by Zoey Indiana
How can you trust anyone? You ruin everyone and everything around you. It was your fault that Lyn’Da couldn’t be saved.
Panic pulled at her, there had to be something she could do. Some way to better herself and be the asset she was born to be.
You would just fuck that up too. You almost got the most important member of the Resistance killed during a stupid plan.
Cay.
He was in danger every second she remained near him. He’d almost died because she was being tracked. The best thing she could do was make sure Cay was safe in the hands of the Resistance, then leave the colony. Unsure of who she could still trust in the Resistance, she had to find a new plan. If Jay’La escaped before they’d captured her, she could find her and they could form a new plan. Nova could retrieve the handheld she’d taken from Lyn’Da and decrypt it. Hopefully it had something she could use on it, then she could refocus on bringing down the Sovereign.
You were born ARI. Nothing you can do will make up for that.
Nova caught herself before she screamed at the self-doubt in her mind. She had a new plan and she would stick to it. Aware of her surroundings, she got off the Infirm bed and stopped the woman closest to her.
“Where is Cay?” When the woman stared at her with a blank look, she explained. “The man I came here with.”
“Oh, that’s his name.” The woman’s eyes lit up. “Follow me. I’ll take you to where he is.”
The walk to Cay was longer than she expected. Why wasn’t he in the Infirm with her? She followed the woman around the corner and stumbled. Standing outside the door was An’Da. Nova took in the Crimson uniform, causing neurons to misfire in her brain. If she’d stayed with An’Da when ARI raided Gu’Kano Colony, Cay would have never been in harm’s way. Her early warning detection system was wrong and it was all her fault he was in danger.
An’Da looked up from her tab with a faraway look in her eyes. “How are you feeling?”
“Better now that we’re here. I didn’t know you were a mole in Crimson.”
“They accepted Shar’ana and me into the Crimson Reserve at the same time.” An’Da laughed. “It was quite the surprise because neither of us knew the other was trying.”
“I can imagine.” An awkward silence fell between them. “How is he?”
An’Da pulled off her mask and ran her hand through the red curls. “Doing fine, he seems healthy enough. Did a scan and nothing came back serious, but he needs time to relax and deal with everything that happened to him.”
“Can I see him?”
“It’s not a good idea. He’s been through a lot and we don’t want to stress him out more than he already is.”
“I won’t bother him, just want to make sure he is okay.”
“I’m telling you he’s fine. That’s all you should need to hear.”
Nova’s hackles rose at An’Da’s tone. “And I’m telling you, I refuse to leave this spot unless I see him.” While Nova knew the intricacies of hand-to-hand combat, she was delusional if she thought she could take on someone who passed the entrance exams for Crimson, even if she was just in the reserves.
An’Da leaned her head against the wall and closed her eyes for a moment. Nova tapped her foot and An’Da gave Nova an intense look. “What is it with you? Why are you so focused on him?”
“For the same reason you are, he is monumental to the cause. They can replace every single one of us, but not him.”
“Right, so you walk in here and make demands even though you just met him. You have no responsibility to him.” She leaned closer to Nova, baring her teeth in a smile. “If you knew what was good for you, you’d leave here and never think of him again.”
Nova stomped her foot. “I will once I see him.”
An’Da growled and glared at her but Nova returned the glare, refusing to give in. She’d be damned if she backed down now. An’Da pounded her fist against the door, then walked through it, slamming the door in Nova’s face. Nova hesitated as she waited for a sign of what was happening. Maybe if she stood here long enough, they would let her in. Just one last look at Cay, that was all she needed to say goodbye and leave him forever.
14 Gu'Rati Resistance Colony: Cay
Shouting erupted outside the room. Cay strained but couldn’t make out voices or words. His wrists ached from pulling at the restraints, but they didn’t give. He’d spent what felt like hours trying to understand what was going on. Were they both traitors? His mind melted trying to sort everything out.
None of this mattered anyway, he was infertile. The only thing he was good for, and he couldn’t even do that right. Why had he been born at all? He took up resources and gave nothing in return. Voices outside faded as he drew into himself. Men shouldn’t exist anymore. Maybe this was his punishment for daring to be born. He drew a ragged breath as he spiraled deeper into despair.
A booming noise snapped him back, and he hoped everything was okay out there. Once he got free, he would find Nova. Even if he had to restrain her, he would get answers. Then he would figure out his life.
The door opened, and An’Da walked in. Her cheeks were flushed, and her fists clenched. “I don’t know how you put up with her. She is the most stubborn woman I have ever met.”
“Who?”
“What?” An’Da looked around and gave herself a shake. “Nova wants to talk to you.” An’Da moved behind him, pressure releasing from his wrists. “I will take you to a residence quarter and let the two of you talk. Don’t think about trying to leave.”
Angry at the earlier events, he didn’t respond as he followed her out of the room. A small grin appeared on Nova’s face the moment he saw her. He couldn’t get it out of his mind the entire time they walked. She wanted him, and as long as she stayed with him, they would make it work. She’d said nothing about his fertility, never asked him if it was possible, and she didn’t demand anything from him.
“Here we are.” An’Da pressed a button and led them inside. “See the panel over here. If you need anything, just press this button, it’ll notify me immediately.” Without another glance, An’Da stormed out of the room.
An awkward air settled in the room as he didn’t know what to say.
“Are you okay?”
He was thankful that Nova broke the silence first. “Yeah, I’ll heal. How about you?”
“I’m fine.”
Another awkward silence deafened the room for what felt like an eternity. Cay settled onto the couch and silently begged for her to join him. When she reached for the panel to call An’Da, panic possessed him. He leapt off the couch and scooped her into his arms. This was what he wanted, what he needed. She completed him. At first, she relaxed into him, then stiffened and pushed back. His soul cried out, but he let go of her.
“Cay… I can’t do this.” Her voice cracked. “This whole thing is a bad idea.”
“What are you talking about?”
Nova gestured around the room. “We’re at Gu’Rati Colony. Just like Gu’Kano, it’s underground and almost impenetrable. You’ll be safe here.”
Dropping to his knees, he grasped her hands. “Please don’t do this.”
Her eyes welled, then she turned away from him. “I have to.”
His heart fractured as she spoke. This was it, she was leaving him. Those three words ruined all the time in the safe house together. She hadn’t been kidding when she said he couldn’t trust anyone, especially her.
“You don’t understand, we’re both committed to the Resistance. I belong out there, keeping people safe, not hiding inside some underground colony. You belong here with everything you need.” Her voice choked up on the last few words.
Before he found the words to tell her about the test results, she kissed him on the forehead and walked out of his life.
15 Gu'Rati Resistance Colony: Nova
The exit wasn’t close enough, she needed more distance between her and Cay. She pushed against her chest, the pain there stole her breath. If she could find the exit,
then the hurt would go away. Leaving him here was best for both of them. Inside this colony, located outside the outer-city if she remembered correctly, was the safest place on the planet for him.
The hurt in his eyes pushed the floor out from underneath her. Her vision blurred as she lost control, and pain exploded in her hands and knees. She’d almost ruined him, almost ruined the entire Resistance movement. Even if she disappeared, it would help the cause more than if she stayed.
Footsteps echoed down the hallway, and Nova jumped to her feet then scurried down the hall, wiping her cheeks. She would leave the colony and find another way to help.
Lyn’Da’s handheld!
She’d forgotten all about it. An entire plan formed in her mind. Leave Gu’Rati, retrieve the handheld, go to a safe house, and see if she could retrieve any intel from it. If she was alone, then no one else would be at risk but her. With no one else at risk, she could use the information to take down the Sovereign herself.
She pulled out her own handheld, pulling up the directory of the colony. There! She headed towards the garages, and a few minutes later, she rode a standard issue Resistance hover bike into the city while cloaked. A few uneventful security checks later, she had the device and returned to the unclaimed land outside the outer-city. Glad that only certain members of the Resistance had access to safe house locations, she headed to one near to Gu’Rati.
Thankful the housing pod was in optimal condition, she took the hover bike inside with her.
The pod was almost identical to the last one, but a second look revealed upgraded tech. Since it was so far from the city, it was much easier to set up high-tech safe houses. Nova pulled out Lyn’Da’s handheld and got to work on it. Removing the casing, she hooked it up to her own. She pulled up the feature that would hack the device for her, but the downside was it could take a long time.
A shower would be exquisite, but what if she missed the results? Sure, they would stay on the screen, but she wanted answers now. Anxious, she stood and paced the small room. This week had been one disaster after another. Violet Five was still in ruins, Cay almost died - twice, Lyn’Da was a spy, and she’d murdered the only person she thought was family. Her heart was heavy with all the destruction.
Cay was gone, never to return to her life. Goosebumps formed over her arms. Glancing over to the bed, her stomach twisted. What she wouldn’t give to have him one last time. Why did she think one last kiss would suffice for the rest of her life?
A quiet chime brought her back. Diving for the small electronic, she scrutinized the results. At first it appeared to be gibberish. It was a large globe with an atmosphere. The majority of the atmosphere was composed of marlenium, octurium, and darmenium. While one was familiar, the other two weren’t. A search of the Resistance database revealed answers. Octurium was a highly reflective material that could reflect light, heat, and even small amounts of radiation. Marlenium had similar properties to octurium, but worked a little differently. Darmenium was a strong semi-solid binding agent. It listed several other compounds, but she didn’t want to search them all.
Scrolling to the next page, she saw a diagram. There were several circles inside of each other with the largest labeled as atmosphere, followed by an oxygen/nitrogen mix, and a third circle as crust. Nova stopped; this appeared to be a diagram of their planet, but that was strange. The Sovereign openly admitted there was no way to analyze what was in the sky. There was nothing out there, just blue as far as the eye could see. Maybe it was a theory just like the one the Resistance had?
She moved to the next file and read. An entity listed as Vad’Wok communicated the same day every month. Continuing to read, she struggled with a flood of unfamiliar terms. Who was Vad’Wok? She dismissed it as another top-level operative for the Sovereign. If there was something important among all this information, she couldn’t make sense of it. Lots of the files appeared to be incomplete, or maybe that was a security measure. Frustration built up in her until she wanted to explode.
She threw the handheld on the small table and stomped towards the small cubicle shower. Jerking her clothes off, she stepped into the shower. Maybe if she took a shower and slept, it would make more sense tomorrow. If not, then she was at a loss, and she was out of chances to prove herself.
16 Gu'Rati Resistance Colony: Cay
Cay paced in his room as his skin itched all over. No matter where he went or what he did, something was off. All the conversations were stilted. Women fled on sight the moment he entered a room, and if he did manage to sneak up on someone, they rushed to get away from him. Only An’Da stayed in his presence, but then he was the one trying to escape. Even though she’d explained she needed to scan and test him, she couldn’t give a good answer to why she’d kept him restrained. Betrayal overwhelmed him every time he so much as thought about her.
Sadness barreled into him when he looked at the doorway where Nova abandoned him. His entire existence became stagnant within a few days. Glancing at the couch covered in books, he sighed at what his life had become. Several times since he’d arrived here, he wished Nova had never walked into his life. He was living his life almost the same way as before, but now he knew so much more. The constant state of war outside the colony, the never-ending threat from ARI raids; at least if things went back to before, he might be content enough.
He threw himself down on the bed and slammed his head into a hardcover book. Reaching behind his head, he grabbed the book and looked at it, Quirky Quinns Guide to Hover Bike Basics. What an odd title, and with nothing else to do, he had plenty of time to read.
Avoiding leaving his room as much as possible, he used the replicator to produce physical books he could read. In the last day or two, he’d read books about how technology worked at the colony, self-defense, and any other subject he could find. He’d asked An’Da for a handheld so he could read through digital files, but she’d refused. That was one thing he’d discovered after Nova left him. He was free to walk around inside the colony, but he was anything but free.
He thought back to what Nova said before she left.
You belong here.
But he didn’t belong here. If he was infertile, then he didn’t belong anywhere. Unless they lied to get Nova to leave. If Nova was so vital to the Resistance, they wouldn’t want her burdened by pregnancy. They would want him to be with women who didn’t hold vital positions.
Yes! That was it! Because he wanted her so much, their bodies would complement each other, finally finding the combination needed for a child. His cock grew hard at the thought of making love to her again.
It made perfect sense to him now. He needed Nova and belonged where he could do the most good. An’Da was trying to keep them apart because she wanted to be the first to get pregnant naturally. Even at Gu’Kano, An’Da had pursued him more than the other women. Now all he had to do was figure out how to find Nova. He knelt by the bed and reached an arm into the linens. One woman was in such a hurry to avoid him she’d forgotten her handheld. Before someone else walked in, he swiped it and hid it until he returned to his room. He wanted no one to know he’d stolen it.
“This is the key.”
He searched through indexes until he found the right files. Studying them for a few minutes, he found the secret menu in the replicator for tech designs. Two buttons later, a small cloaking device appeared on the small shelf. He attached it to his pants and activated it. Listening for noises in the hall outside his quarters, he opened the door and peered out. The corridor was empty.
Stepping on the balls of his feet, he sped down the hallway while following the map. Rounding a corner, he almost collided with a short redhead. He jerked back and flattened himself against the wall. This was it, they’d caught him and would lock him up like before. Except Nova wouldn’t rescue him this time.
“Hey!”
Cay held his breath and waited for the sound of alarms or running footsteps. Nothing.
“Shel’Ba! You have to see this, hurry!”
A single set of hurried footsteps echoed toward him.
“What?”
“Look at this.”
Now he was on display. Usually the women ignored him, but when he wanted to be covert, they wanted to show their friends?
“What is that?”
A man, that’s what he was. Why did so many women struggle to say the word ‘man’ or the pronoun ‘he’?
“Looks like someone dropped this.”
“What is it?” His lungs burned. The women had to leave soon, or they would hear him gasp for air.
“No idea, but I’ll turn it in. They’ll probably come looking for it.”
Cay continued to be part of the wall, watching the two women walk by without acknowledging him. After they turned around the next corner, he exhaled, taking a moment to catch up on the oxygen deprivation. The cloaking device, he’d forgotten all about it. Shaking his head, he raced down the hallway.
He made it to the stairwell and paused. This door represented his last chance to turn around. After this point, anyone who found him would figure out his objective. Taking a deep breath, it was now or never. He raced down the stairs as quickly as he could without making noise. Pounding in his ears drowned out the mind-numbing silence.
Surely there should be patrols or something?
Stopping at the door for the garage, he prepared to run. Pressing the button, the door slid open and Cay sprinted to the hover bikes. Taking only a second to orientate himself to the vehicle, he engaged the cloak on the bike. A quick glance showed the garage was empty. No one was pursuing him.
He checked the handheld and went over the controls for the hover bike from the manuals he’d read earlier. Practicing for a few seconds, he built the nerve to start it. His chest fluttered as he edged the hover bike towards the door leading outside. Could it be this easy to escape? Why wasn’t An’Da screaming at him to come back? As he inched toward the door, it lifted, revealing a shimmering view of the outdoors.