with shaky fingers. He inhales sharply and fire flashes in his eyes. Timidly, I begin to move my hands, stroking him gently. I’m satisfied with the way he pants as if he’s fighting for control. Bringing a man like Ethan to such a state is extremely empowering. I tighten my hold.