by Marta Perry
As for Daad—Thomas had been back nearly a week, and his father was still treating him as politely as if he were a stranger. A visitor he didn’t know well. Maybe his mother had been wrong when she’d said Daad was ready for him. And maybe it was time he talked to her about it.
Fortunately, when he reached the house, he found his mother alone—in the kitchen, as always. “Thomas, gut. There’s fresh coffee, and plenty of shoofly pie.” She set the shoofly pie on the table as she spoke and turned to the coffeepot.
Thomas opened his mouth to say he didn’t need anything, but then he closed it again. If he was going to talk to his mother about Daad, it might be easier done across the table.
“Only if you’ll sit and have some, too.”
Looking pleased that he wanted her, Mamm provided herself with coffee and took the chair across from him. She pushed the shoofly pie nearer to him. “Eat, eat. You could stand to put on some weight.”
He took an obedient bite, knowing that feeding people was Mamm’s way of showing love. “No, I couldn’t.” He patted his flat stomach. “I’m just fine the way I am. I wouldn’t want to be hauling any more weight up any ladders.”
Her eyes lit. “Did you find some work, then?”
“No, not yet. But I put up all the posters.” He tried not to show his disappointment. “It’ll come, I’m sure.” He’d best be sure, or he’d end up skulking back to Ohio with his tail between his legs.
“I’m sure, too,” she said, loyally. “Someone will see your posters and get in touch.”
“I hope so.” But this wasn’t getting him where he wanted to be. “Mamm, I need to talk to you. About Daad.”
Her eyes darkened with concern, but she tried for a light tone. “What about your daad? He’s fine.”
“Fine, yah. But you said he was ready for me to come back. But it doesn’t seem like it to me.”
“Ach, Thomas, what are you talking about? I’m sure your daad . . .”
Her voice trailed off, and she lowered her eyes, looking at her hands clasped on the table.
He reached across to put his hand over hers. “You know what I mean. He’s too polite. It’s like I’m a stranger.”
She clasped his hand in both of hers, and he felt a pang as he saw the blue veins standing out on their backs. Mammi took a deep breath.
“He did say all right when I talked to him about you coming back. I think he meant it, but once you were really here . . .”
“He had second thoughts, didn’t he? Remembering how people talked before, and I suppose they’re talking again now. So Daad’s thinking about how much worse it would be if I messed up now.”
Mammi didn’t say anything for a moment, as if she realized it wouldn’t do any good to keep insisting that everything would be fine. Keeping his hand in hers, she spoke softly. “Maybe you’re right, Thomas. But I think it’s just that he needs time to adjust to having you back as a grown man. You will give him time, won’t you, Thomas? For me?”
His mother’s eyes were glazed with tears, and he knew perfectly well he couldn’t refuse her. He patted her hand. “It’s all right, Mammi. I’ll give it some more time.”
But if nothing changed . . . well, he might not have any other choice but to leave.
* * *
—
Dorcas hadn’t forgotten the incident with Mr. Haggerty the next morning, and she went out on the porch early so that she could watch the children get past his house. When she spotted her scholars coming, she stepped down off the porch, ready to go to the rescue if they were interrupted.
But nothing happened. Obviously remembering her talk with them, they walked cautiously along the narrow berm in single file, not breaking into their usual chattering groups until they were coming down the drive.
Good. The tension that had gripped her relaxed. She’d best remind them every day for a bit, but surely the man would forget about it by the time he was settled. Most likely he was feeling a bit embarrassed already. The idea was comforting, and she encouraged herself to believe it.
To her further pleasure, or so she told herself, Thomas didn’t drive his sister to school. Esther came trotting down the road, probably eager to catch up with her friends for a chat before the bell rang.
Dorcas didn’t need to stand out here any longer. She went back inside the schoolroom to be sure that everything was set up for the morning’s activities.
She couldn’t hope to avoid Thomas for long, she told herself. For sure she’d see him at worship on Sunday, if not sooner. But each day that passed increased her confidence, allowing her to convince herself that she felt nothing at all about Thomas.
The school day started smoothly, but she was aware of a certain amount of restlessness in the room. It was familiar enough, since it happened every spring like clockwork. The nice days followed one another, and children longed to be outside, even if it meant work for them. They anticipated the end of the school year and talked about little else. As she told Anna, from here on out, their main job was to keep the scholars focused as much as possible, and it wouldn’t be easy.
When the schoolroom clock approached three, she collected their attention. “It will soon be time to start working on our program for the end of school.”
A stir passed through the room, as the scholars exchanged smiles and murmured their excitement. “Anna and I will begin planning the program this week, and once it’s ready, there will be parts for some of you to learn. We’ll be making posters and thinking of ways to show your parents what you’ve learned this year. If we’re to put on a program for your families, it’s important to concentrate and work hard on it. Ain’t so?”
“Yah, Teacher Dorcas,” they chorused.
A glance at the clock told her she’d timed it perfectly. “Those of you who walk along the road, be mindful of our neighbor’s property. Dismissed.”
With a babble of conversation, the classroom erupted as some rushed for the door while others gathered in small chattering groups, making their way out more slowly.
Dorcas followed the last few—the older girls, who were plying her with questions about the end-of-school program. Since she hadn’t thought much about that, she wasn’t prepared to answer.
“Enough, enough,” she said finally, laughing a little. “We’ll be working on planning this week. If you have ideas, write them down and give them to me tomorrow.”
That diverted them, as she’d hoped. She saw the girls out and stepped onto the porch to tell them good-bye and greet any parents who were there.
It wasn’t unusual to see a buggy or two pulled up in front of the school. What stopped her in her tracks was the sight of Thomas Fisher standing there talking to Abel Miller, the chairman of her school board.
Abel could have come to pick up Joseph, although he didn’t usually. And Thomas could have come to pick up Esther. It might be perfectly innocent. But there was nothing for her to like about having her school board president deep in conversation with the man who knew her most closely guarded secret.
The thoughts flew through her mind in a fleeting second, and then she walked toward them, pasting a smile on her face that she hoped looked more genuine than it felt.
Abel caught sight of her. “Here’s Teacher Dorcas.” He nodded to her. “I was just catching up with Thomas. It’s been a long time, ain’t so?”
She managed to nod while he clapped Thomas on the back as if they were old friends.
“Are you picking up Joseph? I thought he came out already.”
“Yah, I saw him. The boys are playing catch until I’m ready. I thought we should have a look at the stable and that old shed—just see how big a job it would be to fix it up.”
He headed around the school building, seeming to assume Dorcas was coming, too. She hurried after him. Did he mean he wanted to start on the repairs? That would be one worry taken care of.
Thomas fell into step with her, and her frown didn’t seem to discourage him. She could hardly tell him outright to go away, much as she’d like to.
Abel headed into the stable first, glancing at Dorcas. “Not driving your horse today?” he asked her.
“I usually bring the buggy just when the weather is bad. Plenty of times in the winter, but not much now unless it’s pouring rain.” She glanced around, wondering what his assessing gaze was telling him.
Dorcas felt an urge to rush into speech, but she kept a respectful silence, knowing that Abel was one to take his time making up his mind. One thing, though—once he decided, he’d follow it through. And he certain sure cared about the scholars, so he’d be fair.
“So where’s the leak you spotted?”
Dorcas stared at him, at a loss for an answer. Then she realized he wasn’t asking her. He was asking Thomas.
“Right up here.” Thomas brushed past her. Once again, he climbed the stall bars, looking up at the roof.
Dorcas had a suddenly vivid image of his jumping down within inches of her, his face alight with laughter, and her unfortunate response.
She clamped her jaw tightly and forced the picture away.
Thomas was standing on top now, balancing easily and pointing up at the section of roof above one stall. “Right up there. It’s not bad, but I can see where the moisture has soaked in. And there’s a small gap where the sunlight is coming through if you look closely enough.”
What was going on? Had Thomas gone to the school board about the problem he’d seen? What business was it of his?
As if he’d read the question on her face, Abel filled her in. “You’ll be glad to know that Thomas has made a fine offer to the school board. If we can supply the materials, he’ll do all the needed repairs on the barn and the shed.”
She felt quite sure she was gaping. “That . . . that’s very generous of him.” She had to say what the school board would expect from her. But if Thomas did this job of work, just what good had it done her to resolve to stay away from him? He’d be underfoot, disturbing her, every single day, most likely.
“Not as generous as all that.” Thomas looked down at her from his high perch. “I’m trying to get a business started. Doing the work on the school building gives me a chance to show everyone what I can do.”
Before she could think of a response, he swung himself down and dropped lightly to the floor. “Anyway, I want to help Teacher Dorcas. Doesn’t everyone?” Mischief lit his eyes, and she knew he was laughing at her. He knew how uncomfortable he made her, and he was laughing about it.
She bit her tongue to keep from saying something sharp. Abel wouldn’t understand, and the last thing she wanted was to make anyone think about her past relationship with Thomas.
“Do you think the whole roof will have to be replaced?” Abel asked, frowning up at it.
“I’d say not. Looks to me as if it’s a fairly small section where some shingles came loose. But I’d go over the whole thing and make sure it’s all sound. There’s no point in doing a job halfway if anything else is bad.”
He and Abel were talking over and around Dorcas as if she weren’t there. Was she going to have any choice in the matter? Was she to be stuck with Thomas every day?
“What do you think, Teacher Dorcas?” Abel asked. “With the stable and shed repaired, that takes away the big complaint of those who think we can’t afford to keep the school open.”
So Abel knew about that, obviously. And he was asking her opinion. This was her chance. She could say she didn’t think it was a good idea.
But she couldn’t. Abel wouldn’t understand. However much she might want to reject Thomas’s offer, she couldn’t, not without raising even more questions that she didn’t want to answer.
And Thomas knew it. She could read it in his eyes.
Gritting her teeth, she tried to find a smile. “It’s a fine idea. Denke, Thomas.”
Abel accepted her words at face value. But Thomas . . . Thomas was watching her in a knowing way, the teasing mischief in his eyes, a quirk at the corner of his lips. He knew exactly what she really wanted to say. Like it or not, she was stuck with him.
CHAPTER FOUR
Dorcas’s mind continued to spin around and around the problem as she walked home, trying to see what else she could have done. But there wasn’t any way to prevent Thomas from taking on the job.
Her thoughts came suddenly to a dead stop. What was she thinking? Thomas had made it clear that this job was important to him in establishing his new business. Was she really so self-centered that she’d ignored his needs in favor of her own?
She stopped, staring down at the path as if she could see something written there. Thomas had sacrificed himself to get her away safely that night so many years ago. She had rushed off home, thankful to escape the police, who seemed to be everywhere.
What’s more, she’d been frightened enough that she’d changed her ways. No more taking risks and sneaking into Englisch parties. No more lying about where she’d been.
Thanks to Thomas, she’d gotten off scot-free. And when she heard the next day that Thomas had been arrested, and learned the following day that he’d been sent away to his uncle in Ohio, had she even considered telling the truth?
She walked on, trying to remember the girl she’d been. If she had thought of confessing the truth, she certain sure hadn’t considered it seriously. She had thanked the Lord on her knees for keeping her safe, but she hadn’t thanked Thomas.
Could she . . . did she dare to thank him now? Everything inside her cringed at the idea of talking about that time with Thomas. If he had forgotten about it, wasn’t it better to let it alone?
That was the same way she’d reacted at the idea of telling the truth back then, she’d realized—rationalizing it to do nothing. But she wasn’t a frightened girl now. She was an adult, and it was time she acted like one.
By the time Dorcas had reached the house, she knew she had no choice but to speak to Thomas about it. What she didn’t know was how she was going to do it. Or when.
Walking into the kitchen meant immediately being swept up in putting supper on the table. Once again, Betsy wasn’t there.
“I was hoping little Will might be awake when I got home.” She set a heavy pottery bowl of chicken potpie on the table. “I haven’t had a chance to hold him in days.”
“It’s a shame you have to miss so much, being out all day.” Mamm wiped her hands on a dishcloth, her face lighting up as it always did when she thought of her grandson. “Ach, I think he’s gained weight in just the last day. Such chubby cheeks as he’s getting.”
Dorcas couldn’t help smiling in return. “Well, I’ll have to make up for it on the weekend. If Betsy will let me. Sometimes I think she’s trying to keep me away from him. Is she afraid I’ll drop him?”
“That’s the way it is with the first little one,” Mamm said wisely. “I think every first-time mother gets fussy that way. I know I did with Lemuel, but then Levi followed so quickly that I couldn’t do it again.”
Dorcas tried to imagine her mother being overprotective of the almost-six-foot Lemuel. She couldn’t.
“And here I thought it was because of my wild reputation,” she said lightly.
“Nonsense,” Mamm said firmly. “You never had any such thing.”
A weight dropped on her without warning. Just as she’d never thanked Thomas, she’d never apologized to her mother.
“I hope not,” she said, knowing it was what Mamm wanted to hear. “But I know I was . . . well, difficult when I was a teenager. And with Daadi so sick, too.”
And now they were looking at each other with tears in their eyes, and she wished she’d left the whole subject alone.
“Ach, Dorcas, don’t think that. It was a hard time for all of us.”
“I didn’t make it any easier,” she murm
ured, blinking away the tears that clouded her vision. “I’m sorry, Mammi.”
Her mother’s arms closed around her. “And I’m sorry, too. You’ve always been a gut girl. I’m afraid I didn’t pay enough attention to you, and that’s a time when a girl needs her mother.”
“No, no. It wasn’t your fault.” She hadn’t wanted to make her mother feel guilty. That was the last thing she’d want to do.
Mammi drew back, wiping her eyes and trying to smile. “We’re being foolish, ain’t so? Crying about something long past. I’m ashamed of myself.”
The thunder of boots on the porch announced that Lemuel and Levi were coming in for supper. That put an end to any confidences, and they hurried to finish getting the food on.
Betsy came in a few minutes later, announcing that Will was asleep. “He looks so sweet all limp like a rag doll with his cheeks as pink as can be.” She smiled at her own imagining.
“He’s the sweetest baby I’ve ever seen,” Mamm said.
“Maybe I can creep in and see him after supper,” Dorcas suggested.
Betsy exchanged looks with Levi. “Maybe,” she murmured, making Dorcas wonder what message had been given between them.
Changing the subject seemed a good idea. “Lemuel, you’ll be glad to know one problem at the school is solved.”
“Yah?” He paused to swallow a mouthful of potpie. “How’s that?”
“Abel Miller stopped by after school to take look at what had to be done to the stable and shed. It turns out Thomas Fisher would like to do the repairs, so no one else will have to take time away from planting. That’s gut, ain’t so?”
“That’s generous of him,” Mamm said, quick to praise as she always was.
“If it’s okay with Abel, it’s okay with me,” Lemuel said. “Hope he’s not too busy with his business to get it finished soon, before that roof causes any more damage.”
She hoped so, too. “That’s one reason he offered to do it. He feels it will help with his business if folks see his work.”