He cleared his throat as he focused his attention back to the TV.
Tiffany stepped closer to the bed. Not sure what she was doing, he glanced over at her and smiled. “Have a fun time?” he asked.
Tiffany leaned in. “What?”
Realizing that she couldn’t hear him over the TV, he clicked the volume down to a manageable decibel.
“Did you have a fun time?”
Tiffany sat down on the corner of the bed and studied him. “Yeah. Cody is nice.”
Jonathan swallowed hard as he forced a smile. “Well, that’s good. Cody seems like an alright guy.” He shrugged like he didn’t care. Anything to save face with Tiffany.
“He is.”
Jonathan’s cheeks hurt from how hard he was smiling. Turns out a fake smile is a lot harder to manage then a real one. Plus, what was up with their conversation? Was this really what they’d come to? Awkward one-liners?
Ugh.
Their relationship was over before it ever began.
Frustrated with how he was feeling, Jonathan pushed off the bed and headed over to the fridge to pull out a bottle of water. Once it was half gone, he twisted the lid back on and set it on the dresser next to the TV.
He turned around to see Tiffany staring off into the distance. She was studying the wall and looked as if she had a lot on her mind.
Normally he’d ask her what was wrong, but he wasn’t sure if that was overstepping anymore. After she’d rejected him earlier at the bar, he wasn’t sure he could handle her doing that again. He sighed and rolled his shoulders as he moved over to one of the dresser drawers and pulled it open. Maybe they had something to read in one of them.
Anything to make him look distracted.
“Looking for something?” Tiffany asked.
Jonathan slammed one of the drawers—probably a bit too hard. Turning, he shrugged. “A book. Something.”
She studied him for a moment before she exhaled and flopped back on the bed.
“What’s happening to us?” she whispered, almost as if she hadn’t meant to say it out loud.
Jonathan’s heart began to race as he stepped forward. Had he heard her right? What did that mean?
“What?” he asked.
Tiffany pinched her lips together as she stared up at the ceiling. So she had been trying to keep it a secret.
“Jonathan, let it go,” she said as she reached her hands up to her face and began massaging her temples.
“Let what go?” For some inane reason, he thought it was wise to walk over to her. Like facing her was the best way to get her to tell the truth.
She closed her eyes. “Whatever you think is going on.”
He needed her to look him in the eyes. He needed her to tell him that it was hopeless. There was no way he was going to be able to move on if she didn’t know how he felt.
“Why are you doing this?” he asked, his voice coming out rough.
Tiffany stilled, her eyes closed. Then she slowly opened them. “Jonathan, I can’t—”
“Can’t or won’t?”
She glanced over at him and then slowly sat up. She stood, moving toward the window and peering out. “I like Cody. I’m sorry.”
No. There was no way he could believe that. She’d just met the guy. “Typical Tiffany,” he said as he walked over to the TV and turned it off.
She whipped around, a fiery look in her eyes. “‘Excuse me?”
Jonathan met her frustration with the same amount of intensity. He wasn’t going to let her off the hook. She was running away and she knew it. She always ran from what was real. “You’re a coward.”
Her eyebrows rose as her lips parted. “I’m a what?”
Jonathan stood his ground. He was her best friend. It was his job to call her on her crap. “You’re being a coward. You’re afraid of love.”
She stepped forward, her hand raised as if she were trying to stop the words lingering in the air. “I am not a coward. And what about you? Running from any meaningful relationship.”
He studied her. “What?”
She held up her fingers and pointed them in his direction. “When was the last time you had a relationship that lasted longer than a Tic Tac?”
Jonathan shook his head. “I’m not the one on trial here. I’m not the one fighting my feelings.”
Her expression softened as she studied him. “What does that mean?” she whispered as she dropped her hand.
“I think you know,” he said, stepping forward, the desire to touch her overpowering him. He needed her to know how he felt even if she was never going to let him say it.
“Jonathan,” she breathed as he approached her. She didn’t move to back away, which he took as a good sign.
Throwing caution to the wind, he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her against him. Every part of him needed to touch her. To feel her close.
“Tiffany,” he whispered, dipping down to press his lips to hers.
The room around him stilled as she tensed. Worried he’d done something wrong, he moved to pull away. But Tiffany wouldn’t let him. Instead, she raised her hands up to his neck and entwined her fingers in his hair, crushing his mouth to hers.
Jonathan let out a growl as he reached down and pulled her legs up around his waist. He held her steady as his mouth explored hers.
Every part of him needed her to know that she was the one. He needed this kiss to say everything that he hadn’t been able to say. That he was in love with her.
He made his way over to the bed and sat her down gently. He focused on her lips as she parted them and allowed him in.
This was so much more than a kiss. She was finally admitting that there was something more than friendship between the two of them. This kiss meant they just might have a chance at what he so desperately wanted.
For her to love him back.
He pulled back and met her gaze, studying every part of her face. She was pure perfection. How had he never seen that before.
Her hands were warm as they explored his chest, arms, and back.
He dropped down onto his elbows so he could brush her hair from her face. Then he leaned in and pressed his lips gently to her forehead, temple, and then cheek.
She let out a soft sigh, and it stirred a hunger inside of him. He wanted Tiffany. All of her.
He moved to press his lips to hers again, but this time, she pushed against his chest. Confused, he pulled back to study her.
Instead of the hazy-eyed girl that had been kissing him before, she was wide-eyed and panicked. Like she’d just made the biggest mistake of her life.
“I—I need to go to the bathroom,” she said.
Worried he’d done something wrong, he nodded and stood, allowing her to slip past him. She didn’t look back as she hurried into the bathroom and shut the door.
Now alone, Jonathan sat down on the bed. Thoughts swirled around in his mind. Part of him was deliriously happy. He was in love with his best friend.
The other part of him worried that there was no way she felt the same.
Chapter Fourteen
Oh crap. Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap.
What had she just done?
Tiffany stood on the other side of the bathroom door, pressing her hand to her stomach. Everything was in knots—good and bad.
But her head was screaming at her.
This was not what she’d decided on. It was the exact opposite. She was supposed to stay away from Jonathan, not assault his lips.
Groaning out of frustration, she made her way over to the toilet and sat on the lid. She dropped her head into her hands and closed her eyes.
She could still see Jonathan staring down at her with so much feeling in his gaze that it took her breath away. He cared about her. A lot. And she’d allowed him to believe that was an okay thing to do.
Like she wasn’t going to break his heart, even though she knew she was going to do.
Why was she so dumb? She shouldn’t have allowed any of this to happen.
Never mind the fact that she would have to go back out there and tell Jonathan that it had been a huge mistake, she was now going to have to live with the fact that she’d broken his heart. He’d handed it to her, and she’d taken it and then stomped all over it.
She was the worst friend in existence.
Tears welled up in her eyes, and she tipped her face up to squelch them. She didn’t deserve to feel like this. She’d been the one to let her guard down and let Jonathan get sucked into her messed-up world. The world where she disappointed every guy she’d ever been with.
Once Jonathan realized how ridiculous she was, he would want to leave. He’d walk out the door and abandon her. Just like her mom did. Just like every man in her life did.
She was born to be alone. She should accept that before she hurt anyone else.
She needed to stop feeling sorry for herself and be the bigger person. Face Jonathan like he deserved. She needed to tell him that the kiss was a huge mistake. That she knew he would be upset, but she hoped he’d forgive her and they could move forward…as friends.
Just as she thought the last few words, her chest squeezed. That wasn’t what she wanted. Not at all.
She wanted to be more than friends. She wanted him. All of him. She’d been friends with him for so long, and she knew what that was like.
But now? She wanted to be his. She wanted to wake up next to him and fall asleep at night with him by her side.
She wanted to have his children.
Shaking her head, she scolded herself. Was she an idiot? What was wrong with her?
Jonathan deserved so much better than her. He deserved a woman. A perfect woman. And she was far from that.
She wrapped her arms around her chest and stared over at the sink. She knew what lay on the other side of the wall, and she wasn’t sure if she could handle disappointing him. It was breaking her heart just thinking about it.
“He deserves better,” she whispered to herself. He deserved so much better.
She swallowed as she stood and turned on the shower. She needed some time away from him if she was going to survive. After throwing her hair up into a bun, she slipped under the hot water, allowing it to beat against her tense muscles.
She closed her eyes as she played back the kiss in her mind.
It was mind blowing. Everything she thought a kiss should be. Every other kiss she’d experienced paled in comparison to his.
The way he made her feel shocked her. It made her feel vulnerable and scared, something she hadn’t allowed herself to feel, and yet, the fact that it was Jonathan soothed her. She trusted him.
Frustrated with the thoughts pounding against her skull, she flipped off the water and grabbed a towel. She needed to get out of here. She needed distance from him.
After slipping on her clothes, she pulled her hair down and took a deep breath. She just needed to leave the room before he noticed.
Which was probably not likely, but she could do it.
She rested her hand on the doorknob and counted down. She turned the handle and kept her gaze on the floor as she located her shoes.
“Tiffany?” Jonathan’s low and confused voice caused her to shiver.
She was hurting him, she could tell. But it was better for her to leave now before she hurt him more. Just like ripping off a Band-Aid.
“I have to go,” she whispered, emotions choking her throat.
“But…” His hand reached out and wrapped around her arm.
Tiffany fought the tears that were threatening to spill. If Jonathan saw them, then he’d know they were for him and he’d never let her go. Hadn’t he always said it was his job to protect her? Call her crazy, but she was pretty sure he would categorize this as something she needed saving from.
“I have to go,” She repeated as she grabbed her purse and pushed it up onto her shoulder. She turned and hurried over to the door, where she reached out to grab the handle.
“Hang on,” he said. The panic in his voice caused her to stop.
She hated what she was doing to him. He was her friend. He deserved to have her hear him out.
“What?” she asked, braving heartbreak as she glanced up at him.
Thankfully, he wasn’t looking at her. Instead, he was digging around in his wallet. He emerged with a keycard. When his gaze met hers, her heart nearly stopped.
He was in pain. So much pain. She was the reason he was hurting. She’d spent so much time trying to stop this exact thing, but she’d ended up doing it anyways.
Hurting the people she loved.
“Here. In case you want to come back.” He held up the keycard in front of her.
Tiffany parted her lips as she raised her hand and wrapped her fingers around the card. There was so much she wanted to say but couldn’t. He’d think he had a chance if she spoke.
So she just nodded, slipped the card from his hand, and grabbed the door handle.
It wasn’t until she was on the other side of the door that she allowed herself to breathe again. But it wasn’t a smooth inhalation. It was staggered and rough. It matched how she felt inside perfectly.
Closing her eyes, she calmed her nerves enough to walk down the hall. She didn’t want people to see her and assume there was a crazy person in the hotel. That was the last thing she needed.
Once she was sure she at least appeared calm, she pushed off the wall and made her way down to the elevator. She wasn’t really sure where she was going, she just knew that she couldn’t stay here.
She boarded the elevator and took it down to the lobby. Once the doors opened on the foyer, she took in a deep breath. She could do this. It was the right thing.
Even though doubt tugged at her mind, she shook it off and stepped out onto the marble floor. She glanced around to find some of the wedding party milling around in the bar to the left.
If she were honest with herself, she really didn’t want to go socialize with her family. She just wanted to be alone.
But as she rounded the corner, a very loud squeal drew her attention over to Stacy, who rushed over to her and wrapped her into a hug.
“Hey, coz!” she exclaimed rather loudly in Tiffany’s ear.
She winced and hugged her cousin back. “Hey, Stacy.”
Stacy giggled as she pulled back. “I’m getting married tomorrow,” she whispered. Her eyes were wide, and for a moment, Tiffany saw some worry behind her cousin’s normally cheery gaze.
Worried that Stacy was having doubts, she pulled back and wrapped her arm around her cousin’s shoulders.
“What’s going on?” she asked.
Stacy sniffled as she shrugged. “It’s just a lot, you know. The commitment. What if…what if he gets bored with me? What will happen once I have kids and my boobs are hanging on the floor?” She started to wail, drawing the attention of people passing by.
Tiffany shushed her cousin as she led Stacy over to the elevator. “Let’s get you upstairs and get you in your pajamas. I’m sure you’re just overwhelmed.”
Stacy mumbled something about needing her girls and shoved her phone into Tiffany’s hand as the elevator doors shut and the car began to rise.
Tiffany found the group text she’d been on and messaged everyone to meet up in Stacy’s room for some girl time Everyone responded with a thumbs-up, and just as they neared Stacy’s suite, Tiffany found them all standing outside. Each had some sort of beauty item in their hands.
Stacy squealed as she reached out and engulfed them all in a big hug. Chatter rose up around them as Tiffany took the keycard from Stacy and swiped the door.
They spilled into the room. Tiffany lingered in the hallway as she glanced around. Where was Beatrice?
When she got into Stacy’s room, she glanced over at Heather, who was laughing as she opened the minibar.
“Really, Heather? Do you have a love of blinding headaches?” Tiffany said as she nodded toward the alcohol.
Heather shrugged. “I’ll be fine.”
Tiffany shook her
head. One of the reasons she watched what she drank was because she hated how out of control she felt. Plus, she’d done some pretty stupid things in her past when she was wasted, and she’d learned the hard way that it was the last thing she needed.
Heather took a mini bottle and slipped into the bathroom, where she declared that she was starting the bath so they could do pedicures.
Tiffany followed her inside and sat down on the toilet lid. She wanted to ask where Beatrice was without sounding desperate. After rubbing her palms on her thighs a few times, she took a deep breath.
“Hey, Heather?”
Heather turned and nodded at her. “What’s up?”
“Where’s Beatrice?”
Heather studied her. Then she shrugged as she dipped her fingers into the water. “I think she was off to check on Jonathan or something.”
Tiffany’s stomach lurched. Beatrice went to check on Jonathan? What did that mean?
And then she felt stupid. She knew what that meant. She knew exactly what Beatrice was trying to do. It was something she wouldn’t have thought twice about doing before.
She must have looked awful, because Heather’s eyebrows rose as she looked at Tiffany. “What’s with you? I thought you two broke up.”
Tiffany let out her breath as she sat down on the floor and wrapped her arms around her knees, hugging them to her chest. “Can I tell you a secret?”
Heather’s eyes widened as she nodded. “Always.”
Tiffany swallowed as she closed her eyes for a moment. “Jonathan was never my boyfriend. He’s been my best friend since we were kids.” Her voice drifted off as her emotions rose up in her chest. Everything about this weekend felt as if it were crushing her. Like if she took a moment to think about where her relationship was with Jonathan, she might break.
When Heather didn’t say anything, Tiffany glanced over at her.
“Why lie?” Heather asked, leaning over to flip off the water.
Tiffany buried her face in her hands. “I didn’t want to prove to everyone that, yet again, I suck at relationships. The boyfriend I was going to bring dumped me last week. Jonathan offered to come as my date so I could save face.”
Friendship Blooms in Honey Grove Page 12