by Raven Scott
Clenching around them, I sucked in a loud breath, squeezing his cock as Jacob gasped into my mouth. His breath in my lungs flooded my system, and he held the back of my head to deepen the kiss. Tingles skittered just under my skin as he thrust into my hand, his head brushing my thigh.
My juices eased his fingers, their curling and twisting so slow but profound, and Jacob’s grunt clogged my throat when I swiped my thumb over his tip. Tiny tears leaked from my eyes when he exited me, and I flopped my head back to wheeze for air. The atmosphere was so thick that I could see it through my bleary gaze and stinging lids. Parting my folds side, the cold sent a shiver up my spine, and his free hand found its way to my lower back to scoot me off the counter.
I ground my teeth as Jacob poised himself at my entrance, and he braced his hand on the cabinet overhead to blow out a hard breath through flared nostrils. He disappeared from the very edge of my vision, and my heart nearly stopped as anticipation rampaged through me.
Hard, smooth flesh stretched my inner walls when Jacob inched into my channel. The instant, insanely potent euphoria that surged up from my core slammed into my lungs, and I moaned softly. He felt so big, so hard, so wonderful, and my thighs trembled as they struggled to cling to his waist.
“Fuck— fuck…” Jacob’s guttural slur rose goosebumps under my dress, and my scars quivered as tension coiled in my abdomen. His hips pressed against mine before he breathed again, his inhale sucking the heat from my neck as colorful spots assaulted my eyes.
“Don’t stop—” My native tongue slipped out, and Jacob panted furiously against my neck. I couldn’t even think enough to make English words, but, as always, he knew. He knew what I wanted, and I gripped the edge of the counter to roll my hips against his eagerly. “More, Jacob… do it— do it…!”
Pulling back, Jacob left me shivering with need, and I hiccupped a breath when he thrust with a low grunt. His cock stretched me walls, the pleasure firing off to overwhelm my mind as I drew closer and closer. Each labored breath, each twitch of his cheek or lips, each tiny, strained sound that graced my ears— I felt it all.
For the first time, I wasn’t scared of my dress riding up, of him pulling down the neckline to expose my breasts— of exposing myself. And that feeling was freedom. This moment was freedom, and not even Aleksander Makovich could give it to me.
Rolling my hips to the slow, savoring beat of his, my tears became dense as they dripped into my hair and ear. Undulating around him, the physical pleasure of him inside me disappeared. Jacob lifted his head, his lips trailing up my jaw to find mine and steal the stale breath lingering behind them. He wrapped his arms around me fully to turn us, leaning against the counter to thrust into my channel.
“Jacob— Jacob—” The roughness of his pants scraped my inner thighs, but the burn only added to the barrage of sensations that coiled in my belly. His tongue danced with mine, the taste of him coating the roof of my mouth and dripping down my throat. Holding his shirt in white-knuckle fists, I clamped down on his cock as rapture overwhelmed me. Mine was an implosion of my soul, the powerful waves surging through me lifting me up from the depths of despair that I was too used to.
“Fuck… yes-s— cum just like that, Joci.” Rasping his encouragement, Jacob tore his head back to pant as he growled deep in his chest. The reverberations rattled my bones and all the metal holding them together, and I whimpered pathetically. “Damn— damn… fuck…”
“Don’t stop—” Somehow, I managed to spout out some English, and Jacob shook his head hastily. “Please… please don’t stop…”
“Hey— hey— don’t cry.” My lower lip trembled violently, and Jacob reached to wipe my eyes and cup my cheek. He smiled that warm, beautiful smile that drew me to him so easily. “Come on. I’m gonna turn into a jerk if you cry.”
“… I wish I could hug you.” My confession widened Jacob’s eyes a little, but his smile never drooped. Instead, he straightened from against the counter to saunter towards his room with a promise sparkling in his eye.
20
Jacob
“You’re not hurting, right? How’s your shoulders?” Glancing up from Joci’s new, entirely English phone, I pursed my lips thinly as she shook her head. Sprawled out on my bed, she looked so fitting there— like she belonged. “I’m done with your phone. Do you want to call me on it?”
“I can’t message you.” Sitting up, she smiled guiltily, and I held out her phone in it’s shiny, metallic-flecked case. “I should’ve tried harder in class.”
“My number is the only on in there. You’ll be fine.” Joci snatched the device with a snooty look, and I sat back to hold myself on my arms. I was lucky my phone screen didn’t crack when I dropped mine on the tiled kitchen floor. To be honest, I’m lucky I didn’t pass out.
Not only was she tortured, but doctors left her that way? Russian doctors didn’t have a good reputation, but for fuck’s sake… fix Joci but not make her pretty? And what was that shit about half her fucking organs being taken out? Why? Was it some sort of screwed up preventative measure, or was she really torn from the inside out? If she was in such a bad condition, how did she hold out for so long?
I had a feeling I knew the answer to that last question, but I simply shook my head viciously to clear my thoughts. Joci would probably never tell me specifics, and that was perfectly a-o-fucking-kay with me.
“You said your boss was covering your medical bills, right? Did you think taking all the metal out would help your pain?” The question rolled off my tongue heavily, just before my cell phone started to vibrate from an unknown caller. Reaching over to grab it off the nightstand, I tapped around to add Joci to my contacts as her questioning gaze rested on me. “America’s where everyone tries to go to be a doctor right? Come here, and it’ll look good back in Russia.”
“Oh-h… No. I can’t take them out. There’s no pain, really… if I take them out, there’s no holding anything together. My arms and fingers are worst.” That’s not how it works. I wanted to tell her that she’d probably healed a long time ago, but I kept my mouth shut. There was the entire possibility that Joci would be in pain if she took the pins and plates out, anyway. “Besides— they’re in my spine, and my ribs, and my legs— everywhere.”
“Seriously? What the fuck did that guy not break?” I fucked up— the punch to my gut hit me too late, and I scowled as Joci looked up from her phone completely. “Sorry… it’s just… It’s so infuriating.”
“He did not break me. And I can try with the scars… just not the bones.” My mouth dried at that, but Joci smiled with understanding glimmering in her eyes. “I know how it is. Trust me— it’s okay that you’re disgusting. I am, too. Five years don’t change that.”
“There’s a difference between being disgusted with you and just needing some time to process the fact that a trained professional left you like that.” Was there really, though? When I saw her naked, my damned near first reaction was disgust. Nothing could’ve prepared me for the reality of Joci’s body. This kind of shit would be illegal in the States!
As much as it physically sickened me to acknowledge it, I didn’t want to look at Joci naked. I was caught so off-guard, so ill-equipped, that her body wasn’t something my mind could process.
“Jacob—” Blinking hard, I inhaled deeply through my nose as Joci crawled the few feet between us to sit across from me. Her expression drenched in understanding, and I hated it. “It’s okay. Yeah? I see it in you— you don’t like it, and you don’t like that you don’t like it.”
“Okay. Okay— you’re right, Joci. I don’t like it, and I resent myself for fucking you, but it was the best lay of my life— and you know, I feel like a real asshole right now.” Silence met my short ramble, and I just felt even worse realizing I’d talked too fast for her to follow. Running both my hands through my hair, I held my head between my forearms to exhale a heavy breath. “I feel too much to make sense.”
“… Do you want me to leave?”
“D
on’t ask me that.” Groaning roughly, I flopped sideways onto the bed to cover my face with both my arms. “I don’t know. I don’t want you to leave, but I’m too far up my own ass to be good company.”
“Uh— okay…” She sounded as confused as I felt, and my scowl intensified. “You can walk me home. I can leave without leaving? Sorta.”
“I’m a piece of shit. Yeah— I’ll walk you home, Joci.” I sat up despite how heavy my body was, and Joci patting my shoulder gently. There was no good way about this situation, but she was right— walking her home solved my two problems. The cold would get my head out of my ass, maybe, and I would be alone, eventually. Most importantly, I could fool myself into pretending I wasn’t a dick because she’d suggested leaving, not me.
“Do you know something— you can message me, but I can’t read English.” Cocking my head, I watched Joci wiggle her phone suggestively. “You can say anything. I won’t know what it is.”
My brows rose at that, my gaze fixing on her brand-new smartphone. She had a point— my number was the only one in there, and she couldn’t read English. I’d fiddled with her settings so she couldn’t get notifications unless a number was on her contacts, too. It wouldn’t even vibrate. It’d just be ignored. Of course, it’d just be ignored, anyway.
“You’re sure you don’t mind?” Man, this was not how I expected this night to go when Joci proposed it this afternoon. If I thought things would get so out of control… well, I don’t know what I would’ve done, but— Who cares about ‘if’s when I’m in this fucked up situation because of my own stupidity? Ducking her head in a nod, Joci’s smile widened to roil my stomach.
“It’s okay. Really.” I nodded curtly, simply giving in as I threw my legs over the side of the bed. Both of us were clothed, sans shoes, but even those weren’t far. “I had a nice time.”
“I did, too. I had a great time until my brain started working again.” My grumble earned me a little giggle, and Joci grabbed my hand to squeeze. “I was an idiot. I’m sorry.”
“I knew it’d be bad. Like I said— it wasn’t how bad I thought. You’re not just dumb by yourself.” Slinging my arm around her back, I reached up through her mess of hair to knead her scalp. Her face relaxed, and she sat next to me to rest of her cheek on my shoulder. “If you want to ignore me for some time, that’s okay. I remember when I woke up. I didn’t want to look at myself either.”
“This is just so fucked up.” I couldn’t get around this situation; there was no way to avoid the harsh truth. Either, I worked through this, or I couldn’t see Joci anymore. As much as I didn’t want that to be an option, it was— and that was what made me sick to my fucking stomach.
People that had scars got them from someone or something else. Even self-harm scars were a result of some outside force. But medical professionals are supposed to improve a person’s quality of life, not just take orders and money and ignore all else.
Palming Joci’s cheek, I closed my eyes and sighed, but it did nothing to ease the tightness in my chest or the ache gripping my heart.
21
Joci
“So… call me.” Jacob nodded but didn’t move, and I glanced over my shoulder into the hotel lobby. I didn’t want anyone coming down and seeing him; no doubt, Aleksander already knew everything about Jacob, but Ophelia and Sascha I wanted left in the dark. His eyes glistened with regret, but I felt nice and light. Humming softly, I reached to flick back my hair, and he moved for the first time since we paused in front the glass doors. Gathering up all the strands, he strained a smile as he stepped closer.
“I’ll make it up to you, Joci.” My lips quirked up at that, but I kept them tightly closed as Jacob let go of my hair. Ducking to kiss me, his mouth staved away the cold that nipped at my chin. “I’ll call you.”
There was a determination in his tone that slithered into my ears and wrapped thickly around my brain, and I hummed again. Stepping back, I stuffed my hands into my pockets to feel both my phones— one Russian, and one American. Reluctantly, he turned to start down the street, his shoulders curling and gloom hanging over him that had nothing to do with the late night.
Shuffling slowly myself into the hotel, I stepped through the sliding glass doors only to pause as the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. Ophelia came rushing over, a huge smile stretching her lips, but it gradually fell when she neared. Sucking my teeth ugly, I walked past her towards the elevator.
“M— Joci—” Pausing to glance at her, I arched a brow even though it did nothing to help how supremely unapproachable I must’ve looked. She hesitated, and I clenched my jaw at the uncertainty that flashed across her face. “Is everything alright?”
Her English is so much better than mine. Ophelia didn’t have any nasty, gross scars. No missing pieces. There was nothing she couldn’t share with Sascha. She had her own money, and a job, and her parents might be dead but— fuck them, right? She was better off without them.
“I’m fine. Why? Are you going somewhere?” Turning to her to lick the roof of my mouth, I threw my thumb over my shoulder towards the elevators. Now, acting like nothing was wrong with me was effortless, and Ophelia’s expression eased. “I was going up. It’s late now.”
“Yeah, we were. Have you been out all evening?” Nodding, I rocked back on my heels as Ophelia deflated a little. “So, you probably don’t want to come with us, then? We’re going out to eat.”
“Um— I could go. I’m hungry, yeah. Where are we going?” She perked up immediately, and my stomach growled as her eyes brightened. “What?”
“Well, if you’re going to stay in America, I want to spend time with you, Joci. We won’t see each other after this.” My eyes widened in surprise, and she blushed as she reached to touch my arm over my jacket. Goosebumps washed my skin, my mouth drying when it opened only to expel air. Simply nodding dumbly, I clamped my lips shut under furrowed brows.
“Okay. I have to change.” Once again, I turned to head towards the elevator, and Ophelia didn’t try to stop me. Before Aleksander invited me to America, I thought we, she and I, could’ve been friends. Maybe, even confidants in a business where those kinds of relationships were dangerous.
Now, though, I couldn’t be Ophelia’s friend, and there was no point in trying to keep the relationship alive. In 22 days, I couldn’t exist to her, and she couldn’t exist to me. My life depended on my cutting all ties to anything remotely Russia, and Ophelia was the strongest one by far.
Jabbing the elevator button, I stared at the golden circle for the second it took the doors to slide open. Blinking hard, a breath surged into my nose when I saw Aleksander Makovich leaning on the reflective wall. Reluctance seeped into my bones, and he gestured me in without looking up from his phone.
“I know you’d rather not, but I would appreciate you telling me you’re going to fuck someone.” Tensing as the doors slid shut, I frowned as heat slithered up my neck, but Aleksander didn’t look up from his phone. After days and days of nothing but English, hearing Russia was almost strange. “You still work for me, Joci, and this isn’t a vacation trip. Next time, text me or something.”
“O— okay.” The elevator started ascending before he glanced over at me, eyes narrowed and searching.
“Didn’t go well?” Ah, what the Hell. I was so tired that I couldn’t even think of a lie, and it wouldn’t matter, anyway. Shaking my head wordlessly, I leaned against the wall to rub my face with both my hands. “The fact that you showed him is something in itself, Joci.”
“He wants me to meet his family, and I said ‘yes’… like a dumbass. I was gonna show him, but then he asked me about Thanksgiving?” Scrunching up my face as I licked my lips, the unfamiliar tingling on my tongue spreading up into my nose. “I would’ve chickened out, I think, if he didn’t.”
“I had the unfortunate circumstance to meet Sassan’s mother when I tortured her. You’ll be fine. Speaking of torture…” Why can’t he just shut up and leave me alone? It seemed silly, right now, to think such
a thing. In less than a month, I’ll be dead to Aleksander Makovich. All I had to do was stick this out. “Kiri is being sent from Russia to head things up here in America. I’ve advised her of your situation, and she’ll be watching you until your year is up. You remember Darren, right?”
“Ugh…” My frustrated groan was all the answer Makovich needed, and I nodded with a scowl as the elevator clattered to a stop. “How can I forget? He’s worse than you.”
Leaving the elevator, my mood soured long before I noticed Aleksander following me to my room. Darren Willians was a terrible asshole, arrogant and mismanaged, and I fished my keycard out of my pocket before Aleksander continued.
“This morning, Carlyle agreed to amend our contracts, so Darren will be arriving in a few hours to sign some agreements. His girlfriend is also in New York City right now. You’re going to be keeping an eye on her for me.” Pausing mid-step at the suggestive lilt in his tone, I glanced over at Aleksander as he plucked my key card from between my fingers. Closing the distance between us and my hotel room door, he swiped the card and pushed the barrier open to gesture me inside. Instant, intense cramps gripped my gut, and suspicion soured my tongue and stiffened my strides.
“You did not…” I hissed when I saw some girl sitting on the sofa, but Aleksander didn’t care enough about my discomfort even to smirk. “Are you holding her hostage or something?”
“Of course not, Joci. This is America. I can’t get away with that, especially with Santino watching me. No, she’s simply rooming with you for the time being.” My scowl darkened, and I stalked over to my suitcase to flip the top hard. “She’s not here for me, anyway. She’s Darren Willians’s acquaintance.”