by Harmony Grey
I mean how the hell are we supposed to get passed this when the selfish son of a bitch is so easily giving up on his only child, the only remaining piece of his late wife so he could replace her in the process?
“Isn’t he wondering why you haven’t been home?”
I wish he was, but my father is no longer the same guy Ryder grew up around. I swear, there’s no way Ryder would so much as recognize my father these days. Sure, he might look the same, but on the inside, he’s changed, and I really don’t think he’ll be able to go back and find who he once was.
“Ryder, the guy doesn’t seem to think about anything unless it concerns his cock.”
Ryder offers me a knowing look, only this time I can see the pity in his eyes, and I hate it. “I thought he’d moved on from all that?” He raises a questioning brow at me which I match with my own. He knows all about my father’s reckless antics. Ryder has been here for me when everyone else seemed to forget I existed. He’s been the one on hand to cool me down when things have got heated. Ryder has been the only one who’s been able to prevent me from doing something drastic—only I don’t think he’ll be able to help me this time.
“Oh yeah. I guess you could say he’s moved on. I suppose that’s one way of putting it.” My voice is loud and stern as I say the words through clenched teeth., and even though I’m saying the words out loud, I still can’t believe this is actually happening.
It’s like some fucked up nightmare that I can’t wake up from. “Instead of fucking his grief away like he usually would, he’s decided to pledge his loyalty and his dick to just the one whore now, and because that wasn’t enough to insult my mom’s memory, he’s decided to go and move her into my mom’s house.”
Silence.
A deathly silence descends around the room while Ryder tries to process the mad fuck-fest of what I’ve just told him.
“Shit, man.” He whistles when he’s finally gotten his head around how fucked up my life has become. I swear, if I wasn’t living it, I would never believe how selfish someone could be.
“Right?” I nod back at him before taking another pull on my beer, finding comfort in the sour taste as it works its way down my throat. “Now you know why I can’t head back there. I need some time out. Maybe I’ll think about it in a couple of weeks. Maybe then he would have come to his senses and that cheap whore of a home wrecker will be nothing more than a distant memory for him.”
“Do you think she’s like the rest of them? This one could be different…”
My head snaps toward my best friend and I’m suddenly looking at him like he’s just grown two fucking heads. “Of course she’s like the fucking rest of them.” I snap, unable to stop myself. And what the hell does he mean by that anyway? My dad only ever seems to think with his dick these days. As long as he has somewhere to stick it, he doesn’t need to think about anything or anyone else.
I don’t get a chance to question Ryder further as my phone suddenly chimes to life beside me. I don’t need to look down at it to see who it is either. I’m not answering it. I’ve got nothing to say to him while he’s currently playing happy families with some random broad who he’s met only god knows where.
I can feel the heat of Ryder’s eyes burning into me, watching me closely, unsure of my next move—damn, that would make both of us, but I don’t do anything except allowing my phone to ring off. He can leave a message if he can be bothered, but I won’t hold my breath.
“Maybe we should do something?” he asks, and I can tell he’s trying to change the subject onto something else. Anything but my dad. “We could get out of the house, try to take your mind off things?”
I appreciate what Ryder’s trying to do and usually I’d be all over it like a hot chick at a pool party, but I really don’t feel like dragging my sorry ass around. I’ve had the mother of all days and I cannot wait for the bullshit to end. The best thing I can do for myself and everyone else around me right now is to lay low, try to sleep this vile mood off and hope for a better day tomorrow.
“Thanks, but I’m good, bro.”
My phone sounds again and this time I lazily drag my eyes to the phone:
Taylor: Quit avoiding me. We need to talk.
Like fuck we do.
I throw myself back on the sofa as a heavy sigh escapes from deep within my chest. I wish, just for once that people would leave me the fuck alone. Can’t they see that I have a heap of shit going on and all I’m asking for is a little bit of breathing space.
“Was that your dad again?”
I shake my head while keeping my eyes focused on the ceiling above me. I can feel the unshed tears of frustration filling up and threatening to spill over. If I move, they could fall, and the last thing I want is Ryder thinking I’m crying over my fucked-up excuse of a father.
My body is riddled with exhaustion. My chest is aching, and I just want to be left alone. I know Ryder means well. He always does, but I just don’t have the energy right now. “Taylor.” I breathe in deep and count to three. Even her name in my mouth makes me feel murderous. Apparently, her cheating ass wants to speak to me too.
Well, bad luck for them because I have nothing to give them. Zilch, nada. Absolutely nothing at all. Well, at least nothing that they’ll want to hear.
“You know you’re going to have to talk to her eventually.”
Oh, Ryder and his wonderful words of wisdom strike again. I know he’s right, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. Taylor is the last person I want to be dealing with right now. When I look at her all I’ll be able to see is deceit dancing in her eyes and Rodriquez all over her.
“I will, but only when I’m ready.” I run my hands through my hair while planning my next move. Everything’s still a little hazy in my mind, but I’ve got a decent idea of what’s about to go down. No matter how I try to work around it, the end result will always be inevitable. “Ryder, I’m gonna need you to do me a favor.”
“Shoot…” Ryder replies without any form of hesitation.
“I need you to arrange a meet.”
“Are you sure?” His eyes grow wide and now it’s his turn to look at me like I’ve just grown two heads. He knows exactly what I’m asking of him, and I know he’ll deliver too. There’s no denying that he’s my boy through and through. Maybe he’s right to be wary, but right now I don’t give a damn about anything.
“You just focus on arranging it, and I’ll worry about the rest. Oh, and make sure you let me know when it’s done.”
CHAPTER TEN
KANE
“Son… don’t hang up…”
My finger hovers over the end call button on my screen, and I’m eager to disconnect the call but I know if I do then the son of a bitch will keep on calling. He’s a relentless motherfucker when he wants to be. Stubborn as they come, and I know that’s where I get it from. It’s not a bad thing, unless it’s directed at me. That’s when he can stick his stubbornness up his ass.
“What do you want, dad?” I ask and my voice is hoarse and dry. I didn’t sleep much last night, and I can hear it. It doesn’t matter how exhausted I am or how much of a beating my head’s going through right now, I know it’s easier to get this over and done with. I need him to know where he stands and the sooner it’s done the better. Then I can concentrate on getting on with my life, just like he’s doing with his—with zero fucks to give.
An awkward silence fills the line between us until my father finally speaks again. “I want you to come home, son.”
As if it’s that fucking easy. Yeah, sure. I’ll head right on home to play happy fucking families with some stranger he’s brought into the house—a readymade fucking family. Just what I always wanted. He may as well say, ‘don’t worry about your mom, son. She was good while she lasted but now I’ve got you a new one.’ Yeah, I don’t fucking think so.
“No can do,” I tell him flatly and there’s zero emotion in my voice. It almost feels like I’m talking to a total stranger, and I bet he doesn’t even real
ize. His head is so far up his ass, it’s unreal.
A weary sigh echoes down the line and I can just imagine him at his desk, all suited and booted, running a hand through his messy hair—playing the victim as usual.
“Come on, son…” he pleads and the sadness in his voice falls thick and heavy like the winter fog in a morning. I used to hate hearing my dad upset. If my dad was sad then that would make me sad too, but not anymore. I’ve had no choice but to toughen up and grow up since those days. Man, they feel like a lifetime ago. What does my dad have to be upset about anyways? He got everything he wanted and more, did he not? Obviously, his emotions are as empty and just as fake as his promises. “We need to talk about this.”
Like fuck we do. What kind of world is he currently living in? “I already told you before. I’ll talk when she’s gone.” I bite out the words and it’s proving really hard for me to keep my cool. “Don’t expect me back at the house until that witch has disappeared for good.”
“Kane…” my dad pleads again but the truth is I really don’t want to hear it. “Don’t you think that you’re overreacting a little?”
Overreacting? Damn, he seriously has no fucking idea. I feel my hand tighten around my phone as the beast inside me begins to rear its ugly head again. My nostrils flare and my heart begins to pound in my chest and all I can hear for a moment is the loud thud reverberating in my ears.
“See… there you go again.” I hiss back at him and I don’t care if he can tell I’m pissed. “Trying to make out like everything is a-okay. You’re acting deluded, dad. And I don’t understand how you can be so cool about all this. It’s like you can’t see how this is affecting me. It’s like mom never fucking existed.” My voice cracks with pure emotion and I’m aware that I probably sound like a little kid again, but I have zero control over it.
“Kane, I get it. Truly I do.” Yeah right. Like hell he does. Did he ever really care about my mom or was it all just some put on act? My money’s on the latter because if he did care and I mean if he really cared about her then there’s no way he’d be able to move on.
“Quit with the bullshit, dad.”
“Listen, buddy. I know you’re upset and that’s why I’m gonna act like you didn’t just curse at me, but your mom’s been gone for almost two years now. I know it’s not easy but unfortunately life moves on…”
“Yeah. For you, maybe.” I cannot believe the bullshit which is falling out of his mouth. “Just because you forgot about her the second she stopped breathing doesn’t mean that I have, and I never will. You know I’ll be honest with you dad. There’s times where I wish it were you who was buried deep in the ground and not my mom. There’s no way my mom would ever let me down the way you have.”
“Kane…” I sense anger in his voice now, but tough shit. It’s not my fault the truth hurts.
“Kane nothing. So long as you’re too busy entertaining some whore who’s in my mother’s house then I can promise you now that you won’t be seeing or hearing from me again.” I disconnect the call and toss my phone down onto the bed. My head is spinning like I’ve just span around a million times and my whole body is shaking like crazy. How can he not see what he’s doing is wrong and totally immoral? I didn’t agree with him sticking his dick in every chick he came across, but I also knew that none of them were serious and as soon as he’s had his use out of them then they’d be out of his life until the next one came along. But this time is different. Now he’s moved someone in and is acting like she’s for keeps. I just wish I’d hurry up and wake up from this fucked-up nightmare, but deep down I know that isn’t going to happen. My whole life changed when my mom was taken from me well before her time and life as I once knew it is never going to be the same.
But that doesn’t mean I need to hop on board with my dad and his reckless selfish actions. I don’t need him, and I know I can make a better life for myself without him being in the picture. I mean it’s not like he actually does anything for me anyways. It took him days to reach out to me when I upped and left the house. Maybe he thought I’d come running back with my tail between my legs? Well, that son of a bitch is in for a shock, because there is no way I can play happy families with him and his new fuck buddy. Not in this fucking lifetime, and the next isn’t looking all too probable either.
A small tap sounds at the bedroom door. Cautious, and I know Ryder has been hiding out in the hall trying to give me some privacy. That doesn’t come easy at Ryder’s place as it’s so small. He doesn’t care though. The size of his house doesn’t matter because he has everything he could ever need and more. His mom. She’s always been there for him. No matter how much she’s struggled over the years, she’s always made sure he has everything he could ever want, and she always makes sure he knows just how much he’s loved.
It’s a real shame my dad can’t take some notes out of her book. Ryder’s mom would never ditch him for a guy. Her main focus is her son and that’s how it fucking should be.
“Is the coast clear?”
I sigh and turn my head towards the door. “Yeah, come in.” I call out before my body falls back onto the bed.
“Is everything okay?”
My eyes reluctantly snap to my best friend before I tear them away again. I know he’s worried about me, but he’s never going to be able to make this right. No one can do that. “About as okay as I’ll ever be.” I tell him truthfully as my voice drops back into its casual monotone flatness. Totally void of any emotion and I’m fast becoming used to it.
“And your dad?”
I shake my head, and breath in deep while trying to keep my breathing nice and even. “That man’s as good as dead to me.” It may sound harsh but man, it’s nothing but the truth.
“Shit…” Ryder whistles. “I didn’t know it was that bad, bro.”
“Hey. Don’t you dare go feeling sorry for the guy.” I warn him. “You know as well as I do that the son of a bitch has brought this on himself. He’s made his bed and now he can fucking rot in it for all I care. Along with his two-bit whore.”
Ryder holds up his hands in surrender before dropping down onto the beanbag in the corner of his room. “Hey, I’m not here to judge or take sides.”
“Good.” I try to relax and put my dad to the back of my mind, but this bullshit is getting harder and harder to deal with. I’m trying but I seriously don’t know how much longer I’m going to be able to bottle up my emotions. Sooner or later, I’m going to come to breaking point and when I snap, anyone who’s near me is going to suffer the consequences.
I watch as Ryder opens his mouth to speak before he quickly closes it again. He’s just itching to tell me something. I can tell just by watching him chew his bottom lip nervously.
“What’s up, man?” I ask as soon as my curiosity gets the better of me.
Ryder continues to chew his lip while he debates whether or not to tell me what’s currently working him up on the inside. “I don’t think now’s the time…”
“Quit with your bullshit, Ryder and fucking tell me what’s bothering you.” What is it with the people closest to me? Every single one of them keeps holding something back from me. I’m a straight up guy. I always have been. I’ve never been afraid to tell people what I think about them or what’s playing on my mind and I’ve never pretended otherwise and I sure as hell expect the same in return.
“All right. I’ve got the lowdown on Rodriguez.”
Everything vanishes in an instant.
My dad.
His whore.
Just the mention of that motherfucker’s name coming out of Ryder’s mouth puts everything else onto the back burner. Now all my attention is on my best friend. “You do?”
“Uh huh…” he nods enthusiastically, his mass head of blond hair bouncing up and down.
“Well, what the fuck are you waiting for?” I feel a rush of adrenaline shoot through my veins and I feel more alert than I have done in days. “Start talking and tell me everything you know.”
CHAPT
ER ELEVEN
KANE
According to Ryder’s intel, Rodriguez has been heading into our territory for some time. He’s been wise enough to keep himself hidden, and how he’s managed to do that without it getting back to me is beyond me.
Everyone knows that Manorcroft is my playground—not his. Rodriguez dwells on the other side of the river with the rest of the rodents and cockroaches and there’s no place for his kind here.
It’s no secret within this town that our families don’t speak and the good old folks of Manorcroft don’t speak of it either.
No one really knows what happened and to be fair neither do I. The fallout happened so long ago and everything’s kind of turned into one big blur. Hating Rodriguez was what was expected of me and it quickly became a part of who I am over the years.
All I know is that once upon a time our fathers used to be the best of friends. They were inseparable since they were kids and then not long after I’d started high school some shit went down, and they had a massive fall out… and I mean massive. No one knows how it started but they had a huge bust up and stopped speaking. Just like that. It was as though neither of them had ever existed. The Marquell family was as good as dead to the Egan’s and vice-versa. So, because our parents didn’t speak, me and Rodriguez lost touch too, and I guess we let it happen out of respect for our parents. And, as time went by, we grew to hate each other too. The poison that flowed between our parents eventually seeped down to the next generation and in turn poisoned us against each other.
I won’t lie. It was weird as fuck at first because like our fathers before us, me and Rodriguez were inseparable too. We used to be the best of friends and we did everything together. Then one day, out of the blue, Rodriguez stopped coming around. Of course, my father told me it was for the best and I didn’t need to bother with someone like that in my life because he’d only end up letting me down in the end. Rodriguez didn’t even try to call, and when I tried to call him his number was no longer in service.