by Z. Allora
“Everything has been too easy. There need to be obstacles the band can overcome to give a sense of a satisfying conclusion.”
Money did seem to remove many of the day-to-day problems, but it didn’t solve everything. He needed to find something yen couldn’t fix. “Got it.”
Akihiro turned to him. “There must be some sort of struggle for them to work together to overcome.”
Daiki nodded. There had been, of course, but Wayuu’s problem wasn’t for public consumption. “You’re right. Where’s the story? Clearly, future interactions with the fans, bleeding information into the storylines, but now… there’s nothing.”
“You’ll find the story. It’s there. And the work you’ve done thus far in terms of setting up the background gives an encompassing view of each member. Even after reviewing the BDSM party intro, I’m greedy for the band’s adventures. I want more.”
That made Daiki smile. Akihiro had never been overly generous with his praise. Daiki didn’t remember Akihiro ever saying he wanted more of a particular story. Daiki’d find a way to make this right.
After a minute of silence, Akihiro finally asked, “I can’t help but notice you’re not sleeping here.”
“Um… not recently.” Why did Daiki hedge?
Akihiro tilted his head and observed him, making Daiki feel like a miniature painting Akihiro was studying with a magnifying glass. “You’re living with him?”
Daiki nodded. There was no lying since Akihiro slept in the second bedroom more than Daiki had been in his own bed recently. His bed only seemed to be his if Sage was snuggled next to him.
“Do you love him?” Akihiro had a way of cutting through all the nonsense and honing in on the important things.
It hadn’t been a gradual falling… more like an appearance of the first line on a storyboard. Each day more and more lines were added—along with vivid colors so bright at times it was blinding—and now he didn’t know how to continue his own story without Sage. Though feeling that he was in charge of his own storyboards was good.
Again, Daiki didn’t trust his voice, so he nodded.
Akihiro grinned. “Good. Sensei deserves to be happy.”
“No warnings?” Daiki was surprised.
Staring out into the distance, Akihiro wore a ghost of a smile. “Don’t let him go.”
AKIHIRO’S TOO-PERFECT assessment of Kashi-sei’s manga still bounced around Daiki’s head as he stepped into the plush luxury apartment.
A track of the band’s most recent practice session played. The lights of Tokyo twinkled through the balcony doors.
He set the painting and his bag down at the door and followed the sound of someone singing just a little off-key to the song.
Daiki rounded the corner to see Sage air-drumming around the kitchen as he got the dinner out of the delivery containers and into serving bowls. His longer hair was tied in front so the blond strands were out of his face but sticking straight up. The hairstyle made him look adorable, like an anime character.
Perfection.
Yes, Ikeda Daiki loved Sage Nakamura… there was no doubt.
Happiness seeped into every part of Daiki as affection splattered all over the storyboards in his mind.
But flawlessness couldn’t go on forever. Perfection had an expiration date. He tried to brace himself because the storyboards his heart had drawn wouldn’t allow him to hold back.
Sage did a fast riff on invisible drums and then spun around. He halted midbeat. One side of his mouth turned up in that sexy smirk of his that promised wonderful things would happen later tonight. The heat that quickly sketched between them in his brain seemed to wipe out Daiki’s wish to capture this moment on the page, and instead he melted into Sage’s open arms to burn the memory into both of their lips.
Daiki forgot all about storyboards, holding back, perfection expiring, and he just slipped deeper in love.
The pure satisfaction of finding the man he loved in the kitchen air-drumming… he’d never be able to draw that much joy.
Daiki’s hands cupped Sage’s face, allowing the smell of chicken rice bowls and a freshly showered Sage to become forever entwined in his mind with happiness.
Sage lowered his mouth to Daiki’s. He glided his lips over Daiki’s top lip and then his bottom lip. With patience and sweetness, his mouth covered Daiki’s, making his lips part of their own accord to welcome Sage’s tongue.
They playfully tangled their tongues, but then Sage walked Daiki back against the cabinet and friction happened. Sage ground his lower half against Daiki, causing need and desire to spill through him.
Sage nipped at Daiki’s lower lip and then suggested, “Maybe dinner can wait a bit, and we—”
“Yes!” Zen howled, then yelled, “Yes!” again.
Daiki jumped back out of habit.
Sighing, Sage released him.
Three pairs of feet thundered toward the kitchen.
Zen clutched his phone above his head as if he were taking a victory lap. “We’ve got our first gig as Kashi-sei.”
“What?” Sage stiffened like a ruler.
Not sure what made Sage look ill at the incredible news, Daiki rested a steadying hand on him.
Zen shifted from foot to foot, looking at them with anticipation.
Sage remained silent, so Daiki said, “That’s great. Where?”
Haru rested a hand on Sage’s shoulder. “Zen pulled in a favor. The Warehouse is letting us do a set.”
“How did this happen?” Sage’s tone made it sound like he wasn’t aware playing music for an audience was high on their list of things to do as a band.
Zen shrugged. “I know it’s a small club, only holds five to six hundred, but it’ll give us audience feedback.”
“Only?” Sage choked on the word. “Five to six hundred… people?”
Haru snorted. “Usually people make up an audience.”
Daiki stepped closer to Sage, wishing he could help.
“Yeah, I wonder if we could create more of a buzz by making the show pseudo-secret,” Wayuu chimed in.
Zen nodded and pointed at Wayuu. “I love that.”
Haru stole a piece of chicken out of one of the bowls. “Usually bands that do that have a cult following. We don’t have that.”
“Not yet.” Zen smirked.
“Aw, this guy. He’s filled with confidence.” Haru sneered and patted Zen on the back.
The three guys laughed.
Daiki dabbed the sweat off Sage’s brow and whispered, “Are you okay?”
Sage made a strangled sound.
“Am I wrong?” Zen asked with the perfect amount of haughty idol mixed with hopefulness.
“Hey, two idols and a YouTube star in one band. I’m hanging on for the ride.” There was truth in what Haru said.
Wayuu shook his head. “No need to downplay your talent.”
Haru glanced around. “Did you see me do that? You guys have all sorts of expectations… whereas me? No one knows me.”
Haru’s bedroom door opened. “You’re a hidden star who will go nova.” All Daiki saw was a curtain of dark hair, and the door closed again.
Daiki had to ask. “Haru, is that your girlfriend?”
Haru’s face was all aglow, making Daiki wish he could capture it on the page. “Yeah, she moved in late last night, and she’s kind of shy. Ichi… Ichi, can you come out to say hi?”
The door reopened in slow motion and a young woman stepped out. She didn’t make eye contact, but she waved.
Before she could disappear again, Haru pulled her to the group. “This is Tachibana Ichika. She is my heart, soul, and better half.”
She bowed, greeted each of them, and told them to call her Ichika or Ichi.
Zen gave her his idol smile and asked, “How did you make the bad decision to hook up with our man Haru?”
Her gasp sounded more like a warrior call as she glared at Zen. “He’s the best man I know.”
Her bitten-out words seemed to force Zen backward
. He held his hands out in front of him. “I’m just joking.”
“Never tease about Haru not being the most incredible person in the world. It’s incorrect and not amusing,” Ichika warned, as if she’d go to war over another misstep.
Wayuu folded his arms over his chest and grinned. “I like you.”
She turned her attention to Wayuu. Glancing up at his towering height, she nodded. “Thank you.”
“Do you want some dinner?” Daiki asked.
“Thank you, Sensei, but I ate before I came back.” She smiled at the group, except for Zen. “I appreciate no one having a problem with me staying with Haru.”
“None whatsoever.” Zen used his sweetest tone, as if trying to win her over.
She gave him a nod. “I’ll go back to my work. Enjoy the night.”
Everyone watched her head into the bedroom.
Zen patted Haru on the shoulder. “She’s a tiger.”
Haru smirked. “Just don’t get on her wrong side. She does have claws.”
Zen snorted but gave him a proud nod. “So I’ve noticed.”
“I’m going to get some air.” Sage stepped around the group and went to the balcony.
As soon as the balcony door slid shut, Wayuu, Haru, and Zen all stared at Daiki as if he had an answer.
Daiki had none so kept quiet.
Not being good with gray areas, Zen asked, “What’s with him?”
“I don’t know.” Daiki hurriedly gathered the bowls and put them on the table.
Should Daiki go out there? Did Sage want to be alone? What should he do?
Zen shrugged and pushed a stack of plates and silverware to the middle of the table. “Maybe he’s pissed I didn’t ask him before scheduling the Warehouse.”
“He doesn’t seem like that.” Haru grabbed out five beers and set them on the table.
Wayuu put a hand on Daiki’s shoulder. “You should go talk to him.”
Daiki went out onto the balcony. A rain drizzled down so lightly you couldn’t see the mist unless you looked at the city lights at a certain angle.
Sage didn’t even look at him. He kept staring at the skyline.
“What’s upsetting you?” Daiki was working on being more direct, so he bypassed the usual back-and-forth.
“It’s sudden. That show. Just all of a sudden, we’re doing a show. It’s out of order of our plan.” Sage started drumming on the railing.
“But isn’t this a good step? A small crowd to get some feedback.” That’s what Daiki thought the plan was.
“Small, yeah. Maybe that number isn’t what those guys are used to but… that’s a lot of people.” Shaking his head, Sage continued to drum, a bit faster now.
Daiki was missing something.
“Why don’t you go in and have something to eat. I’ll be in soon,” Sage said.
Daiki reached out, but Sage didn’t respond. It almost felt like he was no longer in Daiki’s storyboard, but that was nonsense. Daiki let his hand drop to his side. He’d give Sage some time.
As soon as Daiki stepped inside and slipped off his shoes, Zen appeared next to him.
“So? How is he?” Zen glanced out toward Sage.
Wayuu squinted out the windows to the balcony and then turned his attention to Daiki.
What could he say? “He’s okay. Probably just needs some time to let everything sink in.”
Haru nodded. “Yeah, that’s it. It’s a big thing Zen scored.”
After a strained fifteen minutes of Daiki hoping everything would be okay, Sage joined them at the table. “Hey, sorry about that. Zen, great job.”
“Why, thank you,” Zen replied with extra bubble left over from his WTZ days.
Daiki filled Sage’s plate.
“Thanks.” Sage gave Daiki a smile that didn’t reach his eyes.
It’s okay. Everything will be fine. Sage is probably overwhelmed.
After four beers and only a few bites of dinner, Sage fell asleep on the sofa.
With Wayuu’s help, Daiki got Sage into bed. “Thanks, Wayuu.”
“Anytime. You really think it’s all good?” Wayuu pressed his lips together and tilted his head toward the drunken Sage.
I don’t know. I think so. I’ve never seen the man I’ve fallen in love with act like this.
Drawing on a believable smile, he gave Wayuu a nod. “Of course.”
Wayuu shrugged. He didn’t seem to buy it but adhered to the norms of agreeing. He left them alone.
Sage was already in sweatpants, so Daiki covered him with the blanket.
There would be no making good on the promises that kiss had made.
And just like that, perfection evaporated like paint left in the sun. Daiki could see the outline of the beautiful color, but he wasn’t sure what to do with it.
Chapter 14
GLANCING OUT over the skyline of Tokyo, Sage wished he could see something other than his doom from the apartment’s balcony. He tried to focus on the late-blooming sakura, but nothing eased the feeling or the tightening in his chest.
Zen opened the balcony door. “Mind if I join you?”
Nodding, Sage gave him a smile. Zen would be a great distraction as long as he didn’t talk about the upcoming show. Wanting to ensure that, Sage asked, “Do you think the leaked photos of the BDSM shoot worked?”
Running his hands along the silver railing that ringed the balcony, Zen said, “Our social media platforms have been flooded with positives and appreciation. So I’d say it worked….”
Sage didn’t miss Zen’s concern. “What? Is Ito still harassing Wayuu?”
Zen shook his head with a frown. “Way says no.”
“But you don’t believe him?”
Shrugging, Zen tapped on the railing. “I’m not sure. Something is bothering him, and he’s still worried, but isn’t saying anything to protect the band.”
“He should just tell the guy to fuck off.” Sage didn’t get how Wayuu seemed almost guilty for not bending to Ito’s pressure.
Zen chuckled. “Easy for you to say.”
“What do you mean?”
“If Wayuu’s experience was anything like mine, the agency who managed him controlled everything. I felt dependent on them, and I was consumed with dread going against them even in the slightest way. I didn’t want to disappoint them.”
Only vaguely aware of the power dynamics that were sometimes used to control idols, Sage couldn’t right the whole system, but he wanted to fix this one situation. “If it comes up, remind him I can front him the money owed to Ito. Whatever he needs. I’ve offered before, but—”
“I’ll take care of him, though it’s good to know you’ve got our backs.” Zen patted him on the shoulder.
Sage could understand Wayuu not wanting to be beholden to anyone, but he wanted to help his bandmates in any way he could.
The silence had started to grow uncomfortable, and Sage reached for something to say. “So we’re getting buzz on our platforms?”
“We are. But Way is getting too many offers.” Zen gripped the railing and pulled upward.
“Offers of?”
Zen exhaled hard. “Idiots wanting to dominate him… have him dominate them, have sex with him… any number of inappropriate suggestions.”
Sage tried to make light of it. “Maybe he’ll find a Dom and—”
“Not out there he won’t…. Have a good night.” Zen stomped inside before Sage could respond.
Well, that was a distraction… though not a good one. Time to go inside.
Sage went into his—no, their—bedroom and found Daiki in bed, sketching. He locked the door and hoped tonight would be different.
Grinning, Daiki put his electronic drawing pad aside and spread his arms open wide. “Come here.”
Straddling Daiki’s lap, Sage cupped his face. He kissed him thoroughly.
Sexy Daiki was shirtless, willing, and all his for the taking… any way Sage wanted him, and yet again Sage couldn’t. That perfect beat was just out of the reach of h
is drums… and dick.
As it had been for the last week, he couldn’t rise to the occasion. His body felt out of sync with his need for Daiki. Sighing, he rolled off to the side of the bed and took Daiki into his arms.
Trying not to get into his head, Sage focused on Daiki, who throbbed and choked on moans for his attention. Sage pressed his lips against Daiki’s and pushed the beast of worry away. He fumbled into Daiki’s pants, wrapped his hand around Daiki, and then gave him a firm stroke. He used Daiki’s foreskin to glide over the wet tip.
Sage whispered, “You’re so hot.” Daiki may not have had the experience most of Sage’s past partners had, but he gave with such an open willingness that Sage’s heart melted.
Rolling toward the middle of the bed, Daiki tried to get a grip on Sage’s flaccid penis, but jumper cables couldn’t put life into Sage. “I can—”
“I’m good,” Sage shifted his hips away. He’d googled the hell out of erectile dysfunction.
The tests his parents insisted on before he moved to Japan ruled out most of the other medical possibilities, only leaving acute stress and anxiety to be the identified causes. If it didn’t clear after the concert, he’d seek help from a physician because he didn’t want to suffer with this for much longer.
He wished he could suck it up and get past the anxiety. There were so many things he and Daiki had put on their list, and he was more than ready to start checking things off—if only his body would cooperate.
But a dark cloud hung over him. The feeling of dread increased the closer the date Kashi-sei would play for an audience got.
An audience…. What had he been thinking?
A whimpering gasp drew Sage’s full attention.
Daiki fanned his hand over Sage’s body, and when he reached Sage’s dead zone, he whispered, “You’re more than good. I just want—”
“I’m stressed about the show.” That was the understatement of the decade. Was he trading in his sex life for the band? No, this would ease up.
Daiki gave him a gentle look that broke Sage nearly as much as his insecure tone. “Maybe I could—”
Sage kissed him quiet. The doubt in Daiki’s voice made Sage feel even more inadequate. As soon as Daiki relaxed in his arms, Sage pulled back from the kiss. “Things aren’t working… right now. It’s okay. Let me take care of you.”