“That poor girl.”
“Yes.” His voice cracked with emotion. He waited for her to say something more, to get angry or disgusted and place blame where it clearly belonged. His muscles tensed in preparation of accepting his due, but she simply squeezed his forearm, her gaze remaining warm and caring.
He didn’t know what he’d done to deserve her, but he thanked his lucky stars just the same and told her the rest of the story. “When I went looking for her to apologize the next morning, she was gone. She’d been taken to the hospital that night, and news had spread throughout the campus by morning. She never returned to school. I tried for weeks to reach her, but she didn’t return my calls.”
“And you blame yourself,” Mira said softly.
“Of course I do. If I had met her when I was supposed to, that wouldn’t have happened. I never would have let her walk home alone.”
“But you can’t know what would have actually happened,” Mira pointed out.
“You’re right. The only thing that matters is what did happen.”
“Oh, Matt. I get it, I really do, but sometimes having a big heart makes life much harder than it needs to be. Did they catch the guy who did it?”
Matt shrugged. “There were rumors, but as far as I know, no one was ever arrested.”
“So ever since that night you’ve been stepping in and helping people when they’re in trouble, as some kind of self-inflicted penance?”
“Pretty much. Making up for the mistake I can never take back. And trust me, I understand all the psych stuff behind it. It’s not like I don’t fully comprehend why I do it. Although my brothers will tell you that I went out of my way to help people even before that, which was true. It just wasn’t fueled by the same fire.”
“So…are the rumors true? Do you go out looking for people to save?”
He could deny it, not reveal exactly how deep those demons ran, and she’d never know. But he didn’t want there to be any secrets between them. That was something his mother had drilled into his head as he was growing up, just as she’d drilled into his head that following his heart was the key to a happy life. Matt was beginning to understand that in a much bigger way than he ever had.
“I used to,” he admitted cautiously, watching her process his words. “I’ve helped a lot of people.” He had no idea how many people he’d helped over the years, because he hadn’t been mentally ticking off a debt. It had simply become a way of life.
“Why did you stop?”
“Stop?”
“You said you used to go looking for people to help. Why did you stop?”
He smiled. Finally an easy question. “It wasn’t a cognitive process. I realized the other day that since I’ve been home, since you and I started going out, things changed. I’m no longer restless and unsettled like I always was. I don’t have that urge to chase ghosts.”
Her thin brows slanted in a frown. “Does that mean you think me and Hagen need saving?”
“No, sunshine. You and Hagen don’t need saving. I care about you both, and part of caring is protecting, but it’s not saving.” Her lips curved up, and the worry seemed to drift from her expression. He moved closer, needing the connection as he revealed his truest secrets.
“My life has changed. When I was teaching, I rarely had time for anything else, which is one of the reasons I’m seriously considering giving it up. Helping others was probably also my way of filling a void that I was trying to ignore. And after we met that void became harder and harder to ignore. I wanted you, and I worried about you and Hagen, but I had to continually bury those feelings because you were here and I was hours away.” He paused briefly.
“I’m not going out looking for those situations anymore because that void has been filled in a normal, natural way by being here for you and Hagen, and probably also by reconnecting with my family and being here for them.”
She squeezed his hand. “Good, because I don’t think we need saving either, but we love having you in our lives. Have you thought about tracking down Cindy to apologize and try to gain some closure?”
“I’ve thought about it many times, but it might do more harm than good for her, and she’s the one who’s important in that scenario. And, Mira, closure won’t change my behavior. This is who I am. I won’t turn my back on someone in need, but I promise you I will never do anything that puts you or Hagen in jeopardy. If this is a problem for you, then you have a decision to make, sunshine. Either you can deal with a guy like me, or you can’t. It’s best we figure that out sooner rather than later.”
The front door opened and Hagen ran through the house. “Mom!”
Matt and Mira rose and ascended the steps just as Hagen flew through the back door with a big smile and leaped into Mira’s waiting arms.
“We had the best time!” Hagen said as Mira kissed his cheek. Pushing from his mother’s arms, Hagen hugged Matt. “I showed them how to use the compass and led a hike through the woods! Are you staying for dinner? Uncle Drake and Uncle Rick taught me how to cook over a fire, and I want to cook for you and Mom.”
“That’s your mom’s decision, little man.” Matt looked at Mira.
Her eyes brimmed with unmistakable tenderness and passion. “My decision is”—she paused for a prolonged moment, and in the silence, in the love in her eyes and the warmth emanating from her, her answer to his earlier question became clear—“absolutely. Matt can stay as long as he’d like.”
Chapter Twenty
FALLING BACK INTO mommy mode was easy, work mode, not so much. Thoughts of her love-filled weekend with Matt clouded Mira’s thoughts. When Matt showed up to take Hagen to camp Monday morning, the sparks she’d come to expect when they were together flew, but they were carried by much deeper emotions than just a few days earlier. They’d shared so much of themselves, the line between where her life ended and his began blurred, and she liked it. A lot.
Forcing herself to take advantage of the quiet time Matt afforded her by driving Hagen to camp, she set to work calling the companies she hoped to interest in the co-op. The first few calls garnered minor interest, but only after answering questions that made her feel like a felon or a scam artist—How did you get my name? What makes you think our business needs help? This was not being received as the promising endeavor she’d hoped it would.
As she gathered her things to leave for work, her phone rang, and Matt’s picture flashed on the screen. Just seeing his image made her pulse quicken.
“The eagle has landed,” Matt said in a mysterious voice.
Mira laughed. “Thank you so much. Was Hagen okay?”
“He was great. We had a blast. We talked about the raft we’re going to build, and if it’s okay with you, we thought we could start a week from Saturday. I figured it might take a few weeks to get your arms around the co-op stuff, and I didn’t want to put any pressure on you.”
Tumble, tumble, tumble.
She was tumbling head over heels for this incredibly caring man. “Sure. That’s perfect.”
“Great. I’ll let Pete and my dad know. Let’s make a day of it. Bring your suit, and you and Jenna can hang out on the beach while we do guy stuff.”
Guy stuff. Why did she love that so much? Because it’s his and Hagen’s thing.
“Sounds like a sly way for you to see me in my bathing suit again.”
“Sunshine, I’ll take all I can get of seeing you—clothed, naked, scantily clad.”
She felt herself blushing. “Mm. Sounds good to me.”
“I’d take this further, but I’m pulling up to Seaside and don’t need to be caught with tented pants.”
“No, we wouldn’t want that,” she said with a giggle as she carried her things out to the car.
“I almost forgot. Apparently there’s a field trip at Hagen’s camp Thursday.”
“Yeah, to the playhouse. I filled out all the forms. Do they need something else?”
“No, but Hagen asked if I would chaperone.”
As Mira start
ed her car, she thought maybe she’d heard him wrong. “He asked you to chaperone?”
“Yup. Is that okay?”
“Do you want to chaperone?” Mira had chaperoned school trips so many times in the past, her nerves were on edge just thinking about watching over all those excited children.
“Why not? I haven’t seen The Wizard of Oz in years, and Hagen promised to make sure I didn’t get scared when the flying monkeys came on stage. How can I pass that up?”
It warmed her heart thinking about Matt wanting to do this for Hagen and that Hagen had made that promise. He liked to take care of the people he cared about just like Matt.
“What about your writing? I don’t want you to feel like you have to do it just because he asked.”
“Mira, I want to, and my writing is fine. This morning I wrote for two hours before driving Hagen, and I’ll write for another few hours after we get off the phone. Rest assured, I don’t feel like I have to do anything. I’ve waited months to be able to do these things. Now, stop worrying and tell me about your calls.”
As she drove to work, she told him about her morning. “All the research I did just made me look like a scam artist who wants to take their money.”
“Because they don’t know you. I get it. It’s like when I first began receiving emails from publishers. They were just faceless sales pitches. You need a personal connection.”
“A personal connection? But how? What made you decide which publishers to call back?”
“That was an easy decision. One of the emails was less of a sales pitch. It asked if we could sit down over lunch and talk. It was a no-brainer after that. He was a living, breathing person. That’s it, Mira. That’s what you need.”
“How can I do that? I work full-time and have Hagen. I can’t exactly take the time to visit a dozen businesses.”
“No, but you said you had three out of nine companies who requested more information, and you only need six, right? Isn’t that what you said?”
“Depending on the investments from each, five or six, yes.” She parked behind the hardware store. “Are you thinking I should keep trying to garner interest, and then go visit the businesses who request more information? Two of the three are in Boston and the other is in New York.”
“Exactly, sunshine. You wanted to take a trip down the East Coast. Why not mix business and pleasure?”
“I want to take the road trip as a vacation with Hagen. There’s no way I can meet business owners with a six-year-old in tow, and I can’t leave him for a week.”
“You’ve got me now, and a little boy who wants to see a few special libraries. We’ll all go. I’ll watch Hagen while you meet with them. It can’t take more than a few hours at most with each. Then we’ll hit the libraries. It’ll be fun. We might not be able to see all of the locations you and Hagen planned, but I’ll make sure he has a great time.”
“Are you kidding? Even if I get five or six people to agree to meet with me, that could take a week or more with driving time.”
“So we’ll fly if we have to.”
“I can’t afford that.” She cut the engine and sank back in her seat. “This is too much, Matt. I don’t think I can make it happen.”
“But I can, and it’s my father’s store you’re trying to save.”
“Matt…” Could she let him do this? It was a lot of money and time. “What about your writing? You said you needed to go into Boston next weekend for research. I can’t keep you from that. Besides, how can you get anything done if we’re traveling? You only have a few weeks before you have to go back.”
“I have several weeks, and I’ll make the time to write in the mornings before Hagen’s awake, or after he goes to sleep at night. And I’ll put off the research in Boston until we take the trip.”
“But I can’t leave your father without help for that long.”
“You won’t need to. My father built that store for his family. It’s about time we stepped up and helped him out. I’ll take care of it. If we work together, we can do this. Can you handle making more calls if I drive Hagen into camp for the next few days?”
Between her excitement over taking this project to the next level and Matt’s selfless offer, she could barely think.
“What do you say, sunshine? Want to go on a road trip with your two favorite men?”
“More than you can imagine.”
MATT HEADED OVER to Pete’s yard, where he and Caden were unloading pieces of a swing set from Pete’s truck. Joey barked and trotted over. She jumped up, putting her paws on Matt’s thighs, and he loved her up.
“Hey, Matt,” Caden said. “You two catch up. Pete, I’m going to run inside and grab a drink. You two want anything?”
“No. I’m good, thanks,” Matt answered.
“No, thanks. Down, Joey,” Pete said, and the pup dropped to all fours. “Sorry about that. I was going to text you. You up for a baseball game with me and the guys Tuesday night?”
“I haven’t been to a game in ages. Yeah, I’m in. Should I ask Mira and Hagen?”
“Not this time. Just Hagen, if that’s okay? We’re doing a daddy-child outing. We do it every few weeks. It gives the girls a break, and we get time with our kids. Win-win.”
“Sounds good. I’ll ask Mira, but count me and Hagen in.”
“Will do. What’s going on with you? How was Nantucket?”
“We had a great time, but I need a favor. Remember what I told you Mira said about Dad’s store?”
“Yeah.” Pete reached down and petted Joey, who was whimpering for attention.
Matt knelt beside her and let her lick his entire face.
“You’re such a pushover,” Pete teased.
“Look who’s talking.” Matt told him about his and Mira’s plan for the co-op. “I need everyone to pitch in and watch the store while we’re gone. I’ll talk to Grayson, Hunter, and Sky. Can you help for a day or two?”
“What are you thinking? A week? Ten days?”
“A week on the outside, I think.” Matt rose to his feet as Jenna came out of the cottage with Bea, and Joey ran to greet them.
“Unca Matt!” Bea toddled over in a pretty blue sundress.
“Hi, beautiful.” He lifted her into his arms, kissing her pudgy cheeks.
Pete smiled. “She loves having you around, you know.”
“Yeah. I love being around.” Matt met Pete’s serious gaze. “What do you say? Think you can help out while we’re gone?”
“Where are you going?” Jenna asked as she came to his side wearing a similar dress to Bea’s and matching flip-flops.
Pete explained what was going on.
“They’ll do it. Don’t you worry, because if they can’t, the girls and I will.” Jenna waggled her brows. “Things are looking serious, huh?” She went up on her toes and pulled Matt’s shirt, tugging him down so she could speak in his ear. “If you break her heart, Pete will kill you.”
Matt glanced at Pete, who shrugged and said, “She’s probably right. She’s been a saving grace for Dad. He treats her like another daughter.”
He gave Bea one last kiss, then handed her to Pete. “She’s a saving grace for me, too.”
After talking with Pete, Matt called Grayson at Grunter’s, who put him on speakerphone so Hunter could take part in the conversation.
“Hey, bro,” Hunter said. “I hear you and Mira have become inseparable. It took you long enough.”
Matt laughed, because he’d been telling himself it was about damn time, too.
“We’re happy for you,” Grayson said.
“Thanks. I appreciate that.” He explained what was going on with the co-op and asked if they’d be willing to help out.
“Sure. Parker and I are back until the wedding, so I can definitely make the time,” Grayson answered.
“I’m in,” Hunter offered. “But let me get this straight. You took a sabbatical to write, and instead you’re spending weekends on Nantucket screwing your brains out, and—”
Hu
nter’s voice faded, and Matt heard a scuffle but couldn’t make out what they were saying. He grinned, knowing Grayson was giving Hunter hell for his crass remark.
“Christ, Gray!” Hunter hollered. Then there was more scuffling.
“Tell him,” Grayson said sternly. Then they both laughed.
“The idiot sucker punched me,” Hunter snapped.
Good times. Matt snickered.
“Sorry, Matt,” Hunter relented. “You know what I meant. You’re putting writing second to a relationship. That’s a huge deal for you.”
“Why didn’t you say that the first time?” Grayson asked with a serious tone.
“Jesus, Gray,” Hunter said. “Screwing his brains out is a good thing.”
The conversation circled back to covering the store, and by the time Matt hung up and called Sky, he was grinning like a fool. He’d missed his brothers far more than he’d ever let himself realize.
He explained to Sky where he and Mira were relationship-wise, because that’s what she cared about most, and then told her about their plans.
“Are you kidding?” Sky squealed. “Of course I’ll pitch in. Whatever you need. Cree can fill in for me here, so you guys figure out a schedule, and I’ll be there.” Cree was her newest employee.
“Thanks, Sky.”
“I’ll call the girls. Mira’s going to need help. She can’t possibly get everything she’ll need for these meetings done by herself.”
“She’s got me,” Matt reminded her, though he was thrilled to hear his sister wanted to rally the troops for Mira.
“Yeah, but you’re not us. The girls and I planned the whole triple wedding. Well, with the help of Lizzie and her friend Brandy for flowers and catering, of course. We can whip up whatever Mira needs so she’s prepared.” Sky filled Matt in on every detail of what they’d planned for her upcoming nuptials. “My only wish is that Mom could be here to see us all walk down the aisle.”
Matt’s heart squeezed at the mention of their mother. He missed her, and he, too, wished she could be there to see his siblings get married. He realized that the guilt that had shadowed him ever since his mother’s death had finally lifted, and he felt that was connected to being back home and reconnecting with his family.
Seaside Whispers: Matt Lacroux (Love in Bloom: Seaside Summers) Page 17