by Kit Rocha
It was all she wanted, a desire so vast and overwhelming that she couldn’t recall a single thing she’d ever needed this much. “Yes.”
He reached past her to open the door. Then he tightened his grip and the world tilted, and her breath escaped in a gasp as he swooped her into his arms and carried her over the threshold.
She forgot about her nervousness, forgot about everything as he kicked the door shut and carried her to the bed. He was gentle as he lowered her to her feet, but when he pulled back and reached for his jacket, his movements weren’t so patient.
“Wait—” She untangled one of the coin-laden straps of leather and drew it over his head. She dropped it into the hammered metal basin on her night table, the one where she slipped books and tablet computers when she finally gave in to the need to sleep. “Slow down a little.”
He let the jacket slide from his arms, revealing the fresh new ink on his shoulder—the Riders’ skull with a tree growing from the top, the usually bare branches decorated by scattered leaf buds. Ashwin curled his fingers toward his palms and took a deep breath. “I feel…” He hesitated, then shook his head. “I feel.”
She slid two more straps into the basin and cupped his face between her hands. “Tell me.”
“They accepted me.” He held the final leather cord in his hand, his fingers wrapped brutally tight around the gold coins. “They’re not scared of me. It’s irrational. It’s reckless. They know what I am, and they still…”
“Treated you like a Rider?”
The look in his eyes bordered on wild. “Like a hero.”
He said it as if it was unthinkable, and Kora wouldn’t cry. She couldn’t, not here. Not now. “You assisted the rebellion. You fought in the war. And now you’re here, with them, ready to fight again if you need to.” She loosened his fingers from the coins, stripped away the cord, and tossed it aside. “You are a hero.”
“You wouldn’t say that if you knew—”
“Yes, I would. I am.” She gripped his chin, made him look at her. “It doesn’t matter what the Base told you, Ashwin. All that matters is what you do. What you choose.”
He stared at her, those dark-brown eyes seething, until his silence snapped. He drove his fingers into her hair with a groan and crushed his mouth to hers. The shock of it sent a jolt rushing through her—desperation untempered by control.
It wasn’t like before, the times when she’d managed to push him beyond the limits of his self-restraint. This was raw hunger, unleashed and exposed, and she craved it with a ferocity that startled her. The real Ashwin, stripped of the muffling layers of self-discipline that had been forced on him.
She’d take whatever she could get, the glimpses between the bars of his cage, but she wanted everything. All of him.
“Belt,” he rasped against her lips, the command clear. Then he licked her lips, dug his teeth into the lower one, and nipped hard enough to send shocks galloping through her.
Blindly, she reached for the buckle, but her fingers brushed the hard ridge of his cock through his jeans instead. He hissed in a breath, his fingers tightening in her hair. “Fuck.”
Heat pulsed between her thighs. She yanked at the belt buckle, sighing into his mouth when it finally fell open. He tilted her head and rewarded her with a deeper kiss, his tongue teasing over hers, stroking, coaxing. His grip on her hair relaxed, then sharpened again, the pressure deliberate this time.
Deliberate—and commanding. It slowed her racing thoughts, narrowed her focus to one simple thing: his pleasure. She pulled away, but just far enough to gather his shirt and ease it over his head. His jeans were worn, the denim soft and supple, and she jerked open the buttons one by one.
Then she slid to her knees on the floor at his feet.
His chest heaved. His eyes sparked. But he watched her with a silent anticipation so sharp she could taste it.
Slowly, so slowly, she loosened the laces on one of his boots. “I keep thinking about the night you kidnapped me,” she whispered. “I don’t like that word—I don’t think it fits—but I’m not sure there’s a better one.”
“Requisitioned,” he murmured.
She bowed her head to hide a smile. “Borrowed, maybe?” He stepped out of the boot, and she started on the second. “I think about what would have happened if you had shown up for another reason. For no reason, just because you wanted to see me.”
“I was embedded with Special Tasks, under regular surveillance. I wouldn’t have exposed you to that level of risk for personal gratification.” He exhaled roughly. “But I...wanted to see you.”
“So tell me.” His other boot hit the floor with a thud. She stripped away his socks, then stretched up to brush a kiss just beneath his navel. “If no one was dying that night. No surveillance, no risk. Would you have come to me?”
“No,” he said hoarsely. “I actually would have kidnapped you. Gotten you out of there. Taken you someplace safe.”
She hesitated, her fingers wrapped around his loosened belt. She’d never been concerned for her safety. She’d lived in a cage in the city, yes, but it had always been a gilded one, no less luxurious in its own way than her home here. “Where would we have gone?”
“A safe house.” He stared down at her, a wariness in his eyes that she didn’t understand until he continued. “I had one ready before the start of the war. A place where the Base and Eden would never find you.”
He made it sound like they would have looked, which was ridiculous. Kora eased his jeans down, rubbing her thumbs over his hipbones as she went. “Is it still there?”
“Probably. I haven’t checked in close to seven months, so I can’t say for certain.”
The idea of him carefully carving out a haven for them was as moving as it was adorable. For a moment, Kora wondered what sort of place he’d set up for them—then she realized she didn’t have to wonder. She knew him, the ways his mind worked and the things that were important to him.
“A different question with the same answer. Again.” His cock sprang free of his pants. She rubbed her cheek against its hard length and looked up at him. “All you had to do was ask.”
“Kora—” Her name was almost a groan. His fingers trembled in her hair. Strong, implacable Ashwin was shaking as he stared down at her. “Please.”
She peeled away his jeans first, so that he stood naked in the moonlight filtering through the windows, every glorious inch of him hard and ready. Teasing him was out of the question, a torment she couldn’t even consider. So she gripped him with the same firm pressure he’d shown her before and touched her tongue to the head of his cock.
His taste flooded her, along with the sound of his hoarse moan. Spurred on by his wordless encouragement, she kept licking him, soothing her tongue over his rigid flesh until he was wet, glistening.
Ready for her mouth.
“Do it,” he ground out. It should have sounded like a command, but the need trembling through him turned it into a plea, and she answered it by closing her lips around him.
She knew what to do—in theory. He was right when he’d accused her of sneaking onto the blacklisted networks, and though she’d gone there for information, her curiosity had also led her to the vast collection of erotic imagery and videos stashed on the servers.
But none of the videos had conveyed how easy it was to let his reactions lead her, how she knew when to suck harder or take him deeper, just from the pressure of his hand at the back of her head. And they’d completely failed to capture the sheer power of this moment. She might be kneeling at his feet, but all of his attention, every single brain cell, was focused entirely on the slightest brush of her tongue. On her fingernails scratching over his hip, and the clasp of her fingers around the base of his shaft.
She took him deeper, and his fingers twisted in her hair. Not the careful, precise application of pressure he’d used before, but reflexive. As uncontrolled as the jerk of his hips. He cursed and stilled, but his ragged breaths filled the silence. “More.”
He came apart for her slowly. Little things at first—the pressure of his fingertips on her scalp, guiding her movements. The tightening of his jaw. The simmering need in his gaze, which never wavered from her face. The way he rasped her name when she took him as deep as she could, until her lips met her own fist.
He freed one hand from her hair and slid his thumb across her cheek to where her lips stretched wide around his shaft. “You’re so beautiful.”
Her eyes locked with his, and her heart pounded painfully as she let her hand drop to her lap.
His breath caught. He cupped her cheek and eased his hips back a few inches. The fingers still twisted in her hair tightened, preventing her from following. “You like sensation,” he murmured as he rocked forward again, thrusting between her lips until his cock barely nudged the back of her throat. “Drowning in it. Being overwhelmed. Don’t you?”
He didn’t move, and the deliciously heavy weight of him on her tongue, filling her mouth, made it impossible to do anything more than nod.
His thrust was faster this time. Not quite as careful, though he stopped short of choking her. The pull of his hand in her hair sharpened until her eyes watered as he thrust again with a low, helpless groan. “So good.”
Her stomach quivered as she picked up his rhythm, meeting each rock of his hips until he stiffened and hissed, dragging her head back. “I’m going to come,” he rasped, gripping the glistening shaft with his other hand. “If you don’t want it to be in your mouth, tell me now.”
Her unspoken hunger for him wasn’t enough. He needed the words. “Please don’t stop.”
His eyes blazed. “Give me your hand.”
She obeyed, and he curled her fingers around his erection just below the head before folding his own over them. He tugged on her hair, guiding her parted lips back to his crown, and thrust between the circle of their joined fingers and into her mouth.
Then he started to move. Faster now, rough but controlled by the iron grip of their hands. He was watching her so intently, as if nothing in existence could tear his attention away from this moment, and the effect was almost narcotic. A dizzy warmth stole through her as she stared back, spellbound, and flicked her tongue over him.
He shuddered and came with a noise torn between agony and relief.
Kora squirmed as he spilled in her mouth, salty and hot, nearly overwhelming her. She swallowed and stroked him, easing him through the orgasm until his shudders subsided into tremors.
The room was silent except for their ragged breathing. For an instant, they were locked there, a still, perfect moment in the aftermath of pleasure.
Then she reached for him.
Ashwin dragged her up his body, hoisting her off the floor. His mouth found hers, hot and open, kissing her deep as he turned and sank to the edge of the bed with her straddling his lap.
That quickly, the storm surged again. Lust clawed at her, a desire so sharp it almost hurt...but so did something else. A pressure in her chest, a yearning that had everything and nothing to do with his naked skin beneath her hands.
Oh God, she was in love with him.
His hands scattered the thought, driving under her T-shirt to stroke bare skin. He urged the fabric up and over her head, breaking their kiss just long enough to cast it aside before seizing her mouth again. He kissed her breathless, then left her lips, trailing down her throat to her rushing pulse.
She knew it was coming, and she still cried out when he bit her.
The sting of his teeth eased, replaced with his tongue, soft and soothing. He dragged the straps of her bra off her shoulders, then peeled the fabric away from her breasts, baring them to the cool air. But he left the straps tangled around her elbows, trapping her arms in place.
Then he dipped his head and sucked one nipple into the impossible heat of his mouth.
She couldn’t move, but he wouldn’t let her fall. Kora closed her eyes as pleasure pulsed in her veins, matching every rhythmic draw of his lips. Then the edge of his teeth grazed her again, rough and sharp, and she cursed her clothes, the only thing standing between her and the heat of his body.
He toyed with her until she was panting, then switched to her other breast and started again. Lips. Tongue. Teeth. He sucked until she squirmed on his lap, desperate to get closer. Until she thought she couldn’t take another moment.
His fingers found the twisted clasp at her back, freeing her bra and her arms. But before she could move, he upended them both, dropping her to the mattress on her back. He loomed over her, blocking out the moonlight as he skimmed his hands down her body to the button on her shorts. “We should discuss contraceptive concerns.”
It was so unexpected that her hands almost fell to the bed at her sides. “Are there any?”
“Likely not,” he murmured, popping open the button. “I underwent the usual procedure. But if you still have concerns…” Her zipper rasped softly in the darkness. “There are plenty of safe alternatives.”
“I have a contraceptive implant,” she told him. “I asked Dylan Jordan to take care of it the last time I was in Sector Four. Because—” Because what? She couldn’t tell him that she’d finally decided that she needed to move on with her life, whether she wanted to or not.
“It doesn’t matter why.” He tugged at her shorts and underwear, urging her to lift her hips so he could drag the fabric down her legs. “I’m here. I’ll take care of you.”
But it did matter—to her. When he dropped the rest of her clothes on the floor, she wrapped her fingers around his wrist and asked the question she’d been swallowing since he showed up in One. “Where were you?”
He froze—and with other people, freezing was a figure of speech. But Ashwin had perfect control of every muscle, and they all turned to ice. For three unsteady breaths, he was a shadow-clad statue. Then he exhaled slowly. “You saw me during the final battle of the war, Kora. I wasn’t...stable.”
She knew what the Base doctors did to unstable Makhai soldiers. Most of the disciplinary citations in her personnel file were there because she’d refused to take part in the recalibration procedures, and because she’d called it what it really was—torture. “How long?”
“I returned to the Base that night. They sent me back out a few weeks ago.”
It was her turn to freeze. Her heart seized, surrounded by a knot of pain that tightened until only a scream could release it, but she couldn’t make a sound.
Months. He’d spent week after week locked in a cell, only to be taken out and delivered into the hands of his tormenters. They used drugs that caused unspeakable pain, and when those didn’t work, they resorted to even more brutal methods. All to break him down completely.
The bed dipped. Ashwin stretched out beside her and pulled her close. “It’s all right, Kora. I’m all right.”
The protectiveness she’d felt at the bonfire roared back, but this time, consuming wasn’t a strong enough word. It blazed through her, hot enough to scorch through an entire sector if she unleashed it.
She touched his face instead, her hand trembling on his cheek. “Never again,” she whispered. “No one else will ever hurt you like that.”
He turned into her hand, his lips brushing her fingers. “It didn’t work,” he told her quietly. “I thought they’d pulled everything out. I thought they’d pulled you out.” He caught her wrist and pressed the next kiss to the sensitive skin there. “The recalibration started to fail the first time you touched me.”
“Because you’re still you, and I’m still me. And this…” She stroked her other hand over his back, scratching lightly with her nails when his muscles tensed beneath her touch. “This is right.”
“It’s right,” he echoed, rolling her onto her back. His hand skated down her side and over her hip t
o rest on her knee.
At the slight pressure, she parted her legs, but she couldn’t stop herself from shielding her flushed face against his shoulder.
“Kora.” His voice was warm and firm. Steady, even as his fingers traced up her inner thigh. “Don’t hide from this.”
“I’m not, it’s—” She met his gaze, and the hunger burning there made her want to press her legs together again, just to relieve the ache. “It’s still new for me.”
He splayed his fingers across the top of her thigh, his thumb only inches from her pussy. “Put your hand on my chest. Over my heart.”
She obeyed without looking away, sliding her hand over his sternum until she felt the strong thump beneath her palm.
“Do you feel it racing?” His thumb swooped back and forth against her skin. “You make it hard to breathe, Kora. You make me wonder what beautiful means. It’s new for me, too.”
Tenderness swelled through her, driving back the nervousness. “So we’ll figure it out together.”
He leaned down to kiss her—slowly, deliberately. The first stroke of his tongue across her lower lip coincided with his thumb grazing her pussy, mirrored caresses that coaxed her open bit by bit, until she couldn’t remember why she was supposed to be nervous at all.
He pulled back to watch her face as he sank his first finger into her. “Show me the rhythm you like.” His thumb settled on her clit. “Move for me.”
She had to. It was part instinct, part desperate need for the pleasure she already knew he could give her. She rocked her hips, chasing his hand as the delicious friction curled her toes.
He rewarded her with the firmer touch she needed. His thumb pressed harder as a second finger joined the first, heightening the delicious pressure. His gaze roamed her face, intent. Transfixed. “Tell me how it feels.”
“Like you’re a part of me. You always are, but—” A shudder wracked her, stealing her words and her breath. “This makes it real.”
He edged his knee over hers, tangling their legs together. His fingers sank deeper, meeting the roll of her hips and driving a choked cry from her throat. “Show me. Come.”