by Andrew Gross
“I promise,” I said. I wiped a tear from her eye and let the moisture dampen my shirt. For a moment, everything felt like it always had felt with us. Like we always belonged this way. Only one thing missing. “I will get her back, Liz,” I said. I lifted her chin and put my lips against hers. I didn’t know how she would react, but she returned the kiss, needy and urgent and afraid. We didn’t take it any further. It was enough just to feel her next to me again. Trusting me. She closed her eyes. In a minute, I felt the steady rhythm of her breaths against me.
If I could devise a serum that could give me the courage to do what I needed to tonight, infuse me with the conviction that I was doing the right thing and would somehow succeed, I couldn’t have asked for more than having her there with me.
I stayed awake next to her. Thinking of my daughter. The daughter I was going to take in my arms after and bring home with me. Bring her back to her mom.
As well as the slim, but suddenly tangible chance—like the sun coming out amid clouds on a dreary day, spilling its warmth on all—that there might be a life for us after.
Two hours passed, until the clock struck quarter of eleven. I shook her and put my lips close to her ear. “Liz, it’s time.”
39
At the brownstone, Willi and Trudi were packing. Their valises were open, and they threw in whatever they would need for their upcoming journey. It would be a cold one on the open sea. An eight-day crossing of the Atlantic. By tomorrow morning they would be on the 8 A.M. train bound for Montreal, with new names and forged documents; two days hidden in a safe house there, and then they would board a Portuguese freighter bound for Lisbon. After that, in a neutral port, they would board a diplomatic flight bound for Berlin.
It would be new to them. They had lived in the United States for twelve years. Since 1928. Before that, three years in the Graubünden province in Switzerland. When they were first recruited by General Canaris himself of the Abwehr on a visit back to their homeland in ’36, they had no idea how their loyalties would be tested. In a way, Willi felt like an American now. They had many friends here they would miss. But in the end, when the war was won on the Continent and America sued for peace on the second front and gave up the fight, they could come back.
No, Willi understood, as he sadly picked up the silver frame of the two of them visiting Niagara Falls, after tonight we can never come back. Their friends who were a part of their life here they would be forced to leave behind. It was always understood that might be the eventuality from the very beginning. A cost of war. The cost of commitment to their homeland. The cost of what they were doing, he knew. Trudi had always been the more committed.
“This…?” He showed the photo at the falls to Trudi. They packed up all their important memories. Ones they had carried from home. That and their clothes. That was all they were taking.
The rest they would leave behind.
“Yes, I loved that weekend, Willi. Of course,” Trudi agreed, and wrapped the filigreed frame in a protective cloth. “You remember, we had the best strudel with apple butter at that inn nearby.”
“The couple who owned it hailed from Wutzburger, I believe, if I recall,” he said.
“No, Morlbach, Willi,” she corrected him. “Outside Munich, if you recall.”
“Ah, yes, you are right.” Willi nodded, corrected. “As always, dear.”
Trudi smiled.
The brewery building had been sold and put in a trust for their grandchildren in Chicago. The radio transmitter had been dismantled and smashed into a dozen pieces and tossed into a refuse bin at a construction site. Over the past week, all their papers, documents, messages, anything that might tie them to their secret life had been burned and destroyed.
By tomorrow there would be no trace. No trace of the work they did once the door was closed. Only the kindly old couple who had suddenly disappeared. A mystery worthy of a novel. It would be Mossman they’d be thinking of, looking into. And once it was clear that was all a smoke screen and the questions came back to them, they’d be long gone, back in Berlin likely, and their adopted country would be reeling from its wounds. They filled their valises, folding their sport jackets and dresses carefully, smoothing out the wrinkles, until they looked at each other, satisfied they were done.
“Will you miss it?” Willi asked, sitting on the bedspread. “We have enjoyed our time here.”
“Yes, we have,” Trudi agreed. “But now it is our turn to do our duty. What we want for ourselves no longer matters compared to the good of the fatherland. You understand that, don’t you, dear?”
“Yes, of course, I know, but—”
“There is no but, Willi,” she said sternly. “I know you sometimes see it that way, but the path we have chosen is clear. History demands it. Do not waver, my husband. Much will be asked of us tonight.”
Willi nodded, placing his palms on his knees. “I just think, all those people … Innocent people, Trudi. Like our little Emma. In some ways, it is a heinous thing we are doing, I think sometimes … Duty or not, they are still people. As are we.”
“And look at the thousands of our own sons and brothers who will die if America enters the war. They cannot wage a two-pronged fight. The Führer tells us that. You will see, they will submit. And then you will be proud of the work here. So do not think so much on it.” She came over and sat beside him. “Just do your duty, my husband. I know you are troubled, but you must be strong. Thousands and thousands will die in this war. In the end, no one will miss them.”
He nodded.
“Our little Emma too, if it comes to that.”
“Yes, you always say the perfect things, my dear,” he sighed, “to bolster me when I grow a little weak.”
“They are the right things, my darling.” She ran her knuckles along his cheek. “Because they are true.”
“Look…” He picked up a picture book of Havana. They had traveled there once to promote their beer. The beaches there were the nicest they had ever seen. “What do you say?” he asked her, holding it over his valise. “There is room.”
“By all means,” Trudi said, smiling. “Whatever makes you happy, liebchen. No memory is too small not to take it with us.”
He gave her a kiss on the cheek, this woman who had been by his side for close to forty years, who strengthened him and always saw things clearly for what they were. He stood up and flattened his case. He was done. All there was to take. All there was to take of their lives.
They would live new ones now back at home, as heroes.
“Just tell me something, dear,” Willi said. Trudi was folding the filigreed tablecloth that had been a treasure of her mother’s back in Freiberg.
“Yes?”
“Just tell me she will live. I need to hear it. Assure me of that one thing, Trudi. I know you feel for her as much as I do. I will be fine tonight. I will do what is needed of me. I just need to know that one thing.”
“She will live if her father performs his duty,” Trudi said. He had hoped for a trace of warmth from her but there was only harshness in her voice. Ice. “Otherwise, we will do ours, Willi. We will all do ours. Margaret will not waver.”
“Yes, darling.” He took a breath, nodded wistfully. Willi closed the valise and secured the clasps. “You are right as always.” He put the closed valise on the floor. “I see it now.”
40
I dropped Liz off at the brownstone and told her to wait there. She gave me a heartfelt hug on the street that was hard for me to release. I pressed her extra close and watched her go inside, saying, “Be careful, Charlie. I know it’s dangerous, whatever you’re doing.” I wasn’t sure if I would ever see her again.
Then I walked the five blocks to the brewery, arriving there a few minutes before twelve.
I noticed the white Buick parked on the street outside, about two cars down from the entrance, just as Fiske had said. I didn’t look to confirm what I knew was hidden beneath the rear passenger tire. I knew it was there. I looked around, and didn’
t see anyone on the street. But he said they’d be watching. I stood in front of the entrance and blew out a bolstering breath before rapping on the corrugated door in the same manner I had earlier, to indicate that it was me.
In a moment, the door cracked open a bit. Curtis peeked out and looked around outside. Satisfied that I was alone, he let me in.
“Charlie!” Willi exclaimed when he saw me. He was dressed in a tweed wool sports jacket, sweater and knit tie, and woolen Alpine cap. Curtis turned me around and patted me down as roughly and thoroughly as he’d done earlier that day. He especially felt over my chest and down my thighs for a trace of some kind of wire. Then he looked over at Willi and nodded, satisfied.
“I commend you, Charlie.” Willi gave me a smile. “You didn’t even make us wait it out as to whether you would come.”
“Let’s just get on with what we have to do, if that’s okay,” I replied. The delivery truck sat in the loading bay, but this time with a large gray tarp covering it. The rear cargo door was open, and as we went by, I could see several of the so-called beer kegs lined up inside. Next to it, the black Ford sedan from the other night was parked.
I said to Bauer, “You said when I came back I could talk to Emma.”
“I said we’d consider it, Charlie. But I’m afraid that won’t be possible. Not enough time.”
“It better be possible,” I said. “Otherwise, whatever you need of me, it’s off.”
“Off, Charlie…?” Willi mused discouragingly. “Curtis, please remind Mr. Mossman he’s not in any position to be setting terms with us. Not if he wants the evening to end happily for him.”
The large German stepped closer and took out his gun.
“We don’t need you, Charlie,” Willi said. “We want you, but the events of this morning will go on, whether you’re involved or not.”
“So shoot me then.” I shrugged. “We both know there’s not much hope of me surviving the night as it is. I only care about Emma. And before I help you one iota, you need to give me proof that she’s alive and unharmed.”
“You mean other than our word?” Willi said.
“I think you can understand how your word doesn’t carry much weight with me right now.”
“Well, then…” He looked at me, then Curtis in a fatalistic way, and then shrugged, as if to say, All bets are off then. Do what you have to do.
Curtis put his hand on my shoulder.
“Please, Herr Mossman…” A voice called out from the inside office. It was Trudi. She stepped out wearing a blue suit and a feathered tulle hat. “No need for such intemperance. I have someone on the line who very much wants to say hello to you. It’s very late. A child her age shouldn’t be wakened from sleep.”
“Always thinking of others,” Willi said, “my Trudi.”
My heart leaped and I ran toward the office. Trudi had the black phone on the desk and gave the receiver to me. Her hand remained over the mouthpiece. She said, “Go ahead, but only for a minute, do you understand? Just to hear she’s doing fine and nothing more.”
“Honey!” I grabbed the receiver and pressed it to my ear. “Emma? Are you there, sweetheart? Are you all right?”
“Daddy?”
“Yes, darling, it’s me. It’s me. How are you? I know you must be scared. Are you all right?’
“I guess so. I’m with Mrs. Shearer,” she said. “But why do they have me here, Daddy? They won’t let me go home. I miss Mommy. Why can’t I see her?”
“You will see her, sweetheart. Soon. Tonight, I hope. You just be a big girl and hang in there for a little while longer and later you’ll be in your mommy’s arms.…” I felt myself starting to choke up. “I promise, baby.…” I turned to Trudi with a glare, for putting her, an innocent six-year-old child, through such torment. “You just tell Mrs. Shearer she has to treat you extra nice, okay…” I said. “They are treating you nice, aren’t they?”
“Yes, Daddy, they are, but…”
Tears burned at the back of my eyes. Tears of helplessness and anger. I wanted to lunge at Trudi, all of them, and twist the phone cord around her neck and choke the life out of her for putting my daughter in such anguish. “You tell her from me, to make sure she is treating you nice, or I’ll be angry with her. You tell her I’ll come talk to her. You tell her that from me. Those very words, Emma. And—”
“That’s all now,” Trudi said, attempting to wrestle the phone from me.
“Daddy, I want to see you,” Emma said. “They’re telling me I have to go now. That I—”
“That’s it, Mr. Mossman.” Trudi’s eyes grew firm.
“Just a second more. I’ll be seeing you soon, hon. I love you, baby! You know that, right? I—”
Trudi pressed her finger on the switch hook button and suddenly the line went dead. There was just a dial tone. I had no idea if Fiske had been able to trace the call in that time. It had barely been a minute.
I glared. “You hurt that little girl, Trudi, and I promise, you’ll burn in hell for it,” I said.
“Please, please … She’ll be fine,” Trudi said dismissively. “By morning, your little angel will be back in her mother’s arms. Just do what we ask you to do and you won’t have to worry your mind about it. Now go, get ready.…” She stepped outside. “Oberleutnant Leitner, please have Herr Mossman try on his uniform.”
“Uniform…” Behind the desk, I saw three leather valises on the floor that looked fully packed. The Bauers were clearly leaving tonight. Or in the morning. After everything was done.
Curtis came over and grabbed me roughly by the arm.
I tried to yank it away.
“In here, Mr. Mossman.” He took hold of me again. There was another room to the side of the office, possibly a secretary’s station. File cabinets and a metal desk. “We’ve gone to a lot of trouble for you, Mr. Mossman,” he said, sniffing with a clipped, amused smile.
On a hanger, I saw a military uniform hanging from one of the file cabinets. It was army. Military green. Captain’s bars were pinned to both epaulets.
“Try it on,” Curtis said, taking the hanger off and removing the trousers.
“What do you all have in mind?” I asked.
“Don’t you worry your head with what we have in mind. Just put it on. We want you to look nice. We’ve gone to a lot of trouble for you.”
He leaned with his back to the wall, conveying that he wasn’t leaving. I removed my jacket and started to unbutton my shirt. Curtis looked like he’d like nothing more than to use that gun on me, any excuse he could get. Like I was still alive only to do one thing, and once that was done … I knew I’d better arm myself as well, otherwise, the second I’d outlived my usefulness, whatever it was, he would likely do just that. Fiske was right.
I put on the khaki shirt and unzipped my pants and took them off. I threw them over a chair at the desk.
In a minute I had changed into the uniform, Curtis never once removing his gaze from me. It fit fine, a little large in the jacket. He tossed me the tie. “The whole thing, Mr. Mossman,” nodding for me to put it on as well. There was a black leather belt with an empty holster attached. “The cap too,” Curtis said. He took it off the hook and tossed it to me when I was done. I put it on my head. “Captain Mossman.” He nodded with an approving smile. “You’ll pardon me if I don’t salute.”
Willi and Trudi came back in.
“Nice. Very nice, indeed.” Willi smiled, impressed. “So sorry we couldn’t complete the outfit with a gun for the holster, but I think you understand.”
I stood there like a groom in his fancy wedding tuxedo, everyone staring at me.
Trudi said, “It will do just fine.”
“I hope you don’t mind…” I transferred my cigarettes and matchbook from my own trousers.
“Now Kurt…” Willi Bauer swung the front door back, revealing another uniform. Much the same as mine, except it was for an enlisted man. “Your turn now. I’m afraid we couldn’t get you the same rank.”
Curtis r
emoved his plaid jacket and started to change.
“So where are we going?” I asked. I tried to play dumb, though I already knew. “What is it you want me to do?”
“Oh, you’ll know in due time, I promise,” Willi Bauer said. “You’ll be briefed on everything on the way north.”
North. He checked his watch. It was 12:25 now. “Is everything loaded up?” he asked Curtis, once he had finished putting his pants on.
The German nodded, stuffing his shirt into his army trousers. He wore sergeant stripes. “It is, Herr Bauer. We just need to secure the cargo in place.”
“Well, get it done. As soon as you can. I want to get out of here. Make yourself at home, Mr. Mossman. Just a few more details to go over and we’ll be leaving shortly. You’re going to play a very important part in history tonight.”
“Yeah, great.” I did my best to appear clammy and peaked. “As long as you live up to your word on Emma, that’s all that matters to me. Look,” I blew out my cheeks, “I’m actually not feeling so well at the moment. You mind if I get some air?”
“I’m sorry, but I’m not sure if that’s such a good idea,” Willi said.
“It’s a good idea unless you want me to bring up my lunch all over your truck on the way to wherever we’re going.” I wiped my hand across my brow. “This isn’t exactly my normal routine.”
Willi glanced warily to Trudi.
“You’ve got my daughter,” I said. “What’s the risk? Keep an eye on me, if you like. Where the hell am I going to go anyway? I came here of my own accord. But just decide quick, ’cause I’m starting to feel queasy.”
“All right, all right…” Willi relented. “Friedrich, keep an eye out on Captain Mossman while he gets a little air.” The German nodded. “And don’t let him go too far. Trudi, Kurt, please come in the office. I need to go over something with you in here.…”