‘Did eating that disgusting orange mess work?’ Rachael called out from the cockpit.
Nelson sat up. ‘I DON’T FEEL ANY DIFFERENT!’ he boomed. Nelson threw his hands over his mouth, but it was too late. The spaceship’s navigation system began to flicker and the walls of Princess Rachael’s flying cucumber rumbled. A terrifying symphony of beeps and alarms blasted from the cockpit. Nelson looked at Olive whose face was filled with terror. What had he done?
‘Hold on to something!’ she said, trying not to panic. ‘We’re going down!’
The walls spun around and around as the spaceship propelled towards the earth.
‘Bracing for impact!’ yelled Princess Rachael. ‘Engaging crash shields!’
Nelson felt his stomach in his throat as the spaceship smashed into the earth with a thud.
Princess Rachael opened the ship’s door to a mess of dust and broken bricks. They all scrambled towards the exit, and as Nelson stepped off the ship he noticed a familiar room that now had no ceiling and only two walls!
‘Detention’s not for another five hours, Nelson.’ Ms Blake grinned from behind her desk, where she was reading a book. ‘But since you put that hole in the roof, I’ll definitely be seeing you then!’
‘Sorry about the roof, Ms Blake,’ Olive said, jumping out of the spaceship. ‘But it’s a lot better than being eaten by an alien.’
Ms Blake had no idea what the kids were on about. The aliens hadn’t gone anywhere near her – every smart Despinite knows that PE teachers taste horrible!
Nelson, Olive and Princess Rachael burst out of the detention room and immediately took down two guards who were keeping watch. As Nelson bumped their heads together, he wanted to say something funny like the hero always says in action movies, but he knew his booming voice would alert Lord Hallabutt that he was on the loose.
Creeping through the hallways of the school, it wasn’t long before the three of them had made it to the cafeteria. Olive could hear muffled voices and a hearty aroma filled the air. She could smell onions, garlic and cloves, but, thankfully, there was not a whiff of roasted teachers.
‘Nelson!’ Olive hissed, pointing to the door. ‘They’re in there!’
Nelson pushed forwards with both hands and the locked cafeteria doors blew off their hinges, soaring through the air and conveniently knocking over a guard. Four more guards ran towards Nelson, holding the spiky ends of their tridents in front of them. Nelson realised that now was his chance.
‘SOUP’S ON!’ he yelled, sending the guards flying into the scalding hot stockpots on the stove.
The kitchen shook. Lord Hallabutt definitely would’ve felt that, wherever he was. Olive peered into the dining area next door and saw all the teachers tied up and covered in salt. She did a quick headcount to make sure one of them hadn’t been eaten prematurely.
‘There’s a teacher missing!’ she said to Nelson. ‘Where’s Mr Shue?!’
Nelson heard the sound of squeaking wheels coming from behind him. He turned to see Mr Shue lying on a trolley, bound and gagged with an apple in his mouth. The trolley was being pushed by the extra slimy, extra evil Lord Hallabutt.
‘Hello, children,’ he said with a smirk. ‘Looking for someone?’
Lord Hallabutt pushed the trolley with Mr Shue on it as hard as he could towards Nelson. Seeing his teacher speeding towards him with an apple in his mouth was definitely in the top-three weirdest things Nelson had seen in the last hour.
He caught the trolley and dug his feet into the ground to slow the impact. The heavy trolley pushed Nelson up against the wall of the cafeteria.
Lord Hallabutt ran towards Nelson, grabbed the trolley and lifted it above his head, sending Mr Shue rolling along the floor, away from the fight. The enraged purple alien swung the trolley towards Nelson. Nelson threw a punch just in time to hit the trolley, which shattered into a jumble of nuts and bolts.
‘Do you have any idea how hungry I am?’ Lord Hallabutt said. ‘You can’t get good brunch service anywhere these days!’
Nelson kicked off from the wall and soared through the air, his feet pointed towards Lord Hallabutt’s slimy face. But the alien was too quick. He snatched Nelson’s left foot, spun him around and launched him into a pile of dirty dishes.
Surrounded by broken plates and cutlery, Nelson grabbed a handful of forks and started hurling them at the angry purple blur that was running towards him. The forks bounced off Lord Hallabutt’s slimy skin and ricocheted all over the room.
‘Watch where you’re throwing those things, Nelson!’ Olive shouted, as she tried to untie Mr Shue.
Princess Rachael grabbed a fork as it flew past her head. ‘Your big plan was to smack my dad around a bit?’ she asked angrily. ‘You’re just as bad as he is!’
Nelson had thought it would work, but Lord Hallabutt was stronger than Nelson remembered. ‘Sorry!’ Nelson shouted back with his super-powered voice, toppling Lord Hallabutt over.
His voice! All this time he’d been trying to fight with his fists and feet when he could’ve just been fighting with words!
Nelson and Lord Hallabutt both stood up at the same time, their eyes locked with one another. Lord Hallabutt swung his trident through the air, striking a battle pose while Nelson thought carefully about what his next words would be. He remembered something he’d practised while walking home from school yesterday.
Nelson ran towards Lord Hallabutt, grabbed his slimy purple arms and held on tight.
‘GOOD MORNING, MR SHUE AND EVERYONE IN 3B!’ he bellowed. Lord Hallabutt’s crown whooshed off his head and smashed into smithereens. ‘MY NAME IS NELSON HUNTER AND TODAY I’D LIKE TO TELL YOU ABOUT THE IMPORTANCE OF TELLING THE TRUTH!’
The walls shook and the windows cracked. All the pots and pans crashed onto the floor. Lord Hallabutt’s face trembled with every word that left Nelson’s mouth. For three minutes, Nelson told the trembling Lord Hallabutt about trust and reliability. He explained how relationships are strengthened when we tell the truth. He screamed his entire speech until he was out of voice and out of strength.
‘AND THAT’S WHY,’ Nelson said as his voice weakened, ‘it’s important TO always TELL the truth,’ gasped Nelson, breathing heavily. With his speech over, he released the conquered Lord Hallabutt, who collapsed into a purple puddle on the floor.
Nelson made his way over to Olive and Mr Shue, and with the last of his super strength, pulled the apple out of Mr Shue’s mouth.
‘Nelson,’ Mr Shue said calmly, ‘that was an incredible speech.’
Mr Shue surveyed the half-destroyed cafeteria. ‘Well, you certainly made a mess of things here, didn’t you?’ he laughed. ‘Maybe we should untie some of the other teachers so they can clean this up?’
Rachael made her way over to Mr Shue, who cowered a little when he saw her. ‘Sorry about my dad,’ she said, extending a hand. ‘I promise, the women in my family are way less . . . greedy.’
They shook hands as Olive walked over to Nelson.
‘Olive?’ asked Mr Shue. ‘Does anyone know about Nelson’s talents besides you . . . and this alien princess?’
‘No, sir,’ replied Olive. ‘We tried as hard as we could to keep it a secret.’
‘But I guess now we’ll have to tell everyone the truth, right, sir?’ groaned Nelson.
‘No, Mr Hunter,’ Mr Shue said with a grin. ‘In this instance, telling the truth isn’t of utmost importance.’ He walked over to the collapsed body of Lord Hallabutt in the middle of the room. ‘Besides, I’m sure everyone will be much more interested in what to do with this . . . enormous purple creature.’
Suddenly, Lord Hallabutt’s hand shot up from the ground and grabbed Mr Shue by the neck. Lord Hallabutt rose to his feet, furious, with desperation in his eyes. He held Mr Shue above his head.
‘All I wanted was a little brunch!’ he wailed. ‘A few bowls of teacher stew and we’d be on our way!’
Nelson sprinted towards Lord Hallabutt, but, without his super strength, was pushed
away effortlessly with a flick of Lord Hallabutt’s finger.
‘Usually, I slow-cook a teacher before I eat it,’ Lord Hallabutt squawked, licking his lips. ‘But today I think I’ll eat one raw.’
Lord Hallabutt opened his disgusting purple mouth, revealing three sets of sharp yellow teeth. He lifted Mr Shue towards his lips as the teacher screamed. Nelson desperately searched the room for pumpkins. Olive considered yelling her presentation at the alien to see if it was as effective as Nelson’s.
‘THAT’S ENOUGH, DAD!’ Princess Rachael shouted, wielding her father’s bent trident. ‘TEACHERS ARE BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH!’
She launched the trident through the air towards her overly peckish dad. The weapon landed right in his enormous mouth, wedging itself perfectly in between his wide-open lips like a cork in a bottle. Unable to close his mouth or open it any wider to remove the trident, Lord Hallabutt dropped Mr Shue on the floor and let out the most high-pitched scream Nelson had ever heard. Flailing his arms up and down, Lord Hallabutt ran around the room madly and crashed into the pantry, sending the school’s lunch ingredients for the next three days flying all over the room.
A dull orange pumpkin with khaki green spots popped out of the pantry and rolled all the way over to Nelson’s feet. It wasn’t the kind of pumpkin that would win any awards, but it would do for now. Nelson grabbed it with both hands and starting chomping at the raw pumpkin as quickly as he could, fighting back the urge to vomit every time he took a new bite. He furiously chewed through thick skin, pulpy flesh and crunchy seeds. The effect was instantaneous. Nelson could feel the power of the pumpkin coursing through his veins.
Swallowing his final bite, Nelson stormed over to the screaming Lord Hallabutt and yanked the trident from out of his mouth, causing the great purple alien to scream even louder. For the second time that day, Nelson lifted the trident over his head and brought it down to his knee. This time it snapped clean in half with a satisfying CRUNCH.
Nelson threw the pieces of trident over his shoulder and grabbed Lord Hallabutt by the lips, which is no way anyone should ever grab a lord. He effortlessly lifted the King of Despina over his head, charged out of the school cafeteria and slam-dunked him into his spaceship. Grabbing the edge of the spaceship with both hands, Nelson scrunched the metal door shut, so there was no chance of Lord Hallabutt escaping, then swung the spaceship in a circle around and around his body. Nelson let out a beastly roar as he tossed the spaceship into the sky with all his might, sending Lord Hallabutt back into the solar system in a blur of silver and purple.
Princess Rachael watched her father soar into space, then turned to all the Despinite guards that had been left behind.
‘Guards of Despina!’ she commanded in the most regal voice she could muster. ‘As the next royal in line, I decree that no longer shall us Despinites indulge in the consumption of teachers. In fact, as of today, we are all on a smoothie-only diet for the next month!’
The guards groaned as they made their way back to their spaceships. Princess Rachael stood proudly before walking towards her own. Just before getting inside, she turned back to her new friends, Olive and Nelson.
‘I’ll add you online,’ she said. ‘I’ve got heaps of classic photos from today to tag you in!’
And with that, she shot off into space.
The rest of the day was pretty much a write-off for everyone at Greenmore West Primary School. The other teachers were untied, the police came and asked everyone questions, the students’ parents had to sign some forms and then everyone got to go home at lunch. Nobody mentioned anything about Nelson taking down an entire fleet of alien soldiers by himself, although a few of the teachers mentioned they’d heard him screaming over the school intercom. He’d probably have a detention or two because of that later in the week, but it seemed as though his secret was safe.
Olive and Nelson celebrated an afternoon free of school (and a victorious battle) by lying down on Nelson’s bedroom floor, which now smelt less like rotting pumpkin than it did earlier that day.
‘Today was absolutely insane,’ Olive proclaimed for the tenth time in five minutes. She was right, though.
‘I never want to eat another pumpkin again,’ Nelson groaned, clutching his stomach.
Olive shot upright. ‘Are you serious?’ she scoffed. ‘That pumpkin made you strong enough to throw an alien three times your size into space, and you never want to eat one again?’
‘I don’t even want to see a pumpkin again,’ he replied. ‘I don’t care what it can make me do. It’s still the most disgusting food ever created!’
Olive laughed, scrawled some words on a piece of paper and went to stuff it in her back pocket. Nelson snatched it from her hands before she was able to.
‘What’s this?’ he asked. Olive had written the names of about fifty different vegetables on the piece of paper.
‘Well, eating pumpkin made you super strong,’ Olive replied. ‘Aren’t you at all curious about what would happen if you ate a tomato? Or some cauliflower? Or a carrot?’
‘Nope.’ Nelson scrunched up the piece of paper and threw it in his cupboard, which was still missing a door. ‘And we’ll never, ever find out because I am never, ever eating a single disgusting vegetable again.’
‘Nelson! Phone!’ his mum yelled from the kitchen.
Nelson plodded down the stairs and picked up the phone. ‘Hello?’
‘Nelson, it’s your grandma. I heard you had quite an adventure today!’
‘Who told you?’
‘Everybody tells me everything. Including your little secret.’
‘What secret?’ Nelson said.
His grandma chuckled. ‘I told you you’d thank me for making you eat that pumpkin soup. Now, it’s time we got serious.’
Nelson frowned. ‘About what?’
‘Tell your mum and dad that you’re coming round to our place this weekend. Your friend Olive can come too. You’ll need to bring a radish, a head of lettuce and a jar of pickles. It’s time to begin your training.’
Nelson’s grandma hung up the phone, leaving Nelson gobsmacked.
This had been a super weird day, but it sounded like things were about to get even weirder.
Andrew Levins has been a DJ since he was a teenager, and a food writer for almost as long. He cut his teeth as one of the inaugural DJs on FBi radio, plays most major Australian music festivals and hosts the longest-running hip-hop night in Sydney. His articles have been published by the Sydney Morning Herald, ABC Life, VICE, SBS, Good Food Guide and Time Out. In 2007 he co-founded the youth music charity Heaps Decent (with Diplo and Nina Las Vegas), and in 2009 he was named one of Sydney’s 100 Most Influential People by the Sydney Morning Herald. Since then he’s had two kids, run a successful restaurant, released a cookbook and started no less than five podcasts. The Nelson series are his first books for children.
Katie Kear is a young British illustrator and has been creating artwork for as long as she can remember. She loves creating new worlds and characters, and hopes to spread joy and happiness with her illustrations!
As a child, her favourite memories always involved reading. Whether it was reading her first picture books with her mother before bed, and imagining new stories for the characters, or as an older child reading chapter books into the night, she remembers always having a love for books! This is what made her pursue her career in illustration.
In her spare time she loves drawing, adventures in nature, chocolate, stationery, the smell of cherries and finding new inspirational artists!
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Penguin Random House Australia is part of the Penguin Random House group of companies whose addresses can be found at global.penguinrandomhouse.com.
First published by Puffin Books, an imprint of Penguin Random House Australia Pty Ltd, in 2020
Text copyright © Andrew Levins 2020
Illustrations
copyright © Katie Kear 2020
The moral right of the author and illustrator has been asserted.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, published, performed in public or communicated to the public in any form or by any means without prior written permission from Penguin Random House Australia Pty Ltd or its authorised licensees.
Cover design by Rebecca King © Penguin Random House Australia Pty Ltd
ISBN 9781760893354
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