by Voss, Deja
“I don’t know how much more of this I can take,” I said. “I feel like I’ve been playing whack-a-mole for the last fifteen years and it’s not getting any better. And now, this whole thing? What can I do? If it’s not illegal, I can’t make it stop.”
He drained the pot into the strainer in the sink, and in that instant my heart swelled with love for him. This man had spent his whole life fighting the dark in the world by my side, and here he was, perfectly well adjusted, perfectly calm, making me a simple meal like I was telling him about an argument I had with a coworker at the local shoe store. He was perfect. He was the light, and I gravitated toward him.
“You’re smart, Sage. If something insidious is going on, you’re going to figure it out.”
“They’re having a party tomorrow. It’s a meet and greet with Fawn.”
He frowned as he dumped the noodles back into the pot. “So they can see her while she’s still ‘alive?’” he asked. “God, that’s fucking morbid.”
“Right?” I asked. I wrapped my arms around him and grabbed the big wooden spoon, pressing myself into him as he added the butter and the milk and I stirred. Like a normal couple who hadn’t seen each other after a long day at the office. Like it was the most natural thing in the world and we did this every day. At least, it felt that way. “I have to rub elbows with some of the sickest fuckers on the planet tomorrow.”
“To be fair, it’ll be a great opportunity to do recon. I’m sure if anything nefarious is going down, one of those rich fucks is gonna run their mouth. Kind of sounds exciting.”
I dropped the spoon and turned him around to pull him in for a kiss. “Don’t get any ideas, sweet Law,” I said, pecking him on the lips. “You’re not coming. I’m not letting the dark pervert my light.”
“Awe come on Sage, I’m already perverted,” he teased, resting his forehead against mine.
“I mean it,” I pleaded. I didn’t want to ruin this moment by telling him I had to spend the night dressed up like Sabine. I knew he was going to lose his shit. I couldn’t imagine what kind of outfit Kevin was going to pick out for me, but I was certain it was something utterly humiliating. “Your brothers will be there running security. I just, please let me do this? On my own?”
He sighed as he leaned into me, hugging me tighter than before.
“Let me have this one last thing,” I said.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” He spoke like I caught him off guard, like what I was saying was completely out of left field.
“It means, I am entertaining new options for the future,” I said. It was easier to put it that way than to say I was quitting or retiring. I felt a tear start to run down my face.
“You don’t have to,” he said. “You know I’d never ask that of you.”
“Will you still love me if I quit?” I asked. Could he love me if I admitted that for once in my life I wanted to feel safe and secure? I wanted to stay in one place longer than a few months. I wanted to not feel lonely everywhere I went, even if I was surrounded by people. I wanted to know what it felt like to have a pet or buy a couch or not have to pretend like I could stomach half the weirdos I was forced to interact with on a day to day basis.
“I quit,” he said with a shrug. “How do you feel about me?”
I hugged him tight and breathed out a sigh of relief. “I’ll admit, at first I hated you,” I said. “I hated that you left me.”
“And I’ll admit, that was the goal. I quit because I wanted as far away from you as I could get. I couldn’t watch you destroy yourself for this business anymore. The things you were doing for the sake of the job? I couldn’t pretend like that shit didn’t rip me to pieces. Anytime we went on a mission together I knew I was putting everyone in danger because I couldn’t keep my composure anymore. I was so fucking torn when you wouldn’t just pick me. Why you had to keep pursuing this bullshit, but then I realized, you’re so much better than me. You were always in it for the right reason. You wanted to save the world. I just wanted to be near you.”
My heart felt heavy with his admission. I never doubted his ability to be my partner. I couldn’t imagine what he had to go through acting like he always had his shit together while I fell apart in front of him. How he was always strong for me, even when I couldn’t offer the same thing to him.
“I have a confession to make, too,” I said.
“I don’t know how many more of your confessions I can handle, Sage,” he said, resting his forehead on mine. “I’m not a young buck anymore. Last one you made damn near sent me into cardiac arrest.”
I laughed nervously. I guess I did drop a huge bombshell on him out of nowhere after our last little tryst. This one wasn’t going to send him into cardiac arrest, I was afraid. It might break his heart, though. Even thinking about it broke mine.
“Do you remember my hell day? I know it was a long time ago.” Hell day was basically something we had to endure to graduate from training. It was twenty four hours of nothing short of torture. We were separated, stripped, starved, interrogated, tortured, pumped with drugs and left fearing for our lives.
“I remember it clearly, because it was so weird,” he said. “It was the only time I ever really saw you doubt yourself. You were a mess when you got back. I mean, rightly so, it really was pure hell. The worst I’d ever endured.”
“I gave you up,” I said, instantly growing sick to my stomach. “They were going to rape me, Law, I knew it. They told me the only way to make it stop was to give up my partner’s name. So I did.” I burst into tears and waited for him to get mad. I’d been holding this moment inside for so long, building it up in my mind, I expected the very worst. “I always pushed you away because I knew in my heart I didn’t deserve you. When times got rough, I threw you under the bus. That’s not fair to you. I was the one who dragged you into this agency, and I fucking put you in danger.”
To my surprise, he hugged me tighter as I sobbed into his shoulder.
His tone was calm and his embrace didn’t relent. “I know,” he said. “I’ve always known.”
“What?” I pulled away from him, barely able to look him in the eye.
“How do you think you still ended up passing? That night when you were asleep, they came to me. They showed me the footage. They asked me if I would still trust you as a partner knowing that you cracked under pressure. I told them yes.”
“Landon,” I whispered, barely able to find my voice. “Why?”
“Because I did trust you as a partner. I’ve always trusted you. Even the strongest people have their breaking points. All the times you let me inside you, Sage, knowing that you trusted me with your body and that you held it sacred made me realize how much I loved you. Your body was your breaking point, and you’d already given it to me. I didn’t have any other choice but to sign off. I knew if I didn’t agree to go all in with you, you’d never speak to me again.”
“That’s what you thought?” I stammered.
“We were young. We were dumb,” he said with a shrug.
“Now we’re just older. And I still feel really fucking dumb,” I said. And yet, everything we’d been through together suddenly felt that much important, that much more powerful. The fact that we were meant to be together from that very first day we were locked up in the dark room, all the missions, all the adventures, all the push and pull, we had to endure it all or I would’ve never been standing here in his kitchen, stirring that macaroni. We would’ve just been two passing ships in the night.
“You’re the smartest woman I know,” he said, taking my chin in his hand. He kissed me on the lips and it was like he was kissing me for the first time. Electricity surged through my veins as he slid his tongue in my mouth. “and the sexiest woman I know.”
He pressed his lips behind my ear and my back arched as a moan escaped my lips.
“I’d do it all over again if it meant I got to have you for a night,” he said, his hands lifting up the hem of my t-shirt. He dragged his callused fingertips up my s
tomach, and I was instantly covered in goosebumps. “And now that everything is on the table, I want to make love to you proper, Sage Smith.”
He picked me up by my hips and lifted me up onto the countertop, and I didn’t put up a fight at all. He pulled my shirt off, and unclasped my bra as he kissed down my neck, my pussy growing slicker as his mouth moved downwards.
His tongue explored my nipples, pulling them into hardened peaks and I reached for his shirt, pulling it off over his head, his corded tattooed chest smattered with that thin layer of hair I loved to run my fingers through. His abs that I loved to run my tongue down. His powerful arms that held my wrists to the countertop as he slid my pants down and pulled my drenched panties off to the side and slid a finger inside of me.
He unzipped his pants, and pulled them down, fisting his already rock hard cock, a bead of precum oozing from the tip as I licked my lips. As he lined his cock up with me, I longed for that familiar stretch, that powerful thrust that made me feel so close to him. He didn’t hesitate, quickly thrusting his way inside of me as my walls contracted around him, milking him as he lingered for a minute, gripping my ass, holding me as close to him as possible.
I stared into his eyes, and it was the purest feeling of love I’d ever known. He thrusted gently in and out, his fingers reaching for my clit, strumming it just so as my back arched. I gripped the countertop as I leaned in to the explosive orgasm ripping through my body.
His mouth found mine, and I was thankful, as I didn’t want him to see the tears rolling down my face. I didn’t want him to think in any way shape or form he was hurting me or making me sad. These weren’t tears of sorrow. They were tears of contentment. Tears of completion. Tears of freedom.
He grunted as he came inside me, filling me with his warmth. As he lingered between my legs, hugging me tightly, I knew this was it. This was real. This was exactly what I’d been looking for my whole life.
He rested his head on my shoulder and let out a contented sigh. We just hung there, wordless, as he softened inside of me, no need to fill this precious moment with anything but the beating of our hearts.
My faith in humanity restored, my stomach began to growl, and he started to laugh.
“I promise if you stick around, I’ll always keep you well fucked and well fed,” he teased. “Just gotta figure out the right order.”
I reached for the wooden spoon and shoveled a heap of room temperature macaroni in my mouth. “I can multitask,” I teased.
Chapter Twenty-Six
“I don’t remember the last time I got to wake up next to you,” I whispered as the alarm went off on my phone. We didn’t really do much sleeping last night. It was more of a drifting in and out, enjoying each others’ naked bodies, seeing who could squeeze each other the tightest because we both knew this night had to come to an end eventually kind of slumber. I’d stay up all night every night if it meant I got to stare into his eyes and shut out the rest of the world.
“You really don’t?” he asked.
“Clearly, I do,” I said, running my fingers down his perfect bicep. It was about two years ago. We’d just finished up a mission and we were both so exhausted, we literally did nothing but sleep. “It was at the Four Seasons.”
“Well, I know this house isn’t the Four Seasons,” he said, pulling me close to him, his lips pressing into my shoulder.
“It’s better,” I said. Tootsie popped her head up at the sound of our voices and rested it on the pillow next to me while she stood there. God, she was a giant beast. She slobbered right in my face and I laughed as I reached out to pet her. “I mean, you have a fireplace, and a dog, what more could I ask for?”
It really was the perfect spot. Far enough away from town that there was hardly any traffic, but close enough that you could be anywhere in a matter of fifteen minutes. There was plenty of room on his ten acres for a garden, a place to hang our laundry, a hot tub, maybe a little chicken coop or a pen for goats, the options were endless. I didn’t need any of that, but the fact that I was even entertaining the idea of settling down here said a lot.
I wasn’t just entertaining the idea.
In the hours of tossing and turning, I realized this needed to be my new reality.
“It is pretty perfect,” he said. “Only thing missing is your clothes hanging next to mine in that closet.
“Careful what you wish for,” I teased, squirming up against his hard chest. “You might need a bigger closet.
“I’ll build a whole damn addition on the house for you, Sage, if it meant I’d get to do this more than once every few years.”
“You are making it really hard for me to get up out of this nice warm bed. Can we just fast forward to the end of this mission and go from there?”
“No way,” he said, pinching at my nipple teasingly. “I’m not going to let you resent me for the rest of your life because I didn’t give you a chance to sort this one out. When you’re done, though, I assure you I have plenty of ways to make sure you don’t leave this bed for a long time.” He grabbed my wrist and held it up to the wooden bedpost and winked. “I’ll have to dig my handcuffs out of storage, obviously.”
“Don’t worry,” I said, sliding out of his grip and pouncing on top of him, “I have my own.”
“How’d I get so lucky,” he asked, planting a kiss right on my lips.
“Luck, persistence, a fifteen year bout of insanity, we don’t need to put words on this, do we?”
“Oh, I’ve got a couple words for you. Old Lady,” he said, smiling as he winced, waiting for me to slap him.
“It’s got a certain ring to it. I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, you know.” I’d gladly be his old lady, his girlfriend, his woman, his wife, his sex slave, his lover. We were never able to put words on what we had, because up until now, it didn’t really fit into a neat and tidy box.
Maybe it still didn’t, but soon.
“I gotta get this day going,” I groaned, rolling off of him and stretching before jumping out of bed. I walked towards the bathroom, the hardwood floors cool under my feet.
“Fuck the closet full of clothes,” he muttered. “I think I’d prefer you just wore that. Never gonna get sick of that sight.”
I felt my naked body blushing. “You’re not so bad yourself, there Law.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Sage:
“Did you ladies have fun last night?” Kevin asked with a raised eyebrow as Athena and I walked into the kitchen of the mansion. I squeezed her hand to thank her for covering for me. She called Kevin late night and told him I drank so much I passed out and I wasn’t coming back until the morning. As much as I hated her being in on this little secret, I appreciated her help.
Last night was just what I needed to get my head back on straight and finish my investigation. Now I needed to brace myself to come face to face with the very monsters I was running away from yesterday. This was going to be my chance to meet the kind of people who were trying to buy the kind of stuff Kevin was selling, and I was certain at least a few of them needed to go on the agency’s radar.
There were men moving furniture around. Someone was assembling a stage in the middle of the living room. Women in chefs’ coats were setting up a buffet table with chafing dishes and glassware. To the outside world it would’ve appeared we were hosting a wedding reception.
“I don’t know,” I said, laughing uneasily. “I don’t remember much of anything after the twelfth shot of vodka. My headache is telling me never to do that again, though.”
“What is all this?” Athena asked as a man rolled in a cart with cases and cases of champagne stacked high on it. “Somebody getting married?”
“Private party tonight,” Kevin said.
Fawn came walking down the steps dressed in a long white gown with huge slits running up the thighs that showed off her curvy legs. “Is this going to be alright?” she asked, doing turns in the kitchen. She looked beautiful, but I still didn’t have words for her. Seeing he
r standing there was like seeing a ghost. Knowing the purpose of this party put me even further on edge.
“It’s perfect,” Kevin said, sizing her up from head to toe.
“She getting married tonight?” Athena asked.
I didn’t have the guts to tell Athena that tonight’s party was so that potential viewers could get to know the talent up close and personal before coughing up big bucks to watch her get slaughtered on camera.
“No, silly,” Fawn said, spinning around in circles as the hems of the dress splayed open, showing off her matching white thong.
“Well what time does this shindig start? I don’t think I’m gonna have time to get into my hairdresser,” Athena said, grabbing a cherry tomato off a tray of vegetables and popping it into her mouth.
“Not your kind of party,” I said, trying to be as kind as possible. I probably should’ve briefed her before she brought me over here, but I was afraid to let her in on any information that could hurt my investigation. I could trust her with pretty much anything, but keeping her mouth shut about what was going on under this roof right now was not one of those things. “I’m not even planning on being here.”
“Hm,” she said, pursing her lips. I grabbed her hand under the table and squeezed it, hoping she’d get the picture. She didn’t need to be here. Lyndsay wasn’t going to be here. Sabine was making a brief appearance to gather intel and then me and my happy little band of multiple personalties were locking ourselves in my bedroom and shipping everything I discovered off to the agency to let them sort it out.
“Besides, the guys are going to be here tonight running security. Who’s gonna take care of Harley?” I asked.
“You’re right,” she said. “This is definitely not my scene. Who wants to put on a fancy dress and sip champagne all night anyway?” she asked. I could sense the sarcasm in her voice.
“Thanks for dropping me off,” I said. “I’ll call you tonight? Maybe we can watch movies together or something?”