“It’s a little irritating.” Although I thought if I went back to my sleeping bag, I would crash. If he noticed the first aid kit, he didn’t say anything. For all I knew, he’d seen me with the wolf and was just being nice, pretending to believe my lies.
“Do you ever sleep?” I asked.
“Not much. A bad habit I got into this year at college—spending way too much time studying, when I wasn’t partying.”
“Don’t take this wrong, but I can’t see you partying.”
“My first semester away from home, I went a little wild. We all did. Me, Connor, and Rafe. On campus, they called us the wildmen. But by the end of the year, we’d settled down.” He glanced around. “You mentioned seeing a black wolf last night. How about the wolf this afternoon? Was it black?”
“No.” While I’d hesitated to tell Mason the wolf’s true color, I knew that Lucas was all about protecting the wildlife. “His fur was different colors—kinda like your hair, actually. Black, brown, white.”
“Most wolves have varying shades of fur, which is the reason that the black wolf stands out. Probably not a good idea to go out alone until we spot that wolf and know he’s not going to cause any harm.”
“You say that as though you know the wolves.”
“Over the years, we’ve seen a lot of them. Don’t think we know them all, but some are friendlier than others.”
I nodded. The wolf I’d begun to think of as mine certainly seemed as though he’d never harm me.
“I think the day’s catching up with me,” I said.
Without saying a word, Lucas walked me back to my tent. He waited while I crawled back inside.
I was right. It didn’t take me long to go to sleep. I dreamed about the candlelit dinner that Mason had promised me. Only in my dream, it wasn’t Mason sharing the dinner with me. It was Lucas.
NINE
Lindsey was right. My night watch shift was with Lucas.
“If you’re not feeling up to it, I can keep watch alone,” he said when I joined him in the middle of the camp after Lindsey had nudged me awake when she finished her shift.
“No, I’m fine.”
He gave me a pointed look.
“Okay, so I’m not fine, but I’m capable of keeping watch without straining myself.”
He gave me that little twitch of his lips that resembled a smile. “You need a jolt of caffeine before we get started? I’ve got some coffee going over here.”
“Oh, that’d be great.”
We sat on a log by the fire and he handed me a mug of coffee. It was a cool night, and the warmth of the fire felt wonderful. Lucas was leaning forward, his elbows on his thighs, both hands around his mug, his eyes on his coffee. His profile was to me. He was ruggedly handsome.
“I scare you, don’t I?” he asked quietly.
If I’d already taken a sip of coffee, I’d have either spewed it or choked on it.
“You’re kind of intense,” I admitted.
He released a dark chuckle. “Yeah. I take protecting this stretch of wilderness seriously, and when people like the professor and his group come into it, I’m not sure they respect it like they should.” He glanced over his shoulder at me. “I grew up here. I love it. Don’t you feel the same about Dallas?”
“I’ve never really felt like I belonged,” I confessed. “I’ve always felt more at home in the woods.”
“So we have that in common.”
It was strange to think we might have a bond. “So what are you majoring in?”
“Political science.”
I arched a brow. “What? You’re going to go into politics?”
He gave me a wry grin. “Trying to improve my communication skills.”
I had to admit that he wasn’t one for small talk, but once he started talking, I didn’t think he had any problems communicating. As a matter of fact, I found myself enthralled whenever we got into a conversation. It was obvious that when he cared about something, he cared deeply.
“Lindsey said your dad was someone important in the community.”
“Yeah, he’s served as mayor of Tarrant and was on the school board, so I guess my interest in politics comes naturally. He’s always had high expectations.”
“Did he find out about you beating up that Devlin guy?”
“Yeah. He wasn’t happy about it.” He shook his head. “Parents. Sometimes, no matter what you do, you can’t please them.”
“Tell me about it.”
We sat in silence for a minute, each of us sipping our coffee.
“The color of your hair reminds me of a fox I once saw,” he said quietly.
“Thanks. I think. That was a compliment, right?”
He chuckled. “Yeah. Most definitely.”
“I’ve never seen a fox in the wild.”
“Maybe I’ll show you one before summer is over.”
“That would be nice.” I really did think it would be. Better than a candlelit dinner where the main entrée was a can of beans. Even as I pictured that, I felt guilty at making light of Mason’s attempt to romance me. The funny thing was, given the choice between trudging through the woods searching for a fox and a candlelit dinner in the finest restaurant—I would choose the fox. I should have thought, “Lucas gets me. He’s the one.” Instead, I swallowed hard and decided to change the subject, because I had a feeling that when it came to relationships, Lucas wouldn’t fool around. He would be as intense in love as he was with all things. I was still carrying around too much baggage to be intense with anyone. Maybe when I’d had a chance to unload some of it….
“So you really think it was that Devlin guy who cut the rope?” I asked.
If my change in conversational topic surprised him, he didn’t show it.
“It’s the only thing that makes sense,” he said.
“But see, it doesn’t make any sense at all to me. Okay, so he got fired. Move on already.”
“He’s not going to move on, not until he gets even. Since I’ve been off at school, he’s had to wait. This place, these woods—this is where he’ll want to take his revenge.”
“Revenge? Just because you kicked his butt? That seems a little extreme.”
He released a harsh laugh. “Extreme? That’s Devlin. In some ways, I think he’s borderline psychotic.”
“But what did he accomplish by cutting the rope except spooking everyone?”
“For him, that’s enough motive. Create chaos.”
“Do you think Dr. Keane and his students will be safe when we leave them?”
“Yeah. Devlin wants to discredit me. He won’t hurt them.”
“You sound like you know him pretty well.”
He turned his silver gaze back on me. “I should. He’s my brother.”
I felt like I’d taken a punch to the chest. My shock must have shown on my face, because he got up, tossed his coffee into the fire, and strode away. I thought he was going to disappear into the forest, but he stopped at the spot where I’d seen Rafe and Brittany serving as sentries.
So he’d fought with his brother and gotten him fired—turned him in for improper behavior. I set my mug aside, got up, and walked over to him. I touched his arm. “That must have been hard, not to look the other way.”
He gave his head a quick shake. “It was like he morphed into Anakin Skywalker and went to the dark side or something. He was doing all kinds of crazy shit. He knows these woods as well as I do. He could hide out in them, survive in them, without anyone knowing he’s here.”
“His bad behavior isn’t your responsibility.” I sounded like Dr. Phil.
“I confronted him. Humiliated him.” He touched my cheek. His fingers were warm against my skin. His eyes had darkened to the shade of pewter. “I really want to show you that fox, but my job right now is to get the professor to his destination, then I have to find Devlin and deal with him. I have to focus on that.” He dropped his hand to his side. He looked uncomfortable, as though he had a lot more that he wanted to say, things it m
ight be too soon to say.
“You should probably take up your sentry post over there,” he said, indicating the opposite corner of the camp.
“Yeah, sure. Good idea.”
Disappointment at his dismissal hit me hard. As I strode across the camp, I decided that whatever I felt for Lucas was just a passing thing. I had Mason’s attention. I’d always been a one-guy girl.
Mason was it. Mason was safe. Lucas had demons to fight. Maybe when he’d reconciled things with his brother, he’d have time for me.
Or maybe this strange pull I felt for him would snap, like the rope over the river. Maybe it could be severed as neatly.
Yeah, right, Kayla Madison. Dr. Brandon was wrong. You don’t need to face your fears. You need to face reality.
Ever since your parents died, you’ve shut down all your feelings. Lucas scares you because with him, you feel again.
And when you feel, you can be hurt.
I never wanted to be hurt again. Mason wouldn’t hurt me.
TEN
The next day, because I was still bruised and sore, we traveled at a slow, casual pace. I could sense the tension in all the sherpas. We’d decided not to mention our suspicions about Devlin to Dr. Keane and his group. That we suspected the rope was cut was all they needed to know. Lucas was convinced that once we left our group, they would be safe.
When we took our first break, I gingerly removed my backpack, set it on the ground, and sat on it. Joining me, Mason extended a handful of wildflowers. They weren’t abundant in this area, so he’d had to leave the trail every now and then whenever he spotted one.
“Thought these might make you feel better,” he said.
I took them from him and smelled them. “Thanks.”
“They’re different kinds.”
“I can see that.”
“Some of them weren’t easy to spot, but I was keeping an eye out.”
“That was sweet.”
“It’s against park policy to pick wildflowers,” Lucas suddenly said.
As usual, I hadn’t heard him approach, but he was standing over us.
“So fine me,” Mason said. “It’s not like there’s a florist out here that I can call.”
“There’s only a few,” I said. “I don’t think he did any real harm.”
Lucas narrowed his eyes at us. Without another word, he walked away.
“What a romantic guy,” Mason mumbled.
Lucas was romantic, actually, just not in the traditional sense. And he was right. The flowers would be wilted and dead by lunch. But still, I appreciated Mason’s efforts. What I didn’t appreciate was watching Monique scurry over to Lucas. She was absolutely too beautiful. I wanted to scrub the freckles off my face.
“So, how are you feeling?” Mason asked, bringing my attention back to him.
“Just a few aches. Nothing to worry about.”
“If I’d been through what you went through, I think I’d be ready to call the trip quits.”
“Yesterday was kinda like river rafting. There was some excitement to it.” Understatement.
“Probably better with a raft, though, don’t you think?”
I chuckled. “Yeah.”
“So, maybe tonight we can do that candlelit dinner.”
I scrunched my nose. “I think Lucas is going to want everyone to stick close to camp.”
“He’s not our boss.”
“He’s mine.”
“You should consider staying behind with us, once we get to our destination. We could have some fun.”
“I know they’re going to leave someone behind—”
“So volunteer.”
“Maybe.” I didn’t know how Lucas would feel about it, but the idea had a certain appeal. It might give me a chance to explore the area, to figure out where my parents had died. The problem was that when I was five, all the forest had looked the same to me, and even if it hadn’t, it would have changed in the dozen years since I left.
For the following two days we made terrific progress. Lucas always took the lead. We were traveling where no campers had gone before. He had a wicked-looking machete that he used to clear through the brush. He pushed each of us to our personal limit, and when we reached that, he pushed us further. Every night we pretty much collapsed once the campsite was set up. No flirting, no fun.
Dr. Keane seemed pleased with the pace. Once he got to wherever it was he wanted to be, we’d leave him to his business, and return at the end of two weeks to help them haul their stuff back.
There hadn’t been any other strange incidents. We were still taking turns keeping guard at night. Lucas was always my partner. We didn’t talk. We took opposite sides of the camp. I studied him until he turned his head to look at me—then I shifted my attention away and tried to appear nonchalant, hoping he didn’t realize how much time I spent fantasizing about him.
Thoughts about him occupied me as much as memories of the wolf. I heard him howl every night before I drifted off to sleep. I kept expecting him to show up while I was on guard duty. For some reason, I didn’t think Lucas would be alarmed by him strolling through camp. Because the howls never sounded far away, I was certain he was following us. That knowledge gave me a sense of security that I couldn’t explain.
It was late afternoon on the fourth day since my river incident that we broke through the brush into a gorgeous clearing. It was larger than any we’d reached before. In front of us was a narrow stream, the water babbling as it traveled. It wasn’t nearly as ominous as the river we’d crossed before. A short distance away, the land sloped up more steeply, and I knew we were at the base of the mountains. The valley was spread out before us. It was all so peaceful.
“What do you think, Professor?” Lucas asked.
I glanced back to see Dr. Keane nodding. “This will do very nicely, very nicely indeed.”
As we set up the camp, I felt a growing sense of accomplishment in knowing that we wouldn’t be packing it all back up the next morning. Dr. Keane and his students would be here for about ten days.
The sherpa guys had gone hunting in typical us-Tarzan-you-Jane fashion. They were hoping to snare some rabbits. I was gathering kindling at the edge of the copse of trees when Mason approached.
“Have you given any thought to my suggestion?” he asked. “I really want you to stay here with us.”
He reached for my hand and then looked confused when he saw they were both filled with kindling. So instead he slid his hand up my forearm and wrapped his fingers around my elbow. “I like you, Kayla. A lot. I mean, more than a lot. I’d like some time to…well, to explore what I’m feeling. Maybe find that shooting star.”
My whole life—or at least since my parents had died—I’d liked whatever was safe. I’d searched for safe. Lucas wasn’t safe. He stirred things in me that I’d never felt before. Scary things. Enormous feelings welled inside me whenever he was around. Sometimes I felt like the girl inside me would crawl out of my skin and I’d become someone totally different if I spent too much time with Lucas.
Lucas was the big, bad wolf, and Mason was the one who’d built the house that the wolf couldn’t get into. Mason was a warm blanket on a winter night. Lucas was…I didn’t know what he was. But he scared the hell out of me.
“I don’t know how they decide who stays behind,” I told him honestly.
“Volunteer. You can share a tent with Monique.”
She wasn’t my first choice, but since she was the only girl she was my only choice. I envisioned listening to her talking incessantly every night as we got ready for bed about how hot Lucas was. I thought it might drive me crazy, but on the other hand I could talk about Mason. Besides, I couldn’t think of a better way to face my past than to spend a few days out here just living, instead of hiking until I was too exhausted at night to really care about anything.
“I’ll ask Lucas.”
“Great. I’m really glad you’re going to stay.”
“I’m going to try to stay. We’ll have
to see what Lucas says.”
“I’m not so sure that’s a good idea.” Lucas had his arms crossed over his chest and his I-am-the-leader-so-you-will-not-mess-with-me scowl, ruining the perfect lines of his face.
“Why?” I asked.
“You’re a novice.”
“I’ve camped my entire life. I’ll admit I’m not as familiar with these woods as you are, but they’re woods like any other woods. The camp is set up. They’re going to do a little day hiking and looking around. I don’t see that it’s a big deal. Besides, you have to cut me loose sometime.”
“Why do you want to stay?” he demanded to know.
“For the experience. To face my past—”
“Why?”
“Because Dr. Keane is interesting with all his wild theories, and it might be fun—”
“Why?”
I gritted my teeth. Why was he being so difficult?
“Because I like Mason, okay? I want to spend some time with him, get to know him. I’m comfortable around him.” And I’m not always comfortable around you.
“Fine. Stay.”
His words were terse. Harsh. Filled with anger. I didn’t know why I felt let down when he turned on his heel and strode away. I’d gotten what I wanted. More time with Mason. More time where everything was safe.
Why did I feel as though I’d lost something that was more important?
That night when I went to bed, for the first time, I was looking forward to my shift as guardian. Mason had been a little over the top with his excitement about me staying with the group. He even gave me one of their green Keane’s Kampers T-shirts to wear—how juvenile. He’d stuck to me like paper to glue. It was so obvious that he was incredibly happy that I was going to be around. It should have made me feel just as glad.
But Lucas was as sullen as Mason was happy. He kept his distance. He and Rafe did a lot of low talking on the other side of the camp. At one point, it looked like they were arguing. Lucas’s face took on a stormy expression, and he finally walked away.
“Man, I thought he was going to hit him,” Mason whispered beside me, and I realized that I wasn’t the only one watching the little drama unfold.
Moonlight Page 9