I tell my story as well to let the Israeli people know that there is hope. If I, the son of a terrorist organization dedicated to the extinction of Israel, can reach a point where I not only learned to love the Jewish people but risked my life for them, there is a light of hope.
My story holds a message for Christians too. We must learn from the sorrows of my people, who carry a heavy burden trying to work their way into God’s favor. We have to get beyond the religious rules we make for ourselves. Instead, we must love people—on all sides of the world—unconditionally. If we are going to represent Jesus to the world, we have to live his message of love. If we want to follow Jesus, we must also expect to be persecuted. We should be happy to be persecuted for his sake.
To Middle East experts, government decision makers, scholars, and leaders of intelligence agencies, I write with the hope that a simple story will contribute to your understanding of the problems and potential solutions in one of the most troubled regions of the world.
I offer my story knowing that many people, including those I care about most, will not understand my motives or my thinking.
Some people will accuse me of doing what I have done for the sake of money. The irony is that I had no problem getting money in my previous life but am living practically hand to mouth now. While it is true that my family struggled financially, especially during the long stretches when my father was in prison, I eventually became a fairly rich young man. With my government-provided salary, I made ten times the average income in my country. I had a good life, with two houses and a new sports car. And I could have made even more.
When I told the Israelis that I was done working for them, they offered to set me up in my own communications business that would earn me millions of dollars if I would only stay. I said no to that offer and came to the United States, where I haven’t been able to find a full-time job and ended up practically homeless. I hope that someday money won’t be a problem for me anymore, but I’ve learned that money alone will never satisfy me. If money was my main goal, I could have stayed where I was and kept working for Israel. I could have accepted the donations that people have offered me since I moved to the States. But I haven’t done either because I don’t want to make money my priority—or give the impression that it is what drives me.
Some people may think I’m doing this for the attention, but I had plenty of that back in my own country too.
What was much harder to give up was the power and authority I had as the son of a top Hamas leader. Having tasted power, I know how addictive it can be—much more addictive than money. I liked the power I had in my former life, but when you’re addicted, even to power, you are controlled more than you control.
Freedom, a deep longing for freedom, is really at the heart of my story.
I am the son of a people who have been enslaved by corrupt systems for many centuries.
I was a prisoner of the Israelis when my eyes were opened to the fact that the Palestinian people were as oppressed by their own leaders as they were by Israel.
I was a devout follower of a religion that required strict adherence to rigid regulations in order to please the god of the Qur’an and get into heaven.
I had money, power, and position in my former life, but what I really wanted was freedom. And that meant, among other things, leaving behind hate, prejudice, and a desire for revenge.
The message of Jesus—love your enemies—is what finally set me free. It no longer mattered who my friends were or who my enemies were; I was supposed to love them all. And I could have a loving relationship with a God who would help me love others.
Having that kind of relationship with God is not only the source of my freedom but also the key to my new life.
* * *
After reading this book, please do not think that I have become some kind of super follower of Jesus. I’m still struggling. The little I know and understand about my faith came from Bible studies and reading. In other words, I am a follower of Jesus Christ but am only beginning to become a disciple.
I was born and raised in a religious environment that insisted salvation was all about works. I have a lot to unlearn to make room for the truth:
You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. —EPHESIANS 4:22-24
Like many other followers of Christ, I have repented of my sins, and I know that Jesus is the Son of God who became a man, died for our sins, rose from the dead, and is seated at the right hand of the Father. I have been baptized. Yet I feel that I am barely inside the gate of the Kingdom of God. I have been told that there is much, much more. And I want it all.
In the meantime, I still struggle with the world, the flesh, and the devil. I still have misconceptions and confusion. I wrestle with what sometimes seem like invincible issues. Yet I have hope that I, like the apostle Paul who described himself to Timothy as “the worst of sinners” (1 Timothy 1:16), will become whatever God wants me to be, as long as I don’t give up.
So if you meet me in the street, please don’t ask me for advice or what I think this or that Scripture verse means, because you’re probably already way ahead of me. Instead of looking at me as a spiritual trophy, pray for me, that I will grow in my faith and that I won’t step on too many toes as I learn to dance with the Bridegroom.
* * *
As long as we continue to search for enemies anywhere but inside ourselves, there will always be a Middle East problem.
Religion is not the solution. Religion without Jesus is just self-righteousness. Freedom from oppression will not resolve things either. Delivered from the oppression of Europe, Israel became the oppressor. Delivered from persecution, Muslims became persecutors. Abused spouses and children often go on to abuse spouses and children. It is a cliché, but it’s still true: hurt people, unless they are healed, hurt people.
Manipulated by lies and driven by racism, hatred, and revenge, I was on my way to being one of those people. Then in 1999, I encountered the only true God. He is the Father whose love is beyond expression, yet shown in the sacrifice of his only Son on a cross to atone for the world’s sins. He is the God who, three days later, demonstrated his power and righteousness by raising Jesus from the dead. He is the God who not only commands me to love and forgive my enemies as he has loved and forgiven me but empowers me to do so.
Truth and forgiveness are the only solution for the Middle East. The challenge, especially between Israelis and Palestinians, is not to find the solution. The challenge is to be the first courageous enough to embrace it.
The Players
Mosab’s Family
Sheikh Yousef Dawood — His paternal grandfather
Sheikh Hassan Yousef — His father; cofounder and leader of Hamas since 1986
Sabha Abu Salem — His mother
Ibrahim Abu Salem — His uncle (mother’s brother); a cofounder of the Muslim Brotherhood in Jordan
Dawood — His uncle (father’s brother)
Yousef Dawood — His cousin, son of Dawood, who helped him purchase inoperative weapons
Mosab’s brothers — Sohayb (1980), Seif (1983), Oways (1985), Mohammad (1987), Naser (1997)
Mosab’s sisters — Sabeela (1979), Tasneem (1982), Anhar (1990)
Key Players (in order of appearance)
Hassan al-Banna — Egyptian reformer and founder of the Muslim Brotherhood
Jamal Mansour — Cofounder of Hamas in 1986; assassinated by Israel
Ibrahim Kiswani — Mosab’s friend who helped him purchase inoperative weapons
Loai — Mosab’s handler in the Shin Bet
Marwan Barghouti — Secretary-general of Fatah
Maher Odeh — Hamas leader and head of Hamas security wing in prison
Saleh Talahme — Hamas terrorist and Mosab’s friend
Ibrahim Hamed — Head
of Hamas security wing in the West Bank
Sayyed al-Sheikh Qassem — Hamas terrorist
Hasaneen Rummanah — Hamas terrorist
Khalid Meshaal — Head of Hamas in Damascus, Syria
Abdullah Barghouti — Bomb maker
The Others (in alphabetical order)
Abdel Aziz al-Rantissi — Hamas leader; leader of the deportee camp in Lebanon
Abdel-Basset Odeh — Hamas suicide bomber, Park Hotel
Abu Ali Mustafa — Secretary-general of PFLP; assassinated by Israel
Abu Saleem — Butcher; Mosab’s crazy neighbor
Adib Zeyadeh — Covert leader of Hamas
Ahmad Ghandour — Early leader of Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigades
Ahmad al-Faransi — Aide to Marwan Barghouti
Ahmed Yassin — Cofounder of Hamas in 1986; assassinated by Israel
Akel Sorour — Friend of Mosab and fellow prison inmate
Amar Salah Diab Amarna — First official Hamas suicide bomber
Amer Abu Sarhan — Stabbed three Israelis to death in 1989
Amnon — Jewish convert to Christianity and fellow prison inmate with Mosab
Anas Rasras — Maj’d leader at Megiddo Prison
Ariel Sharon — Eleventh prime minister of Israel (2001–2006)
Avi Dichter — Head of Shin Bet
Ayman Abu Taha — Cofounder of Hamas in 1986
Aziz Kayed — Covert leader of Hamas
Baruch Goldstein — American-born physician who slaughtered twenty-nine Palestinians in Hebron during Ramadan
Bilal Barghouti — Cousin of Hamas bomber Abdullah Barghouti
Bill Clinton — Forty-second president of the United States
Captain Shai — Israel Defense Forces officer
Daya Muhammad Hussein al-Tawil — French Hill suicide bomber
Ehud Barak — Tenth prime minister of Israel (1999–2001)
Ehud Olmert — Twelfth prime minister of Israel (2006–2009)
Fathi Shaqaqi — Founder of Palestinian Islamic Jihad and initiator of suicide bombings
Fouad Shoubaki — PA chief financial officer for military operations
Hassan Salameh — Friend of Yahya Ayyash, who taught him how to make bombs to kill Israelis
Imad Akel — Leader of Al-Qassam Brigades, Hamas military wing; killed by Israelis
Ismail Haniyeh — Elected Palestinian prime minister in 2006
Izz al-Din Shuheil al-Masri — Sbarro pizza parlor suicide bomber
Jamal al-Dura — Father of twelve-year-old Mohammed al-Dura, who Palestinians say was killed by IDF soldiers during a demonstration by Palestinian security forces in Gaza
Jamal al-Taweel — Hamas leader in the West Bank
Jamal Salim — Hamas leader killed in assassination of Jamal Mansour in Nablus
Jamil Hamami — Cofounder of Hamas in 1986
Jibril Rajoub — Head of security for the Palestinian Authority
Juma’a — Gravedigger in cemetery near Mosab’s childhood home
King Hussein — King of Jordan (1952–1999)
Kofi Annan — Seventh secretary-general of the United Nations (1997–2006)
Leonard Cohen — Canadian singer and songwriter who wrote “First We Take Manhattan”
Mahmud Muslih — Cofounder of Hamas in 1986
Majeda Talahme — Wife of Hamas terrorist Saleh Talahme
Mohammad — Founder of Islam
Mohammad Daraghmeh — Palestinian journalist
Mohammed al-Dura — Twelve-year-old boy allegedly killed by IDF soldiers during a Fatah demonstration in Gaza
Mohammed Arman — Member of Hamas terrorist cell
Mosab Talahme — Oldest son of terrorist Saleh Talahme
Muhammad Jamal al-Natsheh — Cofounder of Hamas in 1986 and head of its military wing in the West Bank
Muhaned Abu Halawa — Member of Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigades
Najeh Madi — Covert leader of Hamas
Nissim Toledano — Israeli border policeman killed by Hamas
Ofer Dekel — Shin Bet officer
Rehavam Ze’evi — Israeli tourism minister assassinated by PFLP gunmen
Saddam Hussein — Iraqi dictator who invaded Kuwait in 1990
Saeb Erekat — Palestinian cabinet minister
Saeed Hotari — Dolphinarium suicide bomber
Salah Hussein — Covert leader of Hamas
Sami Abu Zuhri — Hamas spokesman in Gaza
Shada — Palestinian worker killed by mistake by an Israeli tank gunner
Shimon Peres — Ninth president of Israel, who assumed office in 2007; has also served as prime minister and foreign minister
Shlomo Sakal — Israeli plastics salesman, stabbed to death in Gaza
Tsibouktsakis Germanus — Greek Orthodox monk murdered by Ismail Radaida
Yahya Ayyash — Bomb maker credited with advancing the technique of suicide bombing in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict
Yasser Arafat — Longtime chairman of the PLO, president of the PA; died in 2004
Yisrael Ziv — Israeli major general for the IDF
Yitzhak Rabin — Fifth prime minister of Israel (1974–1977; 1992–1995); assassinated by right-wing Israeli radical Yigal Amir in 1995
Zakaria Botros — Coptic priest who has led countless Muslims to Christ, via satellite television, by exposing the errors in the Qur’an and revealing the truth of Scripture
Glossary
abu — Son of
adad — Number
adhan — Muslim call to prayer, five times a day
Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigades — Terrorist group, formed during the Second Intifada out of various resistance groups, that carries out suicide bombings and other attacks against Israeli targets
Al-Aqsa Mosque — Islam’s third holiest site from which Muslims believe Mohammad ascended into heaven; located on the Temple Mount, Jews’ holiest site and believed to be the location of the ancient Jewish Temples
Al-Fatihah — The opening sura (passage) of the Qur’an, read by the imam or religious leader
Al-Jazeera — Arab satellite television news network; based in Qatar
Allah — Arabic word for God
Allenby Bridge — Bridge across the Jordan River between Jericho and Jordan; originally built by British General Edmund Allenby in 1918
baklava — Rich pastry made with layers of dough, filled with chopped nuts and sweetened with honey
Black September — Bloody confrontation between the Jordanian government and Palestinian organizations in September 1970
Caliphate — Islamic political leadership
Democratic Front for the Liberation of Palestine (DFLP) — Secular Marxist-Leninist organization opposing the Israeli occupation of the West Bank and Gaza
dinar (dee'-nahr) — Official currency of Jordan, used throughout the West Bank in addition to the Israeli shekel
emir — Arabic for chief or commander
Ezzedeen Al-Qassam Brigades (Eza-deen' al Kas-sam') — Military wing of Hamas
Fatah — Largest political faction of the Palestine Liberation Organization
fatwa — Legal opinion or decree concerning Islamic law issued by an Islamic scholar
feda’iyeen (fedai-yeen') — Freedom fighters
Force 17 — Yasser Arafat’s elite commando unit
hadith (hah'-dith) — Oral traditions of Islam
hajj — Pilgrimage to Mecca
Hamas — Islamic resistance movement in the West Bank and Gaza, listed by the United States, European Union, and others as a terrorist organization
Hezbollah — Islamic political and paramilitary organization in Lebanon
hijab — Head covering or veil worn by Muslim women in some cultures
IDF (Israel Defense Forces) — Israel’s military force, including ground forces, air force, and navy
imam — Islamic leader, usually of a mosque
intifada — Rebellion or uprising
Islamic Jihad — Islamic resistance movement in th
e West Bank and Gaza, listed by the United States, European Union, and others as a terrorist organization
jalsa — Islamic study group
jihad — Literally means “struggle” but interpreted by militant Islamic groups to call for armed struggle, even terrorism
Kalashnikov — Russian AK-47 assault rifle; invented by Mikhail Kalashnikov
Knesset — Legislative branch of the Israeli government
Ktzi’ot — Israeli tent prison in the Negev where Mosab spent time
Kurds — Ethnic people group, most of whom live in Kurdistan, which covers parts of Iraq, Iran, Syria, and Turkey
Labor Party — Socialist/Zionist left-wing political party of Israel
Likud Party — Right-wing political party of Israel
maj’d (mah-jeed') — Hamas security wing
Maskobiyeh (mahs-koh-bee'-yah) — Israeli detention center in West Jerusalem
Mecca — Islam’s holiest site, located in Saudi Arabia, where the prophet Mohammad founded his religion
Medina — Islam’s second holiest site; the burial place of Mohammad located in Saudi Arabia
Megiddo — Prison camp in northern Israel
Merkava — Combat tank, used by the Israeli Defense Forces
minaret — Tall spire of a mosque from which a Muslim religious leader calls the faithful to prayer
mi’var — At Megiddo, a processing unit where prisoners stayed before being moved into the camp population
Molotov cocktail — A petroleum bomb, usually a gasoline-filled glass bottle with a rag wick, that is ignited and thrown at a target.
mosque — Muslim place of worship and prayer
Mossad — National intelligence agency of Israel, comparable to America’s Central Intelligence Agency
mujahid (moo-jah-ha-deed') — Muslim guerilla soldier
Munkar and Nakir — Angels believed to torment the dead
occupied territories — The West Bank, Gaza, and the Golan Heights
Operation Defensive Shield — Major military operation conducted by the Israel Defense Forces during the Second Intifada
Oslo Accords — The 1993 agreements reached between Israel and the Palestine Liberation Organization
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