by Raven Scott
I honestly felt surprised at how harshly my mom was speaking by the end of her speech.
Her diatribe paused abruptly before she sighed heavily. “There’s no shame in admitting your mistakes, even broadly. You don’t have to apologize for every little, terrible thing you did in high school. You’re 34 years old Sarah and it’s time for you to stop acting like a teenager.”
“I’m never going to apologize unless he apologizes first!” Her soft shout was full of rage.
A slight sourness cut through the chocolatey goodness clinging to my inner cheeks.
“Abuse is a two-way street— I was only like that because he’s such a stuck-up bitch, dangling in front of me that he’s better than me at everything!”
Rolling my eyes even as shock nearly stopped my heart, I stabbed a huge forkful of cake and paused with my fork halfway to my mouth. Abuse is a two-way street. Did Sarah really think that I abused her even after I started ignoring her? Maybe, if she tried to be good at something...
“That’s because he tries, Sarah. And you know what…David was right. You did this to yourself, and you don’t deserve any pity or handouts. You haven’t even been here for a day and you’re already acting like Samuel cheating on you is someone else’s fault. It’s not! It’s your fault!”
My sister gasped out with a choked sound.
I wondered if my mom had ever taken a stand with her. Considering how she turned out, I don’t think so. Reece was right. Sisters are terrible. Even if Sarah apologized to me and I doubted she would, I wouldn’t accept it. Memories of high school flooded my mind as I sat back against the step behind me. Sarah had spread a rumor that I was gay and easy. Sarah let Samuel beat me up once after I scored higher than her on pre-SATS. When I started applying for colleges, Sarah tried to sabotage me by calling, pretending to be our mom and trying to withdraw the applications.
Thankfully, I was 18 by then, so she couldn’t do jack shit about it. She tried to change the email addresses, tried to steal my mail, and would try to fuck with me when I had something scheduled. She’d lodge anonymous complaints at my job, trying to get me fired. She even stole my nice shoes once, knowing I had an important meeting. And she had been in her late 20s at the time.
Nothing had really changed since high school with her.
Irritation grappled my heart in a vice. This was a bad way to start this... this communal living situation.
16
Vanessa
“Hello?” Rolling over groggily, I raised my arm over my head and stretched my legs with a soft groan. “Do you even know what time it is?”
“It’s almost 1 in the afternoon, baby.” David’s sultry chuckle laced with humor. “You’re not much of a morning person, are you?”
My lips picked up before a yawn tightened my chest. “Not really. What’s up?” Languishing in bed, I didn’t bother opening my eyes. “Didn’t go well last night, huh?”
David sighed softly in my ear. “I didn’t call to complain, but... yeah. My mom and my sister fought all night, and not quietly. I got my phone this morning and went to a coffee shop to set it up, rather than risk getting caught in the middle of an argument.”
I could tell by his tone that David truly didn’t want to complain, but I kinda liked listening.
“Anyway, I was wondering if you wanted to meet up for lunch?”
“You can come over and I’ll make us lunch? I don’t want to put the effort into getting presentable.” Sniffing a little, I rolled onto my side to grab the clock on my nightstand, and true to form— it was almost 1pm. “If you want to.”
“Of course, I do. There’s something I wanted to talk to you about, anyway, Vanessa. Text me your address and I’ll let you know how long it’ll take.”
I hummed softly in acknowledgment as my brain sluggishly caught up with his words.
“Were you up late last night?” he asked.
“No, I just don’t get to sleep in. I woke up around 5ish, then went back to sleep. Saturdays are a Godsend.” I put the phone on speaker and opened a text with David’s new number and the line crackled faintly. “Where are you right now?”
“Uh— I’m in Manhattan. We live in Brooklyn, so I wanted to put some distance between myself and the drama.”
My brows twitched in pleased surprise as I texted David my address before turning off the speaker and sitting up.
“It’d be nice if I could afford a place in Manhattan. It’d make the commute shorter, at the very least.”
“It’s overpriced and overrated.”
He chuckled lightly.
I ran my hand through my hair and arched my back sharply. “Okay. I’m gonna hang up, but text me when you’re here, and I’ll let you up.”
“Sure. I’m not too far. Ten minutes, maybe. Do you want me to pick anything up?”
“Um, no. I have food. What do you like? I can make chicken parm... salad... I have a steak, we could have steak salad?” He agreed quickly, and we said our goodbyes.
I threw my legs over the side of my bed. Grabbing a night dress off the floor, I couldn’t be bothered to actually get dressed. It wasn’t like David didn’t know what I looked like underneath, anyway. “I wonder what he wants to talk about.”
Who am I kidding? He’s going to tell me we should stop seeing each other, so he doesn’t jeopardize his career at Brass Herring. I mean, I wasn’t stupid. David started work on Monday, so he needed all his focus and effort on his job, not on me. In no way was I offended; at least he was ditching me for something important, and that was admirable. Not to mention everything going on with his sister... the last thing David needed right now was to get involved with his boss, no less.
Even though I understood, I couldn’t help but be a little miffed. I really liked David and obviously, he liked me too. Briefly, I’d toyed with getting him poached, but I knew none of my business contacts would give him a shot with no experience.
My thoughts consumed me as I went about my usual Saturday morning routine of not bothering with my hair or washing my face. Only my phone ringing shrilly broke me from my trance. I walked out of the bathroom after staring blankly at the swirls in the vanity for a few minutes too long.
Wandering across my apartment to unlock the elevator, my heart beat fast when the doors slid open, well-oiled and quiet.
David looked tired but happy, his smile gentle as he stepped off the elevator. He wrapped an arm heavily over my shoulders, pulling me into a deep, heavy kiss.
My eyelids fluttered closed in bliss.
“Last night was killer,” mumbling against my chin, David rested his forehead against my shoulder to release a gust of a sigh.
Holding his sides, I hummed softly and breathed in his smell.
“I don’t understand how someone can be so fucking self-centered.”
“Yeah... trust me, I get it. My boss, Carlyle is like a psychopath, or close to it.”
David drew back with a curious expression.
My lips quirked a little, as I nodded. “It’s true. He’s infallible, always right…which is frustrating because he is always right. I don’t know if he’s self-centered exactly, but the world definitely revolves around him.”
“Ugh...I honestly don’t get why the losers are the ones with the biggest egos. My sister’s not even a manager at her job or anything and she’s literally worked the same position for over a decade. Then she complains about it to no end and blames everyone but herself because she’s poor as shit and can’t afford anything other than bills, and even that’s tough to get from her.” His greyish-blue eyes roiled with apology when he finally shut up. “I don’t wanna be that person that does nothing but complains. I’m sorry.”
I flexed my fingers against his sides. “Everyone has hard times and that’s okay. At least, you don’t have to pay someone an exorbitant amount of money to listen. I will do it for free.” Patting his chest, I pulled back with a smile and grabbed his hand to head for the kitchen. “So, were you up all night, or...?”
“I m
anaged a few hours, I think, but it might as well not count. After my mom left for work this morning, I thought it’d die down, but then my sister decided to slam everything and then call her best friend and loudly lie about all the fights that happened last night.”
My heart ached for him and I let go of his hand as hardwood gave way to pristine, white tiled flooring.
David sat on a stool at the island. “Do you normally sleep in so late on the weekends, Ness?”
I made my way to the fridge to grab the singular steak I’d bought the other day. “I try to, but it’s not usually successful. I’ve just gotten so used to my schedule.” Shrugging lightly, I ducked under the counter to grab a cast-iron pan, and David was smiling when I popped up again. “Your sister sounds really absorbed. Her boyfriend cheated on her, right? Why doesn’t she just find someone else to share rent with? What about her lease?”
“They had this crappy month-to-month in, like, Oakland Gardens, or somewhere over there. A few weeks ago, before they split up, Sam bumped into me and was the one that robbed me. I didn’t bother telling my sister because there’s no point, but... It’s only been a day, and she’s already trying to twist the story to it being about how no one loves her, and Sam is a piece of shit... as if she didn’t make the conscious choice to stay with him.”
Scrunching up my nose at this, I nodded as I turned on the stove. I liked listening to David as just his voice made me feel good.
He paused briefly before continuing, “I knew this would be a disaster, but I didn’t think it’d be so bad so fast.”
“You don’t sound surprised, though. Has she tried to say anything to you?”
“Not to me, but she sure as shit has a lot to say about me.” Grumbling unhappily, David huffed loudly.
A small smile stretched my lips. When I blinked, I could picture him pouting, and he was cute.
“Some of it is so dumb, too,” he went on. “Like how, last night, she got on Mom’s case about kicking her out and letting me stay. Talkin’ a whole lotta shit about how I’m a 30-year-old living with his mom and have never had my own apartment, and how I’m the loser for it.”
“That’s stupid.” I glanced over my shoulder, his pout in full affect on his face, and my smile widened a little. “New York City is a hard place to afford. You’d think she’d understand that, living on her own.”
“Especially because, in my opinion, it’s way worse to move out when you have a minimum wage job and a shitty boyfriend, and then come crawling back. When I got back last night, the movers were still there just standing around, occasionally touching a box. All my sister brought was some clothes and other small stuff. It was a 45 minute job— an hour, tops.”
Dumping a spoonful of butter into the pan, I grabbed the salt, pepper, onion and garlic powder.
David sunk down to hold his chin on his forearms. His grey eyes sparkled under the lightning, his frown twisting in disgust. “It wouldn’t even tick me off so much if she said it to my face, too.”
“People like that are the worst.” I kept my responses short because I wanted David to get it all out. He seemed so frustrated, and for this to happen right when he starts in brand new career in a position he’d never held before... well, he said it best. The universe was testing him. I happened to have a lot experience with that too, so why not help?
17
Vanessa
Threading my fingers through David’s lush hair, I breathed deeply, evenly, my mind not replaying the horrible moments in my life behind my eyelids. His arm slung over my waist, drawing lazy circles on my outer thigh. Every time he almost fell asleep, his foot wiggled and woke him up, then he’d inhale and start circling again.
It was so adorable.
“I don’t wanna waste time sleeping with you.”
His sultry, slow rasp tugged a lazy hum from me.
David shuffled closer to me to nudge his knee between my legs. “You know, Ness... napping together promotes trust and comfort. I read it online and the internet never lies.”
“I could do this often.” I could feel him smiling, so warm and tender. I scratched his scalp gingerly. He shivered, thoroughly enjoying it, and this feeling... it was better than the sex we had. It was better than the heat of the club…better than the exhilaration at the waffle place.
“Speaking of... I want to talk about Monday. I think we should slow down.”
I gasped lightly, my heart stuttering at his bluntness.
David watched me under heavy lids when I cracked mine open. His fingertips left my leg to caress my cheek, and warmth skittered down my neck. “I can’t jeopardize this job, but I don’t want to just drop you, either, Ness. So, I was thinkin’... maybe, we can keep it strictly weekends?”
“Oh... I thought you were going to break up with me.”
He smiled lopsidedly.
I sniffed a big breath as I kneaded his scalp.
Worming closer at my mumble, David kissed my cheek with feathery lips.
His warmth seeped through my shirt. “I know. Whatever you think is best for you is fine with me, David. I thought about it, too, but I can’t pawn you off unless you get some experience.”
“Yeah, that’s exactly what I was thinking, too. I read through your company policy handbook, and I don’t want to be an exception just because you like my butt.”
Chuffing a laugh, I nodded lazily.
David’s lopsided grin grew wider and he stroked my cheek with his thumb. His eyes glistened brilliantly with the pure bliss of the moment, sucking me in and holding me tight. “It’s not sneaking around if the boss knows about it, right?”
“Right.” I buried my face under his chin.
David grumbled happily against my forehead.
My chest tightened and I took a huge breath, dense with his smell before opening my mouth again. This was my chance to clear the air; there wouldn’t be a better moment, I didn’t think. “You know, David... I was raped. You know that already. But... it happened almost 13 years ago, now. I was 17 and it was... it was bad. I had navigated my way to New York City, somehow. I was riding the train around and around, and then...”
Cupping the back of my head, David curled up a little tighter around me, securing me in his arms.
Blinking back the sting in my eyes, my chest ached as my heart beat harder and faster. Gulping down the dense lump in my throat, I cleared it roughly before continuing, “There were three of them. They were all drunk, really drunk, and there weren’t many other people in the car. They were loud, so people started going to other cars. I couldn’t make myself move.” Inhaling sharply through my nose, I closed my eyes, and memories dredged up from the very depths of my mind. “My parents may have been really fucked up with their religious views, but they stuck to them. I’d never gotten so much as a whiff of alcohol before. I’d never heard about it unless my parents were talking about someone else, and how drinking was a sin and all that.”
David remained quiet as he held me close.
“But... anyway, they were really drunk and I just... sat there. Then, one of them sat next to me and put his arm around me, and I still just sat there. I don’t know why. I wasn’t afraid, exactly. I guess it was like a mix of curiosity and nervousness. But... he grabbed my head and shoved my face in his crotch.” My lip twitched at my own naivety, and I exhaled slowly. Leaving his hair, my fingers covered his, and my stomach roiled dangerously as the phantom stench flooded my nose. “It was disgusting. It was— it was like he poured a whole bottle of French Au Dieu on himself. I couldn’t hear anything. The smell made my eyes water, and I-I don’t know what stopped me from fighting back. They were all drunk. It should’ve been easy to do... something. Anything. One guy filmed it.”
David’s breath hitched, his face burning my crown as he struggled to contain his enraged shivers. He seemed to be grinding his teeth, his muscles trembling with the effort he poured into not squeezing me to death.
“The other guy held my head down and the third one held my arms back and—I ha
d never had sex before. I only knew what my mom told me and it sure as shit, didn’t involve multiple people with whiskey dick. When it was over, I could taste it... the cologne and t-the...” A shiver of disgust jerked my shoulders, and I sniffed a hard breath as I forced myself to keep talking, “A- anyway... I got off the train and found a payphone. That’s when I met Carlyle Santino— he gave me money, stood by me while I called my mom. I mean, even then, in that kind of situation... Carlyle gives you this vibe that you’re safe as long as you don’t fuck with him. As long as you are good and listen and don’t cause trouble, you’re on his good side. He must’ve taken pity on me or something, hearing my mom yell at me over the phone. He took me to the hospital, and for a long time, I thought I was in love with him. He did a lot for me. After a while, though, I realized that he can’t feel love, and that I didn’t love him. By then, I learned to read, and I’d been his secretary for a couple years, so he said ‘it’s time to go out on your own, and I have the perfect test for you’. Years and years go by, and I find out that, one by one, these guys all die.”
The silence was deafening.
David pulled back to stare at me with pain and tears glimmering in his eyes. So softly, he kissed my lips, his own trembling.
But it was the anger behind them that made me feel good. I snuggled closer to him.
He started running his fingers through my hair ever so gently. “Do you feel cheated or anything because they’re dead?” His rough voice had a bite at the end.
I shook my head and took a steadying breath.
Surprise twitched his brows, his eyes darkening like clouds thick with thunder and lightning.
“No... because they all died horribly. I’m sure there are people to mourn them, but I’m not one of those people.”