Ida wipes her tears on the sleeve of her jumper, so hard that her cheeks redden.
‘We’ve been behaving like idiots. We were warned and we didn’t listen,’ Minoo says. ‘Rebecka was the only one who really got it. She said time after time it felt wrong that we weren’t together, and now that she’s … gone … it’s proof that she was right.’
The others look sad and ashamed. They ignored all of Rebecka’s attempts to bring them together.
‘I don’t understand,’ Ida says softly. ‘How can she be … dead?’
Minoo swallows the hard lump in her throat, the one that is making it hard for her to breathe and get out the important things she has to say. ‘We have to start working together,’ she says. ‘That’s what Rebecka would have wanted. Does anyone have a problem with that?’
Ida stares demonstratively at her boots.
‘Can we count on you, Ida?’ Minoo asks.
‘Yes,’ she snarls.
‘I’m in,’ Linnéa says.
‘Yes,’ Vanessa says.
‘Me, too,’ Anna-Karin says.
‘And I’ll do my utmost to assist you,’ Nicolaus says.
Minoo remembers what Rebecka said:
What’ll make them understand? Does someone else have to die? Wasn’t Elias’s death enough?
No, it wasn’t. But she mustn’t blame the others. That’ll get them nowhere.
‘Rebecka told me today that someone was following her,’ she says. ‘I think I saw the same person standing outside my house. Have any of you noticed anything?’
‘Something was wrong with Elias before he died,’ says Linnéa. ‘He was afraid, but he never got the chance to tell me why.’
Minoo nods. Linnéa is struggling noticeably to hold back tears, and Minoo’s impulse is to comfort her. But to yield to emotion now would break the illusion: Minoo has to pretend to be the leader of the group, at least for the moment. She must seem to be in control so the others don’t lose hope. She feels incredibly small and frightened, but it would be selfish to let it show. Their fragile sense of unity could vanish in an instant. ‘Has anyone else noticed anything?’ she asks.
The others shake their heads, one after another. Minoo swallows again. If it was only Elias, Rebecka and her … Does that mean she’s next? ‘We have to find out who’s stalking us,’ she says.
‘Or what,’ Nicolaus adds.
‘And we have to be a lot more careful. Anna-Karin …’ Minoo pauses. This is unexpectedly difficult to say. Suddenly she realises she’s a little afraid of Anna-Karin, even though she looks harmless in her duffel coat and knitted hat.
‘What?’ Anna-Karin asks irritably.
‘You know,’ Minoo says.
Ida snorts but doesn’t say anything.
‘Nobody knows what I’m doing. That’s the whole point,’ Anna-Karin says. Her jaw juts, making her look like a grumpy child.
‘Can you really be sure?’ Nicolaus says calmly. ‘It’s possible, of course, that we’re the only ones who can see behind the scenes of your performance. But if someone else at school is searching for the Chosen One, you’re putting yourself at great risk.’ All of a sudden his voice is full of authority. ‘We’ve already learned that the school is a place of evil. That was where Elias and Rebecka were killed.’
Anna-Karin’s face is bright red. ‘How do you know I’ve used my power? Is it so impossible to imagine I could become popular without it?’
Ida rolls her eyes, but still says nothing.
‘Yes,’ Vanessa says matter-of-factly. ‘Nobody becomes popular overnight. It doesn’t work like that.’
‘You have to stop it,’ Minoo says.
Anna-Karin shoots her an angry look.
‘What the hell are we going to do? Have we any leads?’ Vanessa asks.
Minoo glances at Nicolaus. They’ve discussed one theory. Now that she’s about to present it, it seems far-fetched, but it’s the only one they’ve got.
‘Before Rebecka died, she had a meeting with the principal,’ she says.
Minoo looks at Linnéa, hoping she’ll understand. She does. ‘So did Elias,’ she says.
‘Adriana Lopez became the principal of Engelsfors School about a year ago,’ Minoo continues.
‘Wait a minute,’ Ida interrupts. ‘You think the principal did it?’
‘I haven’t come up with much information,’ Minoo says, ignoring Ida, ‘but I did manage to dig up some stuff about her on the Internet. Before she came here, she was the assistant principal at a school in Stockholm. Before that, she worked as a teacher. There’s nothing strange in any of that. We have to find out more about who she really is.’
‘It makes sense,’ says Vanessa. ‘I mean, the school is a place of evil and she’s in charge of it.’
Minoo nods, relieved that they hadn’t laughed at her.
‘It’s all we’ve got to go on,’ she says. ‘But we have to keep our eyes and ears open. Vanessa, your stepfather’s a policeman. He’d probably mention if there was anything strange going on, right?’
‘Maybe,’ Vanessa says briefly.
It’s at that moment that exhaustion hits Minoo. She shuts her eyes, tries to shut out the world, tries to tap back into the inexplicable strength that has kept her going until now. But there’s nothing left.
Rebecka is dead. The realisation hits her full force and she almost buckles.
‘Minoo?’ she hears Nicolaus say.
‘I think I have to go home.’
Soon after Nicolaus and Anna-Karin have dropped Minoo near her house, it starts to rain, pummelling against the roof of the car as they drive out of the town.
Nicolaus parks at the bus stop and insists on accompanying Anna-Karin quite a way down the track leading to the farm. He’s got a big black umbrella that he holds over them as they squelch through the mud. Anna-Karin tenses, prepared to defend herself if he criticises her again. But he doesn’t say a word.
When they’re almost at the house, he stops. The rain patters on the umbrella and draws out the sweet smell of earth.
‘Anna-Karin, this can’t go on,’ he says. ‘Someone could get hurt.’
He doesn’t look stern, more concerned, like a father who’s worried about his daughter. Anna-Karin doesn’t care what the others think, but she doesn’t want to disappoint Nicolaus.
‘I’ll think about it,’ she promises.
‘Good.’
He pats her shoulder and turns away.
Anna-Karin runs through the rain and stands under the little roof that covers the steps leading to the front door.
She doesn’t want to go inside yet. She watches Nicolaus disappear into the darkness with his umbrella. She knows he’s right. That Minoo’s right. That what she’s doing is dangerous. She’s known it all along. Deep down.
In year nine an ex-junkie had talked to the class. He’d said that when he’d tried the drug for the first time it had felt like coming home. Now Anna-Karin knows what he’d meant. Her power makes her feel intoxicated, high. It fills the enormous void she’s been carrying around with her almost all her life. And now they’re expecting her to give it up.
All right, she decides. It’s not worth the risk. It’s not worth more people dying.
Anna-Karin looks out into the autumn darkness. She feels satisfied with her decision. It feels grown-up.
As soon as I’ve got Jari, she thinks, I’ll stop.
20
MINOO DOESN’T REMEMBER how she got home, just that her mother opened the door and that she almost collapsed on the steps in front of her.
When they helped her to bed she knew she wouldn’t be able to stand up again for a long time. The thought of food made her feel sick. Warm tea and lightly buttered toast are all she can face. Her mother sits on the edge of the bed and tries to get her to talk, but she’s too exhausted to respond, barely has the strength to even look at her. Eventually her mother gives up. Before she leaves, she opens the window to let in some fresh air. Minoo can’t even muster the energy to get up and
close it when she starts to feel cold, so her father does it when he comes in. He lingers for a moment at her bedside, mumbles something about how anxious he is about her, that she just has to shout if she needs anything. Minoo shuts her eyes. She wants to be left in peace. She’s too tired even to cry. All night she slips in and out of sleep, and in the morning she feels more drained than ever.
Vanessa rings to tell her they’re holding a minute’s silence at school for Rebecka. Minoo has no intention of going. A minute for a life is insulting.
The rest of the day passes in a blur. Some of the time she’s sleeping. Some of the time she’s awake. It makes little difference. Her father comes home during his lunch break to look in on her and makes her another slice of toast. She can’t manage it all, and flushes the rest down the toilet once he’s gone back to work.
When darkness falls she lets the shadows take over the room. Now she falls into a deep sleep.
They’re standing on the dance floor. The leaves on the trees are glowing an unnatural red. Rebecka is wearing a long white nightgown, identical to the one Ida had on that first night. Minoo is in her underwear, embarrassed because she feels naked.
‘You’re late,’ Rebecka says.
Something is wrong with her face. Something small is moving around under the skin, causing it to bulge and come loose from the muscle wherever it passes.
Rebecka takes a step towards her and Minoo sees the thing start to break through the skin. A little sore appears on Rebecka’s cheek and widens. Something glistening yellow-white forces its way out. It’s a maggot.
‘Help me,’ Rebecka whispers, holding out her hands. The tips of her fingers are black. ‘Help me,’ she whispers again, and comes closer.
Minoo tries to back away, but there’s resistance in the air, as if she’s wading through deep water. The maggot is hanging out of the wound and wriggles until it drops to the floor at Minoo’s feet. Then the skin of Rebecka’s face breaks open in several more places. Underneath it a glistening yellow-white mass is writhing through her dead flesh.
Rebecka puts her hands on Minoo’s bare shoulders. ‘Do you see what you’ve done?’ Rebecka says. Her cold fingers move up to Minoo’s throat and squeeze, just as her face falls off altogether.
When Minoo wakes up, her throat is sore, as if she’s been screaming. She’s drenched in sweat. Her sheets are damp, her covers soaked, and her pillow is as wet as a sponge.
But she’s gained new strength. For every hour she lies there she’s letting Rebecka down. She has to find her murderer – the monster who killed her and Elias.
Minoo gets up, showers and brushes her teeth. The thermometer indicates a few degrees below zero and she pulls on a pair of dark jeans and a black knitted cardigan over a black T-shirt. Then she has to lie down for a moment to catch her breath.
Her mother and father are at work and she texts them to let them know she’s going to school today. She stops in front of the refrigerator, but the thought of food still makes her feel sick. Better to get out while she still has the will to do so.
The sun is blinding, but offers no warmth.
When she cuts across the field, the frosted grass rustles under her boots.
She can see the school in the distance. Her gaze moves automatically to the roof. How long was Rebecka in the air? A second? Two? Did she have time to scream?
As she passes a petrol station she stops short. Black words against a yellow background. All capitals, as if the letters are shouting.
REBECKA’S BOYFRIEND TALKS ABOUT SUICIDE PACT
Minoo steps into the harsh fluorescent lighting of the petrol station and buys a copy of the national tabloid. Three full-page spreads. All the articles are by Cissi, except one, which talks about ‘similar pacts’ around the world.
Minoo’s eyes run back and forth across the pages. A passport photo of the principal, who has refused to comment. A picture of Elias. A picture of the school against a gloomy cloud-filled sky, with a dotted arrow indicating where Rebecka had fallen from. A close-up of candles, flowers and handwritten cards with hearts that students have left on the spot where she died.
There is also a picture of Rebecka’s mother, sitting at her kitchen table with her hands clasped in front of her. And taking up an entire page: Rebecka’s school photo from year nine. Minoo knows she hated that picture. She touches Rebecka’s face gently. It’s a nice photo. She should’ve liked it.
Minoo flips to the interview with Gustaf as she walks towards the school. He is also depicted in a year-nine photo. He’s smiling into the camera with a confidence you only have if people have told you all your life how great you look. He seems not to have a care in the world. In contrast with the headline is a heart-wrenching quote from him: ‘I’ll never forget her.’
But when Minoo skims the article, she becomes angry.
It describes Rebecka as one of the school’s most popular students, but it portrays her as a person who was ‘actually’ introverted and depressed. Gustaf describes how he always felt she was thinking about things she didn’t want to talk about. He comments on the rumours about her eating disorder. (‘I think it was true’) and makes himself out to be the perfect boyfriend, who tried to help her in every conceivable way. Then he washes his hands of it: ‘But you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped.’ What angers Minoo most of all is the last sentence. ‘She’s probably better off where she is now.’ As if what happened is a good thing.
Minoo crumples the newspaper and throws it into the bin outside the school gates.
‘Excuse me, may I ask you a few questions?’
Minoo looks up and meets the glinting lens of a black TV camera. A microphone is shoved under her nose. The reporter introduces herself and the channel she works for. Several other journalists are standing behind her. Their faces exude a combination of impatience and eager anticipation. They come from radio stations, local papers, national tabloids and TV news channels.
‘I understand that you were one of Rebecka’s closest friends,’ the reporter says.
Her hair is so perfect and shiny that it looks fake. Minoo has never seen hair like it in real life. The other journalists approach. Some have their pads and pens at the ready, in case Minoo says anything of value.
Minoo’s brain gets stuck. The camera inches closer.
‘You are Minoo, yes?’ the woman asks.
Minoo sees a school yearbook in her hand. She sees herself circled in thick red marker, Rebecka is ringed too.
‘It’s just awful what happened. What do you know about the suicide pact she was part of?’
‘There was no suicide pact,’ Minoo says.
The camera lens sniffs around her face. It’s a like an open maw, ready to swallow her.
‘Are you in the pact, too?’ the woman asks.
Minoo stares at her. Didn’t she hear what Minoo said?
‘How many have joined?’
Her heart is beating fast and her dizziness has come back. Minoo lowers her gaze and walks through the gates, closing her ears to the woman calling her name.
‘What disgusting behaviour,’ a man she’s never seen before says to her.
Minoo looks him over. He’s young, tall and fashionably unshaven, probably good-looking, if you like that type.
‘It’s people like her who give us journalists a bad name,’ he says.
Minoo’s gaze falls on the flowers and candles that mark the spot where Rebecka died. She continues towards the front entrance to the school. The guy with the beard follows her. He says he’s from one of the tabloids. The one that Cissi hasn’t sold her tall tales to. ‘Can you tell us about your friend so I can do her justice in the paper?’ he asks.
She wonders if these reporters will come back to ask other students whether they knew Minoo, the latest victim of the suicide pact.
‘Can’t you at least tell me what you know about the pact? You do realise it has to be stopped! Or do you want more kids to die?’
Minoo stops at the foot of the steps and
turns. The guy with the beard looks at her eagerly, as if he were a Labrador and she was holding a tennis ball. He’s almost drooling.
‘Come on, Minoo. You can talk to me. I only left school myself a few years ago. I remember what it was like.’
Minoo takes off her backpack and holds it. She feels so tempted to throw it at him. Her chemistry book is heavy. It would hurt. ‘There was and is no pact,’ she says, and heads up the steps.
Vanessa is standing just inside the door, talking on her mobile. Their eyes meet for a moment. Vanessa lowers the phone from her ear, but Minoo doesn’t stop. She marches down the corridor to her locker, passing Anna-Karin on the way. She’s perched on a table, surrounded by admirers who seem to worship her. She breaks off in mid-sentence when she catches sight of Minoo, seems to lose her train of thought, but then turns back to the others and continues talking. Julia and Felicia laugh loudly.
Minoo pulls out her maths book and notebook, stuffs them into her backpack and shuts the locker.
When she turns, Anna-Karin is standing there. ‘How are you doing?’ she asks.
Minoo shrugs her shoulders.
‘I’m going to investigate the principal’s office today,’ says Anna-Karin, in a low voice. ‘Nicolaus said she’s with the town council all afternoon. I’ll get the assistant principal to let me in.’
Minoo hesitates. Anna-Karin shouldn’t expose herself to any more risk. On the other hand, what’s the alternative?
‘I’ll do it during my free period after lunch,’ says Anna-Karin, and returns to her court.
Minoo walks along the corridor. Sweat runs down her back and inside her jeans as she goes up the stairs.
When she reaches the second floor she’s too tired to go any further. She has to sit down and catch her breath. She stares at the stone steps, at the white fossils trapped inside them for eternity. Orthoceratites. That’s what the little creatures are called, she remembers. Out of the corner of her eye she sees jeans-clad legs running past her up the steps, hears shouts and laughter and disconnected sentences – I think he likes me, he just doesn’t know how to show it … No way! No fucking way! Are you kidding? … Always says she hasn’t revised, but she got, like, twenty-eight out of thirty in the test– and when she gets up it’s as if her heart is too weak to pump the blood all the way up to her head. Her knees give way and she is amazed to find that the cliché is actually true – that they really do give way. Darkness closes in so she seems to be peering through a tapering tube. Then she falls.
The Circle (Hammer) Page 15