“Hell no,” Kelsey was quick to say, “I actually need to get some work done today. It’s almost Thanksgiving break, you know, and after that a bunch of papers are due, and then exams…ugh, who thought college was a good idea?”
We both grabbed our bags. “No one, but I hear employers want degrees these days.”
“Yeah,” she scoffed, “they require them, and then they’ll pay us minimum wage like the greedy fucks they are.” She was the first out of the bathroom, and I followed her. Might’ve given a group of girls who stood near the apparel shop something to talk about, but hey, if Kelsey didn’t care, I didn’t care.
I was done caring about anything other than her.
“Don’t forget about the part-time positions,” I said, walking with her to the front doors of the union. The sky was grey above me, but I couldn’t care less, because inside the sun was shining, and I was as happy as I could fucking be.
“The fuckers,” Kelsey muttered. She shot me a look, her eyes falling to my feet and sluggishly making their way up, as if she had to check me out one last time. If we weren’t together, she wouldn’t see me until our next bio lab. “I’ll see you around, Blue.” And then, with her fingers hooked in her bag’s straps, she walked away, pep in her step that drew my gaze to her round, full ass.
I always did love watching her walk away.
Since I had nothing to do, I went back to the house. Took my time in walking there, and I probably grinned like an idiot the whole walk back. It was strange, almost, being so happy. Being content. I knew what we did didn’t mean we were together again, but it meant it was possible. It meant she was willing.
It meant she cared about me as much as I cared about her.
As I stepped into the house, I remembered her calling me Blue. The only thing better than that was hearing her moans while I was inside of her.
Dean was in the process of walking out the door, a duffel bag over his shoulder, the moment I came in. He took a giant step back, giving me a wide girth as I came in and headed for the stairs—probably because his face still looked like shit. The bruises were slowly healing, but I’d gotten him good.
No. I wasn’t going to give that bastard the time of day.
Of course, looking back now, I should’ve known better. That one always had to make everything about him.
Chapter Ten – Kelsey
Writing papers was never my jam. During high school, I always skated by on mostly Cs, with a few Bs sprinkled in. Very rarely did I ever get As. A D every now and then…but that’s where my parents drew the line and suddenly cared about my grades. They’d be happy with Cs, so that’s what I strived for.
Probably not the best mindset, but eh, it worked.
Ash was smart. She aced her tests and her papers without even trying. Its why my application to Hillcrest was one of the first ones to be rejected. We’d both signed up just for kicks, neither one of us actually thinking Hillcrest would choose us. We were wrong, of course.
I stared at the computer screen, at the word document that I’d opened when I’d arrived. I had a few different tabs open on the internet, trying to find good scholarly articles to use. Scholarly articles were the bane of my freaking existence. For real.
Well, maybe homework in general.
Time crawled by slowly as I did my research like a good student. Outlining and creating a works cited page were also two things I hated, along with actually writing the paper. The only part of it that I enjoyed was when I turned it in and officially washed my hands of it.
Literally, there was nothing about school that I enjoyed. It was basically work that you had to pay for. I mean, how fucked up was that? It wasn’t like I’d really use my newfound knowledge of algae and microorganisms in the real world. So stupid.
My phone vibrated, and I checked the sender of the message with a quick glance. Levi.
Jesus Christ. I’d told him what we did didn’t mean we were together. Why the hell was he texting me, especially so damn soon? Have some chill, bro.
I didn’t look at the message, refocusing on my paper. I cracked my knuckles, finger by finger, something which my mom hated—which, to be frank, was why I did it so much—and got to work on the intro paragraph.
I hated how these things followed set rules. An introductory paragraph ending with your three-pronged thesis—which was basically the rest of your paper compounded into one long, run-on sentence. Then three separate paragraphs explaining each bullet point in your thesis. And, of course, some teachers wanted you to throw in another paragraph after that with a counterargument and a counter to the counterargument. Then the conclusion.
Like, bitch. Come on. These days, who had time to care about shit like that? Writing papers like this was just a hassle, made even worse by the fact I didn’t have my own laptop.
Hmm. With Ash mad at me, there was no point in lounging around at home during breaks. Maybe I’d try to find a part-time job and save up. It would certainly help me avoid dwelling on my parents splitting up.
Eh, something I’d think about later.
My fingers typed away, pulling shit from my ass, and I was about halfway through my intro paragraph when my phone went off again. This time, it was a constant vibration, and since it sat on the desk near me, its buzzing rang through the air, alerting everyone around me. I received a few dirty looks and quickly grabbed for my phone again, turning the vibrator off.
Like, dude. Take a chill pill. I told him I needed time, and just because we fucked in the union didn’t mean I was ready to make any decision. It just meant I was weak for his dick. And his face. And his eyes.
Oh, God, those eyes…
No. My phone was going on silent, and it was going in my bag. Couldn’t see his temptation when it wasn’t in front of me. This bitch of a paper was going to get done tonight.
All of my brain cells went to finishing the first draft of this paper. I’d print it off, save it to my Google Drive, and have Mel go over it, marking down whatever she thought I should fix or work on. She was kind of like Ash in that respect, good at knowing what professors and teachers looked for when grading. I, unfortunately, did not receive that power when I busted out of my mother’s womb.
I was there, writing that dumb paper, for a few hours. Since the time had changed, and most of America had fallen an hour back, it now got dark extremely early. It’d be pitch freaking black by the time I wrapped things up here, which sucked. Nothing like the world being ready for nighttime when it was literally only six-thirty.
So stupid. If you asked me, they should just do away with the stupid time change. It just confused everyone, threw everyone off for a few weeks, made everyone complain about the early darkness. And then, in the springtime, we lost an hour and were miserable again.
Yeah, why not just stop doing it altogether?
Sometime during the counterargument paragraphs I’d tied my hair back. It was a mess after that session in the bathroom with Levi, not that I cared much. It was usually a rat’s nest anyways.
God, Levi was…impossible to resist, really. To say I was helpless when faced with him would be the year’s biggest understatement. I’d crawl to that man if I had to, and I was so not the type to crawl for anything or anyone.
Levi made me think things I never would’ve in any other situation. I was hopelessly, madly, desperately in love with him, but of course I would somehow pick the one guy I couldn’t just waltz around and be happy with. No, I had to go and find the one guy on this campus that had a shitty history with Mel, a guy who did some really awful things to her on purpose.
What kind of a friend did that make me?
A horny one. It made me a horny friend who would do anything to get laid by that thick cock and have his muscular body against mine.
Oh, yeah. I had it bad.
A sigh left me as I finished the paper and hit the print button. After I saved it to my Drive and logged off the computer, I went to pick it up, shoving it in my backpack before zipping it up and reaching for my phone,
which I’d so unceremoniously shoved into the side pocket.
I began heading to the steps on the side of the library, checking my phone as I went. The moment I unlocked the screen, my heart stopped. I had almost a dozen missed calls from Levi, along with a bunch of texts.
What the fuck was going on now?
This wasn’t something a boy crazy about a girl would do. This was emergency level shit. Like, the world had just ended while I was stuck inside the library studiously working on my paper. This was how Ash’s phone probably looked after that night—not that I should ever compare that night to anything.
I didn’t know whether to listen to my voicemail first or read the text messages first. Halfway down the stairs, I decided on the text messages first, to get to the gist of it quickly. The last message he’d sent read: I’m in the library. Where are you?
My nose wrinkled as I finished the steps, rounding the corner to the first floor. He’d sent it literally a minute ago. Damn. This boy had been trying to reach me for the last two hours straight. What the hell was going on?
“Kelsey,” Levi’s rough voice called my name, snapping me out of my funk. His voice was the only sound in the lower level of the library, and the people working behind the front counter sent us both harsh looks.
Yes, how dare we speak in the lobby. Ugh. Cue eye roll.
“What’s going on?” I hissed as Levi grabbed my arm and dragged me outside, past the glaring people and out into the dark world of night. My eyes glanced back down to my phone, and I only caught a few keywords as I scanned the texts. Something about Dean being a dick, a video? What…
Didn’t we go through this a while ago? Guess what they said was true: old dogs couldn’t learn new tricks. If that fucker thought he was getting back at me for the kidney punch by releasing the video of me again, he had another thing coming.
He was slow to release his hold on my arm. Levi appeared strained, his eyes narrowed just a bit, their blueness holding a certain type of anxiety I couldn’t place. “I needed to talk to you, to tell you that I had nothing to do with it. I wasn’t going to sit back again and let shit fall when we’d just started to—”
My eyes read the first text he’d sent me, and I had to read it three times before it sunk in. Oh…oh, fuck.
“I have to go,” I said, my heart in my throat for the worst possible reason.
“Kelsey, I—”
I said nothing, taking off in a run. Now would be a good time for me to whip out a skateboard and skate my way across campus, making the journey a lot faster. Alas, I was not that well-balanced. It took everything in me to ignore Levi and his shouting as I ran as fast as I could through campus, heading to the dorm. I nearly tripped myself on the sidewalk when I opened up a new message and sent it to Mel.
Please, respond. Please, please, please.
She didn’t.
Shit.
I called her, and the call went straight to voicemail, which either meant her phone was off or it was broken. Either way, not good. Either way, I had to get back to the dorm as fast as possible to make sure she was okay.
That fucktard Dean didn’t release the same video of me guzzling down Levi’s cum like some greedy cumslut. No, apparently he had one of Mel and Levi, and he personally sent it to all of his contacts, along with posting it on every single site he was on. And his email contacts, too. Who the fuck used email nowadays?
Ah, that was beside the point. I just had to get back.
I had to make sure she was okay.
She had to be alright. She blocked Dean’s number. She wouldn’t get a text from him. Maybe I was overexaggerating and she didn’t see it. She’d once told me she wasn’t friends with anyone on campus, so she wouldn’t see it on any of the sites.
Maybe that was just me wishing. I guessed I’d find out soon enough.
My feet took me at a rapid pace throughout campus, practically flinging me through the darkness like some Olympic sprinter. I could barely breathe by the time I was back at the dorm—I’d also had to slow my pace about halfway through campus. I wasn’t the most athletic girl around. Me and gym class never really got along. I was so out of shape it wasn’t funny.
I hit the button between the elevators, and watched to see which one was coming down. I stood before the door, pushing past the students that were on the elevator before they had the chance to get out once the door opened. I hit three, and when another student called for me to hold the elevator, I didn’t.
Couldn’t waste any more time than I already did, sitting in that library, trying to actually be a good student and do my work.
Nothing good ever came from trying, apparently. Nothing but shit.
Shit, shit, and more shit.
Man, I would’ve sworn the elevator freaking stopped time. From the moment I got on to the moment it finally opened on the third floor, it felt like eons. Years had gone by in that elevator, aging my soul. Still out of breath, I sprinted to our room as fast as I could.
Didn’t know why, but I couldn’t shake the uneasy, ominous feeling dwelling in my gut. It was like, deep down, I knew something wasn’t right.
She couldn’t handle this. She wasn’t strong. Mel had been teetering on the edge of despair this whole time, and I’d been too wrapped up in myself and my own problems to pay attention to her, to be a good friend, like I should’ve been.
I tried the knob, but it was locked and—
Wait a damned second. I had the key to this fucking lock.
I dug the key out of my hoodie’s pocket, trying to hurry the fuck up as I struggled to fit the key into the lock. If there was someone you could count on under pressure, it sure as shit wasn’t me.
It took me about a dozen tries, but finally the key slid into the lock and I was able to turn the handle and push inside. If there was one time when I really didn’t want to be right, it was now. If there was one day when I really wished I could press the rewind button and redo, it was today.
Mel was on the floor between the two beds, her limbs splayed out awkwardly around her, as if she’d been sitting on the side of her bed and had fallen off. Her head was tilted to the side, her eyes closed. Her skin, which was already pale as ash, looked ghostly now.
“No,” I whispered, running to her. I threw my bag aside as I dashed to her still frame, dropping to my knees beside her. “No, no, no. Mel, are you in there?” I shook her shoulders, kneeling over her, but the only movement in her body was from me. I lowered my head to her face, putting my ear near her nose.
It was faint, but I felt a teeny, weeny breath on my ear.
Still alive. Still alive, thank God.
“What the fuck did you do, Mel?” I asked an unconscious girl as I grabbed my phone out of my back pocket. Before I could call an ambulance, I spotted an orange bottle that had rolled under her bed.
Pills.
Fuck. Where the hell did she even get those? No, now wasn’t the time to wonder about that. Now was the time to freak the fuck out until I knew she’d be okay, until I knew this wasn’t going to be the last night of Mel’s life.
My own breathing came up short, erratic; it was like I couldn’t get enough air in my lungs as I stared down at her motionless body. Her chest barely moved when she breathed; I didn’t know how much time she had left.
I dialed my phone, and once the dispatcher answered and asked me what my emergency was, I said, “I just came home and found my roommate unresponsive. I think she took pills. I don’t…I don’t know.” My hand shook so hard I could barely hold the phone near my ear.
This was not how I imagined spending my night.
This was not ever something I wanted to do.
This was…it was fucking terrible.
“What’s your address?”
“Uh, I’m not sure, but we’re in SCC, in Kemper,” I rattled off the dorm building’s name, hoping she’d be able to find it. After I told her the room number, I asked, “How long until someone gets here?”
“Less than ten minutes. Dispatch has alrea
dy been notified,” the dispatcher spoke, pausing before he added, “Stay on the line with me until they get there, okay?”
“Okay,” I muttered, wondering if I should do more. Should I stick a hand down Mel’s throat and make her throw up? Would her gag reflex even be there since she was passed out? I had no idea. I didn’t know these things. I wasn’t prepared for this.
Was this how she tried to kill herself last time, pills? Where the fuck did she even get them?
Pinning the phone against my ear with my shoulder, I moved around Mel and bent to reach the container under her bed. When I pulled it out, I saw that it was her name on the prescription—some long-ass drug name I couldn’t hope to pronounce—and that the prescription needed to be refilled every month…but, judging from how many refills there still were and when the prescription was given, I doubted she’d ever gotten them refilled at all. Maybe once, but didn’t doctors usually force you to meet with them at least every year before refilling the prescription?
I didn’t know. I didn’t have problems like that. I didn’t know how these things worked, or why Mel had kept something like this from me. Not once in all of the time I’d lived with her had I seen her take any pills, and not once did I hear the jingle of pills in a bottle.
Was she trying to be better by herself? Was she trying to fight to live on her own terms? Stupid. Everyone needed help once in a while, and some people needed to take pills. It didn’t mean they were less of a person than others; it’s just how things were.
“Mel,” I whispered to her, setting the pill bottle on her nightstand, right in front of her TV, “what did you do?”
My heart damn well stopped when I watched her lids crack open, her gaze glassy and hazy. Her lips were dry and cracked, but she still managed to whisper, “It’s my fault.”
“What?” I leaned over her, shaking my head. “No, no, it’s not your fault.” I knew though nothing I could say would convince this girl otherwise. She had it in her head that everything bad that had happened to her was her fault, that everything with me was her fault. People like her…I didn’t think you could ever convince them that they were wrong, to not put the weight of the world on their shoulders.
Making Mistakes: A College Bully Romance (Playing Games Book 2) Page 9