by Jamie Knight
Anger was what I had erupted with in the beginning. Only an hour ago, my mother had come into my room and demanded to know what had happened on that beautiful day that I had shared with Alexander Foster.
Her face, taught with determination, scared the hell out of me, and even as I sat there under the shower head shivering, I could not help but feel along the bruises on my skin.
Mom’s eyes — they were fire. I had never seen my mother so angry before, and it was all because of me. I felt slightly honored, in that tiny part of my heart that was still defiant and demanded its freedom, that she would channel all that energy into being angry with me. Foolish I was, of course, to listen to that bit of wondrous youth and answer back.
It was unexpected; how she lashed out at me and whipped me senseless with that leather belt. I was taken aback by how hard she came down on me. Like a merciless master beating a helpless circus animal, that was what and how she treated me.
“You will answer me, Valeria!” she bellowed at the top of her screechy voice.
Her technique in interrogation had become quite primeval, and the heat from her dagger stares met with mine whimpering in the corner of my cramped-up room.
“Mom, I don’t know what you’re talking ab…” I started, but was met with a whip from her belt; right to my shoulder.
She is not fucking playing!
“Ah! Mom! What have I done to you to deserve this?” I pleaded, shifting away slowly, edging for the door.
If I stayed any longer, my mom’s temper would lead me to hospitalization, or worse.
She licked her lips in a venomous frown. She clearly had had it and had no remorse in her to stop and realize how far she was willing to go. Maybe she had already lost it in the light of all the recent events.
Maybe…
She stumbled on a pile of clothing on the floor, and I took my chance.
It’s now or never.
I scrambled for my bedroom door, my short dress tearing at the seams to give me more room for the sprint. It was a mad dash that gave me a semblance of hope.
Too soon…
She was extra quick on her feet and blocked me before I could reach the doorway. Her body weight knocked me to the side and took the wind out of my lungs as I hurtled to the floor. Our limbs swung in midair, as the woman who lay in front of me came closer to do what she had to do.
“I know that something is going on with you and someone at work, Valeria, and it must be that scoundrel Alexander Foster. I don’t care if he is the richest man in the world, but you don’t know him like I do…” she trailed off, somehow absorbed in a memory so far into the past, “…but you are forgetting your faith, and I will instill it back into you whether you want it or not.”
She affirmed the situation by grabbing the curling iron on my bedside table.
I was on the floor, unmoving. The noise we had caused should surely have brought my dad into the room, but his absence proved my plight in all of this alone. Mother had blocked the door, and I was on the floor tangled up in a mess, dazed over what she wanted from me and how I could ever get away from this.
Whack!
My face stung.
Clunk!
My elbow burned.
It took me a second to realize she had taken the curling iron in her left hand and the belt in her right. Mercilessly, she beat me to a pulp, uttering the Lord’s Prayer as she went on and on instilling her “faith” in me.
To be honest, the pain had stopped when I decided I would take the beating head-on. Crying out in pain would not deter her deranged mind from assaulting me to the core, even after my voice went hoarse.
Footsteps that stopped at my door signaled the man of the household. A heavy tool dropped to the floor and the shuffling of boots towards mother was followed by a slap echoed that echoed.
“How dare you treat our daughter like that! She’s still not much older than a child, Lisa! You made your own flesh and blood bleed?” he screamed.
I could not turn my head, for the pain was too much. My arms splayed out on the floor, and my body was aching all over. I could only lay flat on my belly to numb myself.
Kill me now, you jerk. Kill me and get it done with. You promise your children a life of harmony, but you allow my mother to do this to me?
I was done. The words that left my dad’s mouth were incoherent, or my ears were buzzing too loudly — I could not tell the difference. I struggled to get up and crawled to the doorway.
Strong arms grabbed me by the armpits and Dad embraced me into his chest.
“My daughter, what has she done to you?”
I turned my head to see my mother on the floor, her hand to her cheek, staring daggers at me.
“Let me go, Dad,” I managed to hoarsely breathe.
I was going to go to Alexander’s and leave this hellhole. I was not in a caring mood for the repercussions.
“Where are you going? We can sort this out right here and now… just tell us what’s going on with you. Why did he let you go on your first day of work?”
What the fuck?!
That took me by surprise.
“What… what are you talking about?”
He looked down at me, clearly not comprehending the situation before him. Dad had care in his eyes, and yet he was seemingly disappointed when he looked at me and caressed my hair.
“You breached your contract, Valeria. Alex implied that you were disobeying at work. You fell asleep at your desk…”
What…?
The man must have been joking.
Me?
“Now, we raised you right and I know this must have been a misunderstanding, what with it being your first day and all, but I need you to…”
He did not get to finish. I tore myself away from him and walked out into the hallway, grabbing my right arm to steady the pain ebbing in and out.
Why would Alexander say such a thing about me? Did I do something to offend him? Why? Why Alexander? Why?
I couldn’t figure it out.
I wasn’t sure of anything anymore.
Except that I was utterly alone and abandoned.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Valeria
I shuffled down the stairs, ignoring the calls of my father, who was also yelling at both my mother and me.
“Valeria! Come back! It’s too late to leave the house… now turn back and… Lisa… Get up and go after your daughter. You caused this mess and… Valeria...”
I unhinged the door and gave the house one final sweep with my eyes.
Goodbye, you sanctimonious, hypocritical jerks.
The hot air stung my swollen eyes, and the tightness of my breath heightened the pain in my bones. My clothes had been ripped at the seams, and my feet were blistering on the porch. Heavy footsteps cascaded down the stairs, and I had to gather my strength and do the only thing that I could only do in that situation.
I ran.
I ran to the only place I could think of.
As the hot morning air rasped through my hair, tears swelled my eyes, slightly blurring my vision. I had just run from home in pain, inflicted by my supposed saint of a mother, tearing down the streets in reckless abandon, with my mind reeling from what my dad had just revealed to me.
Alexander lied… and he knew I was going to hear about it.
I was angry. The hot asphalt burned up my bare feet and I was glad for the pain. I was glad my body felt it, for me being so stupid to fall for a man who had only wanted to use me for my body.
I could not believe how blind I had been to listen to him; to think he had trusted me as much as I did him. The words he had uttered to me during our first time together; they were all lies. They were the words of a cunning snake to get into my pants and have to himself some of that virgin pussy.
Fuck you, Alexander!
The sun shone around the happy, fluffy clouds, and I could not help but imagine how grateful they were not to be human and experiencing pain. They were not a young woman who had just had her heart
crushed by the man of her dreams and whose mother had just beat the crap out of her.
They were not a daughter who had lost faith in her father, her rock, her former knight in shining armor. The clouds were not me. And I envied them and hated them for what they were.
I tore down the block as fast as I could. The neighbors were mostly inside, and the houses were all quiet, or ignoring the noise that had just erupted from the Silva household. Then again, it was common knowledge that my parents spat from time to time.
Fuck them. They never wanted to hear my side of the story.
I cut a corner and breathed out a huff, staggering onto a porch I was all too familiar with. I walked unsteadily towards the dark door, illuminated by the sun to give the white walls a ghostly feel.
I quickly turned about me and surveyed my surroundings, painfully. It was all quiet and empty, and no one had followed me. I hugged myself to keep standing, and sharp pains all over daunted my hand from leaving my side to knock on the door.
I just had to.
Beyond that door was my only hope.
I could only manage a feeble knock and was truly grateful for the owner of the house being a home. The door lurched open a few inches after a few seconds.
I smiled or tried to.
On the other side of that door stood a bespectacled brunette, with freckles that went on for days. Her green eyes stared at me, looking shocked, but as soon as she registered who it was, the door swung open and her thin arms wrapped around me.
“Valeria! What the hell happened to you?” she pleaded.
I am safe now.
I collapsed and fell at her feet, reeling from the pain and heartbreak that hurt to be free.
“Stella…” I breathed, before I broke down crying.
Explaining everything to my best friend was the one thing I needed the most. It had been the most grueling two days of my life, and my emotions were all over the place.
I had just been in a love jest with a man I had been in love with for over a year, and he had only used me for his bodily pleasure. And even though it was seemingly over, my mother had beat me almost to a pulp all to try to find out what had transpired in the past two days.
Stella had the entire house to herself. Her parents were out, so she helped me get to the bathroom and to the shower to clean up. She waited patiently while I got the blood off and accessed the damage.
There was a reason we were really good friends and told each other everything. For one, we were recluses, having no social life while we were in school. Most boys, as well as girls, didn’t want to hang with us, due to our strict parents and our inability to get down and dirty.
We stuck together after a bland choir practice at church right after she had moved into town, and things just clicked. We had been best friends ever since.
Stella had a striking personality. She had layers, and deep ones at that. She had been a world champion at chess and loved the game so much she traveled the world even before she was done with middle school and had a passion for collecting stamps.
Her swimming record was amazing, but she had been just a little shy to join the school team. To be curt, she was just plain cool. And I loved her for being who she was, with no mask.
Once I was as clean as I could get, I tried to relax into the couch. Stella listened to my story that had spiraled out of control. She hugged me and took care of my injuries the best that she could, bandaging me as far as her memory of her earlier scouting skills could allow her to.
“…and that is how I came up to your doorstep,” I finished.
She looked at me intently with a tear in her eye.
So empathetic.
“Valeria, what you just told me is enough to make anyone lose hope. I don’t know how you’re holding up inside. That lying son of a bitch does not deserve you one bit, and as for your dad, just let him be. Your mom though… what the fuck?”
Stella tried to soothe me, desperately trying to help me find the answers that eluded me every so often.
“Stella… what does it matter?” I randomly asked.
My eyes had been glassy, and she knew I was deep in thought, taking my hurt as medicine for my future self.
“I don’t get you… what do you mean?” she responded, curling her legs on the sofa we were sitting on and softly caressing my hand.
“Pain, Stella. Do you think it chooses someone out of bias? Or maybe it’s a thing that God places in our paths for no particular reason — just for fun?”
I was tearing up and delirious. I just wanted to get something, anything, off my chest. The burn in my throat and heaving lungs encouraged a steady stream of tears. She reached out to me and hugged me hard.
“Girl, don’t cry. You have been through so much, and I can’t even begin to imagine all of what that was and what it was like. Pain is inevitable, but for some reason, you have been brave enough to face it this early on in life.”
She rubbed my back as she talked.
“Don’t sell yourself short, okay? Life gives us a series of good things and bad things, but it doesn’t mean that they will mess each other up in any way. They both need to happen to keep the world balanced, and we need to just stand. Keep standing, Valeria. Just stand.”
As far as friendships could go, one would always need a Stella in their life. I could not help but smile through my swollen cheeks. I was lucky to have such a friend.
She took me by the arms and swallowed.
“You can stay here as long as you like, okay? My parents have been working long hours, and they wouldn’t mind, anyway. You know you’re like family to them and that you’re always welcome here.”
Those were the words my body and mind needed to hear to calm down. I could not thank her enough as she helped me walk towards her bedroom, helped me change and get into the bed.
“Stella, if my parents come to the door and ask for me…”
“Don’t worry. I got you,” she winked, as she slowly shut the door behind her and went downstairs.
After she had left me to my own thoughts, I tried to relax and sleep away the pain, but I couldn’t close my eyes. I felt a feeling I could not comprehend until much later on. It was a mix of anxiety and deep sorrow.
I am lost.
I am lost and it’s entirely my own fault.
The world and my future seemed bleak in every possible way, and my tears and anger could not repair the damage done. Slowly, I got out of bed, clutching my hands to my sides, and wandered over to the window. It was a task, but I managed to open the window curtain and peep outside.
My father had found his way over to where he knew I would be and was having a word with Stella on the front porch. With a firm no that I could hear even from where I was, she slammed the door shut and locked it. I could see his form leave slowly, out to the street.
I opened the door, moved to the stairs, and called out to her.
“What did he say?”
She looked up, surprised to see me.
“Valeria, you need rest. Come on, I’ll take you back to my room.”
She took two stairs at a time towards me and grabbed my arm gently. But I would not budge.
“What did he say, Stella?”
I could be quite stubborn when I wanted to be.
She sighed and looked at me with concerned eyes. Slowly, she told me.
“He will not force you to go home but will wait for you to forgive him and your mom.”
Fat chance.
“Well then, Stella. It seems I might be staying longer than we expected, huh?”
She smirked and laughed.
“As if I didn’t expect that.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Alexander
I could not sleep that night and for many nights after. Turning restlessly, I could only think of what I had done to Valeria, the sweetest girl alive, whose love I had given up so that she would not get into trouble at home with her parents, who I knew to be very strict. It was three o’clock in the morning, and my bedside
clock glowed, and the warm sheets disgusted me.
I hate myself and there is nothing I can do to repair that.
“Truman, awake,” I huffed.
My voice was hoarse from all the drinking I had done earlier when Jonathan brought me home. I wanted to forget how that night had ended, but no matter how much I drank, I was not getting drunk.
My body wanted to remember, and the room was filled with the stink of whisky and body sweat. All through the night I hadn’t bothered to shower. I did not feel worthy of it.
“Yes, Sir,” he beamed.
“Use the satellite to feed me an image of Valeria Silva’s residence,” I commanded.
I just needed to know if she was alright.
“Sir, I cannot perform that action as of now. Your user control access over the subject ‘Silva’ or ‘Valeria’ has been overwritten.”
I whipped my head around.
That was a first.
“Overwritten by whom?”
“Further questions only allow me to proceed to protocol three and notify Jonathan,” he toned.
“No, no, no don’t do that…”
“Already done, Sir,” he beeped.
Damn you, Jon.
He knew what I would get up to in my room in the middle of the witching hours. He was waiting and prevented me from succumbing by going ahead and shutting me out of my satellite feed’s access. Quite fatherly and wise of him, but I was pissed.
“To sleep, Truman.”
I heard a noise off the corridor to my room. I sat on the edge of the bed, hoping for a better lecture than the one I was about to get.
The door creaked open and the man walked in seamlessly. He had no sense of sleep and always had an old gentleman’s elegance about him, regardless of the time.
He closed the door behind him and walked quickly towards the edge of the bed where my shirtless body waited. He sniffed his nose to clear it of the stink and cleared his throat.
“Master Alex…”
The alcohol was seeping into my system, and all I could offer were unchecked words streaming with fury from my lips.
“Do you realize what I have done, Jon? I have just fucking ruined the life of a young woman who had a whole future ahead of her! I thought of myself all too much, just impressing her with the toys and my money and my body all for the sake of selfishness.”