by Tillie Cole
Running my hand down his stubbled cheek, I asked, “Is he . . .?”
“It’s been taken care of,” Tanner said and then pressed his lips to mine. I kissed him back, savoring his taste and the feel of him.
When he broke away, I ignored the trembling of my lip and whispered, “You can never come back.” My hand shook as I ran my fingers over his shaved head. “If Diego ever finds out you killed Vincente . . .” I trailed off, not even wanting to say those words aloud, fearful that if I let them out into the universe it could somehow make them come true.
Tanner looked away. “I killed him for us. He was going to say something. I had to protect you.”
“I’m not mad.” I placed my hands on his face and turned him so I could meet his eyes. “He was going to kill you.” I swallowed back the lump blocking my throat. Words I had to say didn’t want to leave my mouth, but they had to be said. We were on a countdown now. Tanner was leaving soon . . . and he could never return. “Mi amor,” I half whispered, the endearment feeling so right as I addressed it to this man. Tanner’s eyes melted from worry to sadness. His hands tightened on my waist, holding on, like he never wanted to let go.
“We can never be,” I whispered. I was sure I felt my heart break into a million pieces. Tanner shook his head, ready to argue, but I placed my finger on his lips—lips that had once uttered derogatory words. Lips I now had come to adore . . . no, need. As much as I needed air in my lungs. “Please don’t,” I urged, feeling a tear slip from the corner of my eye. I took a deep breath, then stated, “I love you, Tanner Ayers.” I laughed at the absurdity of our situation. I was cartel. He was Klan. A fish and a bird had more of a chance of living a happy life together than we did. Tanner sucked in a sharp breath and held me closer. I smiled even though I was breaking. “I hated you. Then wanted you . . . now I both love and need you. Completely.” My smile faded and a silent sob fell from my lips. “My prince. My love . . . my life.” I studied every part of his face. Committed his scent to memory. Branded invisible tattoos of his touch on my skin.
“I love you too,” Tanner rasped. In the silence, I was sure I could I hear my soul cry. Tanner’s hand trailed up my arm and rested on the side of my neck. “Fuck, Adelita . . . I love you. I need you.”
My forehead fell to his and we simply breathed. My body and mind were exhausted with the events of the day. But my spirit was worse—it had expired, knowing I would never have this man walking beside me in life.
“I’ll leave,” Tanner announced and pushed back my face only a fraction from his. I saw the promise in his gaze. My heart jumped from dormant to a sprint in mere seconds. “I’ll leave the Klan.”
“Tanner . . .”
“It’s wrong. I know it now.” I opened my mouth to argue, but he kissed me, silencing me. “I’m done. I’m done with it all. My father. The fucking misery of living in that life.” Tanner’s eyes shone and the sight was my undoing. I stayed his unfallen tears with a kiss on each of his eyes. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to straddle his lap. “I want you, Adelita Quintana.” His voice was thick yet certain. “I want you. Nothing else matters.”
I couldn’t read the expression on Tanner’s face. I knew this side of Tanner by now. He had something to say; he just needed time to get the words out. Pressing his lips to mine, he rolled me over until he was above me. His kiss was slow and soft and unhurried. I let him take the lead. He kissed along my neck and down to my chest. My hands slipped along his shaved head, just before he sat up. Tanner held out his hand and I took it. He wordlessly guided me up. He sat back on his haunches and tore off a strip of material from his white shirt.
I didn’t know what he was doing. But when he reached for my left hand and brought it to his mouth. When he singled out my ring finger and placed the softest of kisses on my skin, my heart began to flutter. “Lita,” Tanner said and took the small strip of white cotton he was holding in his hand. He slipped it around my finger, then tied the edges until the scrap of cotton made a ring. My hands were shaking. I brought my eyes to meet his.
Tanner’s cheeks were flushed. “Adelita . . .” he rasped. “Marry me.” My eyes widened as the words I’d so wished for spilled from his lips.
“Tanner,” I whispered and stared down at the white cotton. Not gold nor a diamond, yet the most precious thing I’d ever seen. I lived a life of luxury. Yet this torn piece of cotton had made me the happiest I’d ever been in my life.
“I’ll find a way,” he promised and held my hand again, running his thumb over the makeshift ring. “I’ll find a way for us to be together.” My entire body felt light and racked with shivers that his promise inspired. He kissed my hand again. “I don’t know how I’ll do it. But I’ll find a way for us to be together. I’ll get out of the Klan. I’ll make it safe for us to live.” He breathed in deeply. “I’ll take you away where it’s just us.”
Tanner held his breath as he looked at me from under his eyelashes. He was nervous, I realized. Nervous I’d say no. It made my heart swell to see such a formidable man so anxious for my reply.
I didn’t make him wait long. I edged closer to Tanner, and whispered, “Yes.” Tanner’s hand squeezed mine in response. “Yes . . . I will marry you. Someday. Somehow. No matter how impossible, we’ll find a way to be together.”
Tanner pulled me in and crushed his mouth to mine. He lowered us down onto the bed and slipped off my nightgown. Slowly, I rid him of his clothes until we were both naked under the comforter on my bed. He never let go of my left hand as he pushed inside me. As he rocked back and forth, lovingly and slowly, kissing me on my lips, my face and my throat. I was consumed by the White Prince. I was so deeply, madly in love with him that I wasn’t sure how I could let him go when morning broke.
“Love you . . .” Tanner whispered in my ear when his pace increased and he tucked his head into my neck. His breath caused shivers to ghost down my spine as it bathed my skin in protective warmth. His fingers curled around mine as our breathing became labored and we fell over the edge of pleasure.
Tanner lay on top of me and I embraced his warmth. I ran lazy strokes on his back with my hand, staring at the cotton around my finger each time it came into sight. I didn’t know how long we lay this way, but when the first rays of the morning sun came peeking through my windows, my heart sank. Our time together was finite; Tanner would have to go back to his rooms to ensure he wasn’t discovered.
I faced Tanner on the bed. He had yet to release my hand. My hand stood in stark contrast to his. For something he once found so repulsive, I couldn’t help but think that our hands, clasped together, and full of promises, now looked nothing short of perfect. “You gotta wait for me,” Tanner whispered. His voice was graveled, betraying the emotion he was feeling—that we both were. “I need time to get out. To plan. To figure out a way for us to be together.”
“I will wait,” I promised.
Tanner breathed out. “No matter how long it takes. Don’t give up waiting. Promise me. It won’t be quick.”
“I promise.” Tanner’s shoulders relaxed. I glanced down at the makeshift ring and wanted to give Tanner something from me in return. Something for him to hold onto when all seemed lost and hope was a distant star. Reaching for the clasp, I brought my golden cross necklace between us. Taking his hand, I dropped the cross in his palm and said, “I want you to have it, mi amor. I want you to keep it. Think of me. Even when you doubt how much I love you, look at this and know that I am thinking of you too. Missing you too.”
Tanner held the necklace in his palm. And we lay that way for the time we had left. I drank in the color of his eyes, his lips, and the small smile he gave me whenever I kissed his mouth. I would keep them all in my heart until the day I saw him again. When we would be free, able to live and love . . . and be happy . . .
Chapter Eight
Tanner
I rubbed my neck as I left Styx’s office. Brothers were everywhere, the lockdown in full effect. The visiting brothers took up in RVs and
tents outside. I passed by AK, Phebe, and Saffie, heading into AK’s room. Saffie was tucked into Phebe’s side, ignoring everyone around her. Little Ash and Zane brought up the rear, carrying their bags. As I approached Tank’s door, I saw Maddie and Flame disappearing into his room down the hallway. Brother was walking now, though he looked like he was still favoring his wounded side.
“Tann?” I turned and saw Tank approaching. He had some bags with him. He glanced to the door. “You going in to see her?”
“Yeah.” I stared at the wooden door. Nerves and anger were swirling in my gut. I felt that fucking golden cross she had given me burning my neck. “Give me some time,” I said to Tank. “Gotta talk to her then I’ll take her to my room.”
“You squared that away with Styx?”
Anger shot through me. She was my fucking woman. I shouldn’t have to square shit away. “She ain’t allowed out. She’s under room arrest. But I wouldn’t be bringing her out anyway. I trust our chapter, but not sure some of the other cunts here wouldn’t be gunning her way given half a chance.”
Tank’s hand came down on my shoulder. “I’ll take Beauty for a drink. Styx and Ky have just gone for Li and Mae. She’ll no doubt wanna help them when they get here. Being that they can hardly move they’re that pregnant.” Tank knocked on the door. Beauty opened it seconds later, putting her finger on her lips. She ducked out of the room.
“She’s asleep,” Beauty said quietly. My stomach turned. I wanted to see her. I wanted to see how she looked again when she was at peace. But then that fucking wedding dress popped in my head and a surge of fury pushed those thoughts away. Beauty put her hand on my arm. “She’s all cleaned up and I’ve given her food and clean clothes.”
Leaning in, I kissed Beauty’s cheek. “Thanks. I appreciate it.”
Beauty smiled. “She’s gorgeous, Tanner. I can see why you left the Klan for her. I couldn’t stop looking at her when she was all cleaned up. She’s that stunning.”
She was. Adelita was the most perfect thing I’d ever seen. And in that wedding dress . . . in white . . . My chest tightened just thinking about it. Thinking of her and what she looked like. What I always dreamed she’d look like when she was walking down the aisle to me. Giving herself to me. Not some other cunt.
“We’ll give y’all space,” Tank said and put his arm around Beauty’s shoulder.
“Holler if you need me for anything,” Beauty added.
They walked away into the mass of activity in the club. The noise from the bar was deafening when the door was opened. My hand sat on the doorknob, when I saw Viking coming toward me. He stood beside me, leaning against the wall. I raised an eyebrow.
“I’m on guard now.” He smiled, then pointed to the room where Adelita was. “So . . . you like the Latinas, huh?” Fucker nodded like I’d just answered him with yes. “Those red-blooded bitches do something real special to my cock as well, ya feel me? Like when they shout and scream in that language, and that accent. Shit, brother. It’s like a personal mating call to my dick. Bastardos!” he imitated in the shittest Mexican accent I’d ever heard. He pointed to his crotch. “See?” I wasn’t fucking looking at his cock in his jeans. “Like a damn mating call.”
Exhaling a slow, measured breath, I turned the knob and opened the door. Viking grabbed my arm before I could enter. “Feel free to be loud, brother.” He winked. “I’m not shy.”
“No shit,” I countered, then slipped into the room. It was dark but for a lamp in the corner. Adelita was on the bed. She was dressed in a black dress like some of the other Hangmen bitches wore—Beauty must have got it from her store. It did something to me, seeing her in it. Ever since I’d joined the Hangmen, I’d imagined her in something like this. I’d imagined her wearing my cut.
Walking to where she lay, I glanced down at her and my chest tightened. She was as beautiful as I remembered. Her hair was damp, but still as long and as dark as the day I met her. And even with no makeup, her signature red lipstick missing, she looked just as stunning as she ever was. More so, in fact.
Taking a seat on the armchair in the corner, I watched her. I never moved my eyes from her face. I thought about it all. The first time I met her until the morning I left with my makeshift ring on her finger and her cross in my palm. That and a whole fucking load of nerves about whether I could get away from my father and the Klan. Whether I could find a place where we could be together without her father and my Klan brotherhood putting targets on our heads.
She looked older than the last time I’d seen her. But I hadn’t seen her in so long that she almost felt like a dream to me. Someone I manufactured in my brain. Yet here she was, asleep before me. And I was free. I was out of the Klan and she was in my club. Away from her old man and that fucker Diego who I hated pretty much more than anyone I’d ever met.
It was all a mess. Everything stood to go to shit. But she was here with me, and for the first time in years, I felt like I could breathe. The noose that had been tight around my neck for two years slackened some.
I ran my hand down my face, my head throbbing as I tried to think about where the fuck to go from here. I slumped in the chair and waited for her to wake. The noise from the bar was drowned out by the sound of her soft breaths. It helped me calm down. She’d always had that effect on me.
Calm.
Centered.
And even knowing she was marrying someone else, everything inside me told me she was still mine.
And it was about time she was reminded of that fact.
*****
I woke up to the sound of rustling from the bed. My eyes fixed on Adelita as her head rolled on the pillow and her eyes started to open. My hands balled into fists on the armchair. I didn’t know how the fuck this was going to go. I didn’t know if I could keep my calm.
When her dark eyes opened and fixed straight on mine, I knew I couldn’t. I kept my mouth shut. It was the best option. Adelita was slow to pull herself from her sleep. Christ knew if she’d slept at all these past few days. I watched her, waiting for any sign of where this reunion would go. I had my answer when she shot upright, her dark hair flicking over her shoulder and her face filled with fury.
“You told them,” she hissed, and swung her bare feet off the side of the bed. She pointed at my face. “You told them about the tunnels. You told them about the secret passages in my father’s hacienda!” Her accent was thicker than it had been years ago. But I knew why. Her anger caused her perfect English to slip.
“You broke your promise,” I accused, coldly, roughly. My blood started to heat in my veins, boiling me up from the inside. “I fucking did everything I said I would.” I got to my feet and started pacing before I lost my shit and put my fist through the wall. “I fucking left the Klan. I worked hard to make it in with the Hangmen, proved myself to this club so we could be safe—so you could be safe when I got you out.” I laughed, but there was fuck-all humor behind it. “And I come to find you’re getting fucking married. Married! After everything we promised each other.” I ripped the collar of my tank down and bared her necklace. “I kept this with me always. Kept it with me to remind me you loved me. That’s what you said, right? That all I had to do was look at it and know you loved me, even though you weren’t here with me?” My eyes caught sight of the ruined wedding dress that now hung on the closet door. I stopped dead and stared at the fucking thing. Turning to Adelita, I asked, “Who was it?” Adelita blinked, then her face flushed. She was hesitating to tell me. There was only one person who would make her reluctant to say.
The blood that had been heating in my veins surged to fucking piping-hot lava, when I growled, “Tell me it wasn’t him.” Adelita’s eyes dropped for a split second. My body shook with fury. “Tell me!” I demanded, my voice rising too loud. “Tell me it wasn’t that cunt Diego!”
“YES!” Adelita yelled back. I couldn’t fucking take being in this room one more second with her. Turning on my heel, I made for the door, but Adelita stepped in front of me before I cou
ld get there. Her hands planted on my chest and she shoved me back. She weighed almost nothing. I stepped back as she came for me again.
“Hijo de puta!” she hissed. I had no idea what the hell she just said, but I knew it wasn’t good. It only served to piss me off even more. Her hand came up out of nowhere and sliced me across the face.
I was fucking done.
When she came for me again, I grabbed her wrists and shoved her back until she slammed against the back of the door. She tried to fight me, but I lifted her hands above her head and got right in her furious face. “Stop, bitch!”
“You stop!” she snapped. She fought against my hold but she couldn’t move. She screamed in annoyance and I smiled. “I hate you,” she spat. She thrashed in my arms, but I held her tightly. “You have no idea what it was like with you gone!” Her voice cracked and she fought hard to breathe. “I hadn’t heard from you. I didn’t know if you still wanted me, needed me. My father and Diego decided for me that I would marry. I had no choice!” she shouted. “I was trapped, with nowhere to go and no one to go to for help!”
“I was coming back for you! I just needed fucking time! I was almost ready!”
Adelita’s chest rose and fell with how fast she was breathing. Her tanned cheeks were red with anger and her eyes were wide and furious. She leaned forward and snarled, “You told these men—my father’s enemies, my enemies—how to find me. You led the wolves straight to my door. How is that protecting me, Tanner Ayers? How is that helping me?”
“We were told it was some fucking random cousin who was getting married. They came for her. I never for a second believed it would’ve been you!”
Adelita shook her head while I tried to regain some kind of sanity, before I smashed my hand through the door. “My father trusted you. I trusted you, and you join the men at war with my people?” Freezing, I laughed. I fucking laughed. Adelita’s lips grew tight. “Do not laugh at me!”