by Raven Scott
“I think, right now... this would be a good opportunity to eat a lot of junk food.” His eyes blazed with earnestness, a raspy, sultry quality in his voice that also tinged with pain.
Squeezing his hands, I nodded firmly.
David rested his forehead against mine to exhale hotly down the bridge of my nose. “It’s the weekend, and my sister’s crazy while my mom’s cooking too much... and I just want to have some peace here with you, Vanessa.”
“Yeah... peace... that sounds nice.” Wrapping my arms around his neck, I held David tight to me. My eyelids fluttered closed, a huge weight lifting off my shoulders. “I’m sorry, David.”
His powerful hands pressed against my back. “I’m sorry, too.”
Squeezing a sigh thickened with his smell, David ducked his head into my neck and this moment was pure peace.
22
Vanessa
“What did he do?”
Humming shortly around my huge mouthful of greasy, wonderful, meat lovers pizza, I glanced away from the TV. We were watching some horror series about a virus and zombies.
David swallowed his bite before speaking up again, “Sam. What did he do when you grabbed him?”
“Uh...” Uncertainty tainted my tone. I chewed and chewed through globs of cheese, bacon and sausage. Sniffling hard, I grabbed my bottle of soda off the coffee table to wash down my mouthful. “He said that whatever it was, he didn’t do it. But after I showed him the video and made him listen to himself on the phone with a crisis counselor confessing, he didn’t say much of anything.”
“I bet there’s a lot of women–and men–out there that wish they could do what you did to the person that hurt them. How’d you feel?”
Part of me was dying, wishing David wouldn’t ask me about it, but part of me wanted to open up about it. Who could I talk to? Landry had been there and he was only invested on my behalf. David had a real grimy beef with this and there was solidarity in talking to him about it.
“I didn’t feel powerful or anything. I just felt... good— he’s getting what he deserves. I made him feel what I felt, and then... I cut off his cock and left him to die, then burned him and the train car to the ground. The only evidence now that anything ever happened is on my laptop.” I shrugged, pulling up my knees to balance my plate on them as I poised my pizza in front of my face. The glistening cheese made my mouth water, and I licked my lips heavily. “It’s not relieving. It’s not anything. He’s gone, though and can’t hurt anyone ever again. It took almost ten years, but all the affairs he’s had since me were consensual. Or he paid for them, more accurately.”
“Doesn’t surprise me. The only woman stupid enough to genuinely put up with him was my sister. She was the popular one and he was some idiot on the football team, you know, but not the popular star or anything. When I was a freshman, she was a junior, and not for nothing, but her friends always looked really uncomfortable. I think they were only friends with her because they didn’t want to be her victims.”
“She had friends at her party in Vegas?” I stated.
David snorted roughly, pulling apart his garlic crust with jerky movements. “My mom footed the bill for that and according to her, Sarah had to basically bribe two coworkers and Sam’s sister and that girl’s best friend into going with free shit and no expectations. It was the only thing my mom got roped into paying for though, thankfully. It’s not like my mom has all the money in the world, and she sure as shit wasn’t going to go into debt over a wedding.”
I took another bite of my slice as David spoke, nodding in understanding.
He leaned forward to grab the container of marinara sauce and poured a little onto his plate. “Even if she was so inclined, why pay for it if you’re not going to show up? You know why it took so long for Sarah to get Sam to propose to her? Because even he knew she’s a cunt and didn’t want to be stuck with her.”
“That’s why you couldn’t move out? You had to help your mom get back on track?” My heart warmed when he nodded, unabashed, and I flexed my toes against the sofa cushion. “You’re a good son.”
“Thank you. I try.” I smiled, stabilizing my plate when he elbowed my thigh gingerly.
“You don’t have to answer, Vanessa, but... what about your mom? You haven’t talked to her since the phone call?”
“Not personally. I may have been illiterate and stupid compared to most 16-year olds, but my parents were fully functioning members of society. My dad was a pastor, and my mom had a job... I can’t remember what it is anymore. I haven’t thought about them in a long time because... I suppose the argument could be made that... I may have paid someone to— to give them their wish to meet God.”
His wide eyes met mine.
I puffed out my lips as uncertainty sloshed up my throat and glued my tongue to the roof of my mouth. “It’s actually... it’s pretty easy.”
“... Rich people really do play by different moral standards...” David grumbled more to himself, but the moment slid by on pins and needles fairly quickly before he blustered a sigh. “Okay. So, consensus is Sam deserved it. Your parents deserved it. I guess that’s really the crux of the matter. I can handle that, I think.”
“You don’t—I mean, you’re not upset you can—I don’t know, rationalize it? So easy?”
He stuffed his garlic bread crust into his mouth, giving himself time to think.
I sat back. Shuffling my plate into my lap, I enjoyed the silence as I continued munching on my pizza. I still couldn’t wrap my brain around how easily David just accepted that I killed a man.
That man had raped me and practically tortured David, but still...
“Everyone wants to believe they’d do the right thing, but the fact of the matter is anyone that thinks they’d do the right thing, probably wouldn’t. People are cowards by nature. We don’t risk our lives and our happiness for other people, especially strangers. So, when something like rape happens, we tell ourselves all sorts of things to make it less wrong. That way, we don’t feel like such shit. You should’ve left the train car. Or someone else in the car should’ve helped you. It’s not my responsibility to punish Sam for something he did that has no direct effect on me. It happened so long ago, why can’t you move on? That’s how most people think, and societally, it’s not wrong, but personally, it is. Blame is a moral dilemma and I’m not such a fucking asshole as to think I have any right to judge you or your decision.”
I openly gaped at him in shock.
David reached to rub the back of his neck as his voice roughened in self-reflection, “To be honest, there’s been plenty of times in my life where I got the feeling that a woman was uncomfortable. And I didn’t do anything because I didn’t want the drama, or I was in a hurry, or I just... simply didn’t act because it’s not my business. If she wanted out, she could say something or walk away, or some other stupid excuse, not to get involved.”
Maybe, it was only because of my experience that David admitted this shamefully.
Picking my jaw up off my plate, I set it on the coffee table to reach for him.
Hanging his head, he sort of toppled into my chest, burying his face between my breasts as he gripped my hips tightly.
Holding him to me, I buried my nose in his luscious hair as I laid back and wrapped my legs around him. Somehow, it wasn’t about my egregious ignorance of human moral alone, but also David’s lack of it. “People suck, but you don’t.”
Smiling against my chest at my murmur, David lifted his lips to mine to kiss me deeply. He poured every ounce of passion into it.
I threaded my fingers through his hair with a soft moan. “I’m glad you took a leap and landed in front of me.”
“I’m glad my nervousness came off as humor.”
Giggling as he hoisted himself up on powerful arms, I blushed at his boyish grin.
He grinned. “Since we’re on this truth train, I have a confession to make. I really do wanna date you.”
“Totally blindsided me here. I don’t k
now what to say. This is all so sudden.” I made a mock surprised face at him.
Smiling broadly, David kissed all over my face animatedly, and I wiggled and laughed before he sat back on his knees. Staring down at me expectantly, he pursed his lips thinly.
Sitting up myself, I nodded firmly. “Yeah. We can go on a date. But you better not blow it.”
“Awesome!” David grabbed my arms to haul me off the sofa, and he held my hands in his to twirl and jig us around.
My breath hitched and I started laughing at the silly absurdity of it, I swished my hips, and he wrapped our arms around me to hold me to his front. Sighing against my neck, his warmth eased the knots in my gut.
He pressed his palm against my abdomen. “You don’t suck either, Vanessa.”
“I’m glad we’re on the same page.” Tilting my head, my lips tingled when David cupped my jaw, and our kiss sent shocks through my cheek. Sinking into his firm chest, my soft moan escaped the seal of our mouths when he smiled. I could do this every day... this actually felt really nice.
To depend on him for happiness. Maybe, not all of it, but some of it.
23
David
“Mom? You okay?” Poking my head in the kitchen, I frowned lightly when my mom jumped at my call, whirling around to gaze at me with wide, tired eyes. “I’m back. How are you doing? I tried texting you last night and this morning, but you never replied.”
“Oh, David, I’m okay. It’s just... I don’t know. I was hoping you’d bring your girlfriend back, so I could apologize.”
My lips quirked up a little. “How was your weekend?”
My mom shook her head as I stepped into the kitchen fully. “It was great. I know this isn’t what you want to do, but we need to talk about Sarah.” She cast me a pained expression.
I leaned on the counter by the sink to cross my arms firmly over my chest. Discomfort of my own wiggled between my shoulder blades, but we couldn’t avoid this conversation. “Mom... She attacked someone and she lied to herself so much about Sam’s disappearance that she believes it. She’s not right in the head. Sarah needs help— professional help.”
“People that don’t want help can’t be helped, David. I won’t just abandon her. You don’t know how hard it is to lose the person you love.”
My cheek twitched and I inhaled deeply as I tried to keep an open mind.
Turning to her meatballs, my mom scooped out mix out of a pot to form the ball and set it in a cast iron pan. “Sarah’s my daughter and you’ll understand if you have kids of your own, but just like I wouldn’t turn my back on you, I won’t turn my back on her. If she needs help, I’ll help her.”
“... I got a job offer to transfer to another subsidiary owned by the guy that owns Brass Herring Solutions, Mom, and I don’t know if I’m going to take it anyway... but I’m not comfortable with you being alone with Sarah. If I take this job, I’ll be so busy I’ll basically live at the office. It’ll be worth it in the end, but not if you get hurt because Sarah’s fucking crazy.” I really didn’t want to tell my mom about Carlyle Santino’s job offer because, frankly, I didn’t know what to do. I hadn’t even begun to think about it, or weigh the pros and cons.
My mom turned around, her face stretching in a smile and pride shimmering in her eyes.
I shot her a pointed look. “What if Sarah attacks you for some imagined transgression?”
“That won’t happen. She’s under a lot of stress right now with cancelling the wedding and Sam disappearing on her. Sarah has every right to be upset, the man she spent half her life with ran off. And yes, it’s very unfortunate that Sarah took her frustration out on your girlfriend, but I don’t think a little leeway is a bad thing right now. Everyone knows Samuel cheated on her. He didn’t make it a secret and she was in denial. Now that he’s off doing God knows what with over-priced prostitutes or something, maybe she’ll get better, and that doesn’t happen overnight, David.”
I ground my teeth as I rolled my mom’s argument around in my head, the sizzling of meatballs became white noise in the background. Of course, at least some of Sarah’s behavior could be attributed to Samuel, but at what point did his bad influence become her responsibility?
Sarah wasn’t some goodie-goodie that fell into the wrong crowd and couldn’t get out. She was the wrong crowd, and always had been. Even when we were little, long before high school agitated things, Sarah was a bully, insecure, a huge liar. And it got worse as our parents started growing distant from each other and from us.
My dad was far too anal, a perfectionist, but he had a few redeeming qualities. And one of those was an intense hatred for liars. Catching Sarah in a lie, which happened almost every day, my dad was extremely firm in trying to curtail it. And by ‘firm’ of course, I mean brutal punishments that probably exacerbated the lying rather than made Sarah stop.
Sarah’s lies got more elaborate and less outlandish, until they were just believable at first. Once she started to trip up, she’d cover herself just enough, and on and on it went.
“I’m not saying to drop her like a wet sack, Mom. I’m just worried that she’ll escalate the issue. That’s all. If she can attack Vanessa for some delusional, made-up notion... Like, you realize that, right? That Sarah is delusional convincing herself that Vanessa would ever...” Trailing off, I shook my head. My mom’s silence flooded the kitchen to make it hard to breathe. “I just want you to be careful. Sarah’s not okay. If she convinced herself a stranger slept with her loser boyfriend, what else is she capable of telling herself?”
“I am being careful, David. I even did something I never thought I’d do and called your father.”
I sucked in a shocked breath and straightened my shoulders.
My mom gusted a tired sigh. “I can’t do this by myself and I know that. And you’re my boy, David. It’s not your responsibility to worry about my safety. So, I thought... if Sarah wants to act like she’s still in high school... she can be treated like she’s still in high school. And if there’s one person that’s great at making you feel juvenile and stupid, it’s your father.”
“Dad’s coming here? Like, physically... going to be in the same city as you? What?” Horror softened my voice.
My mom jutted out her chin to nod.
I covered my mouth to hide my scowl. “How’d you get him to agree to that?”
“David... honey, your dad isn’t a bad man and despite our troubles, he wasn’t a bad father. He loves you and he loves Sarah, and just because he’s not really good at saying so, doesn’t make it less true. Besides, I told him that if he came, I would drop alimony.”
Barking a laugh devoid of humor at that last part, I rubbed the back of my neck roughly.
My mom dropped another meatball with a flourish. “I don’t need his money anymore. I only needed him to help me pay for your college and this place, but I paid it off last year. I make enough now to afford it, especially with your help. Your father’s alimony was going to be cut off next August, but I knew he’d take the opportunity to save himself a few thousand dollars. Sarah is his daughter and I’m sure, he doesn’t want her to screw up irreparably, either.”
“That...that sounds like Dad.” My dad had a good heart, he was just a dick about it. “For real, Mom... It’s one thing to think Sarah’s not as bad as she is—”
“It’s another thing to think she’s worse than she is, David.” Cutting me off, my mom turned to me fully, and shot me a firm look. “I promise, if I feel unsafe, I’ll do something about it, but until then... Sarah is my daughter, and I’m going to try to help her as much as I can.”
Holding my hands up in surrender, I almost expected my mom to start waving her spatula at me, but she just turned to face the stove. My chest tightened and my own desires balanced on the tip of my tongue. I want to move out. I don’t want to be involved in anything involving Sarah. But if I leave and she goes off the deep end, the guilt will be crushing.
“How was your weekend with your girlfriend? How’s she d
oing? Is she okay?” My mom had already asked that question.
I took the change in subject anyway. Arguing with her about my sister wasn’t going to get farther, anyway.
“Does she know about your job offer?”
“Vanessa’s okay. We talked a lot, but not about the offer. She knows about it, yeah. She was actually at the meeting where it was proposed to me. I don’t know what I’m going to do about it, though.” Vanessa and I hadn’t actually talked about Carlyle’s offer the entire weekend. I ran my hand through my hair absently. “It’d be great to succeed, but I don’t know if I can.”
“Well, you’ll never know if you don’t try. If you’re being offered the job, you must seem like a proper candidate.”
My lips twisted at her response. When I blinked, I could see Carlyle’s dead-panned stare and almost kingly composure. Definitely not someone I wanted to get on the bad side of, and I had no doubt—Carlyle had a bad side. Actually, I had a nagging feeling that Vanessa had a bad side, too. Now, when I thought about it… Reece did threaten to kill me. “I don’t know. I have a month or so to think on it before he wants an answer. The thing is, he didn’t discuss salary or anything, so I’m not sure what to do from here.” Leaning against the counter again, I rubbed my jaw thoughtfully. “I’ll have to ask Vanessa. She’s sort of our go-between. He said something about drawing up a contract, but I don’t know exactly what that means.”
So much seemed to be going on so suddenly in my life that I could barely keep up. Vanessa admitting to killing Samuel for raping her... definitely not something I wanted to think on too much. This incredibly vague job offer by a dude that made me want to crawl under the table and hide.
I wasn’t going to judge Vanessa and this job was probably a once in a lifetime chance. An ache sprung up behind my eyes as my mind went back and forth between the issues. I reached to pinch the bridge of my nose, ducking my head with a slight shake.