by Marta Perry
She had been so keyed up, and now she had to pretend even longer. For a moment she felt a ridiculous resentment against all of them, and then she had to laugh at herself. How could they know what had happened unless she told them?
She’d have to wait until she could talk to Mammi. But as the moments went by, she found that just by sitting in her familiar place at the table, listening to the hum of talk among people who loved her, she had found what she needed. She was soothed, comforted, and at home.
Slowly, she started to think again about what might happen. So much depended upon what other people said and did. Lydia seemed to have been vanquished, but Minister Lucas and even Thomas himself had the power to make her happy or miserable. She couldn’t affect it now. There was nothing for it but to wait. And hope.
Enough chatter went on during supper to cover her slight distraction. She could smile, and nod, and try to look her usual self. Betsy did give her a questioning look, but this wasn’t the time or the place to reassure her.
Finally the boys had gone back to the barn. Betsy quickly scooped up the baby. “I’ll take Will upstairs. You two have a nice talk.”
Betsy might have been a little obvious, but she’d seen what Dorcas needed and given it to her.
“Now.” Mammi reached out to clasp her hand. “Now you can tell me what’s happening. Is it about Thomas?”
“How . . . how did you know?” Her throat was tightening already at the thought of talking about it.
“Ach, my sweet girl, haven’t I seen you falling in love ever since Thomas came back?” She patted the hand she held. “Tell me about it. Does he not feel the same?”
She wondered why she ever thought she could hide something like this from Mammi. “I love him. And I believe he loves me.” She paused. Was she sure of it? She had to be. He wouldn’t be so torn if he didn’t love her. “But if he feels he has to leave here, he won’t declare his love. He wouldn’t ask me to leave.”
Mammi shook her head. “I don’t understand. Why would he have to go away again? I thought he’d come back to stay. Miriam certain sure thinks so.”
The thought of Thomas’s mother was a separate small pain. “I know. But his daad . . . Thomas thinks his daad has never really forgiven him. That he doesn’t trust him. And now Lydia Gaus has been spreading stories about us and making everything worse. I don’t think Minister Lucas believed her, but Thomas—”
Mammi’s fingers tightened at the mention of Lydia. “That woman hasn’t been happy since they came here. But I don’t see why she needs to make others miserable. If Thomas won’t speak, then you will have to. You’ll have to tell him that you will go with him wherever he goes.”
There was not a quiver in Mammi’s voice when she said the words.
Dorcas blinked, trying to focus on Mammi’s face. “But I thought . . . I thought you wouldn’t want me to go.”
“Ach, I don’t, if there’s another choice.” Mammi shook her head. “It would be hard for us. But it would be the right thing to do. Where love leads, you must follow. Your grossmammi left all that she knew in Lancaster County to come here, and her great-grandmother left Germany to come halfway across the world. We can’t be less brave than they were. If this is what happens, we will bear it.”
Tears sprang into Dorcas’s eyes, and she held her mother’s hand against her cheek. “Denke, Mammi,” she whispered.
Before she could say anything else, Betsy hurried into the room, heading toward the back door. “It’s Thomas,” she whispered. “I’ll let him in. You take him to the front porch, and we’ll make sure Levi and Lemuel don’t bother you.”
Dorcas seemed to be shaking inside, and she took a deep breath. Mammi squeezed her hand. “You will know the right thing to do. Talk to him.”
The next moment Betsy came in bringing Thomas. Before he could even greet anyone, Betsy was ushering the two of them out to the front porch.
Dorcas pressed her palm against her chest, where she felt her heart pounding. In a moment she’d know.
Betsy almost pushed them onto the porch and closed the door behind them. Dorcas felt herself blushing. “Betsy is trying to be helpful.”
Thomas didn’t answer, sending her anxiety up a notch. She led the way to the porch swing and sat down, gesturing to the place beside her and wondering if he’d want to stay farther away.
But he sat there, the swing moving with the pressure of his body. This close she should be able to read his expression. Sometimes she could even read his thoughts. But not now. Now, when it was crucial, he was closed to her. A chill slid down her back.
Thomas cleared his throat as if struggling to get words out. “I thought I should come and tell you what happened.”
She controlled the urge to shake the words out of him. “Yah, of course you should. You must have known I would be waiting.” Even someone who was just a friend would have been waiting.
“I didn’t know what to expect after you went out.” He turned to look at her. “Dorcas, you shouldn’t have risked speaking. I don’t want you to be hurt because of caring for me.”
Her heart sank, and she lifted her chin. “That was about me. I’m a grown-up now, and I have to take responsibility for what I do.” And for what I feel, she added silently.
“I know. You’ve told me before.” His expression relaxed a tiny amount, and she felt better. “Daad . . . I expected a lecture. Or at least a description of all my faults. But instead . . .” He blinked, as if his eyes stung. “He asked me to forgive him. He said that he was sorry for the way he’d spoken to me about Adam.” His voice roughened with emotion. “He said that Mammi told him that if he didn’t change the way he thought about his sons, he would lose Adam just the way he’d lost me.”
Dorcas heard the tears in his voice, and her own eyes grew wet. She touched his hand lightly, and his fingers closed around hers as if they were a lifeline.
“What did you say to him?” she whispered.
“What do you think?” His voice seemed to break between laughter and tears. “I said I was sorry, and he said he was sorry, and we both cried a little and hugged a lot.” He was silent for a moment, and he seemed to look with surprise on what he’d just said. “I really believe he trusts me.”
“Well, he should. You are very trustworthy.” And what about us?
“I don’t think you have to worry about Lydia,” he went on, and she wanted to shake him. She didn’t want to hear about Lydia. She wanted to know about them. But Thomas seemed intent on clearing everything up.
“Daad said that the bishop and the ministers have been thinking that they need to call on her. To talk about gossiping.” He met her gaze, and the danger of Lydia’s interference in the school faded away to nothing.
“So you won’t lose your job, and the school won’t be closed. But I was thinking . . .”
“What were you thinking?” She could read his face again now, and joy began to well up in her, wiping out the pain as if it had never been.
“That maybe you might like to take a few years off from teaching to have a family of your own.” He reached up slowly to cup her cheek with his palm. “Dorcas, I have loved you ever since I can remember. I loved you when you were a mischievous child and when you were a wild teenager. And I love you even more as a beautiful, loving, giving woman. Please marry me. Share my life with me.”
Joy welled in her like a never-failing spring. His words were everything she’d dreamed of hearing and feared she never would. The barriers between them were gone, and the future was opening up, filled with promise.
Dorcas smiled, feeling the movement of the smile against his hand. Her eyes were wet with happy tears. “You know the answer to that question, don’t you? I think I have loved you just as long, but I didn’t know it until you went away. And if you ever want to go somewhere else, I will come with you, no matter where it is, because where you are is home.”
> His lips punctuated her words, and she forgot everything she might say in the joy and love of his embrace.
“I will love you forever,” he whispered against her ear, and then he kissed her again.
Home, she thought, snuggling against him and feeling the strength of his arms around her. Mammi was right. Where they were together, that was home.
EPILOGUE
What a difference a few short weeks made. Thomas paused by the schoolhouse steps, watching the crowd gathering around laden picnic tables in the schoolyard. He could walk up to Dorcas and talk intimately to her without prying eyes spying on them. In fact, any glances toward them would be tinged with the indulgent affection extended to courting couples who would soon be husband and wife.
His gaze sought out Dorcas, as it did whenever they’d been separated for more than a moment or two. She was at the picnic tables, helping the mothers set up the food they’d brought for the last day of school program.
As if she felt his gaze, Dorcas looked at him, smiling. A message passed between them as clearly as if they were alone together. A message of love and hope and anticipation. In a few short months, they would be man and wife.
Someone clattered down the steps behind him. He turned, reluctant to look away from Dorcas, to find his sister grinning at him.
“It’s done,” she announced, latching on to his arm. “No more school until September. And then I’ll turn fourteen and be in my last year. I’ll have one of the important parts in the program then. Can you believe it?”
“Are you sure?” he teased. “I thought Mammi said she made a mistake about how old you are, and then you could stay in school another year.”
Esther gave him a mock punch on the shoulder. “I’ll have you know that I’m getting all grown up.”
He shook his head. “It’s a scary thing, that’s certain sure. Next thing we know, you’ll be courting.”
“Not me. I don’t want to get sappy like you and Teacher Dorcas.” She grinned and dashed off before he could retaliate, nearly running into Jonas.
Jonas shook his head as she rushed on toward the tables. “She’s full of herself today.” He jerked his head toward the edge of the crowd, where the teenagers had gathered. “Did you see Adam? He’s making up to that cousin of Joseph’s.”
Thomas looked in time to see his youngest brother blushing and looking sideways at a pretty little brunette in a blue dress. “He’ll have to actually talk to her if he wants to make any headway,” he observed.
“Maybe he’ll decide girls are more fun than running off to drinking parties and getting in trouble,” Jonas said, and he nodded.
“Females do have a settling effect, don’t they?” His eyes were drawn irresistibly back to Dorcas.
Jonas nudged him. “Ach, go on back to Dorcas. You know you want to.”
Smiling at the truth of it, Thomas made his way through the crowd to her side. “Your scholars did you credit,” he said softly.
“They did, didn’t they? It was the best program yet, I think.” Dorcas looked up, smiling, into his eyes. “And just about everyone has gone to look at the repairs you made to the stable and talked about what a fine job it was. I’d think you’d get some new work as a result.”
“I already have. Two new jobs signed up just this afternoon.” A wave of relief went through him. He could make a success of this after all. “So you don’t need to worry that I won’t be able to support you.”
“I’ve never worried about that,” she said, with a look of such trust on her face that it warmed his heart.
Someone asked her a question, and Dorcas turned to answer it. Thomas stood where he was, looking over the assembled community. They’d all come today, probably in an unspoken agreement to show that this was their school and they were going to support it.
Even Lydia Gaus and her husband were there, with Lydia looking uncharacteristically subdued. She’d had little to say in recent weeks, especially after being chastened by the bishop and the ministers. Daad had tactfully stayed away from that visit, but he knew all about it. According to him, there’d be no more trouble from that quarter. Lydia admitted that she had never wanted to move from the community where she was born. She’d thought that trouble with the school might convince her husband to move back. It looked as if he’d taken a firm line, so maybe she’d settle down and accept Promise Glen. It was a good place to be, as he had reason to know.
Mr. Haggerty was talking to Dorcas’s brother Levi over a large wedge of pie, laughing at something he’d said. After his rocky beginning, Mr. Haggerty had turned out to be a wonderful gut neighbor to the school, and it seemed that he gained as much as he gave to the relationship.
Thomas felt Dorcas’s presence as if they were touching, and his hand clasped hers under the level of the table. They stood together, hands linked, and he didn’t have to look at her to know they belonged. They belonged together, and they also belonged here, with the families and the community they loved in Promise Glen.
GLOSSARY OF PENNSYLVANIA DUTCH WORDS AND PHRASES
ach. oh; used as an exclamation
agasinish. stubborn; self-willed
ain’t so? A phrase commonly used at the end of a sentence to invite agreement.
alter. old man
anymore. Used as a substitute for “nowadays.”
Ausbund. Amish hymnal. Used in the worship services, it contains traditional hymns, words only, to be sung without accompaniment. Many of the hymns date from the sixteenth century.
befuddled. mixed up
blabbermaul. talkative one
blaid. bashful
boppli. baby
bruder. brother
bu. boy
buwe. boys
daadi. daddy
Da Herr sei mit du. The Lord be with you.
denke. thanks (or danki)
Englischer. one who is not Plain
ferhoodled. upset; distracted
ferleicht. perhaps
frau. wife
fress. eat
gross. big
grossdaadi. grandfather
grossdaadi haus. An addition to the farmhouse, built for the grandparents to live in once they’ve “retired” from actively running the farm.
grossmammi. grandmother
gut. good
hatt. hard; difficult
haus. house
hinnersich. backward
ich. I
kapp. Prayer covering, worn in obedience to the biblical injunction that women should pray with their heads covered. Kapps are made of Swiss organdy and are white. (In some Amish communities, unmarried girls thirteen and older wear black kapps during worship service.)
kinder. kids (or kinner)
komm. come
komm schnell. come quick
Leit. the people; the Amish
lippy. sassy
maidal. old maid; spinster
mamm. mother
middaagesse. lunch
mind. remember
onkel. uncle
Ordnung. The agreed-upon rules by which the Amish community lives. When new practices become an issue, they are discussed at length among the leadership. The decision for or against innovation is generally made on the basis of maintaining the home and family as separate from the world. For instance, a telephone might be necessary in a shop in order to conduct business but would be banned from the home because it would intrude on family time.
Pennsylvania Dutch. The language is actually German in origin and is primarily a spoken language. Most Amish write in English, which results in many variations in spelling when the dialect is put into writing! The language probably originated in the south of Germany but is common also among the Swiss Mennonite and French Huguenot immigrants to Pennsylvania. The language was brought to America prior to the Revolution and is still in use
today. High German is used for Scripture and church documents, while English is the language of commerce.
rumspringa. Running-around time. The late teen years when Amish youth taste some aspects of the outside world before deciding to be baptized into the church.
schnickelfritz. mischievous child
ser gut. very good
tastes like more. delicious
Was ist letz? What’s the matter?
Wie bist du heit? How are you; said in greeting
wilkom. welcome
Wo bist du? Where are you?
yah. yes
RECIPES
There’s a soup for every season, and Amish cooks love collecting new recipes for hearty soups. Here are some of my favorites.
Chicken and Wild Rice Soup
½ cup butter
1 onion, finely chopped
½ cup celery, cleaned and minced
1 cup mushrooms, preferably fresh, sliced
½ cup carrots, grated
¾ cup flour
6 cups chicken broth
2 cups cooked wild rice
1½ cups boneless chicken, cooked, cut into bite-size pieces
½ teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon curry powder
½ teaspoon parsley
½ teaspoon black pepper
2 cups half-and-half, milk, or a combination of the two
Melt the butter in a large saucepan. Stir in the onion, celery, mushrooms, and carrots, and cook slowly for about 5 minutes. Add the flour and stir well. Stir in the chicken broth. Bring to a boil, reduce the heat to low, and simmer for 5 minutes. Add the rice, chicken, salt, curry powder, parsley, and black pepper. Heat through, then slowly stir in the half-and-half or milk. Simmer for 1 to 2 hours, stirring from time to time.