‘But I don’t know anything about farming, I’m not sure I’d be any use.’ Anthony was prevaricating now.
‘You’re good with animals, at least you are with the dogs. And you’re strong. And quite sensible.’ She grinned at him as she said that, which made his heart do a little flip. ‘More sensible than you used to be. You’d just need to do whatever he told you. You can drive a car so you’d manage the tractor no problem.’
‘You drive the tractor?’ said Anthony, impressed.
‘Yes. I told you, I have to help where I can. When Mum was alive we had a bigger place and they both farmed it together … Dad hasn’t always been so solitary, you know.’
The sat in silence for a moment. Gemma sipped her drink, her expression sad now because she had mentioned her mother.
‘What happened to your mother?’ asked Anthony tentatively. No one seemed to know and Gemma never spoke about it.
‘She died of septicaemia.’
‘Of …?’ Anthony wracked his brains to recall what this was. ‘Like an infection?’
‘Yes. A bad one. Blood poisoning, Dad calls it.’
‘How did she get that?’
Gemma lowered her head so that the long hair fell across her face. ‘It was a dog bite. Stupid, isn’t it?’ She was trying to keep her tone light but she didn’t look up. ‘There were some stray dogs near where we used to live. They hung around the farm sometimes, looking for scraps. I thought they were sweet and I tried to stroke one but … well, it went for me and cornered me in the yard. I hardly got bitten but Mum came out to see what the noise was. When she tried to help me, it went for her.’ She rubbed her hand across her face. Anthony was sure she was close to tears.
‘You don’t need to tell me if you don’t want.’
She continued as though he hadn’t spoken. ‘She wasn’t really that badly bitten, either. The dogs ran off and she got us both into the kitchen and cleaned up our wounds. Little scratches, she called them, said she’d had far worse before. She wouldn’t go and see a doctor, even when her hand started swelling up. Eventually she was getting these awful fevers and Dad took her to hospital, but it was too late. They gave her all sorts of antibiotics and I don’t know what but she died anyway. Stupid, isn’t it? From a little dog bite.’
‘So that’s why your father doesn’t like dogs,’ said Anthony. For the first time the fury on the man’s face whenever he met him whilst walking the kennel occupants made sense.
‘It wasn’t the dog’s fault, it was my fault. But Dad won’t see that.’
‘It wasn’t anyone’s fault,’ said Anthony. ‘Sounds like it was just incredibly bad luck. And if your mum hadn’t been so tough and not gone to the doctor …’
‘That was just the way she was. She was brilliant, very brave.’ Gemma gave him a watery smile and delved in her bag for a tissue. ‘So you can understand why Dad is so protective of me.’
Anthony nodded. He could certainly understand that. The whole bizarre series of events would have made her father very wary indeed.
‘But I think that’s all the more reason why he wouldn’t want me around,’ he said. He wasn’t trying to get out of it now, just being honest. ‘No wonder he hates anything to do with the kennels. And seeing me would just remind him of it.’
‘Don’t you see? I’ve been thinking about it. The best thing for him to do is face up to the fact that his hatred of dogs is absurd. If he can realise that, then maybe he can get back to living some kind of normal life.’
‘And then you could too,’ said Anthony.
‘I’m not thinking about me.’
‘I know you’re not, but it’s true.’
‘So will you help?’ She nudged his hand where it lay on the table and he immediately took the opportunity to hold on to hers.
‘I don’t really see how …’
‘I’ve got this brilliant idea. He’s been invited to your father’s sixtieth birthday party. Your mum’s been very good at inviting him to things, although he never goes. Of course, he doesn’t want to go to this either, but if I say I’ll come home from uni for the weekend, specially, I think I might be able to persuade him. Then I’ll be able to introduce him to you, properly, and he’ll see what a brilliant place your kennels are and … Well, we can take it from there.’
‘It’s an idea,’ said Anthony doubtfully. And as he didn’t have anything better to suggest, they agreed on this as their plan.
Chapter Fourteen
Philip was on his way to his sister’s. It was ten weeks since he had made that last trip down here and so much had happened in the meantime he didn’t feel like the same person. For a start, he was looking forward to seeing Alison and telling her all that he and Amelia had been doing. And then he also wanted to ask her advice. He had thought there was no one he could talk to about his confused feelings for Rachel Collington, and then he realised there was Alison.
They had been getting on so much better during the frequent phone conversations, he felt he really knew his sister for the first time. She no longer seemed an intrusive older sister, just someone who cared about him and who he cared about.
‘Do you think Daddy will be home too?’ asked Amelia from the back seat, for at least the third time.
‘No, I’m sure he won’t. Remember that was one of the reasons your mum had to stay so long in Dubai, because she wasn’t well enough to travel unaccompanied and your dad couldn’t get any more time off to bring her home.’
‘Oh yes.’
‘But it’ll be great to see your mum, won’t it? And I’m sure your dad will be home as soon as he can.’ Philip couldn’t understand how Colin could bear to be away from his daughter for such long periods of time. He was going to miss her terribly when he returned to Courockglen without her.
‘I wish we could have brought Bill and Ben to meet Mum,’ said Amelia, returning to another of her pet subjects.
‘They might have been a bit too boisterous for your Mum just now,’ said Philip judiciously. ‘All the more reason for you to persuade her to bring you to visit me soon. She can meet them then.’
‘They would have liked to come with us,’ said Amelia sadly.
It was true that Bill and Ben had jumped into the car with alacrity when they had seen the bags being loaded, but they had been equally happy to be dropped off at Collington Kennels. Philip hadn’t timed the visit specifically to avoid seeing Rachel, but he had been relieved that he managed to do so.
‘They don’t like long car journeys,’ was all he said. ‘Now, why don’t you use my mobile to phone your mum and tell her we’ll be with her in about half an hour?’
Alison looked surprisingly well. Amelia flew out of the car and into her mother’s arms, which gave Philip a moment to take in his sister’s appearance. She looked tanned and relaxed. She might even have put on a little weight, which wouldn’t be a bad thing. Her hair and clothes were as neat as ever, but she wore less make-up and her smile was brighter.
‘You’re looking great,’ he said, giving her an affectionate hug.
He carried their bags inside, Amelia chattering nineteen to the dozen. She had clearly enjoyed her time with her uncle but she was just as clearly delighted to be home. She ran up to her room to check on her toys and Alison put on the kettle.
‘Tea or coffee?’ she said. ‘Or something stronger?’
‘A bit early in the day for that,’ said Philip, amazed at this departure from the norm.
‘What does it matter? We’re celebrating. One of the neighbours popped in with a half bottle of champagne, wasn’t that good of her? I’ve been dying to have someone to share it with, let’s open it.’
‘Well, if you put it like that …’ said Philip. He had the feeling he was going to enjoy this visit. Alison was so grateful to him for looking after Amelia – as she should be – but it was more than that, she really seemed like a different person.
He opened the bottle and Alison found lemonade for Amelia and they all said cheers to a happy and healthy future.
A little later, when Amelia had settled in a corner surrounded by her dolls, Philip said softly to his sister, ‘You were ill for quite a while, weren’t you?’
Alison nodded slowly. ‘Yes. For years. I hadn’t realised, it came on so gradually, but I was getting weaker and weaker and moodier and moodier. Apparently a lot of that was hormones and now they’ve put it right I feel like a new woman.’ She smiled, a clear and happy smile and he realised it was years since he had seen her smile like that. ‘I must have been awful to be around. I’m so much happier now.’
‘I’m so glad.’
‘So am I. So is Colin. And we’ve taken a big decision.’ She lowered her voice. ‘I don’t want to tell Melie until we know for sure it is going to work out, but Colin is hoping to give up his job in Dubai at the end of the year and come home. Any job he gets here won’t pay so well, but we’ve decided it’s more important for all the family to be together. Nice as it is out there, it’s not where we want to bring Amelia up.’
‘That’s brilliant news,’ said Philip. ‘Amelia missed you, obviously, when she was with me. But she missed Colin too. She’ll be so pleased.’
They spent a very pleasant evening preparing a light meal and chatting, catching up on so many things that Philip hadn’t thought he was interested in but now found he was. Colin’s life out in the Middle East, Alison’s early memories of their parents that he hadn’t shared, her certainty that they had been proud of the little success he had achieved before their deaths. He was amazed how much she knew about his career, how avidly she had followed it.
Alison took a long time over putting Amelia to bed. Philip wasn’t surprised. The two had been everything to each other for a long time, and this separation hadn’t been easy for either of them. It warmed him to see how happy they were to be together again. He sat and sipped his coffee and mused over the intricacies of family relationships.
‘I bet you’ll be glad to get home and have a bit of peace,’ said Alison when she came back down to join him. They were sitting in the living room. It was decorated, like the kitchen, in very pale tones, but someone had sent Alison flowers, and they made a happy splash of red against the creams and whites. Philip wished he had thought to send or bring flowers.
‘It’ll seem very quiet without Amelia,’ he said. ‘To be honest, I’m going to miss her, and the dogs certainly will too.’
‘It’s clear she’s going to miss them.’
‘All the more reason to bring her up for a visit.’
‘I’d like that. Maybe I’ll get to meet this Rachel that Amelia has spoken so much about.’
‘Ah. Yes.’ Philip remembered he had wanted to discuss Rachel with his sister, but now the opportunity had presented itself, he didn’t know what to say. ‘Her family own the boarding kennels where Bill and Ben are staying. Very nice family.’
‘Is she pretty?’ asked Alison, head on one side.
‘Yes, she’s pretty. But that’s not the main thing you notice about her. She’s so – bright and bubbly, so involved in life.’
‘And you like that?’
Philip realised it must seem strange, that someone as reserved as he was should be drawn to such a girl. ‘I like her. I think. But we’re very different. I don’t really understand her. She has this fierce loyalty to her parents and her brother. I don’t know if she has room for anyone else in her life.’
‘Then you’ll have to find out,’ said Alison lightly. She rose to switch on some of the side lamps. The nights were starting to draw in. ‘If you are interested enough to make the effort.’
Philip felt something shiver inside him. He was afraid. Afraid of what it might mean, if he put himself out to get closer to Rachel. What if she rejected him? He would be opening himself up to being hurt.
‘She’s probably not interested in me.’
‘From the things Melie has said, it sounds like she might be. And you know, you’re quite an attractive man, or so all my friends tell me. Why wouldn’t she be interested?’
Philip smiled at the backhanded compliment. ‘She doesn’t seem to want money or status or any of those things.’
‘Good. So if she likes you it’ll be for yourself. I think you should get back up there and find out.’
‘Maybe I will,’ said Philip. He was pleased to have the encouragement, but still unwilling to commit himself. ‘But first, I have to go down to London to see my agent. I’ll need to leave first thing in the morning if I’m not going to be late, so I think I’ll head off to bed now.’
‘Good idea,’ said Alison with a delicate yawn. She didn’t try to push him further about Rachel. Amazingly, she seemed to trust him to make the right decision for himself.
John Collington came through to the kitchen after taking a phone call in the little room they called the office. He sat down heavily at the table.
‘That’s another cancellation. Acquaintances of Pixie’s owners, from what I can gather. Said they’d heard the kennels weren’t back up to full strength after the recent floods and they didn’t want to inconvenience us by bringing their two dogs here.’
‘Didn’t you tell they everything is perfectly all right?’ demanded Rachel indignantly.
‘Of course. But they didn’t want to hear that. If people give us sufficient notice and want to cancel, we can’t stop them, can we?’
‘That means we’re only half full for the next fortnight,’ said his wife sadly. ‘We haven’t been this quiet over a summer and autumn since the first year we opened.’
When her father went back outside after his tea break Rachel followed him. It broke her heart to see him so depressed by this news. Things had been going relatively well. The slight flood damage to the kennels had long since been sorted and he had been enjoying himself enlarging the runs and tidying the garden, saying when they weren’t so busy was the ideal time to do this. Now this one cancellation seemed to have taken the wind right out of his sails.
‘It’s such a shame, I can’t understand it,’ she said, leaning against the wall. Her father began to dig lethargically.
‘These things happen. Perhaps we were in the wrong and should have explained more about what had happened to Pixie’s owners.’
‘If you remember, you were going to, but they were in a great hurry when they picked her up and there wasn’t the chance.’ Rachel frowned. ‘I’m going to find out what is going on here. Who is starting this whispering campaign about the kennels? I’m convinced it hasn’t just happened by accident.’
Her father didn’t seem interested. ‘We should have made more effort to speak to all the dog owners. Still, it’s a lesson for the future. If we are to have a future here. I’m starting to think maybe now would be a good time to sell up and retire properly.’
‘Dad! You can’t do that.’
‘This business was supposed to be something we were doing for fun. Now, with your mother’s health not so good, and all the other little problems, maybe we have to be realistic. We always planned to move into a smaller house in Boroughbie at some stage. Maybe that time has come a little sooner than we expected.’
Rachel was horrified. ‘But you love it here! And think of all the people who rely on you to look after their dogs. For all your problems, you’ve built up quite a regular clientele. And Mum likes the space and quiet.’
‘But she’d also like to be in walking distance of the shops. She’s finding it more and more difficult to drive and it would be nice for her not to have to rely on me. Or you.’
‘I don’t mind. I love being here.’
‘You’ve been a great help, Rachel, but this was our plan, not yours. You need to think what you want to do for yourself.’ He left the trowel standing in the damp soil and turned to look directly at her for the first time. He smiled sadly, the laughter lines no longer seeming a sign of cheer. ‘It’s not only Anthony who doesn’t seem to know what to do with his life.’
‘But …’ said Rachel. She couldn’t understand how this conversation had turned round and now seemed to be about
her. ‘I’m loving being here.’
‘And as I said, we love having you. But this could only ever be a temporary arrangement. Your mother and I enjoy having both our children at home just now but we’ve always known that you’ll grow up and move on to live your own lives one day. We’re quite happy with that. We’ve got each other.’
Rachel met his eyes and felt guilty. She had thought she was the one being helpful here, doing the right thing, which just happened to suit what she wanted to do. Now she wondered for the first time if her parents resented her coming home. She felt her heart sink and a great hollow feeling envelope her.
‘I’m in the way, aren’t I?’
‘No, my dear, you will never be in the way. We love having you here. But, in the long run, we want to see you settled doing something you want to do, not helping us do something we want to do.’
There was a familiar ring to these words. Rachel seemed to remember saying something very similar to Anthony. Why had she not realised that they applied to her, too?
‘I never took a gap year,’ she said at last. ‘Surely I’m allowed to have one year out, to see how it feels?’
‘Rachel, you’re allowed to have as long “out” as you want. You work too hard, taking a proper break would do you good. But in the long run, only you can know what it really is you want to do with your life.’
When Rachel left her father she took two of the dogs and headed up into the hills. Her feelings were too confused to return to the house and her mother. This was the most serious conversation she could remember ever having with her father. She was shaken, not just be what he had said, but that he had made the effort to say it. He seemed to think she needed advice, just as much as she thought everyone else did.
The higher she climbed through the crisp autumn grass the clearer one thing became. Before she could think about her future, she needed to find out what was causing her parents’ problems. It was the sight of the new earth works that made her decide this. She examined them closely, keeping the dogs firmly on their leads but nevertheless expecting farmer Freddy Smith to appear over the brow of a hill, shouting at her. The digger had disappeared, but, from what she could see, new trenches had been dug to drain water from the upper slopes. And they all drained into the Inshie Burn. Strange how that coincided with the first time the burn had flooded. She thought it was about time she tackled Freddy Smith on this issue, and maybe one or two others as well.
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