by S. Young
As she conjured, the act becoming more natural as the day progressed, Ari felt the heat build in her skin. At one point, she felt as if she were emitting the heat of a thousand suns, her mouth was constantly parched, her skin was too hot to the touch and she felt weak. Jai had assured her it was normal, and sure enough, by the time late afternoon rolled around, she no longer felt overheated. She waved a hand over an open flame and it didn’t burn. It was also weirdly temperate. Fire and heat affected her differently now.
The entire experience was overwhelming and Ari had to stop herself from over-conjuring stuff when she realized she could have practically anything she wanted. It was kind of a high. But a dangerous one, Jai had warned. It was too easy to get drunk on power. Ari thought she could use his concern to her advantage. What she really wanted to do was learn how to use the peripatos. The peripatos was jinn form of traveling. Jinn could travel from New York to Sydney by concentrating on where they wanted to go. However, Jai said it was pretty exhausting the first time around and he wanted her to build on her abilities before she did any of the big stuff.
Getting to use the peripatos was one of many things Ari felt impatient about. She was impatient to learn the ‘cool’ jinn stuff, she was impatient to hear from the Red King about the shaitan who had put her dad in a coma. What she wasn't impatient for was the day she’d have to cut ties with her friends and family.
There were moments throughout the whole day when Ari had to shake herself because she found her thoughts climbing over her like creeping ivy, scratching and biting into her skin and entangling her in their morbid clutch. Because wasn’t it true that not only was she not human, but she was kind of a 'thing’ rather than jinn? The seal was an object with no feelings. It had one purpose. To command the jinn. What did that really make her then?
It got to where she deliberately drew on all the horrible truths that broke her heart to remind herself she was more than an object. She was a being with thoughts and emotions. It was completely masochistic.
Realizing how dangerous her position was among the jinn, Ari was certain walking away from her human life was for the best. She couldn’t stick around and put the people she cared about in jeopardy. The plan was to walk away from Ohio and her friends and her dad. No matter how heartbreaking.
But Charlie…
It was so selfish, but Ari was glad the stubborn idiot didn’t want to leave her. Asking him to leave and never come back was the hardest thing she’d ever done. She was impressed with her poise when she tried to do it (maybe she had inherited a little jinn stoicism after all) but her heart had slammed like a wrecking ball against her ribs the whole time she’d waited for his response. It had been weird with Jai eavesdropping, strange for many reasons she didn’t want to analyze, but in that moment, she and Charlie shared something new — a spark. Something Charlie hadn’t allowed before. He’d actually looked like he'd been leaning in to kiss her before Jai came out of the kitchen to interrupt them.
Ari didn't know what she would have done if Charlie kissed her.
She’d wanted his kisses for so long, but right now wasn't the time. Besides, she really needed to know where he stood. He still hung out with that idiot Rickman, after all.
Come on, Ari, her inner voice scolded as she followed Charlie and Jai into the hospital. Is that really the problem? You had no issue hooking up with Charlie a few weeks ago, Rickman or no Rickman. Are you sure this doesn't have anything to do with a pair of green soulful eyes you can’t get out of your head? Irritated with her inner monologue, Ari dragged her gaze from Jai and she picked up her stride, overtaking the boys in the hospital corridor. She smiled serenely at the nurse outside her dad’s room. Physical distance would put the guardian out of her mind.
The nurse said there was no change with her dad.
Of course there wasn’t.
Even though Ari knew her dad wouldn’t come out of the coma until she'd commanded the offending shaitan to reverse the enchantment, she was determined to visit him every night. She didn’t want him getting lonely. Irrational perhaps, but this wasn’t exactly the most rational experience Ari had ever gone through.
Charlie and Jai followed her inside and her heart plummeted into her stomach at the sight of her father. She'd forgotten how small and vacant he looked lying there. She clasped his hand in hers.
“I’m going to get a coffee,” Charlie said quietly, edging toward the door. He was still uncomfortable in the hospital. Ari told him he didn’t need to join her and Jai for visiting hours, but her best friend looked at Jai dubiously and shook his head, determined to be there for her. Ari wondered if Charlie was jealous of Jai. How silly of him.
Really.
Ari flicked a look at her guardian as he sat down on a chair in the corner and pulled out a book. He casually opened it to his placeholder. “Black, one sugar.”
Charlie sighed and threw him an irritated look before he turned to Ari, his features softening into something tender and sweet in comparison. “Ari?”
She shook her head. “I’m good, thanks.”
“Okay. Be back in five.”
When he left, Ari studied Jai, who determinedly read his book, pretending she didn’t exist. Not for the first time in the last twenty-four hours, Ari wondered what she'd done to make him so cold toward her. And worse, she hated it bothered her so much; it bothered her that last night, as she tried to sleep, the one thing playing over and over in her mind was the wintry look in his eyes when he returned from his Ginnaye tribe with the tellicherry bark. She told herself the reason his attitude bothered her so much was because, after her dad woke up, Jai would be one of only three people she had left in her life.
Pain, like a sharp claw cutting a deep scratch across her chest, flared for a minute as she stared at this cold stranger in front of her, and she knew it was more than that.
I like him.
Crap.
I more than like him.
But I love Charlie!
I do love Charlie.
But Jai is…
Jai was what? She frowned, edging closer to her dad to squeeze his hand as if his very presence, despite how hollow, could bring her some support, some clarification, some comfort. As she let her gaze travel over Jai, she felt that warm, excited flush take over her again. Maybe it was just physical attraction. Really strong physical attraction.
But it was more than that. Even when he was being Mr. Cold and Distant, she loved talking to him. She loved sharing her new abilities with him, teasing him, and learning what she could about him. Ari wanted to know more! She wanted the opportunity to put a spark in his eyes, to make him smile.
Ari realized she was grinning at the thought and blushed, dropping her gaze.
She was acting love sick.
This is not good.
In fact, this is terrible.
A familiar voice outside the hospital door brought her out of her musings.
“We're looking for Derek Johnson. We’re friends of the family.”
Rachel! She was here? Oh crap.
Ari trembled as Jai shot to his feet. She hadn’t called Rachel or Staci about her dad. She'd been trying to prepare herself for seeing them, as their next meeting would be their last. Ari’s stomach flipped. How could she turn them away, turn them against her?
I’m not ready.
“I’m going into the cloak,” Jai whispered. He gave her a look that said, 'you can do this'.
She gulped, nodding, and watched him disappear. Ari could still feel him, though. He'd witness this awful moment. Ari had discussed leaving her life behind with Jai and Charlie only hours before. They thought it was the right thing to do (Jai thought it was smart, Charlie didn’t care what she did as long as she didn’t leave him behind) and Ari drew strength from their support.
Turning her friends against her, though? Not the easiest thing Ari would ever do.
She waited, bracing herself, as footsteps approached the door. The nurse thrust it open. “Your father has visitors, Ms. Johnson.
”
“Okay.” The nurse nodded and departed. Rachel strode into the room, followed by Staci. Staci wore a somber expression.
“Oh, Ari,” she whispered, and then threw herself into her arms. Ari hugged her, bending down as she always had to when hugging Staci and Rachel. Staci pulled away only for Rachel to envelop her. Ari tightened her hold on her friend, knowing this was the last gesture of affection that would ever exist between them. Choking back the burning anger in her throat that life had come to this, Ari retreated and pushed Rachel gently away.
“What happened?” Rachel asked, her brows creased in concern. “Why didn’t you call? I found out from my aunt.”
Oh shoot. Of course. Ari had forgotten Rachel’s aunt was a nurse in the hospital. News traveled fast in Sandford Ridge.
“Yeah, and my dad found out from Mr. Wilshire that works with your dad,” Staci added. “They say he just collapsed at work?”
Ari nodded, unable to meet their eyes. She hated lying. “Yeah. They don’t know what’s wrong. Or if he’ll wake up.”
“Oh God, Ari, I’m so sorry,” Rachel said, tears shimmering in her clear baby blue gaze. “You should have called. You shouldn’t go through this alone.”
Okay, time to put my game face on.
She smoothed her features, attempting the same expressionless mask Jai wore most of the time. “I’m not. Charlie’s here, he’s getting coffee.”
“You told Charlie, but not us?” Rachel couldn’t hide her hurt. Even Staci looked upset and confused.
“He is my best friend.”
“Oh.”
“Well…” Staci shrugged. “We’re totally here now. What can we do?”
“Nothing.” Ari perfected her monotone. “There’s nothing anyone can do.”
Rachel offered her a watery smile. “We could take your mind off it. There’s nothing you can do, sweetie, but let the doctors figure this out. We're here at your disposal.” Her eyes lit up. “What if we took you across state to Penn? We could check it out together. Your dad would want you to.”
A part of Ari was genuinely angry at the suggestion. Did they really think she would leave Sandford Ridge while her dad lay dying in a hospital bed? Was college all Rachel ever thought about? Even though the rational side of her knew Rache was trying to comfort her and take her mind off the horrible situation, Ari drew on that anger. She shot her best friend a disgusted, disdainful look. “Is that all you think about? College? My dad is dying, Rache!”
“Ari, no, I didn’t mea—”
“And I’m not going to college. I never wanted to go to Penn.”
Rachel shook her head, perplexed. “Wait. No. Of course you want Penn. Ari, you can’t let this hurt your future. Your dad wouldn’t want that.”
Do it. Just do it.
She sneered. “You don’t know what he’d want. How could you when you don’t even know your supposed best friend? I’ve been freaking out for weeks about college, but I couldn’t talk to my best friend about it because she would have turned her back on me the second I said I didn’t want to go.”
Rachel flinched. “Ari, that is so not true. I would have been there if you’d just talked to me. You blame it on me, but you don’t confide in us. You didn’t even tell us your dad was in hospital. What is wrong with you?” Her lips trembled. Rachel was close to tears. Ari couldn’t stand to see anyone cry.
Yet somehow she forced herself to remain strong. “I just know who my real friends are, is all.”
“What? Charlie Creagh?” Rachel cried, tears spilling free. “Yeah, Ari, he’s such a good friend. He hasn’t been there for you for the last two years. He’s a loser. And if you keep going this way, you’ll end up just like him.” Her last words were caught on a sob as she fled the hospital room.
Staci stood frozen for a moment, staring at Ari as if she’d never seen her before. Finally, she cleared her throat. “I don’t know what that was about, but I know this isn’t you. So does Rache. She’ll realize when she stops crying that this… this isn’t you.” She gave Ari a soft, heartbreaking smile. “I want you to know that when you’re ready to deal with all of this, we’ll still be here, Ari. We’ll be waiting.”
Her promise almost broke Ari’s resolve. She wanted to fall into Staci’s arms and hug her friend and ask her to take away the last few weeks. She wanted to go back and have everything be how it once was. But she could never go back. There were no friends, no parties, no college in her future. There was good and evil, magic and danger. And Rachel and Staci were too important. She couldn't endanger their lives by involving them.
Throwing her shoulders back, Ari gulped down the nausea brought on by her grief. She looked right through Staci and replied in a monotone, “Don’t bother.”
Staci’s eyes glistened with shocked tears before a little puff of disbelief escaped her lips. She spun around and marched out the room after Rachel.
Ari sagged and a sob caught in the back of her throat as she leaned on her dad's bed for support.
A hand slid across her back, a spicy, familiar cologne tickled her senses. “You okay?” Jai asked.
Frustrated at everything, Ari jerked away from his comforting touch and felt him retreat. She shot him a look over her shoulder and found him gazing blankly at her. Ari wished he cared enough to be mad, to be hurt by her. She wanted someone to be as mad and as hurt as she was. “What do you think?” she bit out. “How would you feel if you had to cut Trey out of your life?”
He shrugged uncomfortably, shoving his hands into his jeans’ pockets. He seemed like a scolded little boy.
Ari scoffed. “God, you and Charlie are so similar.”
“No, we're not,” he vehemently disagreed.
"Well, you both have made an art out of hiding your feelings.”
Jai shrugged. “We’re just guys.”
Ari shook her head, hating everyone and everything. “You’re asshats.”
Chapter 20
I don’t want this heart
it’s split in two
Sunlight poured in through the kitchen window like an ineffective interrogation spotlight. Ari turned her head this way and that, catching the beams of fiery light on her face, and felt nothing but the temperate tingle of its touch.
She missed the heat.
She missed... her dad. Her friends. It was weird, but she’d spent half her time complaining they weren’t really there for her. As it turned out, they were there enough for their absence to leave behind a hollowness. Charlie and Jai sat behind her at the kitchen table. Charlie had gone out to the store and gotten some eggs. Jai had cooked omelets. They existed together in a strained state of peace, for Ari’s sake. Ari felt as tense around them as they did around one another.
Feeling the way she did. About them both.
It wasn’t enough to worry constantly that the Red King hadn’t contacted them in three days, or that Rachel and Staci were no longer in her life (and were so easily driven off—it was a little insulting), or that she was exhausted from using her jinn magic twenty-four hours a day. Who knew that conjuring random crap out of thin air could grow boring? But it did. Ari could see why Jai lived like a human, fetching glasses of soda and cooking omelets. Not that she talked to him about it. Since the hospital, she'd been distant with Jai and Charlie. There was just too much to think about. Too much to feel and right now she was just...
Angry.
At her dad, at the White King, at the Red King, at Azazil, at Rachel and Staci, at Charlie, and at Jai for making her feel a certain way about him and then treating her like someone he couldn’t wait to be rid of. More than anyone, she was furious with herself. Surely she could cope with all of it better than this? She should be strong enough to protect the people she loved rather than push them away. She should be smart enough to find some way around the White King’s plans for her rather than playing directly into his hands; and she shouldn’t fall for a guy when she was supposed to be in love with someone else.
She pressed her nose against the wi
ndowpane. Life sucks.
Ari was close to giving up on feeling the heat through the glass when Jai’s steely voice cut through the room. “I think it’s time we test your other powers.”
Nervous little cretins awoke in her stomach.
Ari knew what Jai meant when he said ‘other powers’.
Stealing herself, she turned around. Charlie watched her carefully, a forkful of egg inches from his mouth as he waited for her answer. Jai crossed his arms over his chest and his biceps flexed.
“Why now?” she asked, afraid.
“Because the Red King is taking longer than I expected. I don’t know what that means, but I do know that time is running out. I think we should use what time we have sensibly. It makes sense we test the powers of the seal.” His eyes narrowed at her petulant expression. “Hey, I’m not happy about it either. The only way to test those abilities is to test it on the jinn. The only jinn we have in our midst? Yours truly. I’m putting a lot of trust in you not to command me to do something asinine.”
Ari snorted. “Asinine?”
“Ari…” he warned, standing up.
Charlie grinned. “Do I get to choose what she commands you to do? Come on, let me, it’ll be fun.”
Jai laughed humorlessly. “I said I don’t want her commanding me to do something asinine, kid.”
Charlie’s grin disappeared as quickly as it had surfaced. “I told you not to call me, kid, jinn boy. I’m what… two years younger than you, asshole?”
“Try four. And that’s only in physical years.”
“What? Are you trying to say I’m not mature?”