“No,” Hannah said, stung by his statement. He had shared his fears with Mark and not her. “No, you don’t have to worry about that.”
She hadn’t known her son was afraid. She should have explored his feelings more when she realized he didn’t like hospitals. It had to be that visit to see Mark when he was in the nursing home. It was the only time Jeremy had been inside anything like a hospital.
“Do you have any other questions about being sick?” she asked. She still didn’t know what to tell Jeremy, but she could answer his concerns.
He just shook his head.
“The nurse will call us in shortly,” she continued with her hand on her son’s arm. “Then we go into a small room where the doctor will talk to us. He’s happy to answer any questions you can think of.”
The doctor had been willing to discuss all of Hannah’s concerns, too; she just hadn’t liked all of the answers he gave. His office had been in touch with the insurance group that Hannah used for her and Jeremy. She knew it wasn’t the best coverage; it didn’t sound like it would be even adequate.
“I want some water,” Jeremy announced suddenly and slid off her lap, standing on the floor. “Can I get some there?”
He pointed to the big water dispenser with the little cups that were shaped like cones.
Hannah nodded her head. Jeremy always liked cups of any kind and he might as well have the thrill of drinking from a paper one.
“Did the doctor ask about your insurance?” Mark asked quietly when Jeremy reached the water station.
Hannah nodded and blinked back tears at the same time.
“I need thirty thousand dollars,” she said, unable to keep the distress to herself. “For just our part.”
She heard Mark’s gasp and was satisfied that he was as surprised as she had been. She’d known, of course, that there would be an extra charge since the stem cell treatment that would save Jeremy’s leg wasn’t covered fully.
“The doctor told you it was that much?” Mark asked.
“He agreed it was unusual,” she said. “But I’m not asking for the recommended treatment. Plus the stem cell is experimental and insurance doesn’t usually cover those kinds of things.”
“Well, what is the recommended treatment?” Mark asked.
She flinched just thinking about it. “Amputation.”
“Oh,” Mark replied.
“The doctor said they are primarily worried about saving his life,” Hannah said. “There are prosthetics to replace a leg. And people live normal lives with them.”
“I’m sure they do,” Mark said. “I’ve seen people adapt to almost everything in the nursing home.”
Hannah nodded.
“Is there any risk to doing the stem cell?” Mark asked. “I mean, if that doesn’t work, will they still be able to amputate? We’d not be putting his life at risk, would we?”
Hannah looked up. “Of course not. I wouldn’t even suggest doing it if it wouldn’t be safe. I just—” She paused, trying to find the right words.
“We should be able to afford to take care of our son,” Mark explained it perfectly. “Parents ought to be able to do that much.”
She nodded. “I don’t want to have to explain to Jeremy someday that I could have saved his leg if I’d had the money.”
“We—” Mark gently corrected her words. “We’ll tell him you and I could have done it if we’d had the money.”
Hannah turned to Mark. He looked wretchedly sincere.
She nodded. “We’ll tell him we—” Then she paused. “I don’t suppose you have thirty thousand?”
“If I did, I’d hand it to you right now,” he said. “I have a few thousand and that’ll go into the pot. Would they take a down payment?”
Hannah shook her head. “I already asked. They need the money up front.”
The two of them just sat there in silence watching Jeremy walk back toward them. He was carefully holding the little paper cup in his hand.
“I did it, Mommy,” Jeremy announced proudly as he held out the cup to her. “Hold it while I climb up.”
Hannah took the cup, needing to blink back her tears. She couldn’t imagine not trying to save her son’s leg. Before she could do much more, she saw her son scramble up into Mark’s lap and then hold out a hand to her, asking for his cup.
She could only smile at Jeremy and hand him the water.
It no longer seemed so important whether her son preferred her or Mark. She would share Jeremy with anyone who loved him as long as God saw fit to let her son have a healthy leg so he could run and play like other children.
“Please, Father,” she whispered aloud.
Mark caught her gaze.
“Amen,” he added to her prayer.
Just then a nurse stepped into the waiting room, a clipboard in her hand, and called, “Jeremy Nelson.”
Hannah was sitting close enough to Mark that she could feel the jolt that went through him.
“He’s a Nelson?” Mark asked in wonder. “I always assumed you used Stelling for him. I guess I should have asked. Not that anyone ever wanted to talk to me about Jeremy.”
“I thought you knew,” she said. “I listed you on the birth certificate and I thought—well, I guess I thought at that point that you’d come out of the coma in a few months.”
“I’m here now,” Mark said. If she wasn’t mistaken, a tear was trailing down his cheek.
“Jeremy—” The nurse began her call again, so Hannah stood up.
“Here,” she said and then cleared her throat so her voice was strong enough to reach the nurse. “We’re here.”
The three of them walked forward with Jeremy in the middle. She noticed that her son hadn’t relinquished his plastic bag that carried his comic books. He had the handle looped over his arm, the bright colors of the heroes showing in the opening.
They had to separate in order to fit into the doctor’s examination room, and Mark gestured for Hannah to go first as he stood behind Jeremy. She was glad he’d thought to keep their son between them. Jeremy might not be crying, but she knew he didn’t want to be seen by a doctor. He’d appreciate being defended on all sides.
“There’s no shots today,” she turned to whisper to Jeremy so he wouldn’t worry about that at least.
The doctor was sitting beside the exam table and smiling. “A big boy like you has probably already had his shots for school anyway.”
The doctor was looking at Jeremy, but Hannah answered. “We did them last year. For day care.”
It was while getting those shots the first time that she’d mentioned to her last doctor Jeremy seemed to be tired a lot. She’d wondered at the time if he was not getting enough sleep, and after the doctor gave him a brief exam, he said she was probably right.
There was only one visitor’s chair in the room, so Mark suggested she take it. When she sank down into it, he stood behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. She was grateful for his presence. They both watched as Jeremy took off his shirt and climbed onto the exam table like the doctor told him to do.
Before doing anything, the doctor looked at Mark.
“Mr. Nelson?” he asked.
Mark nodded.
The doctor made a notation on a chart he had open on the counter behind him and then focused on Jeremy.
Hannah knew that chart already had the blood tests and X-rays from Jeremy’s previous medical encounters, but the doctor was methodical about poking and prodding his patient anyway.
It seemed like it took hours, but Hannah looked at the clock and only ten minutes passed when the doctor seemed to be finished with the physical exam. He lifted Jeremy down from the table.
“You’re a good boy,” the doctor said as he patted Jeremy on the head.
Hannah would have preferred the doctor declare him a healthy boy, but she knew th
at wasn’t likely given the concerned expression on the man’s face.
“I’ll need some more lab work,” the doctor said and handed her a form. “You can stop at this place on the way out of town. I’ll notify them when you leave here and they’ll set it up for you so it’ll be quick. Then we can go further.”
Hannah nodded. Mark said he’d like to talk to the doctor a bit more, so Hannah put her hand around Jeremy’s shoulder and started leading him back to the waiting room. She didn’t blame Mark for needing to hear about the cost from the doctor. She would have wanted to verify that, as well.
Oh, Lord, she prayed silently without even thinking. I can’t do this without your help.
She’d long ago decided that Jeremy was a gift from God. He kept her sane when she had no one else. The constant needs of a baby could distract almost anyone from their grief.
The prayers at least helped her gather her breath. Once in the waiting room with Jeremy, she sat down to wait for Mark. A doctor’s time was valuable, so she didn’t think Mark would be long.
It couldn’t have been more than five minutes when he stepped back into the room. He wasn’t smiling as he walked over to where she and Jeremy sat. Mark sank down in a chair beside Hannah and leaned closer to her ear.
“It’s thirty thousand, all right,” Mark whispered. “Payable on Monday morning.”
“This coming Monday morning?” she asked, aghast. “That’s so soon.”
Mark nodded.
Well, she thought, more time wouldn’t make much difference. “I’m already praying.”
“For this kind of money, we need the church praying,” Mark said as he stood up.
“I don’t like to—” Hannah started to say she didn’t like to broadcast her failings as a parent. But she had no choice in this. She’d tell the world she needed money if it would help.
She stood, too. “I’ll ask Mrs. Hargrove to put it on the prayer chain myself.”
There were few times when her pride didn’t matter one iota, and all of them related to Jeremy. She doubted anyone thought she had thirty thousand dollars anyway.
Mark guided them out of the building and, within minutes, they were at the lab. That didn’t take long and then they were driving back to Dry Creek with Jeremy asleep in his car seat.
“We didn’t get ice cream,” Mark said softly. They were already miles away from Billings.
“We’ve got some at the café,” Hannah said. “I can get him a scoop of vanilla. They keep it for the folks who like their pie à la mode.”
“Sounds good,” Mark said.
They were both exhausted and remained silent for many miles.
“It’s times like this when you bring out the family jewelry,” Mark finally said, ruefully. “If I’d had any sense, I’d have given you a big fancy engagement ring in high school that you could sell. I had money then.”
Hannah smiled. “You did give me that cereal box ring once.”
Mark grunted. “If you still had it, we could find a buyer, I’m sure.”
“I do have it, so there!” Hannah remembered when he gave her that ring and the kiss that followed.
Mark looked at her in astonishment. “Wasn’t it a mood ring or something like that?”
“It was a love ring,” she corrected him. “It was supposed to shine red when you thought about your beloved.”
“And did it?” he asked.
She shook her head. “Just once.” She paused. “The night we had our big fight.”
Mark was silent a minute. Then he sighed. “I was such a fool that night.”
“I suppose all kids make mistakes,” she said.
“You didn’t,” he shot back. “You never went out drinking at all. Not once.”
“Well, no,” she admitted. “I didn’t make that mistake. And you never did, either, until that night.”
Mark nodded.
They rode in silence for a while, but Hannah felt better just having him sit next to her. She knew she should trust God to help them with Jeremy’s treatment, but giving everything over to God was much easier said than done. It helped to have Mark there, as well.
She glanced back to see if Jeremy was still sleeping. He was and soundly.
“Do you think God will answer our prayers for the money we need?” she asked Mark.
He hesitated. “He said in the Bible He would meet all our needs.”
“I know what the Bible says,” Hannah replied. “I want to know what you think.”
Mark glanced over and she knew she’d caught him.
“I sure hope so,” he said. “But I remember—”
He didn’t finish his sentence, but she knew.
“When our mothers each died,” she said the words for him. They had prayed and mourned for their mothers in turn. It had been his mother first and then her adoptive mom.
“Well,” she said and then stopped. There was nothing to be said, really. They both knew of times when people prayed and nothing seemed to happen. She supposed that was what trust was all about, though. Trusting that God would do the best thing even if you didn’t agree with what that was.
From then on, she leaned back in the seat and watched the fields go by. Her father would have enjoyed seeing the crops, some recently harvested and others still growing. She always enjoyed the sway of the seasons here, the ebb and flow of crops. The greening and the browning of the grasses. Nothing stayed the same. It reminded her of God’s grace in some ways. It was in His control—she didn’t doubt that. It’s just that she didn’t know if He’d be planting or pruning when it came to her.
Chapter Ten
Mark sat at the table in his family home the next morning. His sister, Allie, had come over to fix his father some breakfast even though she and her new husband, Clay West, had their new home almost finished. Located to the right of the main ranch house, it was a sleek structure of rock and natural wood. Mark liked to have his sister walking around in their old home, though, and he was glad she’d come this morning.
“I’m thinking of going to see Mr. Gaines at the bank and asking for a loan,” he said softly as his father sipped his coffee and his sister buttered a piece of nicely browned toast.
“What?” the two of them said in near unison. He could see the shock on their faces.
“I need thirty thousand dollars,” Mark explained. “And Mr. Gaines always cheered me on at football games and even came to see me ride in the rodeo.”
“He was a fan, all right,” his father said slowly. “But thirty thousand is a lot of money. You know he’ll never take the ranch as collateral since it’s already put up for the money we borrowed a year ago to—”
Mark appreciated his father’s reluctance to cite the bill, but it wasn’t a secret to anyone. “I know what you did to pay my costs at the nursing home, but I need a loan. I have nothing else. Well, there is my pickup, but it won’t bring in more than a couple of thousand. And I suppose I could sell my rodeo trophies and get a few hundred.”
“You’ve been giving this some thought,” his father said. “Does this mean you’re considering leaving us?”
“No,” Mark said, surprised at the look of worry on his father’s face. “What makes you say that?”
“What else would you need that much money for?” the other man answered.
Mark could see he wouldn’t escape the conversation without telling them everything, and really there was no need to keep his family in the dark.
“Jeremy has some special kind of leukemia and he needs a new medical treatment,” Mark said. “Hannah and I took him to the doctor yesterday and—” He spread his hands. He’d never felt more helpless. “Without the treatment, the boy will likely lose his right leg.”
Mark couldn’t bear to mention that his son might even die.
“Oh!” Their cries of distress came together.
“I can’t let that happen,” Mark said.
“Of course not,” his sister said, and his father nodded emphatically. Mark knew they both loved the boy.
“Hannah and I have talked,” Mark continued. “We feel we need to provide our son with the best care we can—Jeremy deserves that. So I’m going to be asking Mr. Gaines to loan me part of the money, at least.”
And then the questions started. Mark could only pull out the flyer that the doctor had given him after Hannah and Jeremy left the office yesterday.
“This explains it,” Mark said.
He let them both read the fact sheet for a few minutes before he made his announcement. “I told the doctor I’d have the money for him by Monday morning. He said there’s a window of opportunity to do the procedure and the soonest he can do the work is Wednesday. He said he’d put the order in for what he needs late Monday so it will get to him in time.”
“But what happens if you don’t have the money?” his father asked.
“Then the doctor won’t do the stem cell treatment,” Mark said. “He’ll start the standard procedure instead. That goes on for a while.”
“Is there something wrong with that?” Allie asked. “Just going with the usual thing.”
“Ninety-five percent of the time the standard treatment ends with amputation,” Mark said. “This is a special rare kind of cancer and the chemo doesn’t seem to stop it in most cases.”
Allie gasped. “No.”
“They’ll try chemo and radiation, of course, but if they don’t work—and as I said, likely it won’t—the situation gets worse, and then sometimes even amputation isn’t enough.”
“Then what happens?” Allie asked.
“He—” Mark still couldn’t say the words, but he could see Allie figuring it out.
“No,” she shook her head. “He can’t die. He’s too young.”
“Young children die all the time,” Mark said.
Everyone was speechless and then Allie started.
“We have about three thousand dollars in the ranch account,” she said. “Three hundred in our Christmas account. And Clay and I could kick in our furniture money. That’s all we haven’t spent. It’s about two thousand and you’re welcome to it. We can get along without a new sofa. We might be able to sell one of the colts, but we won’t have the money by Monday.”
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