by Lina Langley
“You did,” Eli said. “I just wasn’t sure whether to believe you.”
“When have I ever lied to you?”
Eli shook his head, laughing. “You haven’t, yet, but I haven’t given you enough time.”
“Seems like an easy enough thing to fix,” Max said, his gaze right on Eli’s face.
“I didn’t know that it needed fixing,” Eli said, his eyes bright.
Max almost reached out to touch his cheek right then, which had taken on a red tone that Max remembered from the night before when they were in bed, though it wasn’t nearly as intense. Eli took a deep breath. “What?”
Max licked his lips. “Nothing,” Max said, his hand hovering in the air next to Eli’s face. Eli was about to lean into his touch when they were interrupted by a waitress with waters, which neither one of them had asked for. Max dropped his hand down immediately so that it landed on the soft laminated paper menus.
“I’m so sorry to interrupt,” the slim waitress in her early twenties said, her hair in a bun on top of her head, her eyes wide. “Do you want me to give you some more time to make a decision?”
Eli shook his head. “No, no, it’s okay, we’re ready to order.”
Max cocked his head, staring at Eli.
“Great,” the waitress said, taking a little yellow pad out of her apron and grabbing the pen from behind her ear. For a fancy establishment, Max absently thought, this place definitely had some greasy spoon influence. “What kind I get you?”
“We’re both having milkshakes,” he said. “Do you like chocolate, strawberry or vanilla?”
Max opened his mouth to say that he didn’t want a milkshake, to remind Eli that he got stupid when he consumed sugar early in the morning. From the glint in Eli’s eyes, though, he knew about it. This was a challenge and Max was going to rise to it.
“Chocolate, please.”
The waitress smiled.
“Strawberry for me,” Eli said. “And for breakfast, how about today’s special? You eat meat, right?”
Max nodded. “Sure,” he said. “What’s today’s special?”
“A Mexican breakfast burrito,” the waitress said. “Is that what you want?”
“Sure,” Max said, waving his hand in front of his face. “I trust him.”
She put her hand over her heart. “You guys are my favorite couple today.”
Eli opened his mouth to say something but Max smiled. “Thank you,” he said. He grabbed Max’s hand again and squeezed it. “That means a lot to us.”
“And coffee? On the house. Because you guys are so cute.”
“Thank you,” he said, looking at her name tag. “Alex.”
“You’re welcome,” she said. “By the way, I love your work.”
Max licked his lips. If she knew him, and he had played along with her misconception, that meant that he might have just gotten himself in trouble. He hoped that he hadn’t. Maybe no one would believe her if she brought it up.
When the waitress walked away from them, Eli turned his gaze on Max. His brow was furrowed and his voice barely audible when he spoke. “What do you think that you’re doing?”
Max cocked his head, his heart in his throat. He didn’t understand why Eli would be upset about this. If anything, he should be happy. Max had just done the best that he could to assure him that he was just with him. This should have shown him that he was serious. If anyone had anything to lose then, it was him. He frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, what are you doing?” Eli said, his tone just as angry as a second ago.
“She was just… I don’t know,” Max replied. “I just thought it would be funny.”
“Funny,” Eli repeated dryly.
“I didn’t mean to make you feel bad.”
“Well, it did.”
“Okay,” Max said, taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that you wouldn’t like that.”
“It’s not—liking it is not the issue, okay?”
“What’s the issue, then?” Max said, taking a sip of his water. The waitress arrived before Eli could speak, putting mugs of hot coffee in front of them, which Max was infinitely grateful for. He found that he made much more sense in the morning after a cup of coffee.
When they were done adding cream and sugar to their coffees, Eli took a deep breath. “It’s not that I don’t like it. The issue is that I do.”
Max opened his mouth to speak but Eli waved his hand in front of his face to stop him.
“Look,” Eli said. “I’m not an idiot. I understand exactly what we are. Last night was… it was amazing, okay? I really enjoyed it.”
“I enjoyed it too.”
“Right,” Eli said. “I’m glad. But I don’t want to get ahead of myself. Regardless of how you feel about being out of my league, you and I are very different people.”
“I was never interested in hooking up with myself,” Max said.
Eli smiled. “Your loss,” he said. “But no, that’s not what I meant. I’m—I’m an imaginative person. I’m letting my imagination run wild here and it’s not good for me. Look, Max, I get it. How I feel about you is not your responsibility.”
Max raised his eyebrows, his heartbeat quickening. He tried to look cool when he asked the next question, though he didn’t feel like he was cool at all. There was something in Eli’s expression that Max wasn’t able to process. He wanted to tell him that he was also into this idea of them being together, but he didn’t think that he could.
“No, don’t apologize,” Eli said, as if he could read Max’s mind. “I get it. You’re just doing what you have to do. The issue, right now, is that you’re making me feel like we’re a couple.”
Max swallowed. “Why is that an issue?”
“Because you’re…”
“I’m what? If you say out of your league, I’m going to throw my water in your face.”
Max shook his head, smiling but not very sincerely. “I don’t like the idea that you and me are a couple.”
Max’s eyes widened. He leaned back, his palms sweating. He didn’t want to be upset about this. It was just breakfast. He also got why Eli didn’t want to think that this was anything more than a one-night stand. “Okay,” he said. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I’m sorry.”
“No, you’re misunderstanding me,” Eli said. “It’s not that I was uncomfortable. I was, I don’t know, too comfortable. I really like the idea of being with you.”
“Eli—”
He put his hand up so that Max wasn’t able to speak. “It’s not realistic,” Eli said. “And after my last break-up, I’m not very excited to have my heart broken again.”
“Your heart broken?”
“Shit,” he said, shaking his head. “See, this is the problem. I’m already being so dramatic about it.”
“You’re not being dramatic.”
“No, I am,” Eli said. “And you would have every right to call me out if that was what you wanted to do. My parents always said I had a flair for the dramatic.”
“I like to hear you talk.”
Eli closed his eyes. He looked wounded. “See, that’s the issue,” Eli said. “You’re so nice to me. So sweet.”
“Is that a problem?”
“Yes!” Eli said. “Because you’re kind of—fuck, you’re amazing, okay? After Peter broke up with me, I didn’t think that I would ever find someone that I liked enough again. And last night, if that was any indication of what every night with you would be like, I would write poetry about it.”
Max nodded. “I get it.”
“And that’s the issue, isn’t it? Because there aren’t going to be any more nights like last night. I’m going to remain in Sierra, you will continue your life touring and you’re going to forget about me. And I don’t care, I mean it. I understood exactly what I was getting into when I went into your hotel room. Like I said, Max, I’m not a stupid man.”
“I never said that you were.”
“But being aro
und you, it makes me feel stupid,” he replied.
“You’re not.”
“You and me, we’re that one magical night,” Eli said. “That one night that I won’t ever forget. That I might measure my next lovers up against and it won’t be fair to them. I don’t want you to make fun of me because of this or to think that I’m a crazy stalker, but when you pretend that we’re a couple, it makes me feel a little like… like hoping is okay. And I don’t want to feel like hoping is okay if it isn’t.”
Max wanted to tell him that hoping was okay, but he didn’t think that he could. Eli was right. There were parts of his life that he couldn’t give up and one of them was touring. He couldn’t stay with him, take him out on dates, give him the attention that he deserved. Max was consistently a terrible partner. It was often out of his hands and he didn’t want to inflict that on Eli, who seemed to Max like a nice person. Max could also tell that Max deserved better. “I’m sorry,” Max said. “I got carried away too.”
“It’s okay,” Eli said, flashing him a smile. “It’s easy to forget, right?”
“Forget what?”
“That we can’t be together,” Eli said, casting his gaze down toward his cup of coffee. “It feels so right when we are.”
“Yeah,” Max said. He took a sip of his coffee, which was far too hot, and then looked straight at Eli, taking in his features. He looked younger during the day. It was partially that there was no product on his hair and his eyes were wide and shining. His eyelashes were long and curly, and Max couldn’t help but feel slightly jealous of them. “It feels very right.”
“Oh good,” Eli said. “I’m glad it’s not just me.”
“It’s definitely not just you,” Max replied. “So how about we do this? We talk. Then you let me take you out today.”
“What? Why?”
“Because I enjoy imagining that we can be together too,” Max said. “And I don’t want to shatter that illusion yet. You said you had the day off, for a change, I have the day off too. I would like to spend it with you.”
Eli’s eyes widened. “You mean that?”
“Of course,” Max said. “What would you like to do?”
“Something ridiculous,” Eli replied, a smile on his face. “You’re a rock star, after all.”
Max shook his head. “I was thinking of going to a fairground or something, but if you want to skydive, that’s cool too—”
“No!” Eli quickly said. “No skydiving. I’m, uh, not into heights.”
“Funnel cake?”
“Definitely into a funnel cake,” Eli replied. “A fairground sounds good.”
That was all that either one of them needed. After they had decided to spend the rest of the day together, conversation seemed to flow a lot more easily. Max told Eli about his family, about his love of music, about learning to play guitar when he was a little boy after one of his neighbors had given him an acoustic hand-me-down. Eli talked about why he was in Sierra. He’d had a relatively successful run with his last play, but he was tired, and after his break-up, he needed time to regroup.
He had gone to his hometown to write his next play but he was struggling. Max had no idea how to help with writer’s block, but he nodded and listened, and by the time Eli was done, he seemed to feel a little better. Eli only interrupted himself to look at the woman bringing them the bill, but Max grabbed it quickly and charged it to his room.
“Business expenses,” he told Eli with a toothy smile.
Eli shook his head, laughing, and kept talking. He told Max that he had a folder of ideas and that none of them felt right. Max commiserated—he had a bunch of songs that he had started writing that had never materialized into anything, or if they had, it hadn’t been anything good. Neither one of them wanted to have dessert, but it didn’t matter.
“So,” Max said. “Are you ready for the fair?”
“Sure,” Eli replied. “Let me just call my cousin. Let her know I’m alive.”
“Sounds good. I wouldn’t want her to think I’ve kidnapped you.”
“So you want me to lie for you? That’s a big ask for our relationship.”
Max smiled at him, shaking his head. “You’re adorable.”
Eli winked. “I try. I’ll be back in a bit.”
Chapter Four
The fairground was next to the bridge. Across the water, Sunrise Sands was visible. The city that Sunrise Sands was attached on the Southside and was, in general, a lot bigger than Sierra, but Sierra was more exclusive and that was one of the reasons that his tour manager had decided to book him there. He wasn’t at the point where he could fill stadiums either, and he didn’t think that there were that many intimate venues in San Leandre. If they’d had more time, Max would have suggested that they go explore the city together. After all, everyone had heard of San Leandre. But they didn’t, and Max spent the majority of his time wishing for nothing but more time.
He held Eli’s hand as they walked through the fairground games. Eventually, Max won Eli a huge banana, which Eli found amusing but concerning. He wondered where he would put such a huge banana in his apartment. Since Max had never seen his apartment, he assured him that he would find a place while doing nothing but snickering under his breath. Eli wanted to do bumper cars, but when Max declined because of his back, Eli decided to buy them candy floss instead.
“I forgot how terrible this is,” Eli said as they ate it together, sitting on a bench near the bumper cars.
“Might as well pour sugar into my mouth,” Max replied. “I don’t think my trainer will like you very much.”
Eli grinned. “I didn’t know you were going to introduce me.”
They walked and talked until it was dark. They kissed on the Ferris wheel, the one that faced the water, until they were both breathless. Neither one of them dared make more of a move, though, and the entire day had already been magical. The fair was closing down when Eli said that he needed to go home.
“I can call a taxi,” he said to Max as they stepped outside the door of the fairground, holding each other’s hands.
“That feels wrong,” Max said. “Let me call Lara. She’ll send a car.”
Eli giggled. “Fine, give me the VIP treatment. Might as well end the day on a high.”
“Sounds good,” Max replied. He got the phone out of his pocket, called Lara and soon, they were on their way to Eli’s apartment. His apartment building was nice, Max thought. It was a luxury apartment building right on the water and Max assumed that it cost a pretty penny.
The car stopped in front of his building. Max and Eli were still holding hands, but now, neither one of them was saying anything. Max didn’t want the day to come to a close. He wanted to do what he could to extend this.
“This is me,” Eli said, making absolutely no move to get out of the car.
“Let me walk you to your apartment,” Max replied.
Eli trained his gaze on him, his mouth a thin line, saying nothing.
“It’s, uh, late,” Max said. The excuse sounded even more stupid than it had in his head.
“Are you sure that you want to?”
Max nodded. “Absolutely.”
Eli smiled. He got out of the car. Max told the driver to wait for him on the street. The driver nodded. Max didn’t think that he would take long and if he did, for any reason, he could always call him to tell him that he would be a while. As they stood outside the gated building, Eli turned around and kissed him on the mouth. It caught Max off guard. His eyes widened, but before he knew it, he was kissing him back. Eli tasted like candy floss, funnel cake and the sweet tea that they had drank together when the fair was about to close.
Max knew, in the back of his mind, that he should be more discreet than this. But he couldn’t help himself. All that he wanted to do was kiss Eli right then. He opened his mouth to allow Eli’s tongue to press against his own, as he bridged the small gap between their bodies. Before he knew it, Eli was pinned against the wall and Max was kissing him so passionately
he didn’t feel like he could breath.
Eli pulled away from him for a second. “Come upstairs with me.”
“Are you sure?” Max said between sharp breaths.
“More sure of anything than I’ve ever been,” Eli replied. “I need you.”
“Okay,” Max said. “Okay.”
Eli grabbed his hand and pulled him along as they went into the building. The elevator didn’t get there quickly enough, but once it did, once it closed, Eli had his mouth on Max’s again and he was pushing him up against the mirror behind him, his hands caressing the front of his body until they found the buttons of his jeans.
Max broke off the kiss for a second. “Do you—which floor do you live on?”
“Eighteenth,” Eli said. He didn’t give Max time to process that. He kissed him on the mouth again, until they were both gasping once more, until Max’s jeans felt like little more than strangulation devices. Eli fumbled with the lock for a minute.
The elevator beeped and they walked outside together, their mouths still on one another, with little regard for whether anyone could see them. The way that Eli acted meant that Max didn’t care if any of Eli’s neighbors saw him, since Eli clearly didn’t care himself. Eli broke off the kiss for only a moment to look for his keys in his pocket. Max watched him, his breathing ragged, as he opened the door to his apartment.
“Sorry,” he said. “My hands are sweaty.”
Max laughed. “Wonder why.”
Eli opened the door to his apartment with his shoulder. Max followed closely behind him. Eli kicked the door closed and pinned Max against the wall. He did it softly, tenderly, making sure not to bump his back up against the hard wall. Max knew it was because he had off-handedly mentioned his back problems. His kisses were just as insistent. Once the kiss broke off, Max wanted to ask him what he wanted to do. He couldn’t, though, because here, in the foyer of his apartment, Eli dropped to his knees and started to undo the buttons on his jeans.
“You’re so fucking hot,” Eli said, his voice barely above a whisper. “And I have been waiting for this all fucking day.”
Max groaned as Eli slid his jeans down his legs. Eli looked at his crotch and licked his lips.