by D E Boske
“I do, but I no longer know how I feel about him. I cannot think of him without intense emotion washing over me and I don’t like it. I think of everything he’s ever done and it makes me hate him. I want nothing more to do with him and yet I crave his presence. I am hopeless. He has not even tried to see me in a while and I fear he has given up and found someone else. Maybe it’s for the best. All we ever seem to do is torture each other and cause each other so much pain.”
“For what it’s worth, he really loves you and is trying to make it right with you. But you are also right in fearing that he will move on. Eventually, he will. He will grow tired of waiting around. I know he says otherwise, but…” he trailed off. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”
“It’s okay, Tireniel. That’s one of the things I love about you. You are always honest with me even when you know you may hurt my feelings.” She stopped and took his other hand in hers. They stood there for long moments before they began walking once more. Tireniel walked her to her door and made sure she was safely inside before he returned to his room.
﴾﴿ ﴾﴿ ﴾﴿
Kyler’s dreams had been dark of late and he was no longer sure what was happening to him. He’d sent Nephraete away and probably into the Mage’s arms. He had not felt like himself in so long now he was no longer sure who he was. He’d lost his best friend and his lover and he still did not understand why. Why had he been so upset in the first place?
He’d always trusted the Mage’s judgment, why had he stopped? Darian never questioned him about his skills and abilities. It was not fair that he’d been doing exactly that to Darian. He should go to him and talk to him. But no, he dare not. Not after the way he’d been acting. The Mage would never see him.
The attack on the Mage and the death of the maidens taking care of his mother was more than perplexing. They had not found who was at the root of it either. Whoever it was, they were good at what they did. He could not help but wonder if it was Shaz or the thief Mordinian. It didn’t seem like the thief’s style. They did not generally kill, usually only if they got caught in the act. Mordinian was damn good at what he did, Kyler could tell. He walked with cat-like grace, making no sounds when he moved. He was a master thief. Why was he here? Why had The Order chosen a thief to find a rogue Mage? So many questions and no answers makes a grumpy elf.
He remembered a time in the not so distant past when he and the Mage were friends. They shared many a bottle of Nykessa and had many laughs. They traded stories and songs. He missed him, but he knew Darian would not want to talk to him ever again. He could not blame him after the way he’d acted.
He missed Nephraete and her ready smiles. He wanted her back. He missed her so much. What had he done? He’d been so angry about her supporting Darian that the words just came tumbling out. After he said them, he couldn’t take them back. He really needed her counsel. Maybe Calisha knew where she was. Of course! He thought. She’s probably back in her old room. Where else would she go? He ignored the thought that she was with Darian this very second. She wasn’t like that. Not at all. He was almost out the door to find her, but he could not bring himself to do it. Not after the way he treated her. She’d come all this way to find him and he’d rejected her like her own people had. He was ashamed of his actions, but did not know how to begin to repair the damage he’d done.
He’d never felt so alone in his life and it scared him.
﴾﴿ ﴾﴿ ﴾﴿
In the morning, Darian did what he should have done from the beginning. As the seer rested, he removed his touch from her body, healing her completely and returned her to the state she first came to him in. Then he began to work on her mind. He stole her memories of them together. She would never remember that she’d been with him. He knew it was the right thing to do even as he fought with himself. He knew she was not right for him, she never had been. But damn the sex was amazing!
He needed Sigorna to unravel the wards around Kyler’s room and get things back to normal. He just had to figure out how he was going to make that happen. It took him about half an hour to forty minutes to finish his work on the seer. She was so beautiful, but she was not for him. She belonged with Kyler and he would make sure she would return to him. He felt certain once the wards were down, the elf would come back to himself. He wondered briefly if they had anything to do with the seer’s behavior. Hmmm, interesting, he thought. At least I got to experience her, he thought with a smile. He found himself missing Kizziah’s charms. Now she was a talented lover and he was craving her touch.
Nephraete stirred, opening her eyes slowly. When she saw where she was, she sat bolt upright in the bed.
“Darian! Am I where I think I am?”
“Yes, little seer. You are finally in my bed,” he said with a wicked grin that did things to her.
“You didn’t… that is, we didn’t…” she stammered, embarrassed.
“No, of course not,” he lied. “You came by very upset and we talked late into the night. Don’t you remember?”
“No, I mean, I’m not sure. I feel like I’ve been asleep for a long time.”
“We had much to drink. You were in a rare state, but I let you take my bed. You kinda’ passed out on me.”
“I’m sorry, Darian. I never should have come here,” she replied hastily.
“Why’s that? We are friends, are we not?” He asked, looking a bit hurt at her
words.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like it came out. I meant that Calisha will be worried about me.”
“He knows you are here, Nephraete, I told him. He is on his way now.”
“Thank you, Darian. And thank you for preserving my honor. I know it could not have been easy.”
“You have no idea,” he said with a lecherous grin. She felt heat flush her body at his words and the tone in which he spoke them. He was gorgeous and sexy and… She could not continue this train of thought because it would lead to her making love to him. That was crossing a definite line. Even though Kyler had broken it off with her, she felt certain that he would make it up to her. Somehow, she just knew.
So the attraction is still there, he thought with a smile. He felt her need as she looked at him. He wanted her, wanted to fill her needs as she cried out his name. A knock at his door broke both of their contemplations.
Kelindril came in with Calisha in tow. “Darian, Calisha said you were expecting him?”
“Yes Kel I am. He’s here for the seer.” The look in the Mage’s eyes told the Gor Li’ Khan not to say a word. He remained silent until they left, then his curiosity got the better of him.
“What gives, Darian? What’s going on?”
“I took her memory of me. She will not recall us ever being together.”
“Why?” he wasn’t sure if Darian would answer, but he did.
“Because we do not belong together. She is not for me and I am not for her. I never should have touched her to begin with. But the animal inside me would not back down. She threw herself at me and I hungrily took what she offered, but it doesn’t make it right. If Kyler found out, our friendship would be over. He would never forgive that indiscretion.”
“You make it look so easy,” the Gor Li’ Khan commented.
“What’s that?” asked the Mage.
“Picking up beautiful women.”
“It is easy, Kelindril.”
“A challenge then,” said the elf with a smile.
“What do you have in mind?” asked the Mage, intrigued.
“I do not believe that all women will fall before you Mage. There must be some who are immune to your charms.”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” the Mage said, laughing. “The only one to ever say no to me is Kylee.”
“Really? Kylee refused you?” Darian pounced on the offered information.
“Yes, she did. This pleases you because you like her,” Darian said slyly.
“I do not. I’ve sworn off women, remember?” said Kelindr
il.
“I hear what you say, but I do not believe you. I see the way you look at her, the barely concealed hunger. She likes you too. You should go for it, Kelindril.”
“So your charms are not infallible. I have a challenge for you, Mage, are you up for it?” Kelindril asked with a smile.
“Depends on what it is,” said the Mage guardedly.
“Oh relax. It involves you getting laid. You’ll enjoy yourself I’m sure.”
“I’m listening,” said Darian.
“We’re going to go for a walk. I want you to put your charms to the test. Pick an elf that you do not know and see if she will fall victim to your magnetism.”
“I thought you said this would be a challenge,” said the Mage with a lewd grin.
“Shit, you really can just turn it on and off, can’t you Darian?”
“I never turn it off, Kelindril. Never,” he said seriously.
They left the Mage’s chambers around midday and Nymdal accompanied them. They walked for about an hour and Darian ended up running into Tynuviel. His heart clenched at the sight of her. He told himself not to even bother speaking to her, to let her go without a thought. But something inside him would not give up the fight for her love.
“Good afternoon, Tynuviel,” he said in his sexy voice.
He looked so striking and before she knew what had happened, she was answering him. “Hi Darian. You look… good,” she said, as she flushed. Heat and warmth spreading through her body at his gaze.
“Thank you. You’re beautiful as always, Shan Ta’ Zi. I must go.” Without another word, he turned his back on her and kept walking.
She was left standing there, confused and with a hollow feeling in her middle. What the hell was that? She thought. Takasha! He has moved on. He doesn’t want me anymore, she thought, as a deep sadness filled her.
“What’d you do that for, Darian? I thought you wanted nothing more than to talk to her. She seemed more than willing.”
“She does not know what she wants right now. She told me she never wanted to see me again. I have tried too many times to make it right with her. Now, I must give her the time she needs to recover. If we are truly meant to be together, we will survive this. I do not want to cause her any more pain. I have caused her enough.”
Darian walked far away from his chambers and from Tynuviel’s. Under no circumstances did he want to get caught in the act. Kelindril admired the way the Mage moved. He walked with such self-assurance and confi-
dence. It was no small wonder that he picked up as many women as he did.
He spotted a delicious looking creature. She was sexy and beautiful. The two elves made a quick bet and watched the scene unfold before them. Then Darian did something that neither Kelindril nor Nymdal could believe he got away with. The Mage moved quietly up behind the elf he’d apparently chosen. His hands rested on her hips as he spoke quietly in her ear. She turned around and seemed about to slap the offending male. That is, until she saw who it was. A big smile spread across her face and she said something to the Mage that made him laugh. She was definitely flirting with him.
He took her in his arms and kissed her, his lips parting and his tongue finding hers. She put her slim right arm around his neck pulling him closer. Her left hand she slid lower to stroke him. He moaned into her mouth and deepened the kiss. She broke off contact with him and pulled him toward her home. Once the door closed behind them, Kelindril passed some gold to Nymdal.
“How the hell does he do that?” Kelindril asked, astounded.
“I don’t know, but damn that was good. He is good at what he does,” Nymdal said admiringly. They stayed out of sight, but close so they could protect the Mage if needed. The sounds coming from within told them it would be a long night.
﴾﴿ ﴾﴿ ﴾﴿
“I think he’s moved on, Tireniel. He seemed not to even notice me.”
“Tynuviel, I thought that’s what you wanted.”
“I don’t know what I want anymore. I just can’t believe that he finally gave up.”
“I’m sorry, Tynuviel. It’ll be okay. I’m here for you when you need to talk. I will help you get through this,” he said comfortingly.
“Let’s have a drink,” she said, retrieving a bottle of Nykessa.
After they had finished off two bottles, their inhibitions were vanishing like the late afternoon sun. “Thank you for always being there for me, Tireniel. You’re a good friend.”
“I would love to be so much more for you, Tynuviel,” he whispered.
In response, she kissed him softly. He smelled like the forest, mingled with his own personal scent. A tingle spread through her at the contact. She wanted more, needed more. It had been so long. She was filled with longing and desire and it was all a bit overwhelming. His tongue passed her lips and she welcomed his advances. She climbed into his lap, pressing herself as close to him as she could. She could feel him through their clothes and it excited her. She put her right hand on his chest, but as he kissed her, she let her hand slide down until he groaned when she touched him.
At once, images crashed through her brain like knives. She cried out in pain as much from the agonizing images as the actual grief it caused her. She was flung back into the dragon’s lair and violated until she bled from the brutality. Her eyes were wild and she had no idea where she was. She panicked and ran.
“Tynuviel!” Tireniel ran after her. There was no way he was leaving her to face this alone. He hadn’t meant
to kiss her, it was too soon. He berated himself for not maintaining control. This was definitely not what she needed right now. She needed a friend, not a lover.
He caught up to her and cautiously approached her. “Tynuviel, are you okay?” he asked tentatively.
“I’m sorry, Tireniel. You must think I’m a freak.”
“Not at all. Actually, I blame myself. I shouldn’t have kissed you. I’m sorry.”
“I kissed you first. No wonder why Darian doesn’t want me anymore. I’m flippin’ crazy,” she said sadly. “The minute I try to be intimate, this happens every time.”
“Tynuviel, you’ve been through a horrifying experience. You need time to process it so that you can overcome it. Maybe you should tell Darian. He might be able to help you,” Tireniel offered.
“Maybe,” she answered a little too eagerly. She’s still not over him, he thought.
“I will let you rest. We can talk more when you are up to it.” He kissed her forehead and left quietly.
She knew she’d hurt him. Takasha! What was going on with her? All these feelings she’d been having lately she did not understand. Her anger and hatred of Darian was not like her at all. With his distance, her love began to creep steadily back from wherever it had been hiding. She did not know precisely why she’d refused to see him. As angry as she still was with him, she wanted to hear what he had to say. She needed him to explain why he did what he did. But when he was close to her, her nerve endings were rubbed raw with his presence and she couldn’t stand to be near him. The very thought made her want to vomit.
﴾﴿ ﴾﴿ ﴾﴿
Darian left in the middle of the night. She was fully satisfied and deep in Ru Nay’ Sha. He made his way back to his chambers and The Gor Li’ Khan followed him, keeping an eye out for any threats.
“Damn Darian. How the hell do you do that?” asked Nymdal. The Mage merely smiled.
“I told you, they won’t say no to me.”
They walked the remainder of the way in silence. Darian collapsed in his bed. Thoughts of Tynuviel filled his mind as he drifted off. She’d spoken to him. She had initiated the conversation. Was that a step in the right direction? Was she beginning to forgive him? Did she still love him? All these questions plagued him and his dreams were of her.
In the morning he bathed and dressed. He decided he would try once more to see her. He needed to tell her about the ward inside of her. She must find a way to break its hold because he could not do it. If only he could. He would’
ve done it already. He brought her fresh lilacs and held his breath as he knocked. She opened the door and stood there stunned.
Takasha he looks good! She thought. He wore a deep blue shirt that set off his silvery grey eyes, and black pants that fit him too well. They showed every muscle in his legs and hugged his gorgeous ass; it sent a tingle through her body at the sight. A black leather belt with a silver buckle adorned his slender waist and he wore the black leather boots with the silver buckles.
“I’m sorry to bother you, Ty, but I really need to talk to you,” he said quietly. She hadn’t even realized how long she’d stood there gawking at him.
“Darian, please come in,” she said, standing aside.
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea, Ty. What I have to say can be said from out here,” he said guardedly. He could see that he hurt her, but he didn’t want to push her either. The last time they tried to go too fast, it was disastrous.
“Please Darian, come in just for a moment.” How could he say no to her? He loved her so much and she looked so beautiful! He followed her inside and she closed the door.
“Ty…” he began, but she cut him off.
“Please Darian, I have something that I need to talk to you about.”
“Alright Shan Ta’ Zi,” he said in that sexy voice of his. It made it hard for her to concentrate.
“Darian, I think there is something wrong with me.”
“What do you mean, Ty?” he asked worriedly, his grey eyes full of concern.
“I have not been myself around you or anyone else. I think I’m losing my mind. I… am distracted all the time. I keep seeing… visions of what happened to me. I feel anger, hatred, confusion, love…” she trailed off, looking into his eyes to gauge his reaction to her words.
His heart leaped, but he tried desperately not to get his hopes up. She was fractured and damaged. Maybe she would never recover.