Piper waved her hand over the smorgasbord of sweets on the counter: chocolate chip cookies, sugar-free iced cookies for Sonja, cupcakes with fluffy white icing and plastic turkeys on top, and marble cheesecake. I grabbed a plate and took one of everything before sprawling on the sofa. The girls followed, Sonja on the other end of the sofa, legs stretched out to an ottoman, while Piper wrapped herself up in a blanket on the floor, looking at me like a child on Christmas morning. “Tell us everything.”
I started from the beginning, not skimming over anything as if they didn’t already know most it. No detail was spared. Including our romps in his truck and bed. I didn’t think I’d enjoy hours of girl talk, but staying up until after two in the morning was cathartic. When Sonja finally asked, “What’s your endgame? What do you want out of this,” I held my hand over my mouth as I yawned.
“I want to be with Connor. I want him to want to be with me.”
Piper nodded. “I think he does.”
“Doesn’t act like it.”
“He might just need some time,” she said.
Maybe she was right, but I’d waited my whole life for men. I’d soothed and petted and cajoled. I hadn’t spent my days with collegiate male football coaches and not learned to have some patience. But I’d come to the point in my life when I wanted answers now. I wasn’t going to wait on or wait for men anymore. “I’m not going to twiddle my thumbs while he figures out what he wants. I’m done with that. I know that sounds kind of bitchy.”
“There’s nothing wrong with asking for what you want. If more women did that, we wouldn’t have to be afraid of sounding bitchy—whatever that even means.”
Piper high-fived Sonja. “Perfect advice. As usual.”
Sonja lifted one shoulder toward her ear with a shy smile that made me wonder what she asked for.
“Okay, kiddies, I’ve got to get home.” Piper rose and dropped the blanket on the floor.
“Hey, pick up after yourself. You don’t live here anymore. Mess up your own house.”
Piper stuck her tongue out at Sonja as she folded up the cream fleece blanket and put it on the sofa. “Blake isn’t so sassy when I make a mess.”
“That’s because of the sex.”
“True.”
We all laughed and hugged, and I went to bed knowing that even if Connor and I didn’t work out, I still had my friends to back me up.
Except I didn’t like them very much when I got a call at eight later that morning. Philander wanted me to meet him at the school in an hour. I thought it was odd, but in my sleep-deprived state I agreed and jumped out of bed to get dressed. I thought he might want to congratulate me on the season, but a bad feeling formed in my belly.
It only got worse when I got to the school. Normally on a Saturday the school was empty, but there were a handful of cars in the spots closest to the front door, including Connor’s truck. Using my key fob, I went inside and jogged down the hall toward the main office, sensing that I’d missed out on something.
I opened up the thick wooden door to the principal’s private office to find that I had missed something. Philander, Jim, Connor, and Jack Spencer were all there. And I was late to the party.
“Good morning,” I said, the hair on the back of my neck standing on end.
“Charlie, hello. Would you like to have a seat?”
Connor was already seated in one of the two chairs opposite Philander’s desk, eyes on the floor. I glanced at Jim in the corner, for once not smiling at me. My stomach, which had been in knots, bottomed out. Easing into the empty chair next to Connor, I caught Mr. Spencer’s gaze as he leaned against the wall to my right, and he smirked. I hated him. He had no reason to be in this office, acting as if he was on top of the world.
I looked to Philander, who sat back in his chair, totally relaxed, displaying who had the power here. Nothing about this scenario reassured me.
“What’s goin’ on?”
“I’m going to cut to the chase. We called you in today because we’re going to make some changes.” Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Connor move, but I ignored him, my focus solely on Philander. “You are not going to be coaching the football team next year.”
“What?” The one-word question came out of my mouth a whisper, but in my mind I screamed.
“We gave it a try, but it didn’t work out.”
“What do you mean?”
Spencer laughed, and I flipped around to him. “What did you do?”
“I didn’t do anything other than point out the obvious. You couldn’t finish out the season.”
“This is absurd!” I stood up, my lungs heaving, my palms sweaty, tunnel vision closing in. “You hired me to coach, and you’re going to get rid of me after one season?”
Philander stood, his height easily taking over mine. “Yes.”
“And you’re goin’ to tell me it has nothing to do with me bein’ a woman.”
He shook his head. “It has nothing to do with you being a woman.”
“Then explain to me how you’re firing me when I led this team to a winning season after a decade of losing?”
“You don’t know what you’re doing,” Spencer cut in, and my nails bit into my palms to keep me from cursing him out.
Philander held his hand up to that fucker as he said, “You did well with the team, but not good enough. We need someone who will be able to bring a championship here. You did bring some good notoriety to the school—”
“So this really was just a publicity stunt?”
He ignored the question. “After weighing the pros and cons, we’ve decided Connor is better suited to lead the team.”
I stared at the man next to me, the traitor with his head still down, not acknowledging any of this. “You son of a bitch.”
“Watch your language, please, Miss Gibb,” Philander said, and it took everything in me to not flip out and throw some shit around.
“Charlie,” Jim said, reaching out toward me, but I lurched away. “Listen—”
“No.” I pointed my finger at him. “I thought you had my back. I thought you supported me.”
“I do,” he said.
I shook my head and turned toward the door.
“You’re welcome to stay on the coaching staff, if Connor allows it,” Philander offered pleasantly, as if he hadn’t just ripped everything away from me. “And your teaching position remains the same, of course.”
I bowed. “Oh, thank you for the generosity. But sorry not sorry when I say fuck you.”
I slammed the door, viciously wiping at the tears that spilled down my cheeks.
“Charlie, wait up, please.”
I didn’t stop at Jim’s voice, but with my blurred vision, I couldn’t run as fast as I wanted to, and he caught up to me just as I reached my car.
“Please, give me a chance to explain.”
“I don’t want to hear it, Jim. I know it’s bullshit.”
“It is,” he agreed, holding on to my arm. “Total bullshit. You have to know that I fought them on this. Hard. Spencer has been on me about getting rid of you for a while, but I wasn’t going to give in. After yesterday, he went to Philander and threatened to pull all of his booster money, and that’s when he called me. Charlie, I swear, this wasn’t my choice. I was outnumbered.”
I shook my head. I couldn’t listen anymore. I couldn’t form any words through my shattering sobs. I got into the driver’s seat just as Connor appeared a few yards away. He ran toward the car, but I sped away, silencing the protests behind me with the hum of the engine.
I didn’t care about any of it anymore.
Connor had gotten what he wanted. They’d all gotten what they wanted.
They’d broken me. They’d won.
CHAPTER
27
Connor
I tried calling her all day Saturday and Sunday, but Charlie refused to answer, evidently electing to turn her phone off because my calls went directly to voicemail sometime in the afternoon. And I’d left so
many Please call me, please messages that her mailbox was full. Monday she took the day off, not giving me any chance to see her. I wanted to speak to her, to tell her my side. I was sure she wouldn’t listen or care, but I wanted to at least try.
First, though, I needed a plan. I had to get my head on straight. Everything had happened so fast this weekend; I wasn’t quite sure how I felt about any of it. After school, I drove to Mom’s house and knocked once before using my key to open the front door. She and Sean were in the kitchen paging through a cookbook.
Mom’s head popped up. “Hey, what are you doing here?”
“Nono, are you staying for dinner?”
I scratched the back of my head. “No, I’m not staying for dinner.”
He pouted slightly, but my mom came over to my side, slipping her arm over my shoulders. “You okay?”
I shook my head, pushing my hands into my pants pockets.
“What is it, Monkey?”
I shrugged away from her and sat down at the kitchen table. I rubbed at my forehead as she went back to Sean at the counter. They went about deciding what to make for dinner while I found my words.
“I’m the new head coach of the Otters.”
Her face lit up. “Oh, honey that’s great. That’s—” She stopped, and walked around the island to me. “What does that mean?”
“They called me into school Saturday morning and told me I was going to be the head coach. Then Charlie came in, and they told her she wasn’t going to be . . . and then she told us all to . . . eff off.”
With one hand on her hip, she huffed. “I would’ve too.” She soothed her hand down my cheek. “You’re my son, and I love you, and I think you are an excellent coach and could definitely lead that team—but you do realize what happened, right? The good old boys’ club . . .”
I nodded.
Sean had taken interest in the conversation and sat down opposite me. “What’s wrong, Nono?”
I tried to find the root of the issue. “Charlie and I are fighting.”
“Oh.” He nodded somberly. “You’re not friends anymore?”
Even in my mixed-up state, I smiled when I remembered how he’d pointed out that he didn’t kiss his friends like I kissed Charlie. “I don’t think so.”
Mom sat down with a sigh. “What did you say? How do you feel?”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“Connor,” she chided.
“I know.” I put my hands on my head, elbows on the table. “I . . . didn’t know what to say to them. Or to her.”
“You should’ve told them it’s not right. She did a great job with the boys. There is no good reason for her not to continue as the head coach.”
Sean raised his hand in the air, catching on. “Charlie isn’t the coach anymore?”
“No, she’s not,” I said. “I am.”
Sean’s eyes toggled all around as he processed the information. He fixed his glasses, clearly not sure how to feel, going from a smile to a frown. “Can’t you share? One day you’re in charge and the next day she’s in charge?”
“I wish.” I blew out a big breath, then looked at my mom. “I think I love her.”
“I know. I’ve been your mother for thirty-one years. From the first time I saw you two together, I knew you loved her.”
I dropped my head to my arms on the table. After all this time, why hadn’t I figured it out? Love and hate were two sides of the same coin. I should’ve known every time I felt fire inside, it wasn’t from rage. It seemed obvious now.
Now that I was the head coach.
I’d finally gotten the job. Her job. But I’d wanted it so badly, and after all this time, was I supposed to give it up for her? I didn’t know how to begin to make the situation right, or if I even could.
“I don’t know what to do.”
Mom rubbed her hand over my back, and after a minute I sat back up as she said, “It’s up to you, but you know what’s right. If Charlie were a different person, a man—or if she were you, and they decided to get rid of you, or anyone else, after one season with a good record after all this time—what would you do?”
“I’d tell Mr. Spencer to mind his own damn business, and I’d tell the principal he had no idea what he was doing.”
She patted my hand. “I think you should start there.”
I nodded, and got up to hug and kiss her cheek.
“I love you, Monkey,” she said. “You’re a good man. You make your father proud.”
“Love you too.” I called out good-bye to Sean before heading home.
With the realization that I loved Charlie, the situation only got more complicated, but after talking with my mother, I felt a tiny bit better. No matter how any of this turned out, Charlie would hear how I felt about her, and the administration would get an earful from me.
Not five minutes after I’d gotten home and taken my shoes off, a barrage of knocks sounded on my door. I opened to up to Piper, Sonja, Blake, and Bear.
“Hey, dick,” Piper said, forcing me back from the door as she walked in.
Blake followed her. “Be nice, Sunshine.”
“What’s going on?” I asked.
Piper jerked her finger out the door. “You’re lucky I didn’t key your big, stupid truck.”
I didn’t get any words out before Sonja backed me up against the wall, her petite height making no difference when she pressed her forearm into my chest.
“Sone.” Bear pulled Sonja away from me, but the look in her eyes actually made me a little nervous that she’d really go after me if she could.
“Charlie told us what happened. She came home Saturday morning hysterical.” She practically spat the words at me. “I thought you were a good guy, but you just sat there. After everything between you two, you just sat there.”
Bear grabbed Sonja’s hand and yanked her to his side.
“It wasn’t my fault,” I said, and immediately knew those were the wrong words.
Blake stopped Piper before she could say anything, ever the peacekeeper. “All right. We came here to get the whole story, let’s hear it.” He turned to me. “Charlie said she was fired. The girls were with her all yesterday.”
I looked at Sonja and Piper. “I had nothing to do with what happened. I swear.” Sitting down, I ran my hands over my head a few times. “I didn’t know what Philander was going to do. I got to the school only a few minutes before Charlie. I should’ve guessed Spencer had something to do with it because he’s been on her case all season, but I truly never believed they’d fire her. I didn’t ask for or want the job.”
The girls seemed to soften a bit toward me.
“You wanted that position. You always have,” Piper pointed out.
“Yes, I did. But not at Charlie’s expense . . . not anymore.”
“What’s changed?” Sonja asked.
“I love her.”
“You love her?” Sonja and Piper said at the same time.
I nodded, and Piper knelt in front of me, holding my hands. “I say this with all the love and compassion I have, but you are so fucking dumb. You love her, and you didn’t say anything when they fired her?”
“Technically,” I said, pulling away from her, “they didn’t fire her. They said she could remain on staff. And she still has her teaching position.”
“Technically”—Sonja cracked her knuckles—“she should’ve kicked you in the balls.” She plopped down on the sofa next to me. “What are you going to do?”
“What I should’ve done Saturday morning. I’m going to talk to them tomorrow.”
“Great,” Blake said as the girls stared at me, unsatisfied.
I understood that I should’ve done something before, but I’d been taken by surprise. Yes, it made me the number one asshole among a room full of them, but I was going to try to make it right. I hoped.
“How is she?” I asked no one in particular.
“Upset,” Sonja said.
“I believe the words she used in reference to y
ou were ‘I wouldn’t piss on him if he were on fire.’ But, of course, in an accent,” Piper said.
Bear laughed. “Got a real way with words.”
“Like this one,” Blake said, jerking his thumb in my direction.
“You think she’ll forgive me?”
Sonja and Piper exchanged a look before casting sad eyes at me.
“I don’t know,” Sonja said after a while.
I hung my head. I hadn’t expected an ecstatic yes, but I also hadn’t thought they’d seem totally uncertain either, like it was a long shot. A very, very long shot.
They all sat with me a little longer, not managing to make me feel any less pathetic, as if they expected I was going to jump off a cliff at any moment.
I wasn’t. I wasn’t nearly that dramatic.
But I put on a good show the next morning.
I strode into the main office on a mission before school started. I didn’t even look at Lucille, Mr. Philander’s personal secretary. She tried to stop me, but I opened his door with enough force that it crashed into the wall. He jumped in his chair and slammed his laptop closed, his normally easy disposition thrown off.
“Connor, what are you doing here?”
“I need to talk to you.”
“I’m busy right now.” He intentionally moved his elbow over some papers, but I didn’t care what he was working on. I had more important things on my mind.
“I’m not taking the head coach position. Charlie should have it.”
He skimmed his hand over what was left of his hair, then over his suit jacket. “Connor, listen, you know—”
“No, you listen. She deserves that title and you know it. Whatever reason you’re doing this, whatever Spencer is doing or not doing, is bullshit. He doesn’t run this school, you do, and you can make this right.”
He folded his fingers together. “The decision has been made.”
“Your decision is wrong.” I leaned over his desk and slapped my hand on it. “Dick lost season after season, and no one said a thing. You all let the ship sink.” I stood up straight and gestured to the open door as if Charlie were there. “Gibb came in, and in one season turned the team around, got us to the playoffs. Yeah, we lost, but with the best record in years. Years. But you want to get rid of her? Because she doesn’t know what she’s doing? Cut me a break.” I stopped him when he tried to cut in. “You want to get rid of her because she’s a woman, and she’s doing better than anyone else could do, and you don’t like it. But I have news for you—if she goes, I go.”
Sidelined Page 20