by Linda Ford
She pedaled the bicycle away from the square, not sure where she would go, only knowing she wanted to be away from Belgrave Square. If only she could flee somewhere far, far away. The bicycle ride was the next best thing. She ended up going through Hyde Park all the way to Kensington Gardens. By the time she returned to the house, it was late afternoon, and she felt somewhat better. After she’d put the bike away, she entered the quiet house and took the back stairs up. As she came onto the landing, she heard a male voice. Thinking it might be Mr. Gallagher, she stopped short, unwilling to upset him further with her presence.
But it wasn’t Mr. Gallagher. She recognized the voice as that of Lady Haversham’s solicitor. Mattie’s heart thumped in fear. Had she made good on her threat so soon? She could hardly believe Lady Haversham would cut her only nephew out of her will. Oh, why hadn’t Maddie given her the letter earlier? Would it do any good now? It must.
She’d ask the maid to deliver it to Lady Haversham as soon as possible. Maybe it wasn’t too late to help Mr. Gallagher.
* * *
Reid arrived at his aunt’s early the next morning. He wanted the time alone in the library to collect his thoughts before having to face his assistant.
Collect his thoughts...or catch a glimpse of Miss Norton? He’d thought his confession the day before—things he’d spoken of to no one in a decade—would somehow eradicate his feelings for Miss Norton. Surely, she would want nothing to do with him now. Why then did he still long to see her?
He parked his bicycle alongside Miss Norton’s, remembering the miserable night he’d spent. How had he made such a mess of things so quickly? If only he hadn’t kissed her like that—
He went immediately to the library. But once there, he found it hard to settle down to work. He stood every few moments and walked around, stopping at a window and glancing out, or picking up an artifact, realizing after a few seconds he wasn’t studying it at all, but picturing Maddie’s face.
Finally, he stepped out of the library. All was quiet. Where could Miss Norton be? Would she already have left to walk Lilah? Was she even up yet? Breakfasting? He decided to check the breakfast room. No one was there but a maid, picking up dishes from the sideboard. He stepped back at the sight of her, but she’d already turned around.
“Good morning, sir. I was just clearing things. Would you like some breakfast? I can bring you a fresh plate of ham and eggs.”
“No, thank you.”
“A pot of tea, then? Or coffee?”
“No, thank you. I’ll ring for something later from the library.”
“Very good, sir.” She curtsied then left the room with a tray.
After hesitating a few more seconds, he exited the room, as well. Where else could he look? He walked toward the main staircase with no clear plan in mind. Just as he looked up, debating whether to go up or not, Miss Norton appeared around the curve of the staircase.
She stopped short. For a second, he thought she’d retreat. But she said, “Mr. Gallagher.”
“Good morning, Miss Norton.” How he wanted to bound up the stairs and grab her up in his arms.
“Do you need anything?” Her quiet voice was all business. They might never have been sitting together in the parlor a day ago, he breaking down.
He cleared his throat. “No.”
“Lady Haversham is still abed, I believe. I—I haven’t seen her myself.” This was the first sign she gave of nervousness.
He realized he couldn’t be honest with her. The only reason he was standing at the bottom of the stairs was to catch a sight of her. Now, all he could do was feast his eyes, knowing that’s all he would do.
They both turned at the sound of running feet on the stairs above Miss Norton.
“Oh, miss,” Lady Haversham’s personal maid came to a panting halt. “Oh, miss, please, come quickly. It’s her ladyship. I don’t know what’s wrong with her. She can’t move!”
Reid didn’t wait to hear more. He took the stairs two at a time, Miss Norton already ahead of him. Together they entered his aunt’s room.
His aunt was lying on her bed, her nightcap still on. Reid bent over her. “What’s wrong, Aunt Millicent?”
She gasped, struggling to get each word out. “I... I don’t...know. Can’t seem...to move...”
Reid noticed then how stiffly she lay. Miss Norton had reached her other side and laid a hand on her forehead. “I’ll have Dr. Aldwin fetched. I’m sure he’ll put you to rights.”
Reid took hold of his aunt’s hand but it lay inert in his. He tried not to think the dire word apoplexy.
* * *
By the time the doctor left he had confirmed the dreaded suspicion. Indeed, Lady Haversham had suffered a stroke. Maddie didn’t leave her bedside, but tried all she could to make her comfortable.
A few hours later, Mrs. Walker arrived. After a whispered consultation with Mr. Gallagher in the corridor, she hurried to her aunt’s bedside.
“Dearest Auntie,” she said, taking the woman’s hand in both of hers. “I came as soon as I heard. You poor dear.”
Lady Haversham tried to utter something but only unintelligible sounds came out. Her condition had worsened over the last few hours. What little mobility she had had earlier in the morning was gone, and she was completely paralyzed.
Maddie rose and excused herself though no one took notice of her. When she entered the hallway, she was surprised to see Mr. Gallagher still there.
“I was hoping I’d see you,” he began at once. “I wanted to let you know I’m going by the doctor’s now to inquire about hiring some nursing help.”
“Oh.” She hadn’t considered that, thinking she’d assume that duty. Then she remembered she was no longer employed by Lady Haversham. But perhaps no one else was aware of the fact? It didn’t matter. She knew she couldn’t leave her employer until...well, not in this state. “Very well, Mr. Gallagher,” she finally replied.
“Good then. If you don’t mind looking after her until we can get some full-time help, I would greatly appreciate it.”
“Of course I wouldn’t mind. Anything I can do—”
He brought his hand up to her shoulder and squeezed it before quickly dropping it away. “Thank you. I knew I could count on you.” His blue eyes looked keenly into hers for a few seconds, and she wished she could reach out to offer him comfort, but he turned and entered his aunt’s bedroom before she could say anything more.
In the days that followed, Maddie could hardly think of anything but Lady Haversham. Watching the poor woman struggle to speak, Maddie’s heart went out to her. The only sounds which came out of her mouth were gurgles, and Maddie tried to soothe her, seeing that the woman’s efforts only aggravated and exhausted her.
If only there was a way to communicate. She tried getting Lady Haversham to clasp her hand, but it lay inert. Finally Maddie thought of something. “My lady, can you blink your eyes?”
After a second, Lady Haversham’s eyelids moved slowly but surely.
Maddie pressed her hand. “That’s excellent. If you blink once, let that be for ‘yes,’ and if you blink twice, let that mean ‘no.’ Do you think you can manage that?” She watched the woman’s eyes intently.
Lady Haversham blinked once.
“Wonderful. Now, let me try to figure out what you’d like. Are you thirsty?”
One blink. “Would you like a sip of water?”
Another blink. “Very good.” Maddie placed a bolster behind her head and with difficulty managed to prop her up enough for her to take a few sips from a glass. “There, that’s better, isn’t it?”
She noticed Lady Haversham’s agitation when she began to sputter something.
“What is it? Did I hurt you?”
Two blinks. “Do you want to lie back?” Two blinks. Maddie pursed her lips, trying to think what else she might want. “Are you too warm?” Two bl
inks. “Are you cold?” Two blinks.
Maddie straightened the covers and sat back down on the chair beside the bed. “Would you like me to read you some Scriptures?”
The pale blue eyes stared right at her, as if imploring her. One blink.
“Very good. Let me get my Bible.” It was beside her on the nightstand. “Would you like to hear something from the Psalms?”
One blink. Maddie leafed through them until coming to the twenty-third one. “‘The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want...’”
When she’d finished, she asked, “Would you like me to read some more?” One blink.
Maddie found another. “‘God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble...’” Then she flipped further. She began reading Psalm 112. She got to the tenth verse, “‘The wicked shall see it, and be grieved; he shall gnash with his teeth, and melt away: the desire of the wicked shall perish.’”
Lady Haversham began to whimper again. “What is it, my lady? Shall I stop reading?” Two blinks. More whimpering. Maddie pressed her lips together. Perhaps that last verse had been too harsh. She flipped over to a more soothing psalm. “‘Oh give thanks unto the Lord; for he is good: because his mercy endureth forever...’”
But Lady Haversham’s agitation continued. “Lady Haversham, I don’t understand. I know you want to say something, but I’m afraid I remain in ignorance. You must be patient with me. Would you like me to send for your maid?”
Two blinks. “For Mrs. Walker?” Two blinks. She swallowed. “For Mr. Gallagher?” Two blinks. “Do you wish to tell me something?” One blink. “All right. Is it about the Scriptures?”
One blink. “Did you like that last psalm?” Lady Haversham didn’t react. “Was it the one before that? Let’s see...” Maddie turned the pages back. “Psalm 112. ‘Praise ye the Lord. Blessed is the man that feareth the Lord.’” A hesitation then one blink.
“Would you like me to read it again?” One blink. “Very well, I shall read it again.” When she reached the tenth verse, once again, Lady Haversham made noises in her throat. Maddie reread the verse slowly. “‘The wicked shall see it, and be grieved...the desire of the wicked shall perish.’” She looked up to Lady Haversham. “Is that the verse that particularly interested you?” One blink. Maddie reread the verse to herself, puzzling over it. She looked back at Lady Haversham who was eyeing her, as if waiting for her to draw some conclusion.
“Is there someone who has harmed you, Lady Haversham?” Then it dawned on her. “Do you think it is I who wished you harm?”
Two rapid blinks. Maddie breathed a sigh of relief. “I’m glad, my lady. Did you receive the note I wrote you?” One blink. “I wrote the truth. I truly didn’t mean to come between you and your nephew in any way. In fact, I would be gone from here by now, if you hadn’t...hadn’t fallen ill.”
Lady Haversham began to moan. “What is it, my lady? Are you in pain?” One blink. Then two.
“Shall I move you a bit?” Maddie half rose from her chair but Lady Haversham began to whimper again. Maddie sat back down and reread the verse slowly. When she next looked up, she saw in alarm that the old lady’s eyes had watered and two tears were running down her wrinkled cheeks.
“Oh, dear, you mustn’t be upset.” She got a handkerchief and dabbed at the tears. “Why don’t I let you rest a little? I’ll read to you some more later.”
Lady Haversham closed her eyes and Maddie rose with some relief.
The following days were similar. Both Lady Haversham’s niece and Mr. Gallagher spent some time sitting with her, but the bulk of the time was shared between the nurses Mr. Gallagher had hired and Maddie. Each time Maddie attended Lady Haversham, the woman wanted her to read from the Scriptures. Each time Maddie read something dealing with wickedness, sin or forgiveness, Lady Haversham became overwrought. Maddie began to understand that Lady Haversham had something weighing on her heart.
Maddie reassured her by reading texts from the gospels about the forgiveness offered through Jesus Christ. But Lady Haversham’s obvious frustration only increased, and Maddie could see it wore her down.
Mr. Gallagher came into the sickroom every day. The first time, Maddie immediately stood, ready to leave at once, but he motioned her to remain where she was. He took a seat on the opposite side of Lady Haversham’s bed.
He held one of the old lady’s hands in his and smiled at her. “Good morning, Aunt Millie, how are you doing today?” He then proceeded to tell her about the work in the library.
He didn’t stay long. When Maddie left the room, Mr. Gallagher was waiting for her. “Miss Norton—”
She stopped in the corridor, her heart pounding anew each time she was near him. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t forget the feel of his lips against hers. Her glance strayed to his mustache, remembering the feel of it. Quickly, she looked back at his eyes, and found them searching hers.
“I just wanted to thank you again for being so patient with Aunt Millicent.”
“You don’t have to thank me, Mr. Gallagher.”
“She seems to want you near her.”
“Perhaps it’s because we’ve developed a simple method of communicating.” She explained the way of having Lady Haversham respond by blinking.
“That’s ingenious. I must put it into practice and explain it to Vera.” He sighed. “It must be so frustrating for her not being able to speak or move.”
She nodded. “I believe something weighs on her heart.” She hesitated, but seeing Mr. Gallagher waiting, she continued. “Perhaps if you summoned her minister, he might be able to pray with her, perhaps offer her the solace she needs.”
“Of course. I should have thought of it myself.” He shook his head. “It’s times like these that we realize how unimportant everything else we’ve put our energies to is, and there’s only one thing of lasting value.” He looked at her gravely. “You seem to have known that all along.”
“Please don’t credit me with anything out of the ordinary.” She gave a slight smile. “I was raised by a curate, remember.”
He nodded, and she sensed the short interview was over. “I shall contact Reverend Steele straightaway.”
“Yes, thank you.” With a quick bow of her head, she entered the room, glad they’d managed to achieve something of their former friendship, yet sensing still an invisible and insurmountable barrier.
When Reverend Steele had visited Lady Haversham, the vicar told Maddie and Mr. Gallagher, “I agree with Miss Norton that Lady Haversham is not at peace, but I’m afraid I couldn’t get anything more specific than that.” He patted Maddie’s hand. “I suggest you continue sitting with her and the Lord will illuminate you concerning this.”
“Yes, sir.” She only hoped he was right. She’d been praying steadily for Lady Haversham, but had felt no breakthrough.
The days passed slowly. The house was even more quiet than usual. Mrs. Walker’s children were not permitted to visit. Only Lilah was allowed by the lady’s side. The little dog seemed to understand her mistress’s condition and spent most of her time curled up at the foot of Lady Haversham’s bed.
All Maddie could do was pray for Lady Haversham. She knew the prognosis was virtually hopeless, so she asked the Lord that if Lady Haversham were not to recover that He would give her peace and take her unto Himself. As she was meditating over one of the Scriptures that seemed to cause Lady Haversham agitation, it occurred to Maddie that perhaps Lady Haversham wished to ask for God’s forgiveness. Perhaps she regretted her fury toward Maddie that last evening before her stroke. Lady Haversham only seemed to exhibit her distress in Maddie’s presence.
Seated at Lady Haversham’s bedside the next day, her Bible on her lap, Maddie began, “My lady, pardon me if I’m being impertinent, but do you wish to ask God’s forgiveness for your own sins?”
Lady Haversham looked at her intently and blinked once. Maddie s
wallowed and braced herself to continue.
“Very well. Remember the Lord says in His word that if we ask forgiveness He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins. You may just pray along with me in your heart.” She bowed her head. “Dear Heavenly Father, I come before you asking for forgiveness for my sins. I ask for the cleansing blood of Jesus Christ to wash away all my iniquity. I accept His atoning work on my behalf.”
She paused and watched Lady Haversham. The elderly lady had closed her eyes and was mumbling, but they weren’t sounds of agitation but rather as if she was praying along. Satisfied that Lady Haversham had been able to pray, Maddie continued. “Now, would you like to ask someone in particular for his forgiveness?” Immediately the lady’s eyes opened and she blinked. “One of your family members?”
Two blinks. “One of the servants?” Two blinks. “One of your friends?” Two blinks. “An acquaintance?” Two blinks. Having eliminated all the more obvious, Maddie finally dared asked, “Would you like to ask my forgiveness for anything?”
Immediately the lady blinked once. Maddie’s heart began to pound, surprised that she’d been correct, and humbled to realize the Lord was working in Lady Haversham’s heart. She took one of the lady’s limp hands in her own. “Please know that there is nothing to forgive. I don’t feel you have wronged me in any way.”
Lady Haversham began to whimper and Maddie squeezed her hand. “Let me continue, my lady. I do forgive you, for whatever you wish. If there’s any way you feel you have wronged me, know that I do forgive you. I love you with the love of our Savior, Jesus Christ, and hold nothing in my heart against you. Please believe me.”
The lady’s eyes filled with tears. Maddie tried to soothe her, and when at last the lady appeared at peace, Maddie gave her a sleeping draft that the doctor had left prepared.
After that time, Maddie noticed Lady Haversham grew quieter as the days wore on. All she seemed interested in was hearing the Scriptures read.