Elena shook her head. There was something strange in the way Rook was talking to her, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. It was almost like Rook was hesitant to get in the middle of her and Cedric, like it wasn’t his place. Which was ridiculous because as far as she could tell, Rook was running this entire operation and that made every aspect of it his place. She looked forward to the day when she wasn’t constantly disoriented. She felt like the smoke from the bombing was still caught in her brain.
For the first time since the event, she was really, truly wishing she could go back to work. Not just because she feared losing her momentum on such an important project, but because she wanted normalcy in her life. She wanted a pattern. She was rudderless and hating it.
“I don’t understand. Cedric suggested I see a therapist because he’s going out on assignment?”
“I think he suggested that you see Dr. Waters because he wants you to feel supported.”
Well. There was not really any arguing with that. “I’ve never seen a therapist before.”
“Dr. Waters is a really special person. She’s really easy to talk to. She’s the person that all of us see from time to time.”
“All of the team members at Rook Securities see a therapist?”
“From time to time,” he repeated. “She specializes in matters pertaining to PTSD.” Rook paused, his face as open as she’d ever seen it before. His eyes were dark but not unfriendly. She felt like maybe with Cedric gone, Rook was taking it upon himself to make sure she knew that they were looking out for her on a personal level as well as a professional one. Rook was usually so focused and intense, she wouldn’t have bet that he could look so friendly. She didn’t hate it. “Look, we won’t force you, of course. If you don’t want to meet her, you don’t have to. And if you meet her and decide you’d rather talk with someone else, then we’ll find you someone new.”
So, Elena had met with Dr. Waters.
“You can call me Irene, if you prefer,” she’d said in her thick Boston accent. “And aren’t you just a perfect little bite of gorgeous? Are these boys behaving themselves? I’ll bet Atlas wants to eat you alive. No, strike that, now that I think about it, something tells me you’re more Cedric’s type.” She’d flopped down on the couch in the second floor common room, tossing her blue velvet coat aside to reveal a worn flannel button down, pleather pants, and knee high rain boots. “Listen to me, getting straight to the juicy stuff. I always like to begin and end my sessions with a little gossip. Good for the soul. Anyway, gorgeous, why don’t you tell me about why I’m here talking with you today.”
After a moment of brief shellshock, Elena had started talking. And then Irene had talked some. And then the session was over. And Elena had some homework. Her work for the next week, until she saw Irene again, was to cry anytime her body told her to and to lay down and sleep whenever she felt tired. It didn’t matter where or when it was. Surrender was the word that Irene had repeated to her during the session. “Right now isn’t the time for fighting, gorgeous, that comes later. Now is the time for surrendering.”
The whole thing had been surprisingly painless. Elena wasn’t sure if it had helped or not, but still, she was glad to have met Irene. And she couldn’t help but think it was ridiculously sweet that Cedric had arranged for her to meet with a therapist just in case she wanted someone to talk to about all this.
Just because she thought Cedric was sweet didn’t change the fact that she was irritated that no one would be up front with her about where Cedric and Sequence actually were. She turned to Atlas, brandishing a potato like a teacher’s pointer. “I know that if they’re out and about ‘on assignment’ then there’s something for them to be… investigating. Which means that there has been a development in your all’s evaluation of the threat on my life. And I want to know what it is!”
She picked up the potato peeler and started peeling with so much vigor that Atlas winced. He felt for the poor potato.
“Here,” he hip-checked her aside and handed her the bowl of salad dressing he’d been mixing. “Taste that and tell me what it needs. Leave this poor little guy alone. By the time you’re done with him, he’s going to be shaved down to a nub.”
“Quit trying to distract me with your potato nub talk.”
“Who has a potato nub?” Geo asked as she strolled into the kitchen, her hands in the pockets of her slacks.
“Atlas, of course,” Elena replied, and the women burst out laughing while Atlas narrowed his eyes and pointed between them.
“I’d like both of you to remember that while Sequence is gone, I’m the only member of this team who is even halfway decent in the kitchen. It wouldn’t kill you to show some respect.” He took the last bit of potato peel off with a particular flourish and Elena bit her lips to keep her laughter inside.
“All hail Atlas,” Geo said dryly. “Lord of the home fries.”
“That’s more like it,” he grumbled, though there was a smile on his face again.
“Damn it!” Elena exclaimed a few minutes later as she set the salad on the table Geo had just finished setting. “I just realized that you successfully distracted me with potato nubs, even after I specifically told you that it wasn’t going to work to distract me with your talk of potato nubs.”
Atlas cracked into a grin and flipped a veggie burger on a griddle. “Gotta stay on your toes with me, sweetheart.”
“Quit distracting me and answer my damn questions!” Elena was one more evasive answer away from stomping her foot like a petulant child.
“Are you riling up the client, Atlas?” Rook asked as he sauntered into the dining room and pulled out a chair at the head of the table.
“The client is riling herself up, sir.”
“I don’t think it’s crazy to want to know what’s going on in my own life.”
“For the record,” Geo chimed in. “I agree with Elena. What’s the point in keeping all this from her?”
Rook’s expression was inscrutable as he chewed slowly and eyed Geo. Geo was the only member of the team who ever openly disagreed with Rook on anything in particular. Rook always took it in stride. Elena wondered if that was because Geo was a woman or because Geo was Geo. Reasonable, upfront, honest to a fault.
Rook accepted a plate with a hamburger and fries on it from Atlas and scooped some salad before he responded. “Elena, we’re not trying to keep you in the dark. It’s just that there’s really nothing to tell yet. But you’re welcome to ask questions.”
“If they caught the man who… killed David,” she paused for one painful second. “Then why am I here?”
When Miranda had first talked her into cooperating with Rook Securities, Elena had still been in such a fog, she’d agreed without really asking herself why it was all necessary. The feds had told her she was out of danger, but Miranda hadn’t thought so, and apparently neither did Rook. Now she wanted answers.
“Because the man who admitted to the crime was, to our assessment, obviously a fall guy. He wasn’t the brains behind the operations.”
“And you think the brains behind the operation was someone who wanted both of us dead? Not just David?”
“Yes.” To his credit, Rook didn’t hesitate, though he did stop eating, his dark eyes on Elena’s.
“Well,” Elena took a defiant bite of her veggie burger. “That could be any number of groups, domestic or international. You make strides to protect wildlife and suddenly you’re receiving hate mail from every deer hunter and climate change denier under the sun. It’s always been remarkable to me what people decide to take as a personal attack on their individual freedoms.”
“Who opposes saving the elephants?” Atlas asked, his mouth full of fries.
“The problem isn’t with the elephants,” Elena responded. “It’s with the way we go about saving them. The number of trophy hunters is actually relatively low, but people in the States often get nervous about trophy hunting or poaching regulations because they feel like it’s a hop and a sk
ip from domestic hunting or gun carrying regulations. Which is obviously a hot button issue.”
“Did you run into this kind of opposition or hatred when you were working on your turtle breeding project in the Galapagos?” Geo asked.
Elena’s eyebrows rose. “You guys have really done your research on me, huh?”
Rook grunted. “We’re good at what we do, Elena, just like you are.”
She tipped her glass toward him. “To answer your question, we were in a different kind of hot water with the turtle conservation initiative. That was with the local fisherman who were pretty much completely restricted from fishing in the way they’d been fishing for centuries.”
“It’s never simple,” Geo muttered.
“No. But at the IWCF we’re not callous toward the people we impact. We’re not trying to make things better for animals but harder for people. Obviously, that doesn’t work. We have to find solutions that work for everyone in order for it to be sustainable. So, in the Galapagos we were able to use this huge endowment to create a conservation center down there. We were actually able to employ somewhere around 30% of the local fisherman as citizen scientists. They are out there using their fishing equipment to take samples and report back. Another 10% were hired on by the government as patrolmen of sorts. They are out there on the lookout for illegal fishing practices.”
Rook’s phone buzzed and he rose up, away from the table. Elena watching in fascination as Rook’s whole demeanor instantly softened, his voice going sweet and friendly. He chuckled and stepped out of the room.
“His daughter,” Atlas explained. “They’ve got a really good relationship.”
Rook’s voice went sharp out in the hallway and then faded away as he strode away.
“He and his ex-wife… not so much,” Atlas finished up.
“I think it’s hard on both of them when we’re on lockdown,” Geo said, mopping up some sauce with the last of her fries. “He does fifty percent of the childcare when we’re not here with a client. But when we are…”
“Oh.” Elena pushed the rest of the food around on her plate. She suddenly felt guilty and embarrassed, like them being on lockdown was somehow her fault. It hit her then, that Cedric and Sequence being out on assignment most likely meant that they were doing something dangerous. They might even be risking their lives for her.
Rook was torn away from his daughter and arguing with his ex-wife because of it. Who knew what Atlas and Geo were giving up to be here with her, but they were human people with human people lives and problems. There was no way that they weren’t giving something up to be here.
Was it worth it? Was any of this worth it?
CHAPTER SEVEN
Cedric and Sequence were gone on assignment for a total of six days. Cedric completely lost himself in the reconnaissance. He was blissfully unconflicted as he and Sequence gathered intelligence on this group of smugglers. They tailed the big boss, planted surveillance equipment in his most frequented bar and under all three of his vehicles. They were able to oversee a shipment coming in through an old marina in Sheepshead Bay.
At the end of the sixth day, when it was time to head back to the bunker, Cedric felt calm and focused. Not only had he been able to wipe away so much of his anxiety from the last few weeks in the gentle lull of work, he’d also been able to ensure Elena’s safety just that much more.
The smugglers, though not innocent, were obviously not making moves on taking Elena out. Not that they were shining citizens or anything like that, but they definitely were more occupied with their smuggling operation than they were with assassinating Elena.
“We don’t have to head back until tomorrow,” Sequence said in that low, grumbly voice of his. “You want me to drop you at your place?”
“Huh?” The thought hadn’t even occurred to Cedric. Of course, there was about 18 hours before he technically had to report in to Rook, but now that Cedric realized there was an option, he noticed just how much every molecule of his being had been straining to get back to the bunker. To Elena. “Oh.”
He thought hard for a minute. Maybe a night at his own house would do him some good. Things were so muddy back at the bunker with Elena. The line between high-school Ced and grown-up Ced were disconcertingly blurred. He so often felt like her bumbling, crushed out, idiotic study buddy, hoping for a closed mouth kiss after school.
It was distracting and torturous.
And confusing.
Because for the first time in years of knowing Elena, he wasn’t completely convinced that the attraction was one-sided. He couldn’t help but think of Elena’s heat plastered to him in bed. The tangle of their legs. Her dark eyes and golden legs as she’d pulled her hair up into a bun and come out of the bathroom, realizing that he’d cleaned up her room at Mach 5 speed. He’d seen surprise there, but he’d also seen the look of someone who was slightly charmed. He’d seen attraction. Magnetism. He might not be the quickest draw in the west, but that didn’t mean that Ced was dumb. It might have taken him a few weeks to get to this conclusion, but he was pretty sure that there was some strange current running between them. Being close to her was like letting her slowly unspool a fishing line from his gut only to realize that he was doing the same for her.
Secretly, in his deepest parts, he was elated over it. But that elation was crusted over in layers of dread and duty. This feeling for her was only going to distract him from the most important thing. Protecting her. He needed to focus on her safety.
Rook’s advice echoed back to him and Cedric grimaced, trying to imagine himself in some bar tonight. Meeting some woman. Having some sex.
Meh.
“Nah. Back to the bunker is fine.”
Cedric knew that as closed off as Sequence was, he was uncomfortable being separated from his twin. Atlas and Sequence didn’t always get along, but there was an impenetrable bond of brotherhood that Ced was envious of. Even though Sequence also had the option of returning to his apartment tonight, sleeping in his own bed, blissfully off duty, he too would want to return to the bunker, catch up with everyone.
It was after ten when they parked the truck in the spacious garage and went up to Rook’s quarters. They gave him a full, exhaustive report of their findings and an hour later, Cedric stumbled to his own room.
It was by no means opulent, but Rook had designed these rooms to be comfortable for his team. Cedric had a queen-sized bed with a comfortable mattress, a flat screen T.V., blackout shades, and an adjoining bathroom with just enough room to brush his teeth without having to sit on the toilet or stand in the shower stall to do it.
It wasn’t home, exactly, but Cedric still felt that familiar relief of knowing that all his loose ends were at least under one roof.
He shucked off his slacks and button down and showered off his day. He pulled on joggers and a soft gray t-shirt. He slipped on athletic socks and sneakers and then there was nothing else to do. He’d gotten completely ready and now he had to face the facts about what he’d gotten ready to do. Which was to go and see Elena for the first time in a week.
Cedric sat down on the edge of his bed and dropped his forehead into his large hand. If she were any other client, there was no chance that he’d be showering up to go check on her the very night he got back from a grueling six-day assignment. In fact, if she were any other client, Cedric would probably be boning down some random chick he’d met in a bar right this very second.
But she wasn’t another client. This was Elena. And Cedric missed her.
A more deceptive or less honest man might have convinced himself that all of this was no big deal. That he could go check on her and still keep things totally professional. But not Cedric. No. He took a deep breath and admitted to himself that the rules of the game were changing faster than he could recalibrate to accommodate them. And still his feet were taking him up to the Crow’s nest.
He first ducked inside the night duty room to give Atlas a pound. There was no way that Cedric could knock on Elena’s bedroom do
or without Atlas knowing anyhow, so he figured he might as well be upfront about the whole thing.
“Hey, dude!” Atlas brightened up immediately. “How’d the thingy go? Good news? Bad news? Hope it was good. We need some good news around here.”
“Why?” Cedric asked, closing the door behind him to break the noise of their voices. A line of worry pressed between his eyebrows. “Is something wrong?”
“Ah…” Atlas weighed his head from side to side. “I guess it depends on your point of view, but Elena’s been pretty anxious the last few days.”
“Shit. Really? I thought that seeing Dr. Waters would help her out a lot.”
“Yeah. I think it did. But it wasn’t enough to cancel out her worry about you.”
Cedric felt his eyes turn into two big, dumb pizzas.
“Me? She’s worried about me?” His brain couldn’t click along fast enough to imagine why the hell that would be true.
“Yeah, man. She got it into her head that you were out doing something dangerous on her behalf and there wasn’t really anything we could say to make her feel better. She’s been at loose ends for the last few days.”
“Shit,” he repeated, looking back in Elena’s direction, like he could see through the walls if he tried hard enough. Cedric scraped a hand over his full, short beard.
“I think it would do her good to see you alive and well,” Atlas said, his expression uncharacteristically serious.
“Yeah, I was gonna go and say hi,” Cedric said, although now that he knew what had been going on with her, it seemed to fall miserably short of an actual solution. Cedric was kind and gentle and had good intuition, but in the face of a real problem like this, he had absolutely no idea what to do to make her feel better. He would need six months to parse it all out and he had approximately three minutes before he was going to walk into that room of hers.
“Look, man… if you have it in you, it might be nice if you helped her sleep too.”
Cedric’s brow furrowed. “Well, she only sleeps well in this room, so would you mind if she came in here for the night?”
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